Chapter 4

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I read all of my reviews (however few there were) and just to make it clear- this is NOT Wincest! I'm not even sure what Wincest is exactly so…anyhoo I know it has something to do with incessed love and I'm really not into that guys. Sorry to disappoint…yeah I see the Winchesters as brothers. A family. A beautiful bond that cannot be broken by anything, not even death. Possibly the strongest bond this world has ever seen. So, stop making them gay! I mean haven't you guys seen "Monster at the end of this book"? Hello, even the brothers think that's sick! Sheesh! Anyhoo thanks moira4eku for the fact check, I do believe it was Zachariah who said that (and you're right- he is seriously skewed!)- however, Dean and Sam weren't there (he was telling that to Adam back in heaven) so I had to say that Chuck told him (maybe Chuck told him that Zachariah said that?) otherwise how could Dean be thinking something he didn't know? Alrighty roo, let's get back to that story shall we? And thanks so much for the reviews- keep em coming! I wanna know what you guys wanna hear! Give me suggestions, and no matter how crazy, I'll try to fit them in! I'm not sure where the story's gonna go, but I know it's gonna be good! Enjoy! Oh and I am a student so I might not always have time to regularly update- but don't give up on me! It'll be worth the wait!

Dean and Sam got dressed into their usual attire, which helped put Dean's mind at ease. He nearly choked when they gave him his amulet to wear. Of course. This is before I threw it away. Sam noticed it too. Dean made a big show of putting it on.

"I'm so sorry for throwing it away like that…"

Sam shook his head, "No you had every right to. I was the one who would rather have a heaven without his family. I deserved that and more."

"No you don't. It was an awful thing to do and I never meant to give up on you like that. I want you to know that I was just a little upset at the moment, but it didn't mean anything."

Sam nodded. "Didn't it?" he muttered so softly Dean wasn't sure if he'd heard him right. Dean was about to say more when a loud voice called out:

"Alright guys, show time. We're doing scene 2!" Kripke yelled. Sam and Dean walked away, not noticing that their conversation had been picked up by one of the producers. He watched them leave, a shocked look on his face. Man, I wonder what Kripke told them to do!, he thought.

The boys headed over to the set. Their eyes lit up when they saw Bobby.

"Bobby?" Dean asked incredulously. Bobby turned and frowned.

"Shoot, we filming already? I didn't even hear them say action. Wait, am I supposed to be in this scene?"

Dean groaned. Great. He's also an actor. Dammit! At least if Bobby were here, he'd know what to do.

"Ugh sorry, wait which scene are we doing again Jim?" Sam asked casually. Dean looked at Sammy in pride, knowing that his geek boy would have found out everyone's real names simply because of his brains. And being a Winchester, he could lie the pants off anyone.

Jim frowned. "Uhh…isn't it the one where you guys have that long talk? Where Dean finally sets things straight, about how he doesn't want Sam to make the same mistakes?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, recognition dawning on them. "Right! Of course! Thanks Bo- er Jim!"

5 minutes later they were sitting in a very familiar room. The set crew had done a phenomenal job of recreating everything perfectly, Sam noted with approval. It really was amazing how much work and effort went into this, and the brothers felt proud of these guys for spending so much time just to put out a good show. Of course, they weren't too crazy about the plot- having to have lived through all the horrors themselves, Dean was seriously considering finding the writers and strangling them. But it wasn't their fault that they somehow had the ability to pick up the Winchester lives, just like it wasn't Chuck's fault. Why did so many people seem to hone in on the Winchesters, anyhoo? I think it's cause we're awesome. Dean thought to himself, smiling. The cameras were set up, lighting was ready. It was time. The man who had heard their conversation before (his name was Robert Singer) yelled, "Ok ready, and…action!"

He stepped over to watch with the other execs. Leaning in, he whispered, "You guys might wanna watch this." They all looked up at him, then turned their attention to the brothers.

Sam and Dean busied themselves by stocking up ammo. They were supposed to have just left Ruby trapped in the basement. Sam loaded the rifle with rock salt filled shells, then sighed, remembering this conversation as if it had happened yesterday.

"We just gonna let Ruby rot down there?" he asked quietly.

"That's the idea." Dean replied automatically.

"Dean, what if um…what if Ruby's right? What if I can take out Lillith?"

Dean stopped and turned to give him a look.

Sam noticed it and looked away. "Quit looking at me like that."

"So what, you gonna give her the stare and Lillith goes poof?"

"I don't know what Ruby meant. You know, maybe we should just go ask her."

"Sam, you wanted the knife, I got you the knife." He turned around and started filling the duffel.

"Dean, just listen to me for a second. Last time, Lillith snapped her fingers and put 30 demons on our ass. Now all we got's one little knife? Like you said, we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

Dean turned back around from packing. "Well this ain't smart!"

"We got one shot at this Dean, just one! So if there's a sure-fire way, then maybe we should just talk about it." he reasoned.

"Sam! We are not gonna make the same mistake all over again!" Dean said, approaching Sam.

"You said that, but what does that even mean?"

"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean, every time one of us is, is up the creek, the other's begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with, and you know where it's going!" In that moment, the devastating truth of those words hit Sam. Dean had been absolutely dead on then without even knowing it. He looked away shamefully, but continued, "Dean. What're you afraid's gonna happen? This is me, I can handle it." But, Sam realized, he couldn't. He wouldn't handle it. Dean must have been thinking the same thing because he turned to look at Sam doubtfully. Sam took in a deep breath and continued, "And if it'll save you-"

"Why even risk it?" Dean asked, with all sincerity. He knew the answer.

"Because you're my brother." But thinking upon it now, why had Sam risked it? He knew what he was doing was wrong, and yet he continued on. Why? For Dean? It was just an excuse and Sam knew it. That was his excuse, but it didn't make it right. He tried to reason (more with himself), "Because you did the same thing for me."

Dean snorted. "I know. And look how that turned out." Sam looked away guiltily. "All I'm saying…Sammy all I'm saying is you're my weak spot. You are. And I'm yours."

"You don't mean that, we're, we're family."

"I know. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean, what we'll do for eachother, how far we'll go? They're using it against us!"

"So what we stop looking out for each other?"

"No, we stop being martyrs, man! We stop, spreadin it for these demons! We take this knife-" he whipped out Ruby's demon killing knife, "and we go after Lillith our way, the way Dad taught us to. And if we go down…then we go down swinging." Dean looked intently at Sam. "So, whadaya say?" But this time Sam didn't crack the "Eye of the Tiger" joke. He just nodded and said, "Sure.", knowing it was a total lie. Dean knew it too, because he smiled grimly and went, "But you won't leave it alone. I know you won't. I should've known you wouldn't just let it go, that you would set out for vengeance, no matter what the cost."

"How could you know what I was about to do?"

"…Because it's what I would've done. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you're always looking up to me, following in my steps. It's how I know you so well. Your whole life, you've been looking up to me. And I let you down."

"No Dean. You didn't. I did."

"You weren't the one who willingly signed up to die, leaving your baby brother alone in some crap-tastic pre-Apocalyptic world to fend for himself-"

"And you weren't the one who went down a dark and evil road, turning your back on your big brother, and oh, not to mention, STARTING THE DAMN APOCALYPSE! All because you were some screw-up, pathetic junkie who was desperate to feel strong and powerful for once, not realizing he would be destroying the world."

"Sam, for the last time, what happened was not your fault. You didn't know that killing Lillith was the final seal, that instead of stopping Armaggedon, it would just fuel it. You wanna blame someone, then blame Ruby for being a manipulative bitch and poisoning you. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me; I mean, I'm the one who became Alistair's apprentice, broke the first seal, and started this whole damn thing!"

"You didn't know! And nobody could have asked you to hold on that long. You held on for 30 years, Dean! That's more than I ever could have-"
"Dad held on for 100 years!"

"He obviously didn't have as harsh of a hell as you did! You knew as soon as you got down there that there would be a waiting list of demons wanting to get in on the torture. Plus they were probably trying extra hard so that you would break. No, this whole thing is my mistake."

Dean opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by Sam's final retort. "I trusted a demon over my own brother. I set Lucifer free. I'm the reason so many people are dead. Good people, like Ellen and Jo. How can you even stand to look at me?" His voice cracked at the end, and Dean saw tears shining in Sammy's blue eyes. He sighed and pulled Sam down so he was face to face with Dean.

"You wanna know why Sammy? Why I forgave you a long time ago?"

"Dean, if you say because it wasn't my fault-"

"No. Not because of that. I know it was. I know you made a terrible mistake. That's not why. It's because you owned up to your faults. You made up for your mistakes. You knew what you did, and you were prepared to whatever it took to reverse it. Even if it killed you. You willingly sacrificed yourself to save 6 billion people, and you didn't think twice about it. That's why I'm not mad at you anymore Sammy. Because no matter how big of a mess you make, you always take responsibility and clean it up. It was an impossible task, but you did it. And I want you to know, that I am so proud of you. For finding the strength to fight off Lucifer and willingly jump into the cage. That, Sammy, is why I will never give up on you."

Sam sniffed and rubbed his eyes. "You know, I did have a lot of help from my awesome superhero big brother. I couldn't have gained control if it wasn't for your unconditional love and faith in me. Those words, 'I'm not gonna leave you.', that was what brought me back."

Dean grinned, "Hey, I try." But he was abruptly serious. "I also want you to stop beating yourself up about this past year. It wasn't you- I never once believed that."

"Dean, it was me! It was my brain, and my sasquatch frame. I'm the one who nearly killed Bobby-"

"That's not your fault, you didn't have a soul!"

Sam snorted. "That just sounds like another excuse."

"Sam-"

"Dean-"

They both turned away angrily, Sam doing his famous huff and Dean glaring at the ground. Dean sighed and looked out- to find a dozen pairs of shocked eyes on him and Sam. Crap.

Kripke was standing there, mouth agape, trying to find words for the situation, but he could find none.

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how I said we were screwed before?"

"I was there."

"Well, let's just say- I think we just topped our list of 'Winchester's stupidest mistakes'."

"Dean?"

"What?"

"…WE ARE SO SCREWED."

Please review! And puh-leeze tell me what you want to happen next because I'm starting to get stuck! What should the execs' reactions be? And who do you want to be behind this whole thing? Talk to me!