A/N: oh another chapter. Hmm. I was more inspired to type this. It's longer too! 2 chapters left. Enjoyz.

Chapter Four

A Crystal view of Clemency

"So uh…what do you think?" I asked staring at my mom as she looked over the pamphlet of Gran Pulse and the program.

She made me my favorite drink to comfort my pain of rejection and the scent helped clear my mind from any unwanted negative feelings. She sat with me as I told her everything and she understood everything. She held me in her arms and whispered that everything would be alright, to just have hope.

I smiled at the thought.

Sometimes my given name has a good outcome towards my daily events.

She placed down the guide and gave a heartwarming smile but I could tell she was hesitant to accepting it. She didn't want to let me leave her at a young age to vast world of unknown even if there were going to be people there.

The environment would be extremely different to me as I recalled about Pulse's less technological structures and roaming feral animals.

"I'll have to think about it, but you also have to think it about it as well Hope. Don't do this based on hasted emotions of your heartbreak." She stated.

I nodded.

"I know, we have three days." I reminded her and she smiled and stood up.

"Well that's plenty of time to go over this with your father." She said and gave a small chuckle at my dreaded expression.

"Dad has to be in on this too?" I said in slight disagreement.

She walked over to the kitchen and I watched her prepare for tonight's dinner.

"Of course, it wouldn't be pleasant to find out his son has gone to the world below for three years. Would you imagine the response?" She teased in a light tone.

I sighed and made my way to help her with dinner.

"I guess so." I said and she ruffled my hair with compassion.

The preparation for dinner included small talk about the remarkableness of Vanille's clothing and the Academy. For once after my timeline of deep sorrow and inconsistency, I felt free and happy to be here with my mom. A true smile went over my features as I laughed along with my mom.

Dinner wasn't so uncomfortable and quiet anymore and I had a small conversation with my dad as well over my latest idea for a building design.

To say the least, I'd probably be holed up in my room sad and hurt, but my mom propositioned for me to go out and get some sun for my pale skin and enjoy the city's comfort.

I followed her advice and dressed in a light blue tank with a white sipper vest over it and slate gray knee length shorts. I tied the black lace of my small light bray boots and slipped on a yellow wrist band.

I narrowed my eyes at the sun beaming down on Palumpolum and I snapped open the latch for the gate and pushed it aside. I stepped down the stairs in a normal pace and hit the second floor lobby. I didn't linger to stare at Snow's front door and crossed the floor to get to the other set of stairs.

I had to unfortunate luck to bump into Serah and I stumbled back and caught her arm before she lost her footing and fell down.

I couldn't have Snow putting the blame that I tried to kill his wife or something.

She seemed a bit startled and I wondered if Snow told her about last evening. I muttered a soft sorry and gave a small wave and I continued down the stairs. It's better to leave that drama alone for now. I needed to get some time alone to clear my head of yesterday's events.

I left Felix Heights and started walking around Palumpolum's structure. I guess I'd have to say I'm a bit happy to be living in such an advanced city. People were walking around talking, sitting down and conversing or enjoying the great scenery. I hit the shops and killed time looking over models of building designs on the wall screen.

Online shopping was the city's height of commerce, but our stores had a lot to offer as well.

"Hey Hope!"

My named was being called and I turned to voice. I knew it wasn't Snow, although the cheerfulness was there. I smiled at the person.

"Hey Kai, no more calling me H?" I teased moving my attention away from the images.

He shrugged.

"H is for our budding friendship, full name for our tight respect and support. What are you doing out here?"

I rolled my eyes smiling.

"Hard to believe I take interest in coming out to the city's shops?" I raised a brow and he laughed.

"Right you're a teenager too. So uh how are things…?" He trailed off and I knew exactly what he was getting on. I smiled sadly and made my way around the store towards the books on Architecture.

"Well yesterday I confessed and got a negative response, I broke down, but I'm getting over it right now. My mom suggested I go out to have fun and stray from that thought it mind." I informed.

Kai gave a reassured smile.

"It's okay Hope; I know you'll pull through. Do you want to get some ice smoothies?" He presented with his content smile and enthralling two colored eyes. His honey hair was to the side with a slight bang covering his light blue eye.

I gave a nod.

"Yeah."

Kai loved the strawberry and lemon ice smoothie. I preferred the sour green apple and blue raspberry ice smoothie. Palumpolum gave the best ice smoothies.

We talked about new assignments we are doing in the Academy and other subjects of future goals. I didn't mention the Gran Pulse program; I would save that for another time when I knew for sure if I was allowed to go or not.

I wasn't acting on haste emotions.

Sure I was hurt and I went straight for the idea of going far away, but I know I'll make the right choice in the end.

I exited the ice smoothie parlor with Kai and smiled at him.

My lips were tainted blue and his red-pink. We gave each other matching expressions of humor and chuckled. I touched his shoulder and thanked him.

"No problem H." He bumped fists with me and I said my goodbyes with a heartwarming smile.

I continued on through the city going through the clothing shops. I don't care much about fashion, but I do like to keep my clothing proper and good looking. I spent the whole morning until afternoon in the city enjoying the fresh air.

I bought three different books about architecture, Gran Pulse, and mechanics.

I stepped down the pathway towards my apartment complex address in Felix Heights: a home friendly environment. I stepped onto the stair and entered the main lobby. I passed through the dim hallway with the open windows bringing the light source. I went up the stairs to the second floor lobby and headed to the third staircase.

I briefly glanced at the front entrance and went up the first step before I was stopped with a gentle hand on my arm.

I turned to look at Serah who has a small smile.

"Hope…would you like to come in? I made some lemon squares…" She asked in her smooth comforting voice.

I knew it had to be confronted sometime, but right now I'm still calm, so I'd rather pass. I gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you for the offer Serah, but I need to head home. Mandatory by mom's order." I said.

She gave a nod and pulled her hand away.

"Alright…"

I continued up and she called my name out again.

I turned to her and waited for what she wanted to say to me this time.

She looked hesitant at first and cradled her hands against her chest as she showed her inner struggle to speak to me. It was probably about that.

"Snow…he's-…He's very sorry Hope." She informed her eyes downcast.

I frowned slightly. I know you aren't very happy with it Serah, if you can't look at me in the eyes. It hurts you too and I should apologize, but Snow shouldn't send out you for this, he needed to face me and apologize then.

"I can appreciate the thought, but…maybe he should say it out loud to me. Thank you for telling me though, Serah." I spoke and went upstairs before she could stop me again.

I entered my home and dropped the bag on the kitchen table and greeted my mom. She was working on some papers. My dad the same…I greeted him as well.

They were quiet and I noticed the firm expression on my dad's face. So my mom told him about Gran Pulse then…

I sat down and waited to see if one of them would start a conversation. My mom dropped her pen down and smiled at me.

"How was your day in town?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"Good, I ran into Kai and we had ice smoothies. It was nice…"

"Was that coincidental or a planned date with him seeing as you don't mind liking guys." My dad's stern voice commented, but it wasn't filled with disgust.

I shifted my eyes towards my dad who glanced up at me and I turned to my mom who had her hands folded with a small frown.

Oh.

So she told him about that then.

I sighed.

"No dad it wasn't planned. My…interest in Snow…doesn't concern other males besides I don't like them any more than girls." I retorted gently.

My dad gave me a strong gaze as I returned it equally before he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"You seemed troubled lately the past few months and I wondered if he was the cause. I suppose it was but for different reasons. I do not like the concept of it and I knew he would be a bad influence-,"

He rose up his hand to stop me for responding to his insult of Snow and shook his head as he continued.

"…But I understand you went through a difficult time and you stayed mature about it. As long as he never did anything physical with you." He stated and held the tone of question as well.

I shook my head.

"He never did anything physically…intimate. He's married dad, and he never showed awareness towards me in that way. Don't worry…I'm getting over it." I replied.

My mom clasped her hands together.

"Then on the subject of important things, we can talk about the program." She brought up.

My dad sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and I knew that was his way of showing opposing a certain concept. My mom glanced between us and gave her serious expression.

"Hope I recognize that you're not in the best of moods right now, but Gran Pulse is a big place to go to and all of the work we have to do to even be allowed to go. You know how high security is with the subject of that place. It's a well defined program, but consider the risks you'd have." My dad commented.

I shifted in my seat and responded.

"I know the risks dad, and I'll spend the next three days thinking and learning about Gran Pulse. So please at least consider it…" I sounded as desperate as Vanille when she gave me the pamphlet. I wondered briefly where she stayed here in Palumpolum or if she went all over Cocoon as well.

My mom touched my dad's hand and she smiled with comfort.

"How about we think about this together tonight? I know it's a hard thing to consider, but we'll try for Hope right?" She suggested.

My dad gave a short nod and looked at my eyes.

"Alright Hope we'll think about this but we don't have a positive answer yet. Tomorrow perhaps or the day after."

I nodded deciding not to press any further. He had already known about Snow and Gran Pulse, I didn't want to add any more pressure or discomfort on him. I stood up and announced I'd be reading my books in my room.

I entered my bedroom and locked the door, a small habit I had and laid out the three books on my bed. A small beep sounded in my room as I glanced at the flat screen on my wall. The flashing blue light presented itself on the corner side which meant I had an incoming video message.

Only my mom and dad knew my home's video message number to my room, and Kai as well, but nobody else…

I stepped over to the digital screen and pressed the green button and moved back as the screen flashed to the scenery of a living room. I crawled on top of my bed and seated upright crossing my legs and bring the Gran Pulse booklet to my lap.

I waited for the image to be clearly shown and in a matter of seconds I vaguely recognized the place save for the different decorations.

Snow's living room.

I frowned and crossed my arms as Snow was perfectly viewed sitting down on the sofa. I glanced around for Serah but she was nowhere in sight.

I kept my solid gaze on Snow.

"How did you reach my video message number?" I called out.

Snow didn't reply and instead his started his own part.

"Hope…I am sorry for how I reacted yesterday. I was shocked to say the least, and it was wrong of me to provoke you like that."

I rolled my eyes and clenched my grip.

"You provoked me alright, but I was brave enough to just spill it out, or else I still would've been shy and troubled around you holding this in. I've changed Snow, I'm the real me except I just don't want anything to deal with you right now." I truthfully stated.

Yes it was true that I still held that emotion of slight love for Snow and maybe my need to forgive him was strong, but I was stronger and I wouldn't let it win. I had to be mature about this.

Snow sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm a jerk, sure, and maybe a slight coward for not trying to understand your feelings, but I want to still be a part of your life Hope. You're special to me remember? We can't let…what you felt for me ruin this right?"

He was right. He was reasonable too. I would've said the same thing if he had stayed to listen.

I glanced down and stared at the book of Gran Pulse.

"I…I get that Snow…and maybe later on I can be fully okay with being around you, but right now…I can't and…I might be leaving." I spoke softly but I knew he heard me clearly.

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Leaving? Where to…?"

I held up my book.

"A met a Pulsian girl on my way to school…the day I confessed to you. She was offering this program to go with her to Gran Pulse and I'm considering it. Mom and Dad are as well…" I informed.

Snow stood up and stepped forward coming a little closer to the screen.

"Gran Pulse? Kiddo that's below Cocoon and filled with a different environment! You can't possibly think of leaving just like that."

I narrowed my eyes.

"It's my choice and I want to go. Perhaps I'll clear my head better and learn new concepts of Gran Pulse."

"So then you are the one running away." He said.

I placed the book down and glared.

"I'm not running away. Don't put words into my mouth. This is a chance to broaden my learning background."

If this is how it's going to be from now on with Snow, constant debates of disagreement, angry expressions, bitter words, and more…then Gran Pulse is at best for me. I couldn't stand to have our roles reversed.

From friendship to differences.

He seemed to get the situation at hand; our moods were unstable right now.

"Alright…" He said and took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to me.

"I'm sorry for offending you in any way…I never intended to hurt you Hope… I truly care for you." He spoke gently and I softened my expression.

I nodded shortly.

"It's for best Snow…we can't-…I can't control my emotions around you, but I don't hate you just so you know." I confessed in whisper.

He cracked a small smile.

"I can never hate you kiddo and I'm not disgusted or anything about your feelings…I suppose I just needed time to take it in."

"That's what Lightning and I talked about at your wedding." I stated.

He gave me a questioning look.

"At your wedding…I wasn't all too happy…you know. But Lightning said she knew I liked you like that and we both agreed on my getting over you. Turns out it happened in a different manner then I had planned." I informed.

He smiled.

"Lightning is hard to please, but she gives the best advice she knows when to be helpful."

I smiled back and brushed my hair to the side.

He grinned and placed his hands on his hips.

"Now that's the Hope I know and see right there." He announced.

My heart did beat a bit faster and perhaps I felt happier, but I knew it that soon it would just be a feeling of contentment. I love Snow…I do still, but I will get over him soon.

I chuckled softly and bit down on my lip with an embarrassed smile, my cheeks flushed with color and a pleased feeling.

"You're adorable ya know?" Snow commented.

My eyes widen a bit. What was he…? I was feeling a bit more flushed and a small displeased pout formed.

He laughed.

"You are someone I care for Hope and soon you'll find that person who will love you equally." He stated with reassurance.

"Yeah don't patronize me with words that will make me still like you…" I muttered.

He crossed his arms giving a humorous smile.

"I thought it was love?"

I stood up.

"That's it I'm going to end this call now if you continue." I threatened my heated blush obvious.

He laughed.

"I kid…I kid. Can you come over now?" He asked.

I thought about it. Was I ready to face him? Well I suppose he was supposed to face me and he did via technology. Still…

I sighed and smiled.

"I actually like lemon squares you know." I said and he grinned further.

"That's what I like to hear. I'll be waiting."

The video message ended and I touched my face and smiled warmly.

Yes…I still love him, but now I feel like a weight lifted from my shoulders and I knew that we could be back to our past selves and soon I'd be over him.

Hoping.