Chapter 4
Grimmjow was brought out of his for once, peaceful slumber as he heard the doors next to him creak open. To his surprise, a shuddering Rukia dragged herself out obviously finding it difficult to stand. The instant the doors fell closed; she fell to her knees grasping the ground.
He wasn't quite sure what to do, having never been in a situation anything like this before.
Was he meant to talk to her?
Was he meant to help her?
Maybe.
He grunted, pushing himself up before walking over to where she had collapsed. He could hear her take multiple sharp breaths, as if she was in immense pain, which if he was to be completely honest actually worried him.
Why would she be in pain?
It was just a meeting, right?
Wait, wait, wait, why did he even care?
He scowled, shaking his head clear of the confusing thoughts that seemed to swirl endlessly round and round. Sighing, he decided she would need to get back to her room, and she didn't appear to be in the best condition to make it alone. Seeing as it was his original mission to escort her, he decided on helping her out.
Yes, it was only because it was his mission, absolutely nothing else.
He grasped her arm roughly, before slinging it over his shoulder as gently as he could, which again, to most people would still seem rough and careless. She obliged by draping her other arm around his shoulder and proceeding to screw her eyes shut. Grimmjow began to walk back to her room as he felt her shivering against his back.
Was she cold?
Once again, he found himself confronted with a situation he'd never encountered before, forcing him to do one of the things he was never….'great' at- improvise.
Slowly, he changed his grip on her arm slightly, before pulling her shoulder over his so she toppled forward. He caught her with ease as he broke into a run towards her room, all the while carrying her bridal style.
"Damn, you're so much trouble midget." He muttered in-between breaths. Her lips twitched upward slightly, indicating that she heard his remark but was in no position to retort. In no time, he bashes open the doors before striding over to the single bed. With as much care as he could muster, he plopped her onto her bed before standing back up and scowling deeply.
"Yeesh, you've caused me so much trouble tonight, midget."
True, unofficially he had decided her new name was midget, and because he had yet to receive an elbow to the face, he had every right to assume that she was ok with it…yeah...right. He knew just how much it pissed her off, and that was exactly why he decided upon it…that and well….she really was a midget.
He just prayed she wouldn't start calling him kitty again…god he hated that nickname.
"Grimmjow…" his name being called out brought him back to the situation at hand.
"I remember."
Those two words made his brain freeze.
She remembered?
She remembered everything that happened, including him well….ripping her heart out?
Did she hate him?
Damn, it happened again, why should he care if she hates him!
It's better that way.
He gazed down at her amethyst eyes as he began to lose himself in their depths. He saw endless emotions swirling around giving her eyes a glazed appearance, and yet….hate was not among them. As if reading his thoughts she spoke softly.
"No, I don't hate you. I just….don't understand…" Grimmjow couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.
"What don't ya' get? Don't tell me your brain is like your height and stopped growing too early." He snickered but received an elbow to the groin in response.
"Midget!" he roared, while clutching 'that' area tenderly…god that hurt.
"Idiot…What I don't get is why I can't feel them." He lifted his head at this as his jaw dropped slightly, giving him an appearance of a fish out of water.
"Care to explain?" he asked, attempting to walk over to the desk to grab the chair. It was still rather difficult seeing as a certain area was excruciatingly painful thanks to a certain midget… he grabbed the chair and dragged it next to her bed before taking a seat slowly. She was fidgeting her thumbs and glancing anywhere but his eyes.
"Spit it out, midget." She growled at her new nickname, attempting to land a hit on the back of his head, though he was fast enough to dodge it….just.
"It's just…back, back before I woke up. There was one memory that played through my head, and it was the only thing I could hold on to. It was so real, and I remember what I felt exactly as the memory was playing… and yet….before, with Aizen. He, he offered to show me my memories….I accepted of course, but as I was watching them, it felt…different. It felt as exactly that, I was just watching them, I can't remember what I felt, or why I smiled, or frowned. It feels as if the memories are there…but at the same time they're not…."
Grimmjow rubbed the back of his head as he struck a thoughtful pose. He honestly had no idea what she was getting at, and decided not to let it show.
She might think he was an idiot! Wait, why did he care again?
Damn it, he wasn't meant to care what she thought.
Bad Grimmjow…he mentally scolded himself while the raven-haired arrancar just sat watching him expectantly.
It took him a moment to grasp that she was awaiting a response.
"Ah, well um... I think…you should just sleep on it, and it'll be clearer tomorrow." He attempted a smile, but it came out as a backwards frown.
True, a backwards frown should technically be a smile, but yet even with the corners of his lips twitched up; he still managed to pull off a scowl.
Rukia raised an eyebrow at his expression; it was like he was trying to offer her some reassurance…the key word there was trying.
She laughed on the inside at his expression, but decided to keep silent for the time being. In truth, she was actually grateful he was spending time with her and…'reassuring' her and taking her mind of…other things.
She would never admit it out loud, but she enjoyed his company.
She realized this time it was him waiting for her response so she nodded curtly before flopping back down to gain some well earned rest.
Grimmjow could feel something weird happening to his face…it was moving on its own! He sat there for a minute trying to figure out just what the hell was going on, before he realized that HE, Grimmjow Jaggerjaques, the sixth freaking Espada, was SMILING.
No, not scowling, frowning or sighing.
Not smirking out of bloodlust, and not even the slightest bit sadistic, but in…happiness?
What the hell was this girl doing to him!
He scoffed, when they trained together, he was so going to make her pay.
Halt….they were going to train together?
When did his brain decide that?
He snarled as his expression once again turned into a scowl. He didn't know exactly what was going on with him, but he knew it was all this 'Kuchiki Rukia's' fault.
"Gin, you can come out now." Aizen remarked casually, while taking another sip of his tea. Footsteps echoed throughout the dark room as said man drew closer, still wearing his eerie 'smile'.
"Why'd ya do that, captain?" Aizen allowed a smirk to cross his features as he ran his hand through his hair.
"So she doesn't remember." He replied simply, taking another sip of his beverage. Gin tilted his head to the side slightly, thoroughly confused as to what to make of the 'explanation'.
"But didn't ya just show lil' Rukia-chan her memories?" Aizen chuckled at this while nodding slowly.
"I did exactly that Gin. I showed her, so she wouldn't remember." Gin once again was slightly confused as to what exactly he meant. Surely they were the same thing?
"Did you tamper with the memories or somthin'?" He asked, trying to probe for some sort of hint.
"No, they were 100% her real memories." Gin actually opened his eyes into slits as the cold, crimson orbs shone in the darkness.
"Then why? Surely she'll just betray us now. Dontcha' know?" Aizen shook his head slowly, once again reaching for his soothing drink.
"She won't, because she doesn't have a reason to. And besides, even if she did, she would have nowhere to go. As an arrancar, she would be hunted endlessly by soul society, and if she stayed in Hueco Mundo, what would be the point? Now Gin…do you know the difference in remembering events, and being shown them?"
Gin shook his head slowly in response as Aizen continued on with an air of smugness.
"The difference is when you do not possess the memory, only 'watch' it, you can't 'feel' it to say. Even if you're shown and you know what the memories were, you don't remember them, and therefore, you don't remember how you felt. You don't remember what it felt like to be with the people in the memory, you can't tell if you were happy or say or angry, you become a spectator in your own life…You see Gin, that's why I showed her. If she knows what happened, she won't try to remember the feelings, and therefore, the bonds will weaken until they disappear completely."
Gin's smile widened at the explanation, if that was possible seeing as it already stretched from ear to ear.
"That's somthin' you got goin' there, ain't it? My, my, what else are you goin' to put dear Rukia-chan through?" Aizen simply smiled, finishing off his tea.
"Much, much more Gin. As of tomorrow, she gets to watch as her 'friends' mistake the illusion in place of her. She can watch and see how much they actually know her…" he trailed off, playing with the stray strand of hair that rested on his forehead.
"Now, the fun really begins…"
Ichigo looked like hell.
Literally.
After their group's encounter with Grimmjow and the other arrancar, it felt as though control of his own body was slipping through his fingers.
The nightmares weren't helping either…
He watched the scene unable to react in time, as Grimmjow used some sort of flash step, and then proceeded to dig his hand into Rukia's stomach. He had gone enraged, and charged wildly, fighting…Well not really, just plain old getting his ass kicked for the next ten minutes.
For some reason, an ex captain had appeared, dragging Grimmjow back into Hueco Mundo. He still remembered crouching over Rukia's body, watching helplessly as Inoue attempted to heal her. True, she succeeded in bringing the raven-haired shinigami back to life, but Ichigo felt a tremendous guilt knowing what happened was his fault.
With this in mind, he set off to find the Vizard's, which he managed to without too much of a struggle.
He hoped…well more like prayed that by going there, the nightmares would stop.
They didn't.
Every single time, it would be the same scene. The same one he encountered before, except that Grimmjow didn't just punch a hole in her, he ripped her beating heart out. He didn't understand why it just kept coming back, and it felt so real to! If they didn't stop, he was sure he was going to go insane.
Ever since they began, he found himself checking up on Rukia more than usual, and on the outside she seemed fine, yet he couldn't stop feeling like something was wrong.
Even training with the Vizard's did little to stop the worries gnawing at his consciousness.
"Aizen said to give you this." Grunted a frustrated looking Grimmjow.
He had been asleep until minutes earlier, still waiting for Rukia to wake up. It had been almost two days since the meeting with Aizen, and she had still to wake.
Concern continued to seep into his heart, and found himself rarely leaving her side. In fact, the meeting with Aizen was only the second time since she fell asleep.
The first was to ward off that sick bastard, Nnoitora who seemed to have an interest in the unconscious girl. Grimmjow didn't know what it was, but the thought of Nnoitora with her, made him feel horrible. A small voice in the back of his mind continued to remind him that it was 'jealousy', and….that voice could just go to hell.
There was no WAY he was jealous…or concerned.
No, it was just a mission…just a mission.
He continued to tell himself that, but no matter how many times he said it, it still didn't feel right.
He was resting until a maid called for him to meet with Aizen. Now, being who he was, he wasn't all that eager to talk with that shinigami dictator, but did his best to hide his animosity.
The orders had been simple.
'Take this orb, give it to Rukia when she wakes, and tell her she can view her friends.' Simple enough, and yet…he found himself not wanting her to see them…to even think about them!
She wasn't like them anymore, so why had Aizen done this?
Surely this would just make it harder for her?
He sighed once more, snapping back to the present. Because fate hated him, she had of COURSE woken up in the 10 minutes he was out of the room.
Just my luck!
"What is it?" she slurred, her voice thick with sleep having been unused in days. Grimmjow scratched the back of his head thoughtfully, trying to decide whether to tell her the truth. He made his decision, but not before choosing to gain something out of it…
"Ah, well it lets us view what you're….'friends' are doin'" He responded, passing the orb to her carefully. She nodded, eyes wide with wonder all the while twinkling merrily.
Cute
….wait, what? There's no way that midget looks cute! Ugh, I need sleep.
Seeing his conflicted expression, she grinned before patting the spot next to her and moving over slightly. She picked up on the use of the word 'us', as well as his nervous expression as she guessed that he wasn't meant to watch it with her. She didn't mind though, in fact, she would have asked him to join her if he hadn't asked first.
You see, even though she was unconscious the whole time, she felt his reitsu next to her the whole time. Most people would find it frightening, very wild and untamed, randomly bursting with energy one moment before collapsing the next, yet she found it comforting.
He complied and moved to sit down next to her. The bed was surprisingly warm, as he now occupied more than half.
"Let's give it a go." She encouraged, before holding out the glowing object in front of her.
Grimmjow couldn't stop the genuine smile from spreading across his face as he grabbed it too, coincidentally placing both his hand around hers.