Part 4

Rodney had spent the last hours searching the database for any information on M9H-541, but by the time Carson radioed him, he hadn't found anything he didn't already know. The Ancients concentrated on describing various plants, insects and animals; the birds Zelenka had taken such interest in, for example, was favored a considerable amount of text. There were however no mentions of anyone falling ill after a visit to the planet.

He was the last to arrive outside the Isolation Room, and he suspected the others had already been there when the Scot summoned them. Carson was once again standing by the view screen, looking both elated and really worried at the same time. As soon as he saw Rodney enter, he turned the screen on. "I found it," he proclaimed.

"Found what?" Sheppard asked.

"The bacteria." He pointed to a magnified image of a rather nasty-looking creature on the screen. "Look, here it is, the little bugger."

Jennifer frowned. "I didn't see this."

"You weren't looking for it," Carson explained. "This is from the first blood sample taken from Zelenka after returning from M9H, when he was in the infirmary to have the habbatalus bites checked."

"Yes?"

"Okay, this is where it's getting weird. We have taken blood several times since then, but all later samples came back clean."

"What?" Woolsey said.

"The bacteria are gone."

Everyone looked a little confused as they took a minute to digest the information, or the lack of it. "I don't understand," Woolsey finally said. "If the bacteria are not in his body anymore, then that's a good thing, right? He's getting well."

"Clearly that's not the case!" Rodney barked. Gee, the man only had to turn around and have a look at Zelenka to see that.

Woolsey shot him a sour look and Teyla looked overbearing at him, but Rodney didn't care. He too was confused, and he could see on Carson's face that his friend didn't understand much either. This made no sense at all, and here was the expedition leader wasting valuable time by asking stupid questions.

"No," Carson said. "He's not getting better." And when he met the others' quizzical looks, he added, "I told you, it's weird. The bacteria only worked as a trigger, if you follow me. As far as I can tell, they entered his system, set in motion the cell necrosis, and then left. They're not there anymore. I even analyzed cell samples from the infected areas of his brain to confirm it."

Rodney made a face, wondering how the doctor had managed to retrieve said samples from Zelenka's brain. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to know how.

Jennifer frowned in disbelief. Carson saw it and nodded. "I know, this goes against the laws of medicine as we know it, but this is the Pegasus galaxy after all."

"So just to get this straight," Woolsey asked, "his brain cells are still dying?"

"Yes," the Scot replied and the room fell quiet for a moment. "And it won't be easy to find a cure, I'm afraid."

"Why not?" Ronon asked.

"Normally we would create a medicine that targets and neutralizes the bacteria, but since the bacteria are no longer present, there is nothing left to target." He looked at Rodney. "Did you find anything in the database?"

Rodney shook his head. "No. But I am 100 percent sure it's not the habbatalus that caused it." He glanced at Ronon, because he knew that that was what the Satedan was thinking.

"I agree," Carson said. "Everyone on that off-world team got bitten several times, but the bacteria were only found in Radek's blood sample. All the others came back clean. And so did all the various plant and soil samples they brought back with them. I have no idea what's behind this."

"It probably was something in the bird's nest, then," John said. "We should send a team back there to have a look."

"Is that wise?" Woolsey asked. "It's just pure luck that no one else got sick and…"

"Wearing HAZMAT suits of course," John said, sounding a little impatient and irritated.

"Maybe he didn't catch it on the planet at all," Jennifer shot in. "We're only guessing here."

"Why don't you people concentrate on finding the cure for the disease," Ronon suddenly barked. "And then you can argue about what caused it later."

"Ronon…," Teyla started, but Carson cut her off.

"He's got a point," he said. "I am currently working on adapting the serum I take to keep my own cells from deteriorating into something that might work on him as well."

"That sounds promising," Woolsey said.

"Let's hope so." The Scot turned towards Jennifer. "I could use your help."

"Of course."

Carson looked back at Woolsey. "Mr. Woolsey, I think it would be prudent to let the rest of Zelenka's team out of isolation, as they are not infected. And I see no need for HAZMAT protocol either. Whatever this is, it's clearly not contagious."

Woolsey nodded. "If that's your expert opinion, Doctor."

Rodney blocked out the rest of the conversation. He went over to the window and looked down at Zelenka again. He appeared to be asleep or unconscious, but when a nurse placed a rag on his forehead, he flinched. Rodney stepped back a little. He didn't want Radek to see him.

Jennifer was suddenly beside him. "Rodney, are you okay?"

"Sure," he instantly replied, but he couldn't get himself to look at her while he said it.

"If you want to talk to him, or…"

"No." The answer came so fast that it startled them both, probably him the most. He cleared his throat. "I… Don't you have work to do? I have." And then he turned on his heels and left the room, feeling her eyes on his back.

This is wrong, he thought to himself. She cares about you. You shouldn't treat her like that. But he didn't like it when people poked at his feelings in public, and she should have known that. Why do they always bother me? he thought to himself as he made his way through the hallways. It's not like they ask Sheppard or Ronon on how they feel all the time. He snorted.

It's just because it's Radek, he then realized and frowned. Why did people keep insisting that he and Radek were friends? They weren't. Zelenka was just a guy he worked with. A rather annoying, little guy he worked with. A guy he liked to work with…

Rodney stopped dead in his tracks. Had he just used the word 'like' about Zelenka, even if it was just in his own thoughts? Did he really like him? No, he thought after a short consideration. I don't like him. He's not my friend. He's…

He looked up and saw his own reflection in a mirror on the wall. His own eyes looked back at him, almost scrutinizing and accusing, as if they belonged to someone else. Damn it all, he thought as he jerked his eyes away from the mirror and continued down the hallway. Damn it all to hell.

The next day Carson Beckett approached Woolsey as the latter was making his way back to his office after lunch. "Mr. Woolsey, a word?"

"Of course. Any news on Dr. Zelenka?"

Carson fell into stride with him as they continued down the hallway. "His fever broke this morning, but he keeps having seizures, and at more frequent intervals. Since yesterday he's had three of them, and they are taking a massive toll on his body."

Woolsey nodded, his face grave. "Have you tried the serum you talked about?"

Carson nodded. "Yes, that's what I wanted to tell you. We started him on it last night."

"Is it working?"

"It seems to have a positive effect, yes."

"Well, that's good." Woolsey both looked and sounded pleased.

"Well," Carson said hesitantly. "It hasn't fully stopped the cells from deteriorating, I'm afraid. It seems it only slows down the process, so to speak. They cells are still dying, but at a much slower rate."

"I see," Woolsey nodded. "At least it's bought us some time."

"Aye."

They turned a corner. "If you don't mind me saying, Doctor," Woolsey said, "you seem to put a lot of time and work into this."

"Does that surprise you, Mr. Woolsey?"

"Not at all. But I hope you know you don't have to do it."

"Oh, but I do." Carson stopped and so did Woolsey. "I'm a doctor and I've sworn an oath to help whoever needs me. It's true I don't have any official responsibilities here on Atlantis, but that also means that I, unlike Dr. Keller, have the time and the opportunity to concentrate solely on this task. And I aim to do so until I have a cure."

Woolsey nodded again as they continued walking. "You are of course welcome to."

"Besides," Carson added, "he's my friend."

Woolsey smiled sympathetically. "I understand. Believe me." They reached the last corner before the Control Room, and their paths separated. "Good luck, Doctor," Woolsey said as he turned right.

"Thank you," Carson replied and continued straight ahead.

He went back to the Isolation Room where Zelenka was still kept. Keller, now out of her HAZMAT suit, was standing by Radek's bed talking to a nurse when he entered, and she gave him a nod when she saw him. The nurse accepted a tablet from her and hurried past Carson and out of the room.

Carson looked at Jennifer. "How is he?"

Jennifer glanced at Zelenka in the bed. "Much calmer. He's been sleeping."

"Any more seizures?"

"No."

Carson went up to the bed and had a closer look. Radek was indeed calmer. He wasn't thrashing anymore, but he was still awfully pale and his breathing continued to be shallow and ragged.

"He's still in a lot of pain," Jennifer added. "I'm keeping him sedated, but I don't dare increase the dose. He's so weak."

Carson nodded grimly. "At least he seems pain free for the moment."

A sound from Jennifer made him turn towards her. "What are we going to do?" she blurted out. He could sense she was frustrated and that she had been for a while, and he completely sympathized with her. This was one of the days when being a doctor was hard.

"We are not giving up," he said.

"Oh no," she agreed, suddenly hiding her frustration behind determination. "Absolutely not."

He doesn't know where he is or how he got here. The room is small and circular and dimly lit, but the light still burns his eyes when he tries to open them. So he keeps them closed, taking in the sounds from his surroundings. Something is beeping to his right, feet shuffle across the floor, voices. Voices talking. He tries to concentrate on the voices. He wants to hear what they are saying. But the language makes so no sense to him. And somehow he feels as if it should make sense. It's confusing.

His thoughts are drifting. It is so hard to hold on to them. It is hard to breathe too. His chest is so heavy, as if something or someone is sitting on it, and it takes great effort to draw in air. He wants to tell them that they have to remove whatever's sitting there, but he can't find the words. So he just keeps gasping for air, and tries to lift his hands to push the object away on his own. The hands are heavy too and don't really feel like they are his, but he manages to lift them a few inches. But by then he has forgotten why he did it.

Someone takes his hands and puts them back down on the mattress. A voice speaks to him. He doesn't understand the words, but the voice is calming and he trusts it. Something cold and wet is pressed to his lips and he curiously parts them, allowing the ice cube into his mouth. That's what it is. Ice cube. He remembers. He tries to open his eyes…

Somewhere in the back of his head he can feel pain. A distant, but growing pain. Like a caged animal waiting to be released. He finally manages to lift his eyelids and the light bursts into his dark world. He closes his eyes again. It's too bright. The pain grows. He wants to let them know he's hurting and tries to speak. All he can let out is a whimper.

But it is enough. The voice speaks to him again. A mask is placed on his face, over his nose and mouth. It makes it easier to breathe. A hand rests on his forehead and he thinks of the voice and the face it belongs to. A woman with long, blonde hair. He can't remember her name, and he knows he should remember.

He can't remember much at all. It's hard to hold on to the thoughts. They slip from his mind as soon as they enter. It's frustrating, so he keeps chasing them until he finds one he can hold on to.

His name.

I am Radek Zelenka, he thinks.

Soon the pain fades. And so does the rest of the world.

Teyla had been looking for McKay for the better part of the day. He didn't answer when she radioed him, and so she had checked the labs, his quarters, the jumper bay and the mess hall, all the places the Canadian would normally be found. But he had not been there, and she was almost ready to give up, when she finally found him. In a place she had never expected him to be: The gym.

He was on the treadmill, walking at what she found to be a rather slow pace, but yet his face was red from the strain and he puffed like a steam engine. Teyla couldn't help but smile. "Rodney?" she exclaimed. "Are you working out?"

He flinched as he suddenly noticed her, and jumped off the treadmill as if it was suddenly on fire. "I..," he began.

"You should," she smiled. "It is very good for you."

He picked up a towel and patted it against his sweaty brow. "I've heard it's supposed to clear your mind," he said. "I can't say I agree. How am I supposed to think clearly being this uncomfortable?"

She just smiled. "I have been looking for you."

"You need me for something?"

"Well, actually I just wanted to check on you."

He sighed. "Why is everyone so worried about me? I'm not the one with a dying brain. It's Radek you should concentrate your worry on."

"And we are," she softly replied. "Drs. Beckett and Keller are doing everything they can. But I do not think I would be much use to them. I believe there is more need for me here."

He looked at her for a moment, still rubbing his face with the towel. "I'm fine," he said.

"So this is not why you came here to 'clear your mind'?" she asked.

He snorted. "No." He dropped his towel and continued, "This is so typical Zelenka, you know. He should have been more careful. But, no, he had to poke his nose into some bird's nest, 'cause he just can't help himself. I swear, the man is nuts! His curiosity takes the better of him."

"He sounds like another man I know…"

"Ha!" Rodney said and ranted on, "I mean, a nest? Why not leave that to the Zoology department, hm? He was there to look for Ancient devices. Stupid, stupid…"

Teyla didn't reply, knowing well why Rodney was behaving like this. She just waited patiently while he finished with his outburst. He became quiet quite suddenly and looked down at his hands. "Teyla, do you remember Grodin?"

"Of course," she said, remembering the British engineer who had died so heroically on the Ancestors' satellite while protecting Atlantis during the siege four years earlier. She was surprised that McKay chose to mention him now though.

"His last words were 'I'm sorry'. Can you believe that?"

She shrugged.

"I mean, the man was about to lay down his life for the rest of us, and yet he felt like he had to apologize. I have always wondered why he did that."

"He was a good man," Teyla said.

"Yes," Rodney agreed. "And a damn good scientist too." He paused for a second, then added, "I don't think I ever told him that."

She looked at him. "Rodney, is this about Grodin or is it about Zelenka?"

Rodney snapped out of the melancholy state just as fast as he'd fallen into it. "I am going to take a shower," he proclaimed. "And then I'm going to see if Carson's come up with anything."

And then he left the gym, leaving Teyla to watch him go with a concerned frown on her face.

TBC