Who Says Soldiers Don't Cry?

Jacob's POV

Before ending the call, I took a picture. I did this at the end of every conversation I had with Renesmee. She was growing into a beautiful young woman, and had she not won my heart the day she was born, she would have just now. I was loath to admit it, but our platonic relationship had been shifting in my mind for a while. Each email I wrote, each gift I sent, and every Skype conversation we had signified our growing love for each other.

Sam was watching for a pre-arranged signal which I gave him as Renesmee told me of her fears. They were justified. A lot of shit was going on, that's why my unit was sent to Europe in the first place. We had been going on more and more covert missions in the last few weeks. Quil had almost lost his life during one rescue mission. That would have been hard on Claire Young, the little girl he had imprinted on. Out of all the Quileute's in Italy, only three of us had imprinted: Sam, Quil, and me. Sam and Quil were the only ones who really understood the struggle I was having at being away from Renesmee, knew of the feelings I was starting have for her. So, when I gave the signal Sam knew to give me a few more minutes before he interrupted the conversation.

I hated deceiving Renesmee, but I wanted her in my arms when I asked her to marry me. Bella would be furious with me, as would Edward. My hope was that their anger would be short-lived considering they were drawn to each other, too. Of course, I first had to ask Edward for his blessing. I groaned, sweeping a hand down my face.

"Jacob," Sam said from the doorway to the communications room. "Do you need to talk about it?"

Taking a deep breath and holding it a moment, I shook my head as I slowly releasing it. "Thanks for the offer, Sam. The person I need to talk about this with is Edward. He went through something similar with Bella."

None of the Quileute wolves knew why Edward broke up with Bella their junior year save Sam and me. Bella became depressed after Edward left her in the woods. She had tried to follow him, but he was faster. Charlie, being the sheriff, called for volunteers to help search for her. Sam had found nearly frozen to death a mile and a half behind her house. Bella didn't talk to anyone for the longest time. When she finally came out of her shell, she went to Port Angeles with Jessica Stanley. After the movie, Bella went insane, jumping on a motorcycle with a complete stranger. I didn't want Renesmee becoming a thrill-seeker.

He motioned to my cellphone. "If you're that worried about Renesmee, call him. Maybe he can ease your mind," he said, leaving the room.

It's not like I hadn't called Edward before, but it was always when Renesmee was asleep. Sighing, I picked up my cellphone, sending him a quick message: "I need to talk to you. Can you get away?"

Edward called me five minutes later. "What's wrong, Jacob?" he asked once I picked up.

The truth… I had to tell him the truth. "I don't want Nessie coming to Europe. It's too dangerous."

Edward had the nerve to laugh. "I already know that, Jacob, and I heard what Nessie told you. Her mind is made up and there's no changing it. She's a lot like Bella in that respect."

"Yeah, I know," I replied, rubbing the side of my face.

The moment Bella learned the truth about Edward she was a determined to prove to him that she would never be afraid of him, that she trusted him. Renesmee, on the other hand, grew up knowing I was a wolf. I could still see her offering her hand to Aro. She had been so brave that day, where I had been on edge, ready to tear Aro to pieces if he ordered her execution.

"So… you know she's afraid of losing me."

He was silent for several minutes. "What kind of father do you think I am, Jacob? I know her fears. She's talked to me about them on several occasions." He sighed. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but I am anyway. You need to know. She ran from the house a week and half ago when Jasper turned on the news. The lead story was about a bombing in Italy."

I swallowed. That attack was bad. Hundreds of lives were lost. "She didn't tell me that. How long was she gone?"

"She ran all the way to Denali, Alaska, and Alice didn't see that one coming. Kate called me after Nessie arrived. She refused to come home. Charlie went with Bella to get her," Edward said. "It took them two days to convince her to return to Forks."

I couldn't help it and chuckled. "She's definitely yours and Bella's daughter," I remarked.

Edward chuckled too. "I never thought she would ever do what Bella was forced to do and I chose to do."

That was a sobering thought. "Then you understand why I don't want her to come."

"I do. I even talked to her, trying to help you out. She's dead set on coming with Bella and me."

Rubbing my face again, I said, "I appreciate it, Edward, and despite my concerns about her safety, I think it will ease her mind if she can see for herself that I'm okay."

"But the question is it really safe, Jacob? I've seen the news tonight, and it didn't paint a good picture."

Pursing my lips, I thought about how best to answer his question. "It depends on where you are in Europe. The wine countries are untouched by the terrorists. It's the cities that are at greater risks for attacks and for tourists to go missing."

Edward cursed. "The majority of our travel plans center around tourist scenes and the nightlife."

I wanted to suggest cancelling the trip altogether, Renesmee would be suspicious. "You have Alice on your side," I said.

"She won't be with us," he replied. "But it won't be a problem. She'll warn us. When do you plan on meeting up with us?"

"If I can talk Sam into a few days leave, I'll meet you in Tuscany," I said, looking over my shoulder and out the door. Sam nodded. I didn't want to tell Edward I had already secured leave for then as it could be cancelled at a drop of a hat.

"And I take it that's if there's no critical mission."

"Yep," I said. My eyes were still on Sam and he mouthed "Ask him." Again, I pursed my lips. "Edward, while I got you on the phone, I want to ask you something."

Another long silence ensued. "Go ahead."

Taking a deep breath and released it. "The tone of Nessie's emails has changed recently. What once was an accounting of her day and what everyone was up to has become more intimate."

I heard Edward swallow. "Intimate how?"

I could imagine him wanting to throw something. "She shares dreams… dreams that feature me," I said, leaving him to ask or let it drop.

"I see. And you're telling me this why?"

Both Bella and Edward knew one day I would marry Renesmee. "Well… I would like your blessing to ask her to marry me."

Silence.

I said nothing.

Waiting.

Edward said nothing.

Sam stood, walking toward me again. I shook my head, and he retreated.

"I can't give it to you without talking to Bella first," Edward said at length.

I nodded before realizing he wasn't in front on me but on the other end of the line. "I understand, Edward. Email me, text me, or call me after you speak with Bella."

He chuckled. "It's not like Bella and I didn't know this day would come, Jacob. Just be glad you're on another continent at the moment. It's possible one of us would have tried to kill you for wanting to steal our daughter away from us so soon."

"I love Nessie with all my heart and only want what's best for her," I said. "Plus, when this tour is up, so is my obligations to the Navy, and I want Nessie by my side after that."

"And it's evident you love her as much as I love Bella, especially with how you want to keep her safe. I'll remind Bella of that." I could hear the smile in Edward's voice. "I've got to go. Bella's just got to the cottage."

"Okay," I said. "Let me know what she says."

"I will." Edward hung up after that.

Leaving the communications room, I went over to my bunk, sitting down heavily. My cell was still in my hand the picture of Renesmee and me visible. Edward hadn't eased my mind any. And Renesmee… I knew she didn't mean to, but she had me even more worried about her.

I scrolled through every picture I had of Renesmee, smiling at her silly expressions, stopping every so often. There was one of my dad and her reading a book. There were a few pictures of her and Edward sitting at the piano for a lesson. I smiled when I came across the picture of Charlie standing behind her at the river, fishing. Renesmee had insisted on throwing all the fish back. I swiped passed picture after picture of her with me. There was even one of her on my back while I was a wolf. But my favorite was of her and Bella with their head's bent close, sharing some secret. I stroked the screen. It was taken three months before I had left for basic training. By the time I graduated and had a few days leave, she had grown and aged several years. Had it not been for her coming to the Pass in Review ceremony with her parents, I mostly likely wouldn't have recognized her.

I closed the picture app and opened my email, ignoring the ones from my dad and sisters. There was nothing new from Renesmee but that didn't stop me from rereading her last email.

At times, Jacob, I imagine you are home instead of overseas in war zone. I'm not naïve and know you place yourself in danger with every mission. But I know that's who you are, Jacob—a protector. You'll put your life of the line for those you love, and I love you all the more for serving your country, for protecting our freedom, and for protecting others from terrorist.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I read the words. She was growing up so fast, wise beyond her years. It was hard being away from her. Tossing my phone to the side, I buried my hands in my hair. "Two and a half months," I whispered as the tears slipped down my cheeks.

Someone put their hand on my shoulder.

"Jacob," Quil said. "I'm here for you if you want to talk or if you don't."

Looking up at him, I saw him kneeling in front of me with a look of concern on his face. "I don't think I'm going to make it," I said. "If something happens to Nessie while she's here, it will kill me."

"But dictating how she lives her life is not good for her or you for that matter," Sam said. "I worry about Emily every day, but the moment I treat her as anything else than my partner, I'll became a man I don't want to be. You did all you could by asking her to stay in Forks."

I nodded. "Edward even tried. She still wants to come."

"Love comes with a price for us and those we imprint on, Jacob," Quil said. "Sometimes we have to sacrifice what we want for the wants and needs of those women. It's clear Nessie is struggling with your calling."

I pushed Quil away and stood. "She couldn't even tell me how fucking scared she of losing me is," I shouted. "All she told me was she couldn't escape the news no matter where she goes. It was Edward who told me she ran away from home. All because of the fucking news stories about the bombing." I threw my right fist into concrete wall of the bunker. The crunch of bone told me I had broken it, and the wall bore not damage.

Turning, I saw Quil shared a look with Sam. Sam sighed and unholstered a tranquilizer gun. Raising it and aiming it at my shoulder, he pulled the trigger. I didn't even try to move out of the range, knowing I would get the sedative in the ass after being brought down by Paul and Quil.

Sweet oblivion started claiming me as Paul and Quil caught me under the arms as Sam said, "Get him in bed and see to his hand."