AUTHOR'S NOTE: The chapter's a little longer than usual to make up for the lateness. Thank you to Saiai Angel for beta-reading.

A friend told me the other day that 'rubber' is American English slang for condom. Every time you see the word 'rubber' in this chapter, imagine an eraser and not a condom. Ayuuka and Kaoru are fighting over an eraser not a condom.

Ouran High School Host Club © Hatori Bisco.

How—How did this happen? Tightening her clasp on her notepad and resting her hands on her lap, Ayuuka squeezed her knees together in a failed attempt to shrink away from them as much as possible. Feeling claustrophobia begin to take over, she loosened the neck of her tie a little. They were too close; much too close. She wiped away drops of perspiration from her forehead with the cuff of her sleeve, feeding them a nervous smile.

"Arihiro-ku–u–u–n," a sweet and feminine voice called. In fact, her tone was so sweet that the knot in Ayuuka's stomach tightened as she reluctantly turned stiffly in her seat.

'Yes?' As she held her notebook under her chin, dread slapped her across the head with a Moe Moe Magazine. A female voice resonated in her mind, the hint of a French accent barely distinguishable, "ALWAYS ADDRESS CUSTOMERS AS PRINCESS!" Feverishly Ayuuka squeezed the word 'Princess' in between the 'Yes' and the question mark, leaving a 'Yes, Princess?'

"Would you like some cake?" The three freshman girls asked, each one gesturing with their hands towards slices of scrumptious cake, not noticing her overwrought facade.

Ayuuka's eyes wandered past her customers to gulp at the Female Manager's magnified eyes eagerly watching through her eye spectacles. Treading off or even peering past the line the Otaku had set for her could cause the eruption of Medusa Renge. Ayuuka swallowed, dabbing a napkin to her brow instead of using her sleeve. She didn't like Medusa Renge.

Reminding herself of the consequences of not following the Female Manager's 'suggestions', Ayuuka shuddered, bringing her gaze back to those in front of her. 'Cake..' Forcing herself to blush, she held her notebook up to cover her face, making herself seem shyer. 'Arihiro's sorry. Arhiro doesn't like people watching Arihiro eat. So instead, will you listen to Arihiro play the piano for you all?'

After a silent moment of being stared at by strangely bedazzled expressions, Ayuuka assumed that her act had been successful when they all nodded eagerly each voicing a 'Yes! Of course, Arihiro-kun!'

How bizarre it was to have people of the same gender eyeing you in 'that' kind of way.

Giving them a subtle and nervous smile as she stumbled on her way to the grand piano, Ayuuka was aware of the eyes of the other members of the Host Club 'in hiding,' evaluating her every move.

Her fingers lightly pressed the keys of the piano, forming the melody of Bach's English Suite No. 3, thoughts moving on to how this all happened.

"Kyouya-sempai," came the flat ring of two almost identical voices.

The Shadow King did not reply at first as if contemplating whether or not to speak to them, the constant tapping of the keyboard never reaching a moment of silence. Finally, he let out a soft questioning sound; the kind of sound that would make you think he already knew what you were about to say. "Hmmm? What is it?"

"We're willing to accept the Hobnobber as a host," the twins said in unison, their voices, though a step different, were always in harmony, always in tune with one another. But sometimes little changes aren't a bad thing.

Hikaru sidelong glanced at his twin, as he recalled what Kaoru had requested the night before, Kaoru. What are you thinking?

"E–e–e–eh, so Hiro-chan can be a host too?" said Hunny, loading another spoon of cake into his mouth.

'Eh?' Ayuuka gaped at each person as they spoke, but they all seemed to ignore her as the conversation proceeded, Haruhi's astonished "Eh?" being the only other unnoticed interruption.

"I guess there are no objections?" said Kyouya, finally lifting his head to look at the others.

Hunny swallowed the last mouthful of cake. "Nope."

Mori shook his head.

Ayuuka shot her hand up in objection. Since the age of nine, Ayuuka had never encountered anything truly inconvenient or uncomfortable about acting as her deceased brother for the rest of her life.

Until now, of course.

Pins and needles began to prickle at her raised arm. She had a vague understanding of why Haruhi could do the job and she could not. Haruhi was intellectual, orientated, perceptive and cute whereas she only had talent for piano and nothing else.

It was as simple as that.

As Ayuuka noticed the Shadow King look past and pretend to not see her erected arm, she began to wave frantically. Ayuuka objects, Ayuuka objects! Then realisation hit her like a cat flattened into road kill.

She had no choice.
No say, no voice, whatsoever.

Scrunching up her nose in self-pity, the Host Club's pianist could already feel acceptance dripping into her head.

That's funny… She could swear there was something literally dripping onto her head. Reaching up to touch the top of her head, she felt icy water run down her forehead. Ayuuka directed her gaze to above her head and there, she saw one of the devilish twins hide something behind his back. Her eyebrows knitted together as she fiddled with her fountain pen; she had caught the glimpse of the floral pattern of a teacup. The twin's pranks had dwindled on her but had yet to cease.

Turning back to watch as Kyouya asked (as an afterthought) the neglected figure that was huddled up in a strangely dark corner. "Tamaki, what about you?"

Jumping up as if someone had jabbed him in the ribs, the Host King's recovery was expedite. "AH? ...I guess it's alright. Since, Haruhi doesn't seem to mind him."

"He–e–e–e–eh, you're alright with that Milord?" Tamaki cowered to the left when a ghastly smile popped up on his right.

A second smile, an exact duplicate of the first, came from the opposite side. "If you let them spend anymore time together, Haruhi and that Hobunoda might develop a 'bond', you know?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haruhi glared at the twins, veins surfacing at her temple as Ayuuka observed, suddenly not able to follow the conversation.

Beads of sweat rolled down his face as Tamaki staggered about bringing a hand to his heart. He laid his eyes on Haruhi and Ayuuka sitting beside one another on the lounge. That mute boy turned and asked his daughter, 'Haruhi-kun, is Tamaki-sempai having a heart-attack? Should we call the fire brigade?'

"Just ignore him," she replied, not looking at her so called 'Daddy'. Why would you call the fire brigade if someone has a heart attack?

As Tamaki continued to lurch about in worry about his daughter being stolen away by 'another man' again, the image of Haruhi patting Arihiro on the head triggered something. He recalled finding a mysterious American DVD in his desk called… Farley? No, Barley? No! It was Marley! That's right, Marley & Me!

"That's it, that's it!" Laughing away his nerves, he swung his arms around a confused Hikaru and Kaoru, and said to them, "Fools, this kind of 'bond' is between the daughter and a FAMILY DOG!" Thinking about how the dog, Marley, had been adopted as part of the family, Tamaki didn't even call to mind that Kyouya had been the one who slipped it into his desk when he wasn't looking.

Sweatdrops.

'Arihiro is the family dog?' Sensing her self-esteem plummeting into nothingness, Ayuuka looked at Haruhi for help, expecting her to scold Tamaki, but it never came. Instead Haruhi sat there, her expression blank as she reminisced the time when she was classified a 'Homo,' promoted to 'Dog' and then finally referred to as 'Tamaki's Daughter'.

The twins dissolved into laughter, leaning against each other. "Hahaha! Good one Milord! What kind of dog would he be? A Pomeranian?"

"A Samoyed!"

"No! A Yorkshire Terrier!"

"How about a Calico?"

"Idiot, that's a cat!"

Hunny giggled swinging his dangling legs, excited about the new addition of a 'dog' to their family, "Hey, Takashi, a family dog needs a name, doesn't it?"

"Ah."

As the twins began to argue about what to name the 'dog', Daddy made his way towards his daughter. "Haruhi! Haruhi! What do you think? What would you like to name your new pet?" asked Tamaki, his eyes lit up with excitement. Putting an arm around her narrow shoulders, gesturing towards Ayuuka as he said 'pet'.

Pinching the soft flesh of his arm until he cried out in pain and drawed away from contact with her, Haruhi glowered at him before touching her lips and racking her brains for a name, until finally she said slowly, "If it's for a dog, it'd have to be Won Ton."

The same thought crossed the rest of the host club's minds. WHY IS IT ALWAYS A FOOD?

Suddenly, teacups began to clatter as the ground rumbled, either signaling the approach of an earthquake or the over-dramatic entrance of the Host Club's female manager. "Not enough, not enough, I say! You Host Club members are still poor at analyzing characters!" reprimanded Renge as she revolved on a round platform, her hands on her hips. Quickly she added in a lovey-dovey tone, "Of course, that doesn't include you Haruhi-kun. Won Ton is a perfect name."

Ayuuka made a subdued squeaking noise that no one except Kyouya seemed to hear.

"Clearly, Arihiro-kun would be a CHIHUAHUA!" said Renge in a matter-of-fact tone as she pointed at Ayuuka's grief stricken face.

"...Chihuahua...?" they all echoed, considering the idea. Whilst some, such as the twins, murmured. "…Won Ton is a perfect name…?

'Chibaba...? What is that Kyouya-sempai?' she asked. Ayuuka cast him a anxious look (Renge and her Otakuness scared her), resisting the urge to hide behind the Shadow King as a child would hide their face in their mother's skirt. Except of course, Kyouya was most certainly not her mother, and she doubted he would ever wear a skirt, let alone let her hide her face in it.

"Chihuahua," his glasses flashed as he corrected her. "A small dog of a smooth-haired, large-eyed breed originating in Mexico."

'But Arihiro doesn't have big eyes... And Ayuuka isn't Mexican,' pouted Ayuuka. Once again, no one paid attention to her.

Liking and having approved of Renge's contribution, Tamaki pointed his finger at Ayuuka so violently, she had tripped over on her feet from dodging. "From this day forward I dub the Hobnobber, WON TON THE CHIHUAHUA!" declared the Host Club leader.

The twins danced about behind him backing him up. "Won Ton the Chihuahua! Won Ton the Chihuahua! Won Ton the Chihuahua!"

Clearing his throat, Kyouya shifted his glasses further up his nose, he spoke to Renge, "More importantly, we have yet to decide upon Arihiro's 'type'."

"Hohohohoho, I've had this prepared since the day Arihiro-kun transferrred! …A clumsy host member who cannot speak, whom always carries a notebook and pen, who blushes when spoken to; introducing the 'SHY-TYPE' host!" Haruhi could see the fire burning in her gleaming eyes as Renge grew more and more thrilled; the brunette couldn't help but sweatdrop.

In a way that Ayuuka or anyone couldn't possibly ever understand, an image of the 'Shy-type' host was transmitted to the other members. Impressed by the mental picture given to them by Renge, they applauded, letting out a simultaneous, why-didn't-we-think-of-that "Ahhh!".

"Now, for the training!" Renge's eyes glinted. Arihiro gulped, already seeing Renge's hair of writhing snakes.

Yes, that's right... That's how it happened...
Ayuuka felt her fingers start to slow down as the piece came to a close.

Another exhausting day has ended. Ayuuka probably won't be able to sleep to— Unaware of how heavy her eyelids felt, Ayuuka would probably awaken at sunrise with a sprig of a cowlick sticking up on the side of her head, wondering, How did I fall asleep?

Kicking at the sheets tangled around her legs, Ayuuka rolled over in her sleep, dribbling onto her fluffy pillow as she wrapped her arms around it. How rare of her to dream—let alone of the past.

"Ayuuka-chan! I'm leaving now! Do you mind closing the window in Arihiro's room for me? It's going to be chilly tonight." Holding the door ajar just enough to poke her head through, the nine-year old could feel the wintry air biting her cheeks, tinging them pink as she stared at the middle-aged woman impassively.

"Okay. Have a nice night, Keiko-san," said Ayuuka, as she started to shut the door.

"Wait!" The maid shoved her numb hands in between the door and the doorframe, nearly jamming her fingers. Worried for the young master Arihiro, the maid asked her for reassurance, "Promise you won't forget?"

Ayuuka merely smiled at the woman, not saying a word, her small hands still secured around the brass knob.

Returning the smile, Keiko beamed at her, letting go of the door. "Well... See you later!" Ayuuka watched as the woman gave her one last wave before setting off down the front steps, and down the footpath, growing farther and farther away, until finally, she was engulfed by the darkness of night and the drifting of snowflakes. Clicking the door shut, Ayuuka climbed the steps two at a time, slipping back into the familiar warmth of her own bed.

She understood. Arihiro had just recovered from a cold, so leaving the window open in this kind of bitter weather could guarantee that he would get pneumonia. But she hadn't promised the maid anything.

That maid was sacked the next morning.

If it weren't for the fact that that exact moment was the last school hour of the last school day of the week, he would have been listening to the teacher's lecture, not gazing at the figure seated behind Haruhi through his peripheral vision. Ayuuka's eyes were locked onto the withered face of the teacher, and from the glazed over look in her eyes, Kaoru could tell that her mind was dawdling again.

There always seemed to be something fascinating about Ayuuka that you could stare at; making her the perfect time killer. Sometimes she'd have cowlicks on standing up on the back of her head or her shoes didn't match or there'd be indents in her cheek from sleeping on the spiral binder of notebook. It was always something worth laughing at.

Today the absence of her emerald fountain pen and thick notepad seemed so alien that she might as well had come to school without sporting her trousers. Instead she had a black texta glued to her hand (figuratively, this time), her right sleeve pulled up, exposing milky skin which had been marred by scribbles of words that she had usually jotted down into her notebook. Kaoru couldn't imagine why but he'd long ago given up trying to fathom why Ayuuka did anything she did.

Subtly rolling up the sleeve of his school blazer, Kaoru seized a black marker. Pretending to support his head with his arm, he twirled his wrist awkwardly so that the words he'd written onto the back of his forearm could be read by someone behind him. Kaoru wondered if she'd notice that he'd written a question for her. 'Why are you writing on your arm today?'

Immediately he felt stupid. Stupid for scrawling on his arm, doubting that someone so scatterbrained as her would ever realise, let alone read, what he had marked on his own arm. Just as he was about to twist his arm back into a more natural and comfortable position, Ayuuka leaned forward on her desk, her bare arm dangling over the side farther than necessary for a little stretch but perfect for him to read the small text that ran from her wrist to halfway up her forearm. 'Arihiro is trying to save trees. Why is Kaoru-kun writing on his arm?'

Kaoru grinned, astonished that she had noticed the message on his arm. Had she been watching him from the beginning?

Waiting until the teacher turned to write on the chalkboard, Kaoru composed his reply before returning to his position with his head resting in his arm, so that she'd be able to read. 'I'm bored. This stuff is too easy.'

'Kaoru-kun's amazing. This stuff doesn't make sense to Arihiro at all.'

'If it doesn't make sense, then pay attention, idiot.' Kaoru massaged his sore neck. It probably ached because he was craning his neck to look like he was staring out the window when he was actually trying to peer at the person he was 'talking' to.

'It doesn't go into Arihiro's brain, whether Arihiro listens or not.'

'Then get a tutor.'

Kaoru couldn't help but smile as he could at the very edge of his sight, see Ayuuka considering his words for a moment before opening her mouth in a silent 'Ah!' before ducking her head down to write on the little white space she had left. She must have an idea. He could imagine a light bulb gleaming on above her head.

'Kaoru-kun, will you be my tutor?'

Why did I agree to this? Kaoru found himself sighing on a Saturday morning as he sank into the exact same seat he had settled himself in about a week ago when he had personally come to apologise. Putting his head in his hands, he shook his head; the expanse of vibrant colours in the greenhouse was giving him a headache. But that wasn't the only cause. "Okay. Let's start with your worst subject."

Ayuuka held up her notepad under her chin as she always had. 'Ayuuka's worst subject is probably English.' Her attempt to save trees had ended in complete failure. Solely because she had used up all the free space on her arms. Not necessarily because of the reality that proved that she made little impact in lessening the amount of deforestation around the world.

"I see, then we—" Kaoru's eyebrows knitted together, his amber eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Weren't you home schooled in America?"

'Yep.'

"Then how can English be your worst subject?"

'Ayuuka doesn't know, but Ayuuka got a 7% in the quiz yesterday.'

"You should just hire someone else to tutor you." Kaoru massaged his temples. He already felt like this was impossible. "Haruhi might do it or Renge or Hunny-sempai and Mori-sempai or even Milord or Kyouya-sempai or Hikaru." He paused before adding an afterthought, "Maybe not Hikaru."

Ayuuka shook her head, listing down reasons in reply.
'Kyouya-sempai was Ayuuka's second choice. But he said he was busy today.
Tamaki-sempai gets off track sometimes.
Hikaru doesn't like Ayuuka.
Renge is an Otaku, which is very scary and will lead to the rise of Medusa.
When Haruhi explains it, Ayuuka can't understand.
Hunny-sempai eats cake.
And Mori-sempai is a robot.'

Wanting to open his mouth to disagree, Kaoru, to his surprise, gave her a steady nod—what she had written made sense for once. Inspecting the plant resting on the desk, the label 'Mr. Yellow' scrawled along the rim in texta, Kaoru patiently waited for her to finish writing her next memo. 'Ayuuka thought Kaoru would say that so Ayuuka thought that if Ayuuka doesn't improve in the next quiz on Thursday then Ayuuka will hire a professional, 'kay?'

Considering this for a moment, he decided. "You have to get 25% or over. Deal?"

"Deal." Nodding gleefully, Ayuuka fumbled with the clasp of her school bag. Struggling to unfasten it, the flap suddenly jerked open, her bag's contents spilling all over the floor. Kaoru involuntarily stepped back while Ayuuka froze on the spot.

As Kaoru scanned over the items littering the ground, he sweat dropped, Is that a coat hanger?

After a drawn-out moment of looking stunned, Ayuuka swept down and frantically stuffed as much as she could back into her bag.

"What is this stuff?" he asked, giving her a weird look as he carefully plucked up what seemed to be a plastic spork. Her face turned pink as she snatched it from his hand and hastily shoved it back where it had come from. Spotting the lollipop that Kaoru had given her in place of Hikaru, he guessed. "A collection of junk you find interesting?"

She glanced up at him from where she kneeled at his feet, "As Ayuuka thought, Kaoru-kun's amazing. How did you know?"

Kaoru sweat dropped. Is she serious? Noticing her straighten up, he gestured at a familiar looking object, and said, "You missed one."

Straightening up, she followed his gaze to the rubber he had once thrown at her; Ayuuka's body turned rigid as she stared at it with a stony expression. Kaoru sweat dropped. Is she gonna pick it up or not?

Kaoru sighed, bending over to pick it up only to feel a sharp pain crack across his nose. He glared at Ayuuka, who had bent down at the same time to retrieve the item, only to unintentionally head butt him in the face.

This time, making sure that he was the only one bending over, he curled his long fingers around what he now comprehended as an eraser. Rubbing his nose, he scolded her lightly, "Jeez, if you're gonna pick it up then don't stare at it for so long."

A pouting Ayuuka pressed both her hands to the tender spot on her head in failed attempt to ease the searing, mumbling a soft apology, "Sorry…"

Able to scrutinize the rubber more closely, he realized that it wasn't just any rubber. "Isn't this my rubber?"

She didn't reply at first, her eyes on the rubber but suddenly she lunged for it, "No, it's Ayuuka's!"

Stretching his arm out to pull it away, he pointed out, "It has my name on it." Ayuuka's face flushed in such an amusing manner, Kaoru had to put his other hand to his mouth to contain his urge to laugh.

Each time she springed up to have him pull 'her' rubber away she would give out a strained grunt. And with several more attempts at retrieving her newfound treasure, Ayuuka's desperate grunting was replaced with "Gimme!"

She leaped up. "Gimme!" He pulled his arm up higher.

She reached up again. "Gimme!" He stretched up again.

Ayuuka sprung up once again, becoming aware of the fact that her face was so close to his that she could touch him, smell the scent of lavender soap on him, kiss him. Though his cheeks flushed a little, it didn't restrict him from pulling the rubber away from her again.

Ceasing her jumping, Ayuuka did her best in catching her breath as Kaoru chose that exact moment to laugh. Still grinning as he watched her glare at his feet, pouting, he held out the rubber to her, "Here." Answering her questioning look, he clarified, "Since it's already been a week, I've already got a new one, so I don't need this one anymore."

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion as she glared at his outstretched hand, she pursed her lips in determination. Hesitantly she reached out her frigid fingertips brushing his warm ones as she took the rubber from him. With grateful crocodile tears streaming down her face from her eyes (and nose), she wrote a cursive 'Thank you' in English before shuffling back to her piano bench.

"If you know 'Thank you' in English then you should at least know what to say when someone asks you, 'What is your name?'" He tested her as he too sunk back into his armchair.

"Oh! Ayuuka knows!" Shifting in her seat, she cleared her throat. "You're meant to say, 'Good Afternoon!'"

Swinging her legs back and forth, Ayuuka goggled at Kaoru's face. She recalled seeing the same expression on the Housekeeper's face when Ayuuka had let her try one of the cookies she had once baked. The thirteen year-old girl at the time, never quite understood why the Housekeeper went on sick leave afterwards.

"Did Ayuuka get it correct?" she asked.

Kaoru slapped the English textbook back onto the table, "You know what? Let's start with Maths first."

Several heads turned to watch as the door creaked open, revealing one of the customers from earlier that day. "Hmm? What's wrong Princess? We're already closed for the day," asked Tamaki, flitting her a charming smile. His jaw dropped when the girl sauntered past him without a second glance.

"I have a request. For Arihiro-kun." she said slowly. Long locks of raven curtained her face as she seemed to take a sudden interest in her shoes.

'A request?' Ayuuka cocked her head as she squatted down to look up at the girl's face, recognising her as one of the three loyal designators for the 'Shy-type'.

Her bow was so sudden and so unexpected, Ayuuka jumped back to avoid any collision, subconciously rubbing the tender bruise on her head. "I like you. Please go out with me."

Twisting her head around unnaturally, Ayuuka looked at the others for help, only to find her heart drop to her stomach. Funny how a few days ago the Host Club had treated her like a piece of walking furniture which had no say in anything; yet today, they were waving their hands at her, urging her to be the one to speak her opinion. Had her silent cries of help reached no one?

Ayuuka pouted.

Resting her notepad against her hip, she didn't get to write anything further than 'Arihiro's sorry—' when her designator dipped her head again, even lower this time, hands clenched into trembling fists by her sides. "Even if it's only for a month, three weeks, two weeks; please be my boyfriend!"