Yay for daily updates! Thank you to my two reviewers, you both came after I published, and it made me very happy. Reviews inspire me to keep going, knowing is someone is reading. Trust me, I have my favorite fics, and I get pretty excited when I see there has been an update! So to my reviewers, anyone has put a favorite mark on this story, thank you. Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games, or it's characters. Ms. Collins does. I did get a new microwave yesterday, and that I do own.

Peeta's POV:

I felt myself being dragged back to my room after I tried to see Katniss. I should have known that something like that would happen, and I know I had a blank stare when I received my talk from Dr. Aurelius. He explained to me that watching Prim die, shooting Coin, all of this had really damaged her, and no one would be allowed to see her until after the trial. He assured me that he was going to do what he could to help her, save her even, but no one can interfere with what he needed to do.

I felt myself go cold, trying to understand my feelings. Katniss was in danger, as real as any we faced in the Games. My healing process was helping, understanding that the Capitol hijacked my brain and twisted my memories so I would hate her. Hate seems too easy; I didn't just hate her. I wanted to kill her myself. When I first got back to 13, I couldn't even hear her name without flying into a blind rage. Things changed over time, slowly, and while I am nowhere near perfect, I do know that I loved her immensely. I do know that I care for her now, even if it does confuse me. I couldn't let her die, and would die to protect her, I just don't know why.

Days went by, all seemingly the same. Talks with Haymitch, the Doctor, Johanna, Annie. I wanted to make sense of what was going on around me. Johanna was the easiest to talk to. She had no motives to lie to me, she had been in both The Games and The Capitol with me. She certainly didn't hold back her words, but I felt of all the people she would be the most truthful. There was still a lot about Haymitch I didn't feel I could trust, even if we had improved our relationship. I heard my door open and Johanna walked in, taking the seat across the table from me.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" she asked me while taking a roll off my plate. I stopped fighting her a long time ago when she did things like this.

"Honestly? I don't know. It's strange, because part of me feels like I need to grab Katniss and run, while the other part of me feels almost excited at the prospect that she has really gotten herself into trouble she can't just get out of." I looked down at the floor, upset at my confusion.

She stared at me for a while and then slammed her fist on the table to get my attention. "Look, clearly you haven't been told yet, and that's fine. We'll save that for another day, and oh, I can't wait to see those fireworks," she began, "You have to get out of your own head. You have to stop letting Snow win; the old ways win. We fought too hard, you and I, to get out of our hell. We were both victims, but so was she, Peeta. I know you don't know what's real and not real, but I do, because they didn't take my memories, just my pride. So listen. You listen to me now. You felt things for that girl that I don't know I will be ever able to feel for the rest of my life for anything. I saw you both before this happened, before we were captured, and I knew part of what was going on, but you two wouldn't have known anything except for each other. It was almost sickening." She stuffed the roll in her mouth and seemed to angrily chew, watching my face.

"It was lies, Johanna. It was all lies. The first games, where she pretended to love me to get Sponsors. The Tour with the wedding. The baby, even the baby, it was all lies. How am I supposed to think for a moment that any of it was real?"

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. It almost looked like she wanted to hit me. "I can't believe I have to explain this to you. I'll give you the first games, and even the tour. I wasn't with you there and I really can't comment on what was really going on. I will tell you this though, if she did lie, if she didn't care about you at all during those games, she would have just let you die. You do realize that she didn't have to get you and nurse you back, right? You were as good as dead on that riverbank. I don't know if even she knew what she was doing, but she did it out of caring. The tour was fake? You are talking to someone who went through a tour. I know how it goes. To be honest, there were a lot of us who thought you both were playing it up for the cameras. I know Finnick and I both thought it was bullshit."

I looked at her face, her eyes, trying to determine if she was being true. I knew immediately that she was, because it was Johanna. All the people I have come across since this all started, I knew she was not the one to speak lies. We went through too much, have both experienced too much, and I knew that while we would probably never be best friends, I could trust her. I watched her watching me, slowly chewing, as if each bite was an act of defiance.

She swallowed, understanding that I was not going to say anything yet and continued. "Finnick and I, we talked on the beach. He told me what happened when you hit the force field. He told me how she reacted, the immediate reactions. It wasn't someone playing a game to get people to send her parachutes. It was the reaction of losing someone you love. Fin and I, we both lost people, we know the craziness that comes over you when you lose someone close to you, and that is what she did. We watched you both together with new eyes. He told me some of what was actually going on in District 13 while we were having our "extended holiday". She came to him for guidance. Now, you may be wondering why she would go to him for guidance, and I'm going to tell you since I don't think you are smart enough to pick it up on your own. It was because they also took the one person he loved to join us in our beautiful accommodations. He was with her when 13 wanted her to be the mouthpiece and how she could barely perform up to their expectations. Finnick was one of the most insightful people I knew. He could read people like books, and well, she may as well been a children's book by how easy he was able to read her. I was even so lucky to be her roommate after you pulled your stunt by trying to strangle her. She may not have even realized it herself, but it was clear as day to everyone else how much she loved you. How much your hating her hurt her was quite apparent to me. So before you go getting all homicidal again, or rejoicing in her downfall, try to remember that when you do that, you are letting everything you used to stand against win. I'm not one for happy endings, but if any two people were going to be able to get one, it's you two. Don't waste the chance that not many of us will ever have the capability of having."

I looked down at the floor and I heard her exasperated sigh. She pushed the chair back and started to walk to the door. "Wait," I called out to her, stopping her at the door. "Do you really think she loved me? Do you think she loved me in the same way I supposedly loved her?"

I saw her soften for maybe the only the only time I ever knew her. I saw something like a pained expression go across her face, a fleeting memory. "I can't answer that for you. I think the only one who can would be her. Instead I will tell you what I think. I know she loves you, though maybe not in what capacity. I know she was willing to die, to become another pawn, if it meant getting you back in her space. I know you hurt her with words, which can only happen when you actually care about what that person thinks. I heard her talking in her sleep, and your name came up more than anyone else's. If she doesn't love you, she is a hell of a good actress, and I think we both know she doesn't have a career in that field." She opened the door and left me with my thoughts.

I sat in silence for a while, letting her words wash over me over and over again. I started separating my memories, searching for the shiny and ones that weren't shiny. The moments, the ones that the Capitol couldn't have touched was where I found my answer. The bread, thrown to a girl, knowing what would happen to me and not caring. The paintings, all the paintings, and how I had made her come alive the way I saw her. I promised her I wouldn't let the Capitol take me and make me into something that I wasn't, but isn't that what happened? I couldn't let them win. I felt part of it coming back, in the dark recesses of myself. It started so small, so very tiny, a soft light. I felt it grow, comforting me. Soon, some of the shiny memories, small ones, became lost. The cave, the way she felt lying next to me, her smell of earth, playing with her hair while I was feverish and dying. I needed to see her, it became an overwhelming need.

I left my room and started to where I knew she was. There was no way I was going to let Haymitch or anyone drag me away. I could help her. I would do whatever it took to get her out of there and safe, with me.

As I walked by the station in front of the seclusion area, a woman asked me where I was going and if she could help me.

"I am here to see Haymitch Abernathy and Katniss Everdeen." I responded, full of determination.

She looked at me quizzically and picked up the phone. I started to feel the panic, the thought that people were going to come drag me away again. Instead I saw Johanna and Doctor Aurelius come around.

"I told you I wasn't going to miss this one." She said while giving me a smile. I couldn't tell if it was pleasure or sadness, but I knew it was going to be bad news. Did something happen to Katniss? I started to lose sight as rage feelings came over me.

"Peeta," I heard Doctor Aurelius saying as he made some hand motions to a Nurse who appeared. "Peeta, Katniss is okay, but she isn't here."

"What? What do you mean she isn't here?" I asked, each word coming out slowly and precariously. Johanna pulled up a chair and sat down, kicking her feet on the desk.

"Well, she had her trial, and was found not guilty by reason of insanity. We felt the best course of action was to get her out of here to heal, so I have sent her back to 12 with Haymitch." I could hear others coming from behind, but I didn't care. I was too focused on what the Doctor was saying to care.

"She left? Without seeing me?" Shiny images were taking over my mind, fast and furious. Words, flashing before me.

"She didn't have a choice, Peeta. She wasn't allowed to see anyone. We put her on a hovercraft and just moved her back home."

The dark feelings came now and there was no stopping them. Instead of them being focused on Katniss, it was in defense of her. "Let me understand. In order to aid in her healing, you sent her back to her hometown, filled with memories of people who are no longer here; to a town that was completely bombed and destroyed. Are you kidding me?" My voice started to get louder, unstable. "Put me on a hovercraft right now!" I started to yell. Suddenly, I wasn't even sure of what I was yelling. I felt the arms grab me, the prick, and the darkness take me over as I just kept saying the same thing over and over. 12. 12. 12.

I hope you all enjoyed this! Peeta's point of view was a little bit longer, but I think at this point he had a little more to work through. Thank you to all my readers, and please review and let me know your thoughts! Love you all!