Lol I was reading too many fanfics and I got inspired. XD TO WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER! :DD

Chapter Four: Tu Sei Pazza!

Shadow's POV

The first day of the trip was the longest.

Percy, Sonica, and Mehime, the three cosmetologists, shared a carriage with me. They gave me a morning to do nothing, but once we had lunch, they immediately started their lessons on women and how they should behave. I was pelted with facts.

"You are to sit up with a straight back, King Shadow."

"You are not allowed to make any brash movements. Always move slowly, elegantly, like you're always balancing a stack of books on your head."

"Do not use unladylike language. Like 'squelch' or 'butt.' And try not to make odd sounds."

"Remember to always look people in the eye when you're talking to them!"

"Never spread your legs, whether it be stretching or by accident. Do not spread your legs. It is very unladylike."

"Remember to wear dresses tight around the waist, never loose around the waist. This way, it will show off a lady's curves and also make her seem like she is skinny."

Yes, yes, understood.

I rubbed and massaged my temple as I tried to cram all the information into my head. But as soon as I was done trying to remember the first few, they spat out more. It was seemingly endless, the rules for a female. Merda, how in hell am I supposed to get used to this?

It went on all the way until it was evening, without a single break. By then, my head was steaming from over usage.

When the four of us had finished a few cans of olives and another few sips of wine as an evening snack, I was already feeling drowsy. I laid down on my seat and stared out my window. There were so many spots of white…I tiredly searched for constellations. But not after a couple of seconds, my vision began to blur. I let out a sigh before closing my eyes.

Before I could sleep, though, I heard a voice. "King Shadow?" it asked.

"Yes, Mehime?" I answered sleepily.

I barely took in the information before I passed out. But I managed to catch it. "Are you really okay with marrying Sonic of Sheldon?"

"Mmh."

XXX

I woke up before everyone else because of how early I had slept. Seeing that the coachman had noticed I was awake because of the shuffling noises I had made, I smiled and nodded a good morning to him.

Then, my gaze traveled to where slivers of sunlight appeared. The sunlight peeked through the cracks of the trees' leaves, timidly rising. I stuck my hand out the opening. Cool air hit my palm, as my mind took in the dampness of the morning. I looked over at the nearby plain of grass. It was glistening with dew.

My lips twitched slightly upwards. Being locked in the castle hadn't given me a chance to get out and enjoy these simple yet breathtaking views. Walking in the dim lights of dawn is an indescribable feeling. It feels like you're experiencing the process of how the gods above are making the night before into the next day.

But it only lasts for a few minutes until you see the first few traces of morning coming on. The sun then rises, and the sky brightens to a lighter blue. And that's when everything seems more alive, more awake. The birds start chirping, the butterflies start flying around without a care. And then that lasts for another few minutes before the first few people wakes up. Soon, everything roars to life, and doesn't die down until near midnight.

Feeling like I should think more about how to act and review what the girls had told me yesterday, I sat up straight and took a few books to balance on my head. After finally getting it to stay, I tried to move my arms around without them falling off. Many times I had failed. Sighing, I stayed frozen before slowly raising my right hand. The books didn't move. Inching my left hand up as well, I bit my lip before stretching them into a smile. The books hadn't fallen.

I then set my arms down again. The next thing I wanted to try was…moving around. I shifted towards the window. I was almost at my destination before the carriage went up from a bump in the road and the books slipped off my head. I caught them just in time before they fell to the floor, making not a sound. Now probably wasn't the best time to be practicing with books.

Setting them aside, I thought about what we could possibly talk about in a conversation with Sonic. Maybe…

"Good morning to you, my love. I trust you had slept well?" he could ask.

"Mm. It was quite nice." I could then blush and look down. 'My love'. He called me his love. "How is everything going?"

"Everything's fine. But from your behavior…I'm just worried that something might be bothering you." He could snake his arm around my shoulder and pull me closer…and could put his thumb under my chin and look me in the eyes with his intense, green…serious…hypnotizing ones... "Tell me…is there anything I can help you with?"

Then, there is a possibility that my breath will hitch before stuttering out, "N-no…nothing at all, d-dear. Don't you worry." And I would then look away, with sweat starting to form underneath my clothing.

And then he would pull me onto his lap and turn my head around with his warm hands and lean in close and-

"…ing Shadow. King Shadow? Are you alright, sir?"

I put on a nervous smile. "Yes, everything's fine. Thank you for your concern, however. I am fine."

I then noticed that my eye sight was a bit unfocused and dilated. My breath wasn't so steady either. I didn't feel them with my hands, but I knew my cheeks were burning, too.

I looked out the window again, trying to calm myself. "Goddamn, my mind really got me good…"

We had bread for breakfast, which, I had finished pretty fast. And then I got scolded.

"That's no way to eat, King Shadow! You must chew thoroughly, whether you're a lady or not!"

I looked down at my empty plate and then over at theirs. They were still finishing off the other half of the bread they had left.

"Well, maybe your ways are simply too slow, Sonica," I replied, getting a little sick of their 'do this, do that.'

Cindy looked offended. Her green eyes narrowed before ripping another tiny piece from her bread and chewing for an eternity, refusing to look at me. The next time she ripped another piece, instead of eating it herself, she took my hands and placed the bread in between my fingers. "Eat like I had."

I stared at it. I'm the king! How dare she-?

"If you don't eat it in five seconds I will personally feed this to you and keep doing it until you get it right. We are not in Ethend anymore, may I remind you…King Shadow. In fact, we had just passed the border line right…over there." She pointed towards a couple of boulders in the grassy plains, a few meters behind us.

…You know what happened after.

XXX

Some force-feeding, scolding, yells of discontent and curses occurred during the last hour.

When we were taking an afternoon nap, I muttered out to the girls, "Tu sei pazza."

Because they honestly were. How can girls and women live like this? Doing everything so slow is going to kill me.

Then, in the afternoon, they gave me another lesson.

"Pretend I am Sonic of Sheldon," Percy said as she tried to look serious and act like a king. "What would you say to me? How would you act?"

I tried. I really tried. But the way she looked was ridiculous. There was no way I could imagine her as Sonic! As she tried to keep her eyebrows low and furrowed, her cheek muscles twitched from trying to keep a scowl. I can't say anything without letting out a choked laugh. "Percy, this isn't going to work," I said at last.

"Why not?" she asked, her facial expressions finally back to normal.

"I can't pretend you're Sonic. I also can't quite concentrate with that face you're making."

Then, Sonica suggested that she play the role of King Sonic. "I have green eyes. It should help a little, right? I also have blue quills. This should work. What do you think?"

I nodded. "Hopefully."

And the little game of pretend started. Sonica started off sighing and slumping back against the cushions, closing her eyes.

I tried my best to make a concerned face. "Is everything alright, dear?"

Sonica slowly opened one eye to look at me. "Yes, everything's fine. Just a little bit stressed, that's all."

I tilted my head to the side. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, quite sure." She opened both her eyes and stared intensely into mine. Sonica is Sonic…Sonic is Sonica…God those cobalt quills sure did look inviting right now…

Then, she wiggled her eyebrows, probably trying to indicate me to do something, and momentarily, I was pulled back into reality, where the Sonic wasn't there, and there were simply three girls accompanying me.

But I was quickly pulled back into the game when I heard another gruff sigh from the other. He pinched the skin right above his nose and tried to relax.

"I don't suppose…you would like a massage right now?" I slowly scooched closer and closer to him until I felt his arms press against mine. I then sneaked my hands over to his tense shoulders and slowly kneaded them. I shivered as I heard the satisfied groans coming from his throat. "Feeling better, love?" I whispered.

"Mmh…much…" he then turned around and stared into my eyes again, with a grin. "I need to thank you…"

My eyes traveled to his lips, and suddenly found the urge to cover it with mine. It just seemed right to be doing it in this scene…but I had a feeling I shouldn't.

But it wasn't my choice when Sonic closed in. And just before our lips could meet, just when I felt his puffs of warm breath against my face, he uttered the one word that ended everything. "Cut."

I stayed like that for a while. But when I completely woke up from the little pretend game, I crashed back into my seat. "I don't want to do that ever again."

Sonica smirked. "Really? It kind of seemed like you were almost…wanting it to happen."

My eyes widened as I shot down her suggestion. "No! What makes you think that? No! Absolutely not! It is just the fact that I'm too good at acting."

"If you say so, Shadow," she sang, her smug expression never leaving.

Tu sei pazza…

Sorry guys. About the cosmetologists. At first I had them named Rosa, Cindy, and Nicoletta, but then I suddenly had an idea and…yeah…

PERCY AND SONICA AND MEHIME HAS TIME TRAVELED TO THE MEDIEVAL TIMESSSSSSS. XD

Pictures of them can be found on DeviantART by the accounts of PercyJacksonRules123, SonicaTheHedgehog000, and XxShadowFallxX.

And who's proud of me? I remembered some Italian. XDD I didn't use Google Translate!~~ CUZ SCREW THAT I DON'T HAVE INTERNET HERE.

Anyway, next chapter is when the marriage ceremony happens~ I think. So I hope you guys will look forward to it~~~ Alright, Percy's out~

Tu sei pazza = You're crazy

Merda = Shit