(A/N: Rated M for mature content and language.
Thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews.
Warnings: All that other stuff... And a lil bit o' smut.
Enjoy.)
Dean was a nervous wreck. And a little pissed... but he was trying his damnedest not to take it out on his son. It wasn't Sam's fault he was obsessing over... things with Cas and driving himself crazy. He stared down at the broken lamp, rubbing at his jaw as he tried to sort out the appropriate response for the situation.
Yelling was out because he didn't really want to yell at Sammy; accidents happened all the damn time and he'd be yelling to just yell. So. Not cool.
Not yelling seemed just as out because you were supposed to do that sorta shit when kids broke stuff. Right? Otherwise, Sam didn't learn rules and boundaries and then his awesome, sweet kid could turn into a sociopath scumbag. Or a murderer. Or one of those guys that wore one of those douche-y floppy hats and too-big glasses. Or... something.
He looked up and noticed his son staring at the mess, standing tall but still slumping somehow as he fidgeted nervously and avoided all eye contact. Well that freakin' sucked; he didn't wanna be that dad that made his kid scared of him, for crying out loud. He sighed loud and long, nudging a large shard of whatever with the toe of his boot. It was a freakin' ugly lamp, anyway. He bought it at Goodwill before Sammy was even born. It wasn't priceless and he actually hated the damn thing because it wobbled and burned bulbs out at least once a week.
"This is why we can't have nice things, Sammy," Dean said lightly, making sure he didn't look or sound angry, studying the mess on the floor.
Sam looked up, confused.
Dean sidled closer to where Sam was standing, looking confused and wary on top of sorry as hell. "It's no big deal, buddy. I'm just glad you didn't cut yourself on any of the pieces," he added, honestly relieved. God knows what Sammy coulda caught from that lamp, now that he thought about it; Hep C or sepsis or something. He edges Sam away from the broken pieces, gently urging him back with a gentle pressure on one tiny, bony shoulder.
He felt some of his earlier nerves drain out when Sam looked up at him, wide-eyed. There was curiosity there now instead of wariness and confusion. He didn't know what else to say; Sam already knew he fucked up and it felt like pouring salt in the wound to keep harping on about it. And telling the kid not to run through the house was like telling Sam not to read; so not gonna happen.
Dean settled on a shoulder squeeze and a "Be more careful, OK?"
"Yeah, I will. Sorry, dad," Sam said, looking back at the broken lamp again. He made a face, feeling bad and guilty. "Maybe we could glue it?"
Dean tried not to grimace, he really did. The very idea of saving the piece of junk... He kinda wanted to admit Sam might've done them both a favor but that seemed like a no-go situation, too. "Nah. You can't ever get all the little pieces in right."
"It's like a puzzle, dad!" Sam said brightly. He carefully looked at the pieces. "No little pieces," he said, looking up at his dad hopefully. If they could glue it, he wouldn't feel bad anymore. He liked puzzles, he could do 'em easy.
Dean muttered under his breath and tried to think of a way out of this new hell. If he said no, he was basically saying it was cool Sammy went around and broke shit, wasn't it? If he said yes, they were stuck gluing the thing back together and keeping it forever until Sam got married and he could give it away as a honeymoon gift or something. As tempting as that was...
"Nah, no glue."
Sam pouted and edged away from the mess with a sad sigh. "Yeah, OK. Sorry, dad."
"It's OK, Sammy. Just—You know, be careful, OK?" Sam nodded and rushed off towards his room, slowing down half-way there as he remembered to 'be careful'. Dean just went into the kitchen, hoping he had the proper equipment for cleaning up broken... whatever the lamp was made out of. A few minutes later and he was knotting a trash bag and carelessly tossing it into the trashcan outside. He jumped when his phone rang.
He threw the lid back on the trashcan while he fished his phone from his pocket, smiling involuntarily when he saw the ID. He was poking and sliding the green bar, still smiling like a dork, before it got a chance to ring again. "Hey, Cas."
"Hello, Dean."
Dean tilted his phone up and prayed Cas didn't catch the stupid little sound he made. He still didn't know how two words got him all hot and bothered... Besides Cas' fucking phone sex voice, anyway. He cleared his throat, "What's up?" It was quiet for awhile and Dean was confused and then concerned when there was no response. He checked the display and his brows furrowed; the call wasn't dropped. "Cas? Still there?"
"Yes. Sorry," Castiel said softly. He hadn't any reason to call Dean. And admitting he just wanted to hear the other man's voice seemed... wrong. Speaking about their children was the safest bet, most likely, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. "I got distracted." He heard Dean breath into the phone, curiously sounding relieved, and he drummed his fingers on his knee.
"It's fine, Cas. I just thought the call got dumped, s'all."
Castiel shook his head and flushed when he remembered such gestures were pointless on a phone. "No, I— No."
"You alright, Cas?"
Castiel huffed softly, annoyed and warmed in equal parts by the concern. "Yes."
Dean waited for more but there was only the soft sounds of Cas' breathing and something that sounded like Gabe in the background re-enacting a scene from Toy Story or something that required lots of yelling about Buzz Lightyear saving the day. It was oddly comfortable to just sit and listen for a few moments. He settled himself on the front step, stretching his legs out as he listened to the quiet phone. The silent stretched out and he huffed a soft laugh; Cas really was terrible at this talking shit. "So—"
"Sorry, Dean, I shouldn't have called if I had nothing to say."
Dean chuckled and leaned back, propping himself up on an elbow. "It's fine, Cas. Seriously. Don't sweat it. Did you just wanna talk?" He nearly groaned and pinched his face for being such a girl.
"About what?"
Dean snickered at the soft, slightly panic filled voice. "Whatever, man. I'm easy." He heard Cas make a sound and he grinned. A sudden thought occurred to him and he sat up, looking behind himself to make sure Sam wasn't lurking around. "Very easy," he said lowly, feeling like a complete cornball. It was worth it when Cas made that sound again, like a hitched, sucked in breath kinda sound. Unfortunately, it was followed by a laugh and he frowned. "What?"
"Nothing, Dean. I'm sorry," Castiel said, truly regretting the wasted moment. There was no mistaking that earlier tone but the very idea of him trying to engage in anything remotely close to phone sex was laughable. "As you were saying?" he prompted, near the point of praying Dean would continue. He didn't know what he'd do, but he'd manage...
Dean snorted and flopped onto his back, covering his face with his elbow. Real smooth... "Nothing," he muttered. "Wanna hang out later? Sam's been geeking out over the idea of laser tag?" He mostly just needed something else to say, but it was true. Plus, the idea of his kid weighed down in laser tag gear, running around with a gun as he tried to shoot Gabe and Cas was kind of adorable. Not that he'd admit that aloud.
"Laser tag?" Castiel murmured uncertainly. As Dean explained he found himself nodding again. "Gabriel would enjoy that." Dean's excitement over the idea was enough to have him agreeing, even if the idea of guns and lasers wasn't exactly his idea of fun. "Is eye protection standard?"
Dean snickered, rubbing his face and shaking his head. "I dunno, man. Probably." He smiled when Cas made a soft huffing noise, probably already regretting his earlier acceptance. He checked the time; it was early enough they could do lunch and laser tag. "So. How's noon sound? We could do lunch before if you want?"
Of course Cas agreed and he was back inside, calling for Sam as soon as he hung up. Sam burst out of his room, his earlier sulk about the lamp completely forgotten, the moment he said 'laser tag'.
: -:- :
"Did you— Did you just ask me out?" Castiel asked slowly. The laser tag place was noisy but even then, he had heard Dean's question; he was just shocked.
Dean nodded, swallowing thickly as he cupped and squeezed the back of his neck feeling all kinds of awkward and nervous. Cas was staring at him; that squinty-eyed, cocked-head look the other man got when he was trying to puzzle something out. He wanted to be annoyed he was being so thoroughly studied—questioned—but he also knew he had it coming. He didn't really blame Cas for being wary.
An actual date was kind of a big deal. Well, a huge deal, really. But he wanted to. Cas had to see that...
"Yeah," he finally said, trying not to nod like a demented bobble-head. "I just did. So...?" He resisted the urge to fidget like Sammy when he needed the bathroom as he waited for Cas to say something. The intense stare was making the silence feel a little heavy... "So. Uh. Do ya? Wanna go? Uh. Out. With me?" Holy shit, he was pathetic.
Castiel hummed softly and shifted closer to Dean. It was kind of adorable to see the man looking so uncertain. Uncool, as it were. It was a side of Dean he rarely saw and it was oddly endearing. "Of course I will, Dean." He smiled when Dean tried (and mostly failed) to suppress a shiver. Since he realized the reaction Dean had to certain words (or phrases) he said and how he said them, he made sure to do it often. Subtly, of course.
"Awesome," Dean breathed, releasing a pent up breath in relief. He grinned and leaned closer, pecking a quick kiss on Cas' lips. He kept it quick because otherwise he'd be yanking Cas against him by his trench coat lapels and he did not need the distraction of a fuck-hot make-out session right now. "I'm gonna take you to a carnival."
Castiel was still reeling in shock from Dean kissing him in public, even if it was a short, light brush of lips. It took a moment for the words to filter in. He blinked a few times and cocked his head to the side slightly. "Carnival?"
"Yeah... A carnival. There's one a few minutes away... You said you've never been to one, right?" Dean asked, suddenly nervous Cas would think the idea was stupid and juvenile. He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to think of something better. Something that was totally adult and not stupid. He felt panic squirm through him when he couldn't. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd gone on a date, for fuck's sake. Oh Jesus on a cracker, he was fucking hopeless...
Castiel nodded, warmth going through him to realize Dean remembered silly little details like that. Dean was staring at him warily and he stepped closer, ignoring the look Dean gave when he intruded into his personal space, and gently squeezed Dean's arm. "Alright, that sounds fun. What about the boys? They'll be crushed they missed out," he added, only feeling slight reluctance. It was meant to be a date date, not a play date. But he knew the boys would enjoy themselves as well. Gabriel would probably gorge himself on cotton candy...
"They can get their own damn dates," Dean said with a grin, his shoulders relaxing. He waved a hand when Cas' eyes narrowed at him. "But seriously, I figured they could come, too." He knew Sam would whine about missing a carnival. And he wasn't really in the mood for that. "But I'm dropping 'em off with Benny around nine." He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets when Cas positively beamed at him, a big ass gummy smile on his face that scrunched up his nose and did all sorts of things to his insides. Son of a bitch... Not fair.
They managed to get Gabe and Sam away from the small arcade area, mostly by refusing to get more tokens. By the time they got to the car, both boys were blinking slow and lazy, slumping over in their booster seats as soon as they were buckled in. Dean looked at Cas over the car, tapping the metal roof as he thought. Was tonight too soon? Maybe they should make it tomorrow night?
"Tonight will be fine," Castiel said, smiling a little. He got into the passenger seat and waited for Dean to get behind the wheel. He got the impression the other man had been thinking aloud and not actually asking him but he still felt obliged to answer him. "When did you want to go?"
Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He didn't really wanna wait, but Sam was drooling already and a bit of time to think and calm down would help a lot. "Uh, how 'bout six?" Cas nodded and he nodded back. Six was good. Six it was. He started the car and dropped Cas and Gabe off, aware of Cas sitting closer than he usually did. It was kinda distracting, but in a good way.
Before Cas could get out, he leaned over for a kiss. It was a quick one, but he made sure he grabbed Cas face and really laid one on him. He grinned when Cas blinked at him, looking surprised but pleased. The full smile Cas wore as he carefully unbuckled and slung a sleeping Gabe over his shoulder and headed inside, did all sorts of good things to him.
...
The carnival had been fun. It almost made the three hours between asking Cas and picking him (and Gabe) up that Dean spent spazzing out and sweating seem really dumb and pointless. Watching Cas slide into the passenger seat in jeans and a over-sized hoodie had his thoughts going from 'I'm a freakin' loser' to 'Oh my god, lookit dat ass' in about 5 seconds. Cas' goofy smile helped, too.
Dean felt like a complete dork (but still proud and couldn't help preening like a cave-man) when he won a stuffed animal and gave it to Cas, grinning like an idiot when Cas gently took it with a smile and stroked the cheap fake-fur gently. Of course, then he had to win one for Gabe and Sam, too. The teenager giving out the stuffed bees was not amused he lost three of the damn things right after another. Like he gave a shit; Sammy looked at him like he was Captain American personified, so he was pretty stoked.
And Cas was giving him a look that promised things. Awesome things.
After a few more rigged games and some rides (as well as both boys throwing up a vile combination of funnel cake, blue sno-cone, and cotton candy no one should ever see), it was time to call it a night.
By the time they were dropping the boys off with Benny, both were passed out in their booster seats again and slumped awkwardly, each clutching their bees by an iridescent wing in their grubby hand. He wished he could hose 'em off first but it wasn't worth waking them up. He eased Sam out first, thanking anyone listening his kid slept like a rock, and made his way towards the house. The door opened before he had to fumble for his keys and he gave Benny a grateful smile.
"Thanks, man," Dean said quietly, brushing by Benny and headed towards Sam's room.
Benny held onto the door, bending over a little and trying to catch a peek of Dean's date. But he could only make out a vague outline in the passenger seat of Dean's car. Bummer. He'd heard things about this Cas and he was itching with curiosity. He closed the door before Dean could catch him peeking and followed after the other man, hovering in the doorway to Sam's room.
"No problem, brother. Happy to crash and put some indecent memories in your memory foam," he said with a leering grin. He stifled a laugh in his fist, not wanting to wake Sam, when Dean aimed the pissiest face at him. One of the perks of staying at Dean's with the boys was indeed the comfortable bed.
"Ew, man! No," Dean hissed in a whisper and groaned softly. He gently eased Sam into his bed, making sure there was enough room for Gabe. Even if he stuck the kid on the floor with an air mattress, he ended up crowded in Sammy's bed. He smoothed the hair off Sam's forehead and snuck in a quick kiss before he stood and eyed Benny seriously. "But, really. I appreciate it, man."
Benny waved him off, smiling a little. "It ain't like you call in for a favor often. I'm just happy to see you get out there, man." He nodded when Dean eyed him, an expression on his face that was somehow curious and wary at the same time. He nearly rolled his eyes at the fool.
"Uh. Thanks?" Dean had no idea how to respond to that so he just went out and got Gabe while Benny figured out how to work his DVR. He tucked Gabe in and went back out to join Benny, hands in his pockets again. "Uh. So. I'll be home later. Or. Uh. Tomorrow," he said awkwardly. It was as close he was gonna get to admitting he was probably going to be spending the night with Cas.
Maybe. But, first date and all, he wasn't expecting anything serious—Cas just didn't seem the type.
Benny slowly turned towards Dean and grinned. "Yeah, I sorta figured that out already."
"Yeah. Right. I'm gonna... uh. Go."
Benny waved with a laugh but Dean was already hurrying out the door. He flopped onto the sofa and figured he'd have this DVR thing figured out in no time.
Dean slid back behind the wheel and stared out the windshield for a few moments. He had no idea what to do now. What the hell did two guys even do on a date? He glanced at Cas, unsurprised to find the other man sitting quietly and merely looking back at him. He was tempted to ask what Cas wanted to do now, but the whole date thing was his idea, so he should decide. Right?
"Wanna get a drink?" Dean asked, suddenly nervous again. When the boys had been around, it had been easier to forget he was on an actual date with Cas. Now, though... Now it wasn't so easy to overlook that fact. Not with Cas sitting there in jeans and a hoodie instead of his accountant pants and goofy trench coat (though, he did bring it). "Or maybe something to eat?"
He didn't know about Cas, but funnel cake and corn dogs didn't really fill him up.
Castiel considered the options, pursing his lips a little. "I could eat," he offered with a small shrug. He shifted closer to Dean and slowly put a hand on his knee, hoping to ease Dean's obvious nerves. Not that he was going to say as much aloud; Dean would deny it until he was blue in the face and he really did not want to waste time with useless bickering.
"Yeah, OK," Dean said, clearing his throat. He relaxed a little under Cas' hand, very aware of the other man's thumb making little random patterns on the inside of his knee. By the time they were pulling up to the Roadhouse, he was completely at ease and Cas' hand was now on his upper thigh. He wondered how much higher that hand would go if they kept driving...
He paused for only a moment when he saw the place was busy, suddenly nervous about being seen with Cas. He eyed the other man from the corner of his eye and felt a dick all over again when Cas gave him that understanding look and backed off. He huffed softly and grabbed Cas by a belt loop. "Sorry," he murmured, pulling Cas towards the bar with a determined stride. Really, if anything, people were gonna be jealous they weren't showing up with a guy like Cas.
He held the door for Cas and couldn't helping rolling his eyes when Jo looked up from mixing something green and frothy, her sixth sense kicking in the moment he walked in, and gave him a shit-eating grin.
"We could sit at a booth," Castiel offered, pointing to a few tables along the walls. Out of the way and dimly lit. Partly for privacy and partly so Dean wouldn't feel so self-conscious. He was already over the way Dean paused and tensed earlier; he knew this was all new to Dean. He noticed a wide, smug smile on a blond woman's face as she worked behind a bar and his eyebrows rose.
Dean shook his head and headed towards the bar, sliding onto a stool. He gently yanked Cas down onto the one next to him before he finally let go of the man's belt loop. Of course, Jo was right there, grinning at him and making lewd eyebrow movements before they even settled. "Hey, Jo. This is Cas," he said, cocking his head towards Cas.
"Castiel," Castiel gently corrected and offered a hand. The blonde woman, Jo, took it, her smile warming and to something less... shark like. He itched to ask how she knew Dean. She seemed to know him very well, if the way she was smacking at him and calling him 'stud' or something was an indication. He should probably be relieved at her acceptance, not annoyed she was overly familiar...
Dean looked between Jo and Cas, laughing and bumping Cas' shoulder with his when he saw the narrowed blue eyes in smite mode. "Jo's a friend of mine. For like, I dunno... a hundred years?" he said, looking towards Jo for confirmation. "She's like the little sister I never wanted," he said with a bright smile.
"I see," Castiel said, relaxing despite himself. He did notice Jo's interaction with Dean was less intimate and more affectionate. Well, the kind of affection that includes punches, noogies and name-calling, apparently. As well as the two beers appearing without either of the ordering. Dean tipped his towards Jo in silent thanks. When he nodded his own thanks, Jo disappeared without a word and he couldn't help looking to Dean for an explanation.
Had he offended her? He had intended to get along with Dean's friends, not alienate them within moments of meeting them.
"Oh, don't worry, Cas, she'll be back," Dean said. He didn't even know if he was happy or irritated by that... It wasn't like he could tell her to fuck off; she was working, for cryin' out loud. Cas still looked confused, his fingers tightly wrapped around his beer. "She's just gonna put in our food order."
Castiel's brow wrinkled. "I don't recall ordering anything."
"Nope," Dean said with a smile. "But, she knows what we want."
Castiel merely hummed, trusting Dean's friend. When two plates piled with bacon cheeseburgers and crispy fries came out he had to smile. Jo had indeed known what they wanted. "Thank you," he said as he pulled his plate closer. He got two bites in before he could no longer ignore Jo's staring. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and gave her his attention, "Yes?" Was she waiting for a compliment on the food?
"Nothing," Jo said, shrugging and proceeded to keep herself busy with moving a rag around on the bar. She hadn't meant to be caught staring but it was one thing to hear about Cas and then to see him was something else all together. He was smokin' hot, polite and he ate like a champ. She was half tempted to joke that Dean didn't deserve him. But he really did, so she just offered a smile and slipped further down the bar when it became obvious her staring was making her look like some creeper. Even Dean glared at her, throwing a french fry for good measure. At least he didn't slather it in ketchup first...
Dean blinked a few times, still holding half of his burger, when he realized Cas was done. He'd inhaled that freakin' thing. "Did you even chew that?"
"Yes," Castiel said, smiling. "I haven't mastered the unhinged jaw method as of yet."
Dean snorted and shook his head. Freakin' weirdo said the craziest shit sometimes. "You watch too many Animal Planet documentaries." Cas merely hummed and picked at the remaining fries on his plate, running a few through the greasy puddles from his burger. He ate his at a more sedate pace, trying not to talk with his mouth full too often when Cas felt compelled to fill the otherwise comfortable silence with questions.
He wound up losing track of time pretty easily after their plates had been cleared and Jo popped up refilling their drinks occasionally. He didn't know how their date-banter turned into serious talking, but he didn't try to wiggle out of like he normally would've.
"It's just so... soap opera, you know?" Dean picked at the cardboard coaster under his beer and sighed. He really needed something harder to drink for this kinda shit. He didn't even look up when a tumbler of whiskey appeared next to his beer, just grabbed it and made it disappear. "Anyway, Sam's mom wasn't even someone I remembered bein' with. How fucked up is that?" He eyed Cas from the corner of his eye and caught the other man nodding in that sympathetic way he had. There wasn't even the expected 'you man-whore' look most people gave him when he admitted that.
He sighed again, releasing the tension in his shoulders. He didn't remember how the fuck they got talking about this, but he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be as hard as he'd feared it would be. It probably made for shitty first-date conversation but avoiding it wasn't really an option at the moment. It felt like he'd waited too long to talk about it as it was.
"It took me a week to remember that I'd hooked up with some chick named Lisa." He went quiet for a few moments. "And I never did anything stupid like not using a condom, yanno?" He still didn't know how it happened but it probably didn't matter now... His earlier thoughts about accidents happening all the time was too true. And with how often he used to pick up random women, he was bound to get bit in the ass by the odds sooner or later.
Castiel merely hummed. He hadn't gotten the impression of irresponsibility from Dean. He still didn't; he knew nothing was 100%. He refused to acknowledge the look Dean was giving him, like he was expecting a harsh judgement.
"Then, I get some kid dropped on my stoop, all Harry Potter style," Dean said, staring off again. He saw Cas look confused for a moment, probably not having any idea about the Harry Potter reference (seriously?!), but getting the gist of the thing. "I haven't regretted a moment of it, though. Sam's..." he trailed off, embarrassed that his eyes felt hot and prickly. He did not want to start blubbering; that had to be even worse for a first date.
"I do understand, Dean. For all the hard-ships of fatherhood, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My son—he's my everything."
Dean nodded, smiling a little. He shoulda known Cas would get it. "Yeah. I can't imagine my life without Sammy, either." He went quiet again, realizing just how true those words were. He'd do anything for his son.
"Exactly," Castiel murmured, offering Dean a warm smile when he looked over. Dean smiled back. He side-eyed the blonde woman pushing a whiskey towards each of them. He normally didn't touch the stuff but Dean looked like he could use it. Dean swallowed his in two gulps and held out his glass for a refill. He carefully swallowed some of his own as he watched Dean sip at the next one slower.
"So, what about you?" Dean asked, looking at Cas over his whiskey as he drained it. He held out his glass for another refill, smiling a little dopily when Jo complied without comment. But she gave him the stink-eye that said it would be the last one. He didn't mind; he was starting to feel all warm and tingly. He sighed softly, more whiskey would be very dumb right now.
Castiel considered playing dumb, pretending he didn't have any idea what Dean was asking so he might have an extra moment to consider his answer. But lying was out of the question; not only had Dean been so open, he just didn't want to lie to the man.
"Ex-wife. She wasn't interested in custody."
Dean frowned and leaned closer to Cas, poking him in the chest, "Well, good. That kinda mom shouldn't have Gabe, anyways."
"Do not misunderstand, Dean," Castiel said softly. He gently pushed Dean's finger off his chest when Dean didn't remove it right away. It was a little distracting having him so close and touching like that. "She just wasn't suited for motherhood. Gabriel was a surprise, a pleasant one for me but not so much for her. She's a good woman."
Dean made a rude noise and flapped a hand at Cas. "She's just like Lisa then, dumpin' her kid off. I mean, s'prob'ly a good thing, 'cause who knows what woulda happened to Sammy otherwise, yanno?" His eyes did that prickly-hot thing again even as he tried not to imagine the horrible possibilities of what coulda happened to his little boy.
Or Gabe; he kinda loved the little squirt.
Of course, Cas did have a point—Just 'cause they didn't wanna be moms didn't make either of 'em bad people. Maybe it made them good people 'cause they made sure their kids were taken care of? He later tried to look for Lisa (not to give his kid back or anything, but just to find her) and he'd found out she'd died. He now wondered if she knew it was gonna happen and that's why she did the 'baby in the basket' thing. That made her a good mom then, right?
He didn't know... His thoughts were too fuzzy with whiskey. And Cas.
"Wait, then why did you guys divorce? I mean, she's all kindsa stupid leaving you," Dean said. He rolled his lips over his teeth and wished he could shove the words back in his mouth. Even if they were true... That wasn't something he should be saying right now. It would lead to... distractions. And it was his good luck, really, that they were splitsville.
Castiel sighed softly and closed his eyes. The pleasure from the compliment was short lived as he thought on his answer. "Difference of opinion."
"She didn't think you were awesome?" Dean asked, giving Cas a lop-sided grin. He mentally patted himself on the back for not blurting out 'ridiculously sexy' or 'adorkably funny' instead of just 'awesome'. Another whiskey or two and he probably would've. And then he would've been all up on Cas like one of his goofy ties.
Castiel snorted and shook his head. "She cheated on me," he said, without thinking. He winced; that had come out wrong and it was, by no means, the full story. He figured the whiskey was starting to affect him... He didn't even blame his ex-wife, Maria, for what had happened. He only felt bad he hadn't figured out a solution sooner and saved them both a lot of heart ache and stress.
"That bitch!" Dean hollered indignantly, tipping forward and nearly spilling his remaining whiskey as he flailed an arm around.
"It wasn't exactly the reason we divorced," Castiel said softly, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Dean's eyebrows drew together and he leaned in closer. Before the other man could ask for more details, or shout more obscenities, he figured might as well be completely honest. "We hadn't slept together since Gabe was conceived."
Dean's eyes widened and he nearly blurted something embarrassing again. How could Cas' ex-wife not wanna jump him? Like, all the fuckin' time? He blinked a few times; he wanted to do things to Cas' lips and neck. And that messy, dark hair was all like 'run your fingers through me, Dean!'. He shook his head, trying to get his focus back to the issue at hand.
"Why?"
"I wasn't interested," Castiel admitted, shrugging one shoulder a little. Dean's eyebrows drew together again as his head cocked to the side. He had to look away because that was too adorable. "I'm gay," he murmured. He almost hoped Dean hadn't heard him, but the sharply indrawn breath told him he had.
He idly wondered if he should've mentioned it at some point before now; especially in light of the direction their relationship was heading.
Dean nearly fell off his seat. He forced his raging pulse to just fucking quit it and focused on Cas' face. The guy looked wary but calm—like he would tactfully accept a punch or some other stupidly horrible reaction. He didn't know why he didn't figure it out sooner; Cas had always been calm and cool when it came to the 'gay stuff'. He felt kinda dumb, actually. He did wonder why Cas never said so before, but maybe it was just another one of those things Cas totally sucked at because he just didn't get how to talk to people. The adorable goof.
He patted a consoling hand on Cas' shoulder, smiling goofily when the other man smiled at him and patted his hand. It stayed there, resting warmly on top of his.
"Why d'you get married then?" Dean asked. He was trying not to focus on the whole touching Cas thing... He'd probably do something really embarrassing. But a little sober voice in the back of his head was telling him they weren't done talking and Cas probably wasn't ready to have Dean flopping into his lap or smooshing his face in Cas' chest.
...Or maybe he was, judging by the 'I wanna see you naked look' Cas was giving him. But. Public places were not really a good idea for sexytimes. Especially not public places he knew people at and he was pretty sure they'd tape him for future humiliation. Or bootleg internet porn (the utter pervs). Jo would so do that and she'd make a buttload of dough 'cause he and Cas were totally hot. He snapped out of his porny thoughts when he realized Cas was talking again.
"We didn't have much say in it," Castiel said, frowning a little in remembrance. It still irritated him that he'd been forced into an arranged marriage in this day and age. "Our parents thought it would beneficial. I was the second youngest, so my parents made a lot of decisions for me."
And he was embarrassed to admit he'd allowed it because, at the time, he hadn't been happy to just go along. Then he'd been unable to think past the threat of being cut off from his family's money. He was barely 18, at the time, but he knew he wouldn't be able to afford being on his own. He could admit to being spoiled but he was realistic, too. He turned to see Dean giving him an odd look, like he was thinking hard but trying not to blurt things out.
"It wasn't that horrible," he said, as if Dean needed reassuring. "We learned to get along fairly quickly. We're still friends, actually, but she hasn't seen Gabe since we divorced." He'd offered, but Maria claimed she didn't want to confuse Gabe since she couldn't (or wouldn't) be a consistent presence in his life.
Dean shook his head, trying to absorb all of the information. "Why get divorced, though? I mean, it seemed like an open marriage woulda worked?" Though, he had to admit he probably wouldn't want to do stuff if Cas was still married, even if it was one of them open marriage dealies. He was no home-wrecker, dammit.
"She was in love with someone and I couldn't stand in the way of that," Castiel said softly.
He'd been hesitant to tell his parents the marriage was dissolving, but they'd taken the news fairly well. Apparently, Gabe was enough to satisfy them. He hadn't talked to his parents since, though. Not when they'd found out the reason for the divorce. His parents had ended up disowning him anyway once he'd been honest about being gay. He really hadn't been surprised and had already finished his CPA classes. He had been grateful for Maria's support through everything; he wasn't sure he would been alive and (relatively) sane without her...
"Oh," Dean muttered, looking back into his glass for a few moments. He heard a lot in those few words and he felt bad for Cas but happy for him at the same time. It was a weird feeling and he shook his shoulders, trying to make it go away. "I think... I think I'm good," he said slowly putting his empty glass on the bar.
Castiel merely nodded and stood, sliding back into his trench coat. He saw Dean wobble and held a hand on his upper arm to help steady him, swallowing thickly when the man gave him a gooey smile, his slightly unfocused green eyes crinkling at the corners. He let go slowly so Dean wouldn't fall over and helped him into his leather jacket when his third attempt failed to get his arm in the remaining sleeve.
He kind of hated to admit it, but a slightly drunk Dean was dangerously adorable. He took on Dean's weight without protest when the man slumped against his side again. He patted at Dean's pocket, looking for the man's keys.
"You wanna feel me up, at least kiss me first," Dean mumbled, trying not to giggle like an idiot.
Castiel huffed out a laugh, shaking his head a little. Quite the tempting offer, but now wasn't the time (or place). "I'm looking for your keys, Dean. You are not driving."
"Fuck me," Dean muttered, rubbing at his face. "You gotta stop saying my name like that, Cas."
Castiel was mostly focused on getting Dean to his car; Dean was nearly dead-weight and apparently convinced Cas possessed the strength to man-handle him easily. "Like what?" he asked, distracted as he went to pat down Dean's pockets again. He wasn't sure if he was hoping for or against the odds they were in the man's pants pocket instead of his jacket. He paused when Dean flopped against him, their chests now pressed warmly together as hands tried to slide past his coat. He looked down as Dean fumbled around, frowning and muttering under his breath.
"Like, all sexy like," Dean mumbled, trying to find Cas' ass. Stupid coat was in the way. He frowned as he pawed at the tan fabric. It was like a freakin' circus tent or something. He tried pushing the fabric out the way but it just slipped right back where it was with a soft hissing sound.
Castiel stilled, trying hard to ignore Dean's triumphant little sound when his hands finally found their way around his coat and to the small of his back. "I'm sorry," he said, even though the urge to pin Dean against his own car and repeat 'Dean' over and over again was rather strong. "Keys?" he said, gently pulling Dean's hands from his back pocket.
He regretted having to do it, but being fondled in a well-lit parking lot was not an experience he wished to have at the moment. He huffed softly when Dean seemed to have sprouted more hands and they were everywhere. It left him feeling an odd combination of begrudgingly amused, a little put-out and more than a little aroused to notice Dean had gotten over his 'touching a dude' thing.
"Dean," Castiel said sharply. He regretted that when Dean moaned loudly, indecently, and squirmed closer. "Give me your keys."
"So bossy," Dean murmured, trying to scowl but it came out sounding happy and slightly breathless. He'd seen Cas be a bad ass before but wasn't usually directed at him. He smiled at Cas, hoping he could get the stick outta Cas' butt and the guy would let him stick his hands in Cas' pockets this time. Cas was being a bummer though and held his hand out for keys, twitching his hips away from Dean's hands.
He made a noise that could only be called a whine and dug the ring of keys out of his pocket, slapping them in Cas' outstretched hand. "Fine. But be nice to my car."
Castiel nodded, well aware of the level of trust Dean was showing, and hurried to unlock the car door. He tucked Dean into the passenger seat, smiling despite himself when Dean flopped across the seat, legs flailing comically, and unlocked the driver's side door for him. As soon as he slid behind the wheel, Dean was pressed against his side.
"Dean," he said softly, but still a hint of warning in his voice. It would be extremely difficult to drive with Dean where he was...
"Yeah?"
"You're making it difficult not to take advantage of your inebriated state," Castiel said slowly. It was the only reason he could think of why Dean was suddenly very handsy. He wasn't sure if he should be encouraged or disappointed Dean needed to be half-drunk before he would touch him. His eyebrows drew together when Dean made an annoyed sound.
Dean sucked his teeth and flopped into Cas' lap, barely missing smacking his head the steering wheel and probably a mild concussion. "'m not that drunk, Cas." He reached up and ran a finger along Cas' bottom lip, staring at it intently. His brain-to-mouth filter was a bit gunked up with whiskey and he was murmuring "I always wanna touch you" before he knew it.
It wasn't untrue, but he hadn't meant to admit that. He rolled his lips over his teeth briefly, embarrassed and feeling his face warm with something besides liquor. But the look Cas was now giving him totally made any embarrassing confessions worth it—it was like Cas was trying to take all his clothes off with just those blue as fuck eyeballs of his. If anyone could do such a thing, Cas would be the guy for the job.
"Do you?" Castiel asked quietly, not bothering to bat Dean's hands away from his face again. Feeling the callouses on Dean's fingertips brushing against his chin and jaw was enough to make him want to shudder but he managed to suppress it. Mostly.
Dean nodded, sliding his hand from Cas' jaw to the back of his neck. He yanked until Cas bent over enough their noses nearly touched. Fuck, Cas was really flexible... His mind went into Happy Porn Time for a minute as he imagined that flexibility being used for fun (heh, he was totally thinking sexy, though) stuff before he remembered they were talking. "Yeah," he said. He smiled when Cas' head tilted a little. God that shit was cute.
"I see," Castiel murmured, shifting in his seat enough to be able to lean down further. It was a roomy car, but it was still a tight squeeze since he had the steering wheel in the way. "Why... Why the problems before?" he asked. He should probably just shut up and take advantage of the situation, not to mention he knew how little Dean liked discussing such things, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He needed to know how recent these feelings were.
Dean huffed softly and pushed at Cas' shoulder, making the other man sit back up and give him room to sit up as well. "'Cause, Imma dick?" he offered, shrugging. "I dunno, I just took awhile to get with the idea I wanted to touch you, OK?" Cas was squinting at him again and he huffed again, rubbing at his face. "Stop that. Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" Castiel asked, blinking.
"All squinty eyed and shit," Dean muttered, a hand over his eyes, waving the other hand around. "Makes you all adorable and shit." He peeked through his fingers and ended up dropping his hand so he could scowl properly when Cas smiled at him. What the hell, man? Didn't he just say—"Stop bein' adorable!"
Castiel laughed softly, unsure what to make of the surreal conversation. He blanked his expression the best he could, trying not to be adorable, and just stared at Dean, waiting for further information. He went willingly when Dean pulled him towards the middle of the seat and tried not to be surprised when he had a lap full of Dean Winchester the moment there was room. His hands settled on Dean's thighs without his permission, absently stroking. Dean didn't seem to mind, so he went with it.
"Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas?"
"What are you doing?"
Dean smirked and leaned closer, narrowly avoiding smacking his head on the interior light. "Gettin' comfy so we can make-out," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Because—Duh. Cas was pretty thick sometimes. He wiggled closer.
"Are we?" Castiel asked, interested but unsure. He realized what Dean intended and kissing in a car was an experience he'd yet to explore. Experiencing it with Dean just made it all the more enticing. "Are you sure? I really don't want you to be upset I didn't stop you from doing something you wouldn't normally do."
Dean rolled his eyes, amused and more than a little warm and fuzzy feeling from Cas trying to be all moral and shit (and caring about him, but he wasn't gonna flake out about that), and settled himself in Cas' lap. He was kinda surprised how comfy it was and that he didn't feel like a total girl because he was straddling Cas. It actually was a genius move; he could feel all kinds of good stuff in this position. Cas' chest pressing against his each time either of them breathed, firm muscles under his hands, and the barest brush of their groins. It was all kinds of awesome.
"Yeah, I'm sure. You gonna shuddup and kiss me or what?"
Castiel considered answering but surged forward, shutting Dean up with his lips. The angle was better with Dean in his lap and he was quick to slide his hands up Dean's thighs to his hips, the tips of his fingers resting lightly on the swell of Dean's ass. He made a soft sound when Dean pressed closer, fingers tangling in his hair. Any hesitation he might have had about Dean wanting more or doubts of the other man welcoming his touch evaporated when Dean moaned and arched into him.
He hooked his thumbs in Dean's belt-loops and pulled the other man closer, bringing them flush together with a soft grunting sound of satisfaction when their bodies connected. He let himself go, free to enjoy the sensations. The taste of whiskey and Dean did more to make his head swim than anything else he'd imbibed in earlier. He reveled in it, enjoying every touch, kiss and sound Dean made. Until he felt fingers brushing against his crotch. "Dean."
"Yeah?" Dean panted out, leaning back just enough to try to find a better angle.
Castiel gently removed Dean's hand. "As much as I would enjoy that, this isn't the time or place."
"No car action?"
Castiel slowly shook his head, trying his best to ignore the pout. Dean pouting should be criminalized... Also, his restraint should be praised. "No."
"Fine," Dean huffed, clumsily making his way off Cas' lap and into the passenger side of the car. He wanted to be annoyed Cas said no, but he could understand why. And wasn't that the bitch of it? Normally he'd try to wheedle his way, smooth talk into whatever he wanted. But (and the thought alone almost made him check himself for boobs) he liked Cas too much to fool around in the car if Cas didn't want to.
Ugh. He was whipped—and they hadn't even gotten to any decent action to excuse being whipped. (Dick whipped? Was that a thing?) He buckled up and (mostly) kept his hands to himself as Cas drove. He realized they were headed to Cas' and he might've gotten a little more excited than usual at the idea. He followed Cas inside and the urge to push Cas onto the sofa was too good to ignore. Cas went willingly, though, so it was all good.
Dean was still a little buzzed but he was clear-headed enough to know exactly what was going on; for better or worse. He was very aware he was making out with Cas again, both of them going at each other like teenagers locked in a closet. He was aware of Cas' hand wandering freely again and finding the sensations nothing but fan-fucking-tastic. Cas had really great hands, long fingered to get in good places and strong to add the right amount of pressure. He couldn't help the breathless little gasp sound when Cas' fingers brushed over his stomach, right over his belly button.
Unlike last time, all he wanted was lower. He wondered if Cas could read his mind because those fingers went lower. He was pretty sure those breathy, moany noises were coming from him, but he was past caring right now. Because Cas was totally sticking a hand down his pants. Yeah, those were man fingers brushing along his pelvic bone and teasing at the wiry hairs there.
And holy shit did it feel good. He couldn't even remember why he'd freaked out before.
"Dean?"
Dean blinked, realizing all of Cas' movements had stilled. "Yeah, go for it, Cas," he said, hoping to everything holy that Cas was asking for permission to go lower. And not... Something else. Oh. Maybe—Nope, it was permission, he realized with a jolt of heat and intense pleasure when he felt Cas' fingers wrap around him. The grip was tight in the confines of his jeans and he fumbled with getting the button and zipper opened.
"Cas," he moaned, movements stopping when Cas' hand did this thing against the underside of his cock. Holy shit. He focused back on giving Cas more room, groaning with satisfaction when he managed to get his jeans opened and pushed down a little. His eyes fluttered closed, reveling in each stroke and twist. His hands were busy, too, but they weren't doing the appropriate things.
Though, one hand squeezing at Cas' ass while the other fisted his hair was pretty cool, he kinda wanted to try returning the favor.
"Dean," Castiel breathed when he felt Dean's fingers at his waist. His breath whooshed out when he felt the tentative swipe of Dean's fingers along his lower stomach before leaving just long enough to work his jeans open. His head flopped onto Dean's shoulder at the next touch. Dean. On his dick. He didn't know what to do besides groan into the other man's neck and encourage movement. Which Dean did with little prompting.
It was a little awkward, their knuckles bumped in an off-beat cadence as they both fumbled around with the other.
Castiel reluctantly let go of Dean, missing the slick heat, and gently pushed the man's hand away from him. He smothered the immediate protests with a kiss (even as he reveled in the fact there were protests) and shifted to be able to take both of them in hand, at the same time. Dean was a little larger than him, but he was able to wrap his hand, loosely, around them both with relative ease.
"Holy shit," Dean groaned, his head flopping back. He figured he was a little gay because he'd had enjoyed kissing Cas. But when long fingers around his dick was the best thing he'd felt in a long time, he upped 'a little gay' to 'mostly gay'. Then when Cas managed to get both their dicks in that hand, squeezing gently but firmly—Yup, he was totally gay. Because that right there was incredible. Why didn't anyone ever tell him two dicks were better than one?
He focused on touching and kissing Cas, puffing and moaning against the other man's lips, neck and jaw with each squeeze, stroke and twist. He couldn't focus on one spot for long, needing to taste and feel as much as he could and getting more and more desperate the closer he got to coming. Which was gonna happen any moment now...
"Cas. Fuck—" Dean choked out but any idea of warning was preempted by his hips arching up sharply as he came over Cas' fist. And his dick, can't forget that. He was pretty sure his brain stopped for a minute when he felt Cas' come, not just the hot splash against him (which was officially the hottest fucking thing ever) but the twitching, pulsing cock smashed sticky-hot against his.
Castiel relaxed slowly, carefully settling against Dean. His eyes fluttered closed and he sank into the heated but soft, sweet kiss, Dean's fingers splayed out along his neck and jaw as he kissed and gently nipped at his lips. He hummed dozily, sated and relaxed. He should probably get up, clean them off, but Dean was hugging him rather tightly and he did not want to move. He settled willingly when Dean humphed a 'stay' and tightened his grip every time he made to move.
It was hard to argue when knees were pressed on either side of his hips and arms were tight around his chest and shoulders. He yawned and got as comfortable as he could without moving around too much. He couldn't help smiling a little when he noticed Dean was breathing deep and even, already asleep. Resigned to a night on the couch, he settled in.
Dean woke up, groggily swiping at something tickling his nose. "Mmmph. Stoppit, Sammy," he mumbled, turning his head a little. The tickling was worse. And smelled good. A warm weight against his side shifted and he slowly opened his eyes, looking down a little. All he could really see was a messy head of dark hair.
Cas.
He looked down a little more, careful not to disturb Cas and just stared. Cas was... cute. Which is weird considering it was the complete opposite image of the dude that completely rocked his world however long ago. He had to laugh, stifling the sound as best he could and somehow managed not to wake Cas. He realized they were snuggling. Cuddling. Cuddling with their clothes still half undone and dried, sticky patches on their shirts. It shoulda been gross and awkward but it wasn't. It was... well, the opposite and he settled back into it.
Huh.
Maybe Jo was right... because he was really grooving on the whole cuddling thing. It was surprisingly nice. Cozy. Comforting. He woulda thought otherwise; Cas was lithe, angular and male—none of the things he thought would make him snuggle worthy and/or comfortable. But here Cas was, still perfect to cuddle up against. Cas shifted with a sleepy noise but didn't wake. Satisfied, Dean went back to sleep, too.