Chapter 4: What happened that Night

Alex shut the door to her office behind her. The building was mostly empty and she was relieved to have the solitude. That senseless fight she had with Olivia had worn her out, and she didn't want to go home and face it just yet. She needed time to think, to figure things out.

Alex began making a small pot of coffee for herself. She knew this would most likely end up being a long and painful night. While she waited for the coffee, she slipped out of her tight fitting skirt and silk top into some black trousers and a sweater she kept in her office.

After pouring herself a cup, she wrapped her hands tightly around the warm mug and took a seat at her desk. She turned the chair to face out her window that overlooked more buildings and the streets of New York. She propped her feet up on the window sill, a most unprofessional move, but at the moment she really didn't care.

She looked out over the still busy streets, the haze of passers-by and taxi's honking. It was a noise she loved. It was the noise that she had left so many times before and almost always regretfully. Yet, there was still this drive that kept her going, but there had always been someone that pulled her back. Someone she had fallen in love with, and had a child with. She buried her head in her hands as she remembered the words she spurted out in anger and frustration: He's MY child, not yours.

She was regretful of those words. They pressed a heavy weight down on her that she didn't know was possible. She knew Olivia must be feeling the same thing. Liv had been there for everything: the preterm labor, the hostage situation, the bed rest, and the birth. How could she say Riley wasn't Olivia's? She'd helped raise him and knew she would continue to do so.

Before Olivia, Alex had dated on and off, but in the end she always knew they weren't the right person for her, and so it was only self preservation that made her say those things, a deeply rooted reaction that she had thought she had managed to get past. They hadn't called her the 'Ice Princess' for no reason and Olivia was the first one that truly broke through to her. That was why it hurt her so much to hear Olivia say she didn't want to go with her. Then again, she didn't exactly give her the adequate amount of time to adjust to the option.

She gently spun her chair around to face the front of the desk and set her coffee down. She picked up one of the framed pictures on her desk. This was the real reason she knew she had to go. She looked down at the people in the picture, it had been taken outside an orphanage the second day she had arrived in The Congo. It had been on her first mission with the ICC. She stood next to a tall dark man that draped his arm around her shoulder as if they had been friends for ages. He was a native that had grown up in the rebel militia but one day he got left behind and the orphanage picked him up and rehabilitated him. Now he spent his days guarding foreign diplomats through the countryside of The Congo. Next to him were three ladies dressed in colorful dashiki's. They ran an orphanage for the refugee children that had escaped the militia's bonds. A little girl with long braids and colorful barrettes stood in front of Alex. Her eyes were bright, resilient, and her smile shone vibrantly in the picture. She had been orphaned after a particularly gruesome rebel attack. She had lost her arm in that raid along with her innocence. It was her face that woke Alex up at night.

Her name was Habika, and she represented her name well for she truly was a sweetheart. Alex had been so eager to make a difference that she wasted no time. She quickly got acquainted with the people and with the land. The first night she arrived, she spent the whole day talking with the orphans and with some of the ladies that had survived the attack and made it to a refugee camp. Their stories fuelled her indignation and she couldn't wait to visit the same town where these atrocities had occurred. She knew it wouldn't be a particularly pleasant visit, but if she wanted to win in the courts, she had to know what it was like in the battlefield. Yet, there was no way she could have prepared herself for what she saw or what had happened there the night she went.

Alex ran her thumb over the photo as if she could draw some strength from the smiles. The second night she was there, the former soldier took her, Habika, and one of the ladies to the city where Habika had first been attacked. The girl had been eager to show her the small town where she had grown up. AS she looked over the picture, Alex let her mind wander back to that day.

The jeep rocked back and forth over the hard dirt and pebbled ground. It was the dry season and everything around them was dying. The heat bore down on her with such intensity. She wore a scarf over her hair that flapped behind her as the driver sped along the 'highway'. They had no intension of being caught in the middle of the desert if they happened across some of the militia soldiers. Habika sat next to Alex in between her and the driver. One of the orphanage directors sat in the back seat and swayed along with the jeep. The former soldier stood in the back. A turret had been mounted to the jeep and he kept his hands up and ready, and his eyes searched the countryside as they drove. This was dangerous territory.

When they arrived, the little town had sparse inhabitants. Habika looked at it with the eyes of one much older, but nonetheless, she took Alex's hand and walked her to the house she grew up. "This was my room," she said proudly. The orphanage directors taught all the kids English in a hope that it would help them gain a better life. "I shared it with my brother and my sister."

Alex looked around the small dirt floor room and smiled down at Habika. She hated what had happened to this little girl, but had to ask. She had to know. Habika had been the one to suggest that she testify, and so Alex bent down to the girls level and looked into her bright eyes, "Can you tell me what happened that night sweetheart?"

The girl looked her directly in the eyes, fearlessly. "It was dark that night. We had heard reports that the militia was getting close, but they got here quicker than we imagined. They waited until everyone was asleep. The first gunshots woke us up." She moved to the little window in the room and stared out. She pointed off in the distance and Alex could still see the remains of crumbled buildings. "They set fire to the homes there and made their way toward us. My father grabbed his gun and tried to fight them off, but he was shot before he even got a round off. They came in here, three of them. They killed my brother and took me and my sister into the living room." Habika's words trailed off in distant memory. She was thirteen now, it had been four years since the attack. Her eyes glossed over as she recounted the next events. "One man held back my mother as the two men began to rape my sister. I hid in the corner. My sister fought them too much though. They cut off her head. I closed my eyes; I can still hear my mother screaming. Then they drug me in front of her, but by this time, her cries were turning into sobs and the soldiers taunted her. They wanted a rise out of her, so they cut off my arm." She showed Alex the stub that remained and she absent mindedly rubbed it. "Then they raped me in front of my mother while I lay bleeding on the floor. I became numb, and they just left me there to die. Then they killed my mother."

The orphanage director stood in the doorway of the home listening to Habika retell her story to Alex. "I found her barely breathing the next day and took her back with me to the orphanage. She was one of the few lucky ones that survived that day," the director said.

Alex placed a hand on the girls shoulder. "And it's no wonder that you did; you're a strong young lady."

Habika beamed from ear to ear. "I know. That's why I am here to help you win your case. I want justice for the other girls like me."

Alex stared in amazement down at the girl. She showed a resilience and wisdom beyond her years. That night, they made camp in that same small home. The city was too far for a drive back, and they didn't want to chance being caught on the open road in the middle of the night by the militia, but there was no escaping them that night.

Alex slammed the picture down on her desk and let her head fall into her arms. She cried. They were tears of anger, of sorrow, of loss, and of regret. Her body heaved slightly with the emotions that wreaked havoc on her body.

Gun shots and screams awoke them that night. Screams that terrified the girl that had been lying next to her on that dirt floor and who was now huddled in the corner. Alex moved to crawl to her, but the soldier pushed her down on the ground as a gunshot whizzed by. The bullet landed in the wall and the girl screamed. The soldier peaked out the window. "The shot was a stray. We have to move now," he said.

He grabbed Alex's arm and helped her stand. The orphanage director scooped up the girl and carried her out of the room behind Alex and the soldier. They heard screaming as they exited the house. They were chasing after them. Gun shots blasted into the night, illuminating the countryside in ferocious spurts of light. The moon lit her way as Alex raced to the car. Then she heard a scream. She turned to see the woman holding Habika tumble to the ground. She had been shot in the back.

Habika rolled onto the ground and lay there stunned and unable to move. The soldier told Alex to climb into the back of the Jeep and lay down. The driver already had the car on and she did as he said. Several more gunshots and several piercing screams filled the night. The soldier hobbled back to the car holding a limp girl in his arms. He had been shot in the leg as he went to rescue the girl. He handed her limp form to Alex and climbed to the turret. He yelled in anger as he pulled the trigger and the Jeep raced off in the night back toward the city.

Alex felt for a pulse on Habika. There was one; a faint one, but she lay there bleeding in Alex's arms. Slowly her eyes began to close and she faded away. Alex shook her as tears wracked her body. "No, don't die on me, Habika. Not like this, not like this." Her 'no's' became a silent cry, a mantra she kept repeating as she hugged the girl closer to her body and rocked her lifeless form.

They made it back to the city that night. The next day, Alex attended Habika's funeral at a graveyard not far from the city. There were several women and orphans that she had met attending the funeral; and as they lowered the girl's body into the ground, Alex looked around and made a silent vow to get justice for all these women and children. It was a vow that she hadn't been able to keep. After three months, the indictment was thrown out, and the gorilla leader of the rebel militia was back on the streets and terrorizing the countryside, and there was nothing Alex could do about it . . . Until now.

Alex lifted her head after the tears had stopped. She rubbed her eyes and looked up as she blinked away her tears. Her chest hurt where she had been shot many years ago, it was a phantom pain that flared up when she thought of Habika. She sighed heavily. She had to go home to Olivia, to her son, but she couldn't stay there.

*-*/*-*/*-*/*-*/

Olivia lay in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was two am and still Alex hadn't returned home. The detective in her feared the worst, but she knew Alex was most likely at her office. She had hoped that she wouldn't stay there all night and Olivia was beginning to get restless. She thought about heading over there, but knew that Alex would come home when she was ready. As she lay there though, she got more and more restless. Just as she was about to get up and head to the office, she heard keys in the lock and the front door open.

Alex walked into the apartment and set her keys down on the entry table. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes and the bags that had formed there. Then she laid her briefcase down and headed into their bedroom.

Olivia turned on a lamp and sat up in the bed. She watched as Alex walked into the room without acknowledging her. "You're back," she said slightly surprised.

Alex looked up at her with sad eyes and said, "I just needed some time." She readily slipped out of her clothing and into some night clothes.

Olivia watched her, but said nothing. Her motions were weak, defeated. So, Liv sat there waiting for Alex to make the first move.

Alex slowly climbed into the bed. She sat her glasses down on the nightstand before she turned to look at Olivia. She let her head fall to the backboard and she didn't even try to make excuses for what she'd said. She could see the hurt in Olivia's eyes and she was sorry that she'd been the one to put it there. So, she apologized, "I'm sorry Liv. Everything I said," she took her gaze off Olivia and looked out at nothing in particular and continued, "I didn't mean it." She breathed in heavily and glanced over at Olivia. She seemed to accept her apology with the faint flicker of her eyes, but she remained quiet. She needed an explanation, but Alex wasn't sure she was ready to give her one.

As much as Olivia wanted to take Alex into her arms and accept her apology and draw out her reasons, she stayed quiet. She looked at Alex and saw that she had a wall up, an old wall; or perhaps a new one and she wasn't yet sure how to breach it. She reached out and pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. The movement brought a weak smile to Alex's face. "I know," Olivia said. She looked Alex in the eyes and apologized too, "We both said some things we didn't mean."

Alex kept her gaze on Olivia. She knew she was forgiven for those harsh words, and she forgave Olivia for the things she had said too. Alex sighed but kept her eyes on Olivia to read her reaction as she said, "I have to go Liv."

Olivia turned her body to face Alex more, now determined to know why. "Alex, can't we at least talk about this some more?"

Alex wasn't able to look Olivia in the eyes anymore. She was torn between the need to go and her longing to do what Olivia wanted, which was to stay. So, she reacted in the only way she knew how. She had made her decision but didn't want Liv to feel pressured or guilty for staying. So she turned to Olivia and said, "I am leaving in two days, but I am leaving Riley with you." She looked into Liv's eyes and saw the confusion, but instead of giving her time to argue, Alex slinked under the covers and rolled away from Olivia and closed her eyes.

Olivia sat there stunned as she looked down at Alex. She was unable to formulate any words and unable to distinguish what she was feeling. It was a relief that Riley wasn't being torn away from her, but why was Alex leaving? What tormented her so?