Chapter Four

Not more than a minute passed before he knew that what Chuck had said wasn't really him. It couldn't be. He just knew there was something wrong. That wasn't right. It just wasn't. Nate couldn't put his finger on it, but something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

"What the fuck?"

He stopped the driver and got out of the car. He began walking, nowhere in particular, he just had to move. His brisk walk soon turned into a run, as the noisy New York streets clamored around him.

So many things were swirling through his head, mainly of the brunet who had just abandoned him. His phone began ringing.

"What do you want?" He answered coarsely.

"Oh Nate, is this a bad time?"

"No, I'm sorry Serena, I just kinda had something happen."

"Well, what is it? Do you feel like talking?"

"That isn't a bad idea, but can I see you in person. I don't want to talk about this over the phone."

"Okay, uh well where are you?"

"On 5th. You?"

"Oh my god, me too. I think I see you."


Nate looked up and saw the leggy blonde staring at him across the street. She pointed to the little coffee shop she was standing in front of.

"I'll be right there. Get a table somewhere private."

"Okay, Nate, Hurry up will you, you don't sound too great."

"I'm not Serena. I'm really not alright."

He hung up, as she disappeared into the cafe. He crossed the street while trying to figure out what exactly he was going to tell her and how best to say it without her freaking out. He walked in and saw her in a booth at the very far end of the cafe.

"Do you want anything?"

"Nate, I already got you a latte. Cinnamon is still your favorite right?"

Nate froze, immediately recalling his first night with Chuck. The first time they were ever really together.

"Oh honey, what's wrong?"


"It has to do with what I need to talk to you about."

"Oh, girl trouble I see. Something wrong with Vanessa? I knew you guys were too good to be true." She tried sounding as light as possible, but knew that something was wrong. She could see it in his cobalt eyes.

"Not exactly. I... It's about... God this is hard. I tried thinking of the best way to tell you..."

"Nate, what is it?"

"It's about..."

"What? Who? Come on Nate, you can tell me."

"Serena, I kinda made up this speech to tell you what's going on with me, and if you interrupt me, I'm afraid I won't be able to spit it out. Okay?"

"I'm all ears. Just take your time."

"So, you know I haven't been really seeing anyone right? Well that's not entirely true. I've been in, am still in love, with somebody?"


"Nate, who?"

"Serena, please-"

"Sorry. Shutting up now."

"I'm in love with... I... I love Chuck."

Silence.

"We've been together for a couple of months now, and like an hour ago, he... He ended it. He said he couldn't be with me because of who he is and I know that what he was saying wasn't him and we've been so happy together and I know he still has feelings for me, but something is wrong. He said he was broken and that I couldn't fix him and I don't want to fix him. I want him the way he is. Because if he's fixed he won't be the Chuck I fell in love with. It's just all fucked up and I don't know if I can live without him."

More silence.

"Help me Serena. Help me get him back. Please."

There was a long pause between the two friends. Nate could practically hear the cogs spinning in the blonde's well kept head.

"Does he know this?"

"Of course he does. I've told him. I tell him every moment of every day."

"Well maybe that wasn't the way to go about things. Maybe you scared him because he didn't think he was worthy of your love."

"Oh my god. I... I thought that's what he wanted. He kept saying how broken he was, so I thought that he needed to hear me say that. I have to go find him."

"Wait, Nate-"

"Thanks for everything," he called out as he left the shop. He didn't quite hear the last thing Serena said. He figured it was just something encouraging. He disappeared into the morning air and headed towards Chuck's apartment.

"He's with Blair right now!"