Well, this time around I wanted try out a little bit longer and angstier story with actual connections to real life. Hmm, my inspiration was my dearest friend, who is my everything. I hope you do enjoy this one and feel that crushing feeling too so that in the end you can be set free. FEEL THIS. Hopefully you will share your thoughts about this one with me. I sound so depressing…haha.

Please do not flame (I do not find a reason for it so you better not either). I apologize for the possible misspellings and other errors.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SASUNARU/NARUSASU STORIES TOO AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!

Pairing: Sasuke x Naruto

Summary: Pain, painkillers, loneliness and then that someone sat next to you. You did not want him there, but needed him to support you even if it hurt. Naruto, are you able trust Sasuke - trust that he will carry you no matter what? SasuNaru, M for SEX

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the characters or whatsoever (do not sue me Mr. Kishimoto), I am just loaning them and returning to the rightful owner (Mr. Kishimoto).

I sit in my apartment on my sofa reading the book I found from the library. Suddenly the doorbell rings and I go open it. Behind the door Sasuke leans against my doorframe his expression being somewhere between pissed and neutral. He just walks past me inside and does not even ask whether it is okay by me. Not that he would ever ask. I close the door gently and I just stand in the middle of the room since I do not know what I am supposed to do. He walks back and forth and seems to be thinking something really hard.

I decide to go back sitting on the sofa, but before I get to do that he asks whether I slept with her. My knees give upon me and I am damn happy that the sofa is under me. Why was she wearing your clothes, he continues his row of questions. He does not even let me open my mouth so I keep silent. The wrong question leaves my mouth accidentally as I ask "why". Now he looks really pissed and somewhat tired at the same time. He comes to sit next to me and I flinch a little since he looks so angry. Was Hinata a good fuck, he snarls and I do not even notice that I have started to scratch my skin again. Was Sasuke interested in Hinata? But did he not have a girlfriend already?

He buries his head in his hands again and pulls his own hair so hard his head yanks back and forth. No, I say and prevent him from hurting himself by holding his arms. Quick to save others but not yourself, he says almost crying. Then he presses his bruised lips against mine, slowly yet being somewhat scared. I drown in the kiss letting him lick my lips, and his tongue, which travels in my mouth, tastes like blueberries. I rub my tongue against his and my whole mouth is on fire. How I missed this…tears roll down my cheeks and his hands begin gently to slide on my arms and skin. He breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to my arms, sucking and licking the scars. My whole body shivers as his wet tongue explores the sins on my skin.

Sasuke pulls me into an embrace and I cry. He shushes at me and I sink my head into his chest. Let me inhale you…His fragrance fills me with energy, releasing the butterflies from my stomach. His chilly fingers sneak to unbutton my shirt and I do not resist even the slightest. My shirt falls off from my shoulders on to the sofa and Sasuke buries his head to the nook between my shoulder and neck. I…I want to save you, he whispers. I was so scared when you collapsed back then…I…I realized that you had become the most precious person to me, he continues. I cannot help the tears. Maybe it was all over with my girlfriend a long time ago and then there was you and…I kind of fell for you, his voice fills my ears like a birdsong.

I am so scared since I do not know what to do with these emotions. I want Sasuke to be near, hold be, but at the same time I want to run - like I always do. His fingers fumble their way on my skin and it feels so good and so scary. My body begins to shiver and that familiar flow of tears is falling rabidly along my cheeks and jaw. I am so scared, I sniff. He flinches a little at first and then shushes, sorry, sorry, we do not have to do anything, he whispers and strokes my uncovered skin. I am sorry, he sighs and pulls me closer to him. My face is against Sasuke's chest and I inhale the scent of cigarettes and cosiness. We stay like that for a long time him giving me little kisses to my neck and shoulders. Sweet nonexistence.

I feel like floating and everything bad seems to disappear without a trace. The path of kisses burn my skin; burn the evil off and I feel like I am exorcised. More, I murmur silently without even realizing what I am saying. His hands slide on my skin, conquering new territories and lovingly holding me. I want to be loved so badly that the feeling of need is carving itself into my heart. Sasuke moves his hands carefully on to my crotch and leaves them there as if asking permission. I nod shyly keeping my eyes closed and he unzips my pants with utmost care. Ever so slowly he slides his hand inside my boxers and his fingers feel chilly when touching my foreskin. I huff a little already and he begins to yank my skin back and forth.

It does not take that much time until the tip of my member is slick with precum and Sasuke's movements only grow faster. He jerks me off, kissing me the whole time, keeping me steady and I merely shiver like a leaf under his touches. My cheeks feel so hot and the bliss blinds me as I think that the guy, this amazing cool guy, is touching me, wanting me to feel good. Why? Before I can do or say anything I reach the peak and burst into his hand and in my pants. The orgasm is as vast and deep as an ocean, making my stomach hurt and I cannot help the moans that leave my lips like birds from their cages.

I feel drained but somehow content - yet, utterly guilty when I realize I was the only one being satisfied. Should I jerk him off too; what should I do? The nauseous feeling is raising its head inside me and my breathing becomes unstable. Sasuke just pulls me even closer so that our skin is almost one and whispers that I do not have to do anything. I feel good like this, he says smilingly. Then he kisses my eyelids and my forehead. The warm wave hits me and my head is light like a feather. Stay, I whisper as I yet again bury myself into him. Sure, he replies and we head for my bead. We both leave only boxers on and crawl under my blanket. Sasuke encircles me with his arms and we fall asleep holding each other.

This must be love, this must be what all the books tell stories about - the amazing feeling that one has found everything one has ever needed in that other person. Good and bad traits melt into one giant kettle of answers one never knew one needed. I have tried my best to get those answers; I think I want Sasuke to have them too. Being near him eases the demons in my chest and leaves more room to breathe. He is my salvation - but what I am to him? What are we?

I wake up in the middle of the night and watch Sasuke sleep contently next to me. I am so afraid this will not last, I whisper. Where are you tomorrow, what about your girlfriend? I do not want to admit I love that angel beside me, since it would mean that I am more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life. This is either a blessing or the deepest pit of hell. I have gone through shit in my life and I have always tried to keep my head high up until everything crashes down hard. Inability to handle pressure, mental issues and all that jazz, said the doctor. She was actually amazed how I could have survived until now without breaking like glass. Well, I am not a quitter and I just ended up locking all the bad things permanently into that black box in the back of my mind until I forgot how to feel again.

Now when I see Sasuke lying next to me, wanting to save me so badly…it makes me feel warm but at the same time it reminds me that the lock will not hold forever. If I fall, will you catch me, I sigh silently and he just mumbles something incoherent in his sleep. I brush the black hairs from his face and wish I could stop the time. I promise to be stronger, I promise to be it for you, I whisper into his ear and then I fall sleep again. The next morning when I wake up my mind seems so much clearer than before. Why are you looking so serious, Sasuke asks. I think I might stop the medication for good, I answer him. I have been taking and not taking those for years and I want to feel something again, I continue. Is it not dangerous to play with them like that, he asks then. Maybe, but before I had no reason to quit completely - the pills are the easy way out, I smile sadly at him.

Comments? Thoughts?