Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite.
Notes: Thank you for everyone who spared his or her time to review the last chapter. I'm happy to know that I still have your support. By the way, is it just me or anyone else wonders what Byakuya was really planning to say to Ichigo before Yachiru showed up in Shinigami Cup Golden 172? Anyway, I'll be off to watch episode 173. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 4

It was safe to say that any observant Shinigami would know that the captain of the Sixth Division always used the same route back and forth between his manor and his office. Yet, since nobody dared to watch the habit of Kuchiki Byakuya more closely, no one noticed how the man's paces would become slower once he reached to a certain corner of the main Gotei 13's passageway that linked between divisions as if he was expecting someone or something.

It had been more than a decade since Kurosaki Ichigo first decided to show up at that exact spot to intercept Byakuya in the middle of his way to the office just to bug him with whatever came to his insolent mind at that moment. At first, he only did so every once in a long while, but the longer the time went, the more frequent he showed, and before either of them realized, the vibrant Shinigami already turned up there every morning.

Nobody understood why Ichigo should form that habit, and Byakuya had always been more concerned about how to suppress his annoyance than to spend his time wondering what that boy could possibly gain from coming there to pester him.

Yet, the strangest thing about that situation was that Byakuya had never thought about changing his path. The Kuchiki lord had always convinced himself he chose to use the same direction because he refused to show that he was bothered by such childish behavior. He always believed it was his pride that kept him from being the first to back away, but now he began to wonder if those really were his reasons.

Could he possibly keep using that same track because in some sick and twisted ways, he actually enjoyed Kurosaki Ichigo's teasing?

Byakuya paused.

It had just been less than a week since he last saw that vivacious captain of the Third Division, yet a part of him already hoped Kurosaki Ichigo would be there and act as if nothing wrong had occurred between them.

Byakuya remained there for a few seconds before he quickly continued on his path, mentally berating himself once he realized that that day he actually stopped there to look around for that said orange-haired Shinigami when he should have known better than anyone that Ichigo would not come. He had already made sure of that.

It was ironic, yet Byakuya still had to admit to himself that as much as he was annoyed by the ever so pestering presence of Kurosaki Ichigo and had done everything in his power to shun him, he never truly wanted the man out of his life. It was absurd that he felt so strongly for the man who he had once made a pledge to kill with his own hands, to desire him so much that he had lost control of himself and to have that empty feeling in his chest when that boy was finally gone.

Byakuya sighed softly. Those feelings shouldn't even exist.

After having drowned his heart in his tears for his late wife, Byakuya told himself emotions were good for nothing except for causing weaknesses. So he had sealed his heart away with Hisana's premature death and never allowed himself to feel anything for anyone again. It was the only way to guarantee that he would never get hurt. For years, he had lived only for the rules of Soul Society, the honor of his family and the promises he had given to those who had passed away, but never again for himself.

He had been doing just fine until one Shinigami with striking hair color came crawling his way into his life, challenged everything he had ever believed in and unknowingly stirred up an unnamed feeling that Byakuya was less than comfortable with.

What was that feeling anyway?

At first, the Kuchiki lord thought it was a mere attraction, something that would die down after having ignored it for long enough. Yet now, he knew how wrong he had been. It didn't fade the way it was supposed to, but instead, the more he tried to ignore it, the more intense it had become. And now it had left him with a mixed-up state of mind.

Perhaps it was lust. But shouldn't he lose interest after having gotten what he lusted after if that was the case? Shouldn't he be satisfied then able to move on easily instead of craving for more and missing that man the way he did?

Still, he refused to acknowledge it as love for it was not the same kind of feeling he had felt for his late wife.

With Hisana, he wanted to protect her and cherish her, but when it came to Ichigo, everything was more intense and more passionate that sometimes he couldn't tell if he wanted to cut up that man with Senbonzakura or simply fuck him senseless.

The fact that he had done both in the same day could only intensify his problem.

It had been a long time since the last time he allowed anything to cloud his judgment. What had possessed him into revealing that much to Kurosaki Ichigo? He had to be out of his mind to have given in to that pent-up passion that should have been buried deep in the dark of his soul. He should have had better self-control than to respond to that kiss.

And what had compelled Kurosaki Ichigo to initiate it anyway?

Byakuya wasn't certain. Perhaps the boy returned his feelings, or perhaps he only did so out of pity. Perhaps it was just another prank gone too far. However, unlike Ichigo, he couldn't find himself seeking the boy out for an explanation. It had already been too late for that, and he would be better off without knowing.

Once again, he sighed.

What was the use of trying to define it when he had made sure to kill any chance it would ever develop? Why couldn't he just be contented with the fact that Kurosaki Ichigo would no longer be there to irritate him? His life would be much simpler that way.

'Do you honestly think that it's easier now that you've forced him out of your life?' He heard a voice within him asking, and he knew the voice wasn't his own.

Byakuya chuckled inwardly. It was funny Senbonzakura should choose that time to contradict him when she should have known better than anyone that he was already facing some sort of dilemmas and the last thing he needed was someone telling him he had chosen the wrong path.

Refusing to give her a direct answer, he pointed, 'It's all for the best.'

'The best? And who said it was the best, may I ask? Was it Kuchiki-taichō, Kuchiki-sama or Kuchiki Byakuya?'

'Are they not the same?'

'No, they're not,' she replied. 'Kuchiki-taichō's responsibility is to Gotei 13 and Soul Society, Kuchiki-sama's is for his family while Kuchiki Byakuya's is only for himself. I feel the last man is fading away lately.'

'He died the second his wife took her last breath.'

'I've been under that impression for almost a century, but there's a proof that he's still alive somewhere within your cold shell,' she noted softly before she added, 'Now that it's melting, it might be a good time for you to allow him to live once again. You have lived for other people's sake for long enough, Byakuya. Maybe it's time you sought your own happiness.'

Byakuya's charcoal eyes were narrowed then he remarked in his most sarcastic tone:

'Surely, you are not suggesting that I go after that boy and profess my undying love to him.'

'That would be an interesting thing to see, although I'm sure you'd rather commit seppuku than to do that,' she commented. 'No, Byakuya, I was just saying that you don't need to feel like you've betrayed Hisana by letting someone else into your heart. You have mourned for her for a century and that's a long time in anyone's standard, so maybe now it's time for you to let go of the past and start embracing what life has to offer you. I didn't say anything about Kurosaki Ichigo. You were the one who brought his name up and suggested that it was him that would make you happy.'

'Do not put words into my mouth, Senbonzakura.'

The zanpakutō sighed wearily.

'I merely state what you refuse to admit,' she remarked. 'It's not as wrong as you see it, Byakuya – the idea of you and him together.'

Byakuya hissed.

'Of course, it isn't exactly something I would call conventional. He's a man, after all,' the zanpakutō quickly added. 'It would sure raise a few eyebrows, but I don't recall you ever caring about what the rest of the world should think about you. So why is it different this time?'

'Because I don't want to want him, and even if I did, by now, he'd probably realize his mistake and convince himself that he should erase it from his memories,' the head of the Sixth Division replied solemnly. 'Not that those really matter now. It has already been too late for me to undo my decision. Even if I regretted the choice I made, I still could not go after him and tell him I wish to call off that deal. My pride wouldn't allow it.'

'I see.'

'It's better to end this now anyway,' Byakuya said, mostly to himself. 'Kurosaki Ichigo and I are only good at bringing each other pain and humiliation. To think that anything good can be made out of that would be preposterous.'

'Then I hope you can convince yourself that, Byakuya.'

With that said, the voice of Byakuya's zanpakutō faded and the head of the Clan Kuchiki was once again alone in his thought.

Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them again and headed towards his division. He didn't know if he would be able to seal all the feelings away and go back to his unemotional self this time, but life would go on no matter what.

It just had to.

Ichigo knew training some new recruits wasn't a part of his job's description, yet he decided to put his lieutenant in charge of the division and lead a group of rookies out to an outer Rukongai for training. It was true that his plan earned him a skeptical look from his lieutenant, but since the man didn't question his motive, Ichigo didn't feel like explaining.

No one needed to know why he wanted to be away from Seireitei.

Ever since that iniquitous morning, Ichigo had tried to act as if everything was normal and yet he failed miserably. He couldn't deny the foreign feeling he felt deep down in his heart, and even if he condemned himself to hell, it still wouldn't change the fact that he was pining for a certain prissy black-haired, charcoal-eyed Captain Kuchiki.

If anyone had told him half a century ago that he was to feel this way for Byakuya, Ichigo would have laughed at it then wiped whoever said it out of existence with Zangetsu. After all, there was no way he could feel anything but hatred and scorn for that cold and ruthless Shinigami who had tried to kill him more than once.

But they had gone a long way from then, and things had changed so much with time. In fact, they had changed so tremendously that now Ichigo couldn't find himself laughing at the irony of their situation.

There was nothing funny about how they had turned from sworn enemies to reluctant allies and then –

He didn't even know exactly what had become of them now.

It was strange he even cared about what had become of them when it shouldn't have mattered to him at all. Byakuya was just another person he liked to provoke, and he only did so to prove that the seemingly cold and unaffected head of the Kuchiki family was more human than he let on. There wasn't any ulterior motive behind his actions, so he shouldn't have any problem leaving Byakuya alone after he finally had his proof.

Of course, he had never expected the proof to come in a form of fervent kisses and sensual touches that rid them both of all kind of restraints and led to –

Realizing where his mind had strayed, Ichigo shook the thought out of his head.

Why was he still thinking about that man when he was out there to clear his mind so he could forget about him and everything that had happened between them? How many times had he told himself that he didn't need Byakuya? Hadn't he already set his mind that what happened between them would never happen again?

You're still as pathetic as ever, eh, King?

Ichigo frowned.

It had been a long time since he heard that raspy voice. He had thought he wouldn't hear it again after having suppressed the Hollow and put Zangetsu back in place. So why did the Hollow appeared again, and more importantly, why now?

I told you. Whenever you lose your instinct or your desire to fight, I'll be back to crush your skull and take your crown.

'Shut the fuck up and piss off!'

Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Thanks to that pansy ass Kuchiki, I'm getting stronger while you are getting weaker. If this keeps up just a little longer, I'll take over and become the king myself.

Ichigo snorted, 'Like hell you will.'

So what're you gonna do? Drown the inner world with that freaking rainstorm of yours, hoping that it'll submerge me before I can take over?

Ichigo could imagine the Hollow rolling its yellow eyes to add an effect.

Go ahead and be my guest. That rain only proves how weak you've let yourself become. The quicker you desolate my world, the faster I'll be out there to return your precious Byakuya a favor. So, tell me, what should I do to repay him for fucking you up so bad that I can finally take control?

'You won't be doing anything to him. I'm not letting you out. Now shut up and piss off before I get in there and beat the shit out of you.'

Ooh, protective much, aren't we? The Hollow commented in a mocking tone. Very interesting. I guess Zangetsu was right after all. You really do harbor some feelings for Kuchiki Byakuya.

Ichigo was about to deny it and told his Hollow that the head of the Sixth Division was nobody to him, but then he stopped himself.

At this point, he could no longer say that Byakuya was just a brother of his best friend or just someone he liked to bug on a daily basis just for fun. It had gone far beyond that, and if he were to be honest with himself, the feeling had started long before Byakuya first kissed him on an impulse.

What it was and when it had started, Ichigo still had no idea, but he knew it would be futile to deny it now. He would only drown himself deeper if he refused to deal with it. The reappearance of the Hollow could only prove that much.

'So what if I do? What are you gonna do about it?'

Now you're back to your feisty self. The Hollow drawled. Very good. But that's still not enough to make me recognize your strength again.

'Then I guess I have no other option but to get in there and eviscerate you.'

You can feel free to try, but if I were you, I'd be more concerned about surviving those stupid Hollows that are about to appear just this moment than about my presence.

"What the hell are you…?" Ichigo didn't finish his question when he was snapped out of reverie by some strong Hollow reiatsu. "Shit!"

Ichigo looked up into the sky that was now torn open by several huge skeleton hands before an Arrancar walked through that hole. Then the Arrancar was followed by numerous Gillians.

I'll be watching how weak you are without my help, King.

The captain of the Third Division glowered. For anyone who had defeated an Espada, slaying an Arrancar shouldn't be a difficult task. Yet since the Arrancar was accompanied by a lot of Menos, it could prove to be a problem. And to make the matter worse, his inner Hollow had to return and threaten to rebel just at that moment, which meant that when the Hollow said he wouldn't help, it didn't mean he would just sit back and watch, but instead, the Hollow would do everything in his power to refrain him from fighting at his full potential. He had done that once, and he was more than likely to do it again.

Glancing at the new recruits, Ichigo knew they wouldn't be much help in this situation since they still lacked fighting prowess to hold themselves against that class of Hollow. If they were to stay there any longer, he might also have to worry about protecting them.

"All of you go back to Seireitei and get me some backup," Ichigo commanded then added once he heard the Hollow laughing in the back of his mind, "A taichō would be an ideal."

"But, taichō…"

"Do as I say," Ichigo said curtly. "And hurry."

With that, Ichigo drew out Zangetsu and headed for battle. His underlings had no option but to follow the order, knowing deep down that even if they stayed back to help, they would only be holding their captain down.

TBC