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By the Baring of my Soul
~ Chapter Four ~
Shrugging out from beneath the duster and hanging it on the coat-rack beside the door of the offices used for the more official business we occasionally carried out, Alberta was already seated at the head of the old oak conference table; shuffling paperwork and muttering beneath her breathe as she waited for me to join her.
Closing the door quietly behind me to keep from disturbing her before heading to the pot of gurgling coffee sitting on the sideboard, Alberta looked up at me nonetheless; smiling absently in greeting as she ran her fingers through the messy disorder of her hair and scrubbed her open palms over the harshly set lines of her weathered face.
"Thank you for helping with this, Dimitri."
Grabbing two polystyrene cups, I poured the thick caffeine mixture, added sugar and cream before heading towards her. Placing one at her left elbow, I moved around to her right. Pulling out a chair, I nodded in easy agreement as I took a seat beside her.
"It really isn't any trouble at all, Alberta. I meant what I said earlier." My agenda then might not have been entirely truthful for reason's I couldn't tell her, but helping her now in any way whilst she was under such immense pressure had no motives that were hidden.
My other motives…motives that involved a very angry, very resentful Rose Hathaway were another matter entirely. I would have to deal with both her disappointment and the knowledge that she now had of the trial when the time came, but that wasn't now.
Reaching for a pencil, Alberta twirled it nimbly between her fingers…fingers that could just as easily twirl the deadly edge of a stake as she wielded it with years of experience and familiarity as my attention refocused on her as she slid a copy of the duty roster towards me.
"Alright. Let's go over the schedule again and see where we can fill in the holes whilst we're away."
Spending the next half hour going over the watch timetables and the training allotments for the next two weeks; my shifts, as well as Dustin's and Alan's were reshuffled again and again to maximize our contributions for the time we would be away until Alberta and I had finally nailed down all the loose ends.
The morning training before breakfast that should have been Celeste's would now become mine and would be the last one for the seniors before the field experience began after lunch. It was an opportunity for me to help them prepare one last time, but it was also one of the last times I would be able to have Rose with me and I knew that had a far larger appeal than anything else.
After our last encounter I knew that I should have kept my distance, but the unescapable lure of her pulled me back in when I should have fought hardest against it.
Resting back against the hard support of my chair, I folded my hands over my stomach and stretched out my legs, crossing them at the ankle as I watched a much calmer Alberta from the corner of my eye.
Having a very rare window of opportunity – Alberta alone and without the interfering influence of those around her – I decided to use the time that I had to voice something that had been playing on my mind since the field experience pairings had been drawn up…something that was going to raise more than a few eyebrows and upset someone who was already irritable and frustrated with a situation she couldn't control.
Turning back to me, Alberta looked at me questioningly as I thought about how I was going to approach this without making it look suspiciously like favoritism, but as I contemplated it, my window was almost instantly shut as I heard the approach of guardians along the central hallway leading to the office.
Shaking my head again at the timing that seemed constantly against me, I faced the closed door as the noise made by what sounded like a half-dozen guardians but were in actuality only two, filtered into the quiet room as Stephen Hendriks, followed closely by Emil Dalca, barged through the door a second later.
Respectively American and Romanian by birth, they were both close to my age but had been at the academy almost two years longer, having both been placed here within a month of each other and were normally entertaining to be around if you could stomach their particular brand of twisted humour.
Stephen worked primarily on the elementary campus whilst Emil – who had been part of the contingent I had with me when we had eventually found the missing Princess and her conspiring, dhampir cohort in Portland – was often my shift partner.
Both expressing mild surprise as seeing Alberta and I here when they knew that my watch had already started, they nodded respectfully at her before grinning broadly at me as they past us and headed straight for the percolating coffee pot that was never empty.
Sipping my own and grimacing into the cup as the burnt acidity of the coffee granules caught at the back of my throat, I dutifully drank it; desperately in need of the caffeine injection after the restless exhaustion of the past few weeks began to catch up.
Emil, having poured his own brand of poison; black, chokingly thick and sugarless, turned to face us as he leant back against the sideboard and stifled a yawn before asking.
"What's the rumpus?"
Gathering her paperwork with brisk, efficient movements, Alberta replied without much fanfare. "There is no rumpus, Emil…Dimitri and I were going over the reshuffle of watches whilst we're away for the trial."
"Ah."
Elbowing Stephen as he came to stand at his right, Emil grinned at him mischievously as Stephen snorted beneath his breath and covered it with a cough. I already knew what they were up to; they had been angling to get to Court since hearing about the trial and had been very vocal about not being included as witnesses against Dashkov.
"You know, Alberta," Emil cajoled softly as he locked the electric blue of his eyes on Alberta in an attempt to appeal to her female psyche in a way that could only be interpreted as flirting. "If you and Dimitri want to stay here, Stephen and I would be more than happy to take your place at Court. We were also involved in the operation that night, and would excellent material witnesses. Let this be our burden, not yours."
Having already heard this spiel more than once, Alberta was more than wise to his games. Sitting back in her seat, she folded her arms over her chest and smiled at them in a way that would make most men squirm in acute discomfort
"Thank you, Emil. I understand what a sacrifice this must be for you to offer and I applaud your selflessness in this regard." Leaning forward, Alberta laced her fingers together and rested her elbows on her thighs as her false appreciation melted away to reveal her biting reproach. "But the only way that either of you are leaving these grounds, is if you're carried off them by Strigoi."
Sitting back again, she arched a censuring eyebrow at them whilst they shifted restlessly against the wood in discomfort and reminded them that they had their own duties to perform. "Don't you two have somewhere that you need to be?"
Hiding my amusement as the pair writhed under Alberta's withering disapproval, they made to leave with their coffee, but their hasty exodus was halted by the arrival of another guardian…one that I felt very little amusement around and even less liking for.
Crossing the threshold with a stomping stride that more than eloquently expressed the intolerant nature of the man, Stan Alto stopped abruptly as he saw the gathering; noting everything with a few flicks of his flat grey eyes.
Older than I was by about three or four years, his border-line contempt for the novices – even those he himself instructed personally – made his features seemed constantly pinched and unpleasant. Understanding his methods of instruction even though I did not entirely agree with them, it was something that I could have overlooked if not for his more than obvious contempt for one student…mine.
Having witnessed his almost gleeful humiliation of Rose during her reintroduction to the academy had very clearly drawn a line for me…even when I knew that I could never afford to have one. He might have admitted a grudging respect for her after slaying Mason's murderers with the relationship between the two of them no nearly as strained as before, but there was still a deep-seated dislike of her that didn't seem likely to ever change.
For the most part I avoided him. Not because I merely disliked the man, but because there were times when I couldn't hide the rage he inspired as he constantly questioned Rose's place in the academy and her right to protect a Moroi Princess. He would never have been able to rise to the challenges she had not only met, but had beaten, yet seemed incapable of recognizing that as he constantly put her down.
"What?" He mocked, uncaring as to the frown he was receiving from Alberta as he strolled arrogantly into the room. "There's a party going on and nobody invited me?"
Heading for the coffee, I wondered grimly why he was awake; his shift wouldn't start for hours and as I heard Alberta voice the same thing, I realised she was just as suspicious of him. She had hauled him over the coals more than once since I had arrived for excessive force against students and didn't seem to like him anymore than I did.
"No party, Stan. Only planning. You're not on watch for another three hours. What's on your mind?"
Pouring a cup, he turned back to Alberta and shrugged dismissively as Emil and Stephen remained rooted to the spot. "Nothing much. Just thought I would get a jump start on the day, go through the schedule. Celeste has the morning training session with the seniors and I thought I would lend a hand before the field experience kicks off."
Instantly on my guard, I knew exactly why he wanted the last training session…and it had nothing to do with helping them.
"That's very generous of you, Stan, but not necessary," Alberta interceded smoothly as she felt me bristle at her side. "Dimitri and I have just reorganized the schedule and he'll be taking Celeste's training session." Sliding a sheet towards him over the polished surface of the table, he slapped his hand down on it before it could fly off the edge.
Eyeing both it and me with barely concealed rancor, Stan smiled derisively after briefly scanning the roster and shoving it to the side. "Did he? That was very magnanimous of you, Belikov. Why would you do that?"
"The why's aren't important, Stan." Alberta slotted in before I could respond. She knew that he was spoiling for an argument and didn't want to have to referee. "Dimitri is taking extra shifts to accommodate for the time he will be away at the trial. Dustin and Alan will do the same…are you going to question them too?"
Holding up his hands in an act of contrition that no one believed for a second, Stan backed off. "Whatever you say, Alberta. Whatever you say." Sipping at his coffee, he shoved his free hand into his slacks and walked slowly from one end of the room to the next, his gaze fixed on to something on the outside as he watched the howl of the wind batter the land.
Exhaling warily, Alberta stood and collected her paperwork. Realizing that I wasn't going to get another opportunity to do this before the field experience began and the time that it took to make the change was up, I stood with her.
"Alberta…there's one last thing I'd like to suggest before I go."
Not looking up at me, Alberta carried on with her organizing as she answered and the others; including Stan, glanced at me curiously. "What is it, Dimitri?"
"A last-minute change to the combinations for the field experience."
Tilting her head, Alberta straightened up and looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean? You already know that the final pairings were made last week. You helped with them."
"Yes, which is why I know that it wouldn't be difficult to reshuffle just one." I had a sneaking suspicion that although I hadn't said anything more, she already knew the reshuffle that I was about to suggest and it made her next question warily asked.
"Who?"
"I want to pair Edison Castile with Princess Vasilisa...and Rose with Christian Ozera."
Emil – in the middle of gulping a mouthful of his scalding coffee – chocked and spluttered as he tried to breath it instead of swallowing; thrusting the cup onto the sideboard as he coughed and wheezed whilst Stephen pounded his back with the flat of his palm to help...I got the sense that he was enjoying it more than he should have.
"Are you crazy, Dimitri?" He ground out, pushing impatiently at Stephen as he moved away from the beating he was still receiving despite clearing the blockage from his windpipe. "Hathaway will go nuclear if you pair her with anyone other than Lissa. Shit, man...you know better than any of us what she's like."
About to answer him, I caught the glint of disdain from Stan as he wandered back to stand to Alberta's left and felt my fingers curl into clenched fury at the sight of it. If he was looking for an argument that would escalate into a fight, then maybe I would give him what he wanted…
"I have to agree with Emil, Dimitri," Alberta voiced, eyeing me as though I had lost my mind as I turned my attention away from Stan and back to her.
"Rose will cause too much of a disruption and will probably refuse outright to protect him. You know that if she refuses to protect her assigned Moroi for whatever reason during the field experience, that she will face removal from it and won't graduate. She's your student…are you really willing to take that chance?"
Hearing her very real concern, I processed Alberta's words, but I remained resolute. Rose was the ideal choice to be paired with Lissa because of their shared history and bond, but with Lissa it was all too easy. Rose needed to be pushed…to be challenged so that she could prove not only to herself, but to everyone else what she was capable of.
The passion she had displayed earlier at being left out of the trial had only convinced me of that further…I wanted her to have the chance to rise to the occasion and with Lissa, she wouldn't.
"There's no risk involved, Alberta, so I don't see the danger. Yes, she isn't going to be happy about it and will protest in whatever way she feels will garner the most attention, but she won't refuse to protect him. She's vengeful and petty…to a degree, but she will protect him once she's made to see reason.
"Made to see reason…is that even possible with Rose?" Stephen asked with quiet humour underling the deep timber of his voice.
Ignoring him, I held Alberta's gaze steady as she shook her head at me; understandably confused as to my behaviour. "Even if that is true and she accepts it, however badly, I still don't understand why you want to make this change now. You had no problem with this last week when we were rostering the pairings, so why the sudden change, Dimitri?"
"Yes, Dimitri…why the sudden change now?"
Turning towards Stan so that both he and Alberta were pinned by the intensity of my reply, I kept the depth of my emotion from my voice and simply stated the facts…something that the pragmatic Alberta would not be able to overlook.
"Nothing's changed in the last week except for the time it's taken to get through it. I know that it makes sense to pair them because of their connection, but that also makes them vulnerable because they rely on it too heavily. Rose needs to learn that she has instincts…good instincts that she needs to listen to and she doesn't do that with Lissa because she's already so attuned to her that it blocks out everything else."
"You said it yourself. There are no guarantees that once they've graduated Rose will be assigned to Lissa. If that happens, she has to be prepared to deal, interact and protect someone on a daily basis that she might not necessarily like or even get along with. Right now, that's Christian Ozera."
"She hates Zeklos just as much – if not more...why not pair her up with him? Why Ozera?"
"Jesus, no," Emil muttered quietly as we all heard Stan's suggestion. "She's just as likely to feed him to the Strigoi herself as she is to protect him from them. We can't have her protecting Jesse Zeklos, even if it is only for field experience. What about one of the Badica's?"
"Maybe...we can –"
"No!" I interrupted as Alberta began to run through the names in her head. "Pair Christian with Rose. They have similar personalities which is why they rub sparks off each other, but trust me...she will protect him and at the same time learn to listen to her gut…something that could save her life one day as well as the Moroi she's eventually assigned to."
"Yeah?" Stephen asked in mocking amusement as he collected his coffee and walked towards me, clapping me lightly on the shoulder in what felt vaguely like a pat of sympathy whilst Alberta continued to stare at me as though I had grown an extra head. "And who's going to protect you, when the volatile young Rose finds out who suggested the pairing?"
Glaring at him in withering annoyance, Emil grabbed his cup and joined in. "I'll put down twenty that she has a tantrum and tries to punch someone."
"No, no, no, no…that's too easy a bet because it's too predictable of Rose. You need to be specific, Em…who is she going to punch?" Eyeing me, Stephen smirked. "I think she'll take a swipe at either Alberta, if she's close enough or Dimitri when she realizes that he's thrown her under the bus."
Punching Stephen lightly in the arm, Emil almost crowed with excitement. "Fifty bucks then on Dimitri for the punch and Alberta for the tantrum. Brother, she's going to punish you for this when she finds out. You sure you want to do this? I mean, you have such a pretty face, I'd hate to see it messed up."
Shaking my head as I crossed my arms over my chest, I sneered at them in Russian, knowing they would both understand. "I'm so happy that you're having such fun as my expense…remind me to thank you later in the gym when you need a sparring partner and find only my right hook."
Howling at me in laughter, I looked away from them in disgust as Stan approached Alberta and listened to them rather than the mirthful idiots in front of me.
"Are you seriously considering this?"
Pushing in her chair, Alberta glanced back at me for a moment before replying. "Yes. Dimitri has a valid point. Rose needs to learn that as a guardian, protecting her Moroi shouldn't just be dependent on what she already knows or feels or even likes. She needs to take other factors into consideration and adjust her approach as the situation warrants it."
"In theory, I agree with you," Stan argued. "But Hathaway is too damn unpredictable, Alberta. She's a loose cannon. She might take this into her stride and she might not and if she doesn't it's going to throw everyone else off. I think this is a bad idea. We should just stick to the roster that was drawn up last week. Changes like this never work out."
Drawing herself upright, Alberta wiped all expression from her face as she laid down the law. "Your concerns have been noted, Stan, but I think we should run with this and see what happens. You and I know that in all likelihood Rose will be assigned to Vasilisa, but should that change, she needs to learn to adapt. Whatever your personal feelings towards her are, even you can admit that."
Walking away from him, Alberta's eyebrows raised meaningfully as her expression seemed to say…I hope you're right about this, Dimitri, because if you're wrong, he will never let either of us forget it… before she passed me and headed for the door.
Nodding at her once, I glanced over at Stan and felt my hackles rise as the disdainful expression transformed into outright scorn. Only half listening to Alberta order the still laughing Emil and Stephen out of the office as they continued to make bets, I stood my ground as the shorter man marched wrathfully towards me.
Stilling just before he passed me, Stan sneered. "This is going to turn around and bite you in your self-righteous ass, Belikov; mark my words. And when it does and your star pupil lets you down, I'm going to be there to say I told you so every…chance…I…get! You can protect her so far before she falls flat on her face and drags you down with her."
Tossing his empty cup into the bin on the way out, I closed my eyes as my breathing became ragged and filled with fury. Pivoting on my heel, I ripped the duster from the peg and shoved my arms violently through the sleeves as I stalked through the hallways and out into the frigid air of winter; trying to control my rage as his words echoed mockingly through my head.
My belief in Rose…my faith in her passion and determination was not something that I felt easily for others, if ever. I knew, even if none of the others did, that she would not let me down – not on something that was this important and certainly not for something that she had worked so hard to achieve.
Breathing deeply as the cold air filling my lungs did little to quell the heat of the rage expanding in my chest and around my heart; I resumed my watch as I passed once more beneath her window and walked along the upper level of the campus, never for one second doubting that with Rose, she would never fail me...