Kili felt a deep and painful soreness working its way up from the spear in his foot. He knew it was the final straw that broke the camel's back (or was it the giraffe's back? He couldn't remember.) The world collapsed around him as he sank slowly down on to his knees, groaning theatrically. (foot still stuck in the ground.) Everything blurred as he stared at the sky on his back. Blood-loss had caught up with him. He didn't know how long he had been lying there before the first body came.
Plonk!
An Orc, killed by a dwarfish axe fell on top of him.
Thunk!
A warg.
He could feel the strain on his lungs growing greater with each new weight (THough all the bodies in the surrounding area managed to fall just in that spot was anyones guess.)
Suddenly a great shape blotted out all of the sky. Beorn, the skin-changer was falling down, down, down onto the pile-up (and by extent Kili.) Kili gasped as he felt his bones cracking and his organs being squished to jelly. He would not get up after that dashing blow.
Leggy scanned the battle-groud panicallly, searching for Kili. He saw a warg pass by with something in his mouth (was that Thorin's head?) he even saw some orcs torturing Fili with blunted paperclips (Legolas did not desire to help pesky "dwarves"… apart from one.) He had almost given up when he saw something with his super elf eyes.
( TIME SKIP)
The big 'L' gripped his lover's hand, hoping, praying.
"Leggles." the voice was thin and stuttery.
"I wish to see our child… just once more, before I die."
"Of course" said Legolas, tears tracking their way down his flawless cheeks. Two strong hands dipped into his quiver of arrows and promptly handed those arrows to Kili. The voice came again, this time more confused than week.
"Um… Legolas. I'm pretty sure that babies have arms and legs..."
"I know that!" came the annoyed reply.
"Just give me a sec will you?!"
The two hands went in yet again and brought out a beautiful baby.
"Um... How did he fit in the exactly" Kili frowned."Time Lord technology..."
"Right... okay..."
The father of the infant looked up at the other father and asked:
"Look after him, okay?"
"Always... unless he becomes a banker."
"unless he becomes a banker." Kili agreed and breathed his last breath.
FIN
BUT THIS IS NOT THE END. FOLLOW OUR PAGE TO KEEP UPDATED! WE WILL BE POSTING A SEQUEL! STAY TUNED! THERE WILL BE A SMALL EXTRACT IN THIS CHAPTER!
Mkay. So Butter wrote the sad part.
anyway, thats the end of that one but the sequel is coming. yaaaayyyy...
more strange au smut.
so any way time for the little sample. enjoy.
ps. sorry for the wait. were bad people who don't update stories because we were... uh... doing... uh... stuff (tumblr and anime on both our parts. we is ashamed.)
LEEKY THE SECOND. BOOK TWO!
Thranduil had summoned me. What did this mean? What did ada's ada want? He hates me because I'm half dwarf. It's not my fault. I climbed the steps up to his office where he was waiting for me. As I came to the door I halted, took a deep breath and turned the door handle.
Thranduil was busy playing 'just dance 3' on the wii. As soon as I came in he stopped, I killed the groove.
"Oh Leeky... you're early." he stuttered running to his wardrobe to change from his pink tracksuit he wore when doing indoor workouts. It was juicy obviously. As he took out his silver robe, I stared enviously at my grandfather's body. It was amazing. Such an ass did not deserve such an ass.
"I.. didn't want to keep you waiting.." I stammered, holding back my ass-enduced rage.
"Well a little notice would have been nice... OH NO I DIDN'T PAUSE GAME!"
"He ran from his wardrobe, his sweater hanging from his bare, ripped chest. This man was beautiful.
"Ugh.. noooo look at all the points I've lost! My stats on 'California Girls' has way gone down! They need to go up if I'm to defeat goddamn Celeborn!"
He retured to his wardrobe and began to remove his clothes, while hating on Celeborn because he had won a tournament against Thranduil at his own birthday party.
"... He acts like he's so perfect but we all know him and Galadriel smoke mallorn leaves on the weekend, and his robes are so tacky but Elrond still kisses his ass... Ooh I should wear this one instead!"
He selected a bronze robe and slipped it over his head. He then went off to fix his make up in the bathroom. I heard him open up youtube on his iPhone and begin to watch acacia videos. I was left waiting alone, sitting on a velvet seat in his office. Ada said I'd only have to be here for ten minutes then I could leave. It's been almost half an hour.
At long last, Thranduil came out looking amazing, to my annoyance.
"So. Take a seat Leeky." he said coldly.
I stared at him from my seat.
"Very good." he glided to his desk and sat down sighing while rubbing his forehead. He opened up his macbook an turned it on.
"So... Legolas has told me that you've been noticing changes in yourself."
My face went red and I stiffened in my seat. Why would Ada tell him that?! That was strictly confidential.
"I... uh... ye-yeah."
Thranduil typed quickly on his laptop then turned it to me. He was showing me a diagram of a young male elf.
"See, we're worried something's gone wrong. You're not turning out right."
I gulped.
"Probably because my other ada was dwarf."
"HE'S NOT YOUR OTHER ADA! " Thranduil yelled suddenly.
I was taken aback by this. I wanted cry and to smack him. He was my ada. Kili was my ada.
"... sorry..." he mumbled and turned the computer back to him.
"There have been other mixes like you, and they came out fine. But you..."
"... you have chicken legs."
I was ashamed. I looked down at my legs. They were long and spindly with hoops circling them all the way up to the crotch. My feet had turned to little yellow claws to match the legs.
"It'll go away." I stumbled.
"No.. There was one other before, like you... a skin changer."
That's all you're getting! HA! So what d'yo think? It'll be up in maybe like a few hours or days (there's not in between.) as a proper book.
anyway, farewell my loves. I hope you enjoyed this fic, we did.