As soon as we get on the train, Effie starts some sort of speech that I once again ignore. The train is beautifully decorated, but I can't help thinking that the money used to pay for such decorations should have been put to better use – there are people starving, yet the Capitol wastes gold on pointless things. It's not like the District 12 tributes would care if the tables were made from cheap wood instead of mahogany, or if the chandeliers were replaced with simple lightbulbs. I glance at Theros. He's staring into an empty glass, dully admiring it. I don't want to talk to him, and I'm sure that he doesn't want to talk to me, so I go to find Haymitch as soon as Effie has finished talking.
I find Haymitch in the part of the train where the drinks are – I didn't have to look very hard for him.
"Ah! So here's our female tribute!" He slurs as I enter the train compartment. He's drunk, as usual, but I expected nothing less.
"Hey," I greet Haymitch, and sit beside him.
"So, what can I do for you? You want a drink before you die?"
I was half expecting this. Though I was hoping for some help, I knew that he wouldn't be able to give me much.
"Erm," I stutter, "I was actually hoping for some advice."
Haymitch hiccups, then giggles like a small child. I may have initially underestimated his drunkenness. However, he then looks me in the eyes, dead seriously, as if the alcohol's effects have suddenly worn off.
"Sweetheart, there is one piece of advice I can give you." His words are still slurred. "When you get into the arena, there'll be a countdown from 60. Now, if you step off that platform before the countdown is over you'll be blown to smithereens – dead in an instant."
He stops talking, and I look at him, confused. After a brief pause, I ask, "so, what's your advice?"
Haymitch hiccups again, but still stares seriously into my eyes.
"Step off of the platform."
I feel the blood rush from my head. What is he suggesting?
"But… but that'll kill me! You're our mentor, you're meant to help us!"
Haymitch stands up. He's taller than I thought, and looks quite intimidating as he glares down at me.
"I am helping you, sweetheart. Those mines will kill you instantly. It'll save you the pain of dying from dehydration or infection."
I stare at Haymitch incredulously. Light-headedness washes over me and my vision blurs and starts to fade, but since I am sat down I can't faint.
The door slams open, and the sound helps the dizziness to pass. Theros is stood in the doorway.
"Effie wants to see you," he says. His voice is deeper and thicker than usual, laced with sorrow and despair. I stand, my eyes still fixed on Haymitch, and exit.
"Thanks, Theros," I say as I pass him in the doorway. "And I'm sorry."
"Me too," he responds. We stare at each other for a moment, as if we had shifted into another dimension. Then Theros coughs and I quickly leave the compartment. I hear a jeer from Haymitch, something about us being lovers, but I definitely don't see Theros in that way.
After not listening to Effie's usual nonsense – something about our "wonderful" and "magnificent" accommodation, I think – I go to sit in an empty compartment with comfy sofas to think about what Haymitch said. As terrible as it sounds, to an extent, I want to do what Haymitch suggested. It would be over quickly. But I promised Siana that I would try, and the thought of giving up on her is too much to bear. She's more than just a friend – there's something special between us, like we can tell what the other is thinking, feeling. I don't know if it's love, but it might be, and I could never let her down. Never.
After a few hours, I hear an excited scream and the door to my compartment (I've taken to calling it that since I'm the only one in here) opens. Effie bounces in, followed by an ever inebriated Haymitch. Theros traipses behind them. He has a strange look in his eyes; I wonder if Haymitch gave him the same piece of "advice" as he did me.
"We're here!" Effie chirps, much too happily for my liking. "Look out of the window, darling! Look!"
Half rolling my eyes, I draw back the curtain. My expression changes to that of astonishment, however, when I see the Capitol. Lights litter the sky and ground, and tall, extravagant buildings rise from the earth. We go through a tunnel, which gives me just enough time to tear my eyes away and shoot Effie an astonished look. She grins widely, and I turn back to the window.
Thousands of people are crowded, all trying to get closer to the train, looking for the faces of their tributes. Effie pushes Theros towards the window, and we both look out at the Capitol citizens. They are unlike anybody in District 12 – all have strange makeup smothered on their faces, which also seem contorted to be unnatural. And they're all smiling. I've never seen so much happiness in my life, and just for a moment, I forget about what is ahead and their happiness rubs off on me and I smile too.