"Is there anywhere you guys don't do it?" Even though she had asked the question, loud enough for them to hear over the television, neither of them moved. April sighed heavily and threw her head back in frustration. "Guys!"

"What?" Jackson finally looked at her, irritated by the interruption.

"We've been over this! If you want to screw, go to your rooms! Don't do it in shared space!" She waved around the room frantically. "And this is shared space!"

"April—"

"Don't April me! I don't want to see you two getting it on!" She shook her head in disgust. "I mean how would you feel if I did that to you guys?"

"Do you even have—"

"I could have someone," April cut her off with a scowl. "And you wouldn't like the sight of it, either."

The comment attracted both Lexie and Jackson's attention, so much so that they separated and made room for April on the couch, who sat down beside them with a heavy, agitated sigh. Lexie placed a comforting hand on her knee, smiling brightly when she received a hot, angry stare. "Hey, April, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," Jackson claimed, his stare steady and calm even when April shot him a cold glare. "It's about Stark, isn't it?"

"Wait, what's going on?" Lexie looked from Jackson to April, who continued to glare at a now smirking Jackson. "April, is something going on with Stark?"

"No," April answered coldly before she addressed Jackson. "Nothing is going on."

"But you want it to?"

"Jackson!"

Lexie hit her boyfriend on the arm gently, mouthing to him that he needed to leave her alone. She turned to April quickly. "Wait…Is…Is something going on between you and Stark, seriously?"

"We're just friends."

"So, then what's the problem? I thought friends was what you wanted?"

"I thought that's what I wanted, too," April admitted softly, barely audible to herself, let alone them. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "And now…I just don't know."

"Did he do something?"

"Jackson, don't act all big-brother like he hit her," Lexie scolded with a scowl. "Wait, he didn't hit you, did he?"

"Now who's acting all big sister like?"

"No," April cut their hypocritical, yet amusing side conversation to an end, "He didn't hit me. He would never do that."

"So," Jackson shifted uncomfortably against the fabric, "what happened then?"

"It was innocent," April said gently. "A kiss on the cheek. I mean, that's nothing. It's nothing, platonic…A kiss on the cheek!"

"And…?"

"I can't stop thinking about it," she conceded sadly. "I just…I can't get it out of my head."

"Did he kiss you?"

"Under the mistletoe." She smiled when Jackson laughed and Lexie smiled at the sweetness and corniness of the moment. "Totally amazing, right?"

"That's so sweet!" Jackson chuckled when Lexie slapped his arm again. "Seriously, April, that's…awesome?"

"No, Jackson, it's not awesome," Lexie told him. "It's terrible."

"Why?"

"Because," they had seemed to ignore her for the time being, not that April minded. It allowed her to collect her own thoughts, even though they were surrounded completely by him and what had transpired between them a few days prior. "April is trying to establish a just friends relationship, and he's not making that easy on her."

"Aw, come on, Lexie! It was a kiss on the cheek!"

"Obviously not!" Lexie rebutted. She turned to April. "I'm right, right? That didn't make this friendship easy on you?"

"Sure. Whatever." April looked at the with a smile. "It was sweet of him, though. You should have seen him. He very could have kissed me, but he didn't…And I don't know why he didn't."

"Because he doesn't want to push you," Jackson offered. "If he kissed you that would push the friendship envelope."

"You think he wants something more?"

"They always do, Lexie," Jackson offered. "But, April, that doesn't mean all he wants is sex. If he did, he would have made a move within that first month of dating."

"But he wants sex?"

"He's a man," Lexie told her, gently patting April's knee in support. "All men want sex."

"Unless they're asexual."

"Shut up!" Lexie laughed as she hit Jackson again. "You know what, why don't you go upstairs? This is girl talk."

"Oh, am I too masculine for you?"

"Jackson, just…Go!"

Jackson looked toward April for support, who only shrugged and offered him a meek smile. "I'm not leaving. April needs a man's perspective on this."

"Jackson can stay."

Lexie sighed in defeat. "All right, fine. Tell me everything that happened. And from the beginning, I don't want you to leave anything out."

"You don't think it's weird?"

"At first I did, but I'm starting to come around to it," Lexie answered, smiling. "You deserve to be happy, too."

"He makes me happy."

"So…Why don't you tell him that, then?"

"Because he wants sex and…I'm not ready to give that up yet. I don't want to give that up like it's nothing, because it's not." April sighed heavily, agitated in her confusion. "I just…I don't know anymore."

"The kiss complicates things, that's for sure."

"And I bet his entire reason from it was to make sure things weren't uncomfortable," April added. "I don't know what to do."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"That you're a virgin," Jackson spat out before Lexie could continue her gentle interrogation.

"I haven't told him," April answered, her hands up in surrender. "But that doesn't mean he doesn't know. He very well could, with the rumors that swirl around this hospital."

"You should talk to him, April."

"How can I talk to him if I don't even know what I want anymore?" Relationships were so confusing; no wonder all the surgeons' relationships were based primarily on sex. There was nothing messy about it, no mixed feelings or emotions. And April thought that by separating herself from the madness that she wouldn't be sucked into the drama or a relationship. Yet here she sat, unsure of everything except that she loved spending time with Stark, with the Grinch who, for a long time, had treated her she didn't exist, like she was just another resident. April wanted to find out if that still held true, or if…maybe with him she wasn't just another resident.

When he opened his door, he had expected to see his landlord, maybe even the pizza delivery man though he had ordered no pizza; the last person he expected to see was April Kepner, who looked absolutely amazing in jeans and a fleece, which contrasted sharply to his khakis and striped button up shirt. Despite the difference and the surprise, he found himself smiling. "April."

"Robert."

"Um…I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but what are you doing here?"

"I…I don't really know."

Stark looked behind himself at the dark apartment. "I'd invite you in, but I was just about to head out."

"Oh." She looked flustered now, uncomfortable, as if she had hoped he would invite her in. "I'm sorry. I'll come back later when you aren't busy."

"You're welcome to come with, if you'd like."

"Where are you going?"

"Speed dating." It had sounded better in his head; the sound of it, the actual words, made him feel pathetic, especially since he had said them to her. She didn't like the sound, either, obviously, because she instantly scowled and looked at him like he was crazy. "There's nothing wrong with speed dating, you know."

"No, I know…I just…You?"

"You have to meet people somehow, don't you? It's kind of hard to get around when you're working twelve hour shifts constantly." Stark shrugged and pulled his jacket off the hook before he shut the door gently, locking it before he turned around to face her one more time The scowl still splayed across her face and he offered, "You…You can come with me if you want."

"You want me to go speed dating with you?"

"Moral support." He smiled, hoping that was enough to entice her. When the scowl faded and all that remained was a soft smile, he knew he had won. "All right. Let's go."

"Promise me we'll never do anything like that ever again?"

Stark laughed and shoveled a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth as they walked around the quiet park together after a horrendous debacle of speed dating. "Are you kidding? You didn't love every second of that torture?"

"I think you were the only normal person there."

"Hm, no I think the dragon lady had me beat." He smiled when she laughed and shook her head.

"Yeah, you looked like you were having fun over there."

"Oh, yeah, I love hearing about dragons and warlocks and wizards and all the other fantasy worlds out there." He shook his head, surprised at how disastrous speed dating had proven to be; the point had been missed completely, however, and he knew that because walking beside her as snowflakes slowly began to fall was enough to pull him back in, to make him feel like he hadn't pulled the cord for the parachute.

"Well, you looked interested, if that means anything."

"I think what you were seeing on my face was surprise and…confusion and fear."

April laughed. "You just didn't give them enough of a chance. One of them could have been your Mrs. Right, you know."

"I don't believe in that."

"No?"

Stark shook his head and scowled as a brain-freeze hit. "You know, I'm starting to think that this ice cream was a terrible idea, especially in winter."

April shrugged and looked down at hers. "It is kind of chilly out here."

"Are you cold?" He tossed his ice cream in the garbage can as they passed it and waited patiently for her to do the same before they started to walk again; her noise and ears had turned a soft pink from the weather and she huddled closer to her fleece that was slowly becoming white from flurries. "April?"

"Just a little," she admitted. "But I'll be all right."

Before she could reassure him any further, he had removed his coat and was in the process of draping it over his shoulders. Stark saw her about to rebut and helped her slip the sleeves on before the jacket was wrapped snugly around her. "I'll be fine, April."

"You don't have to—"

"Yes, I do." Cold air hit him and he kept himself from shivering as he shoved his hands in his pockets. It wasn't bitter out before he had the coat on, and now all he wanted to do was snuggle up against her and feel the warmth from her body transfer over to him. "Is that any better?"

"Much, thank you."

He nodded with a smile. "Good. I'm glad."

"Robert." She waited until he was looking at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you decide to try speed dating?" Even she, who had not been in many relationships herself, had known that speed dating was…different from normal dating and that it was difficult to forge a real connection within minutes.

Stark shrugged. "I figured it was a good way to meet people."

"But not just people, right?"

Stark stopped and stared at her closely, the soft look in her eyes that somewhat resembled fear and naivety. Was he sensing a bit of jealousy in her voice? "No, not just people."

April nodded slowly before she started to walk again, not really paying attention to whether he had begun to follow her or not. Instead, she ducked her head as the snow began to fall harder and shoved her hands into the warm pockets of his coat. Stark knew that once this walk was over, his coat would smell like her perfume. If he didn't think he had hallucinated the action, he could have sworn she had tucked her head slightly to smell the cologne that still lingered on his jacket.

April Kepner was difficult, and she wasn't making this easy on him as he jogged to catch up with her. "Hey, April."

Her face tilted toward him. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She instantly looked away from him, her way of avoiding a topic just like his was completely walking away and ignoring someone or something.

Stark wasn't falling for it this time, not when he knew that whatever she had to say was important and—most likely—about him and their situation. There was a glimmer of hope sparking in his heart that maybe, through the time they had spent together, she was slowly starting to change her mind. "April, what is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Her eyes were serious, as cold as the weather around him; Stark felt himself shiver, more from her words and rejection than the bitter wind that made him feel completely naked in clothes that offered no warmth or comfort. Instead of pushing the topic which she clearly was uncomfortable with, he offered, "Why don't I get you back home? It's too cold to be walking around out here."

She didn't fight him as he led her out of the park.

If Stark had known she was never going to leave his apartment, he would have at least tided up the place a little better, made sure there wasn't random dishes lying around or clothes anywhere. But, as soon as they had entered the apartment so she could put his coat away, she had asked him if she could stay awhile—mostly because she didn't want to go home to the two lovers getting it on in shared space. Stark could understand her discomfort, and it wasn't like he minded her company at all. But, still, he would have cleaned up better had he known. As he poured her a glass of wine, he found himself apologizing profusely for the dishes that racked his kitchen sink.

She only smiled at him, accept the glass with a nod of gratitude. "Your place is fine, Robert."

Stark found himself smiling; that would never get old or annoying to his ears. "Yeah, well…I'm allowed to have feelings of humiliation sometime. I am human."

"Hm, contrary to popular belief?"

"Oh, yeah," he answered with a chuckle as he poured himself a glass. "You're welcome to sit on the couch if you'd like."

April turned to eye the couch, a feeling of discomfort settling in her stomach; it was innocent enough, his suggestion, and suddenly she flashed back to Alex Karev and everyone laughing and making fun of her, telling her that night her "pants would be coming off" and he'd try to sleep with her. Panic set in quickly, so swift that she found herself downing the entire glass to relieve some of the pressure. When none of it had escaped and instead builded on itself—on the memory of Karev freaking out on her and the thought that Stark was capable of the same thing—she turned to Stark for answers, something that would tell her she was mistaken and he wouldn't force her, wouldn't make her take her pants off because she wasn't ready. When she looked back at him, all she saw was an open mouth stunned in surprise at her action, and she immediately felt a brush creeping forward.

Instinctively, she pushed her glass toward him. "Mind if I have some more?"

Stark looked at her closely, like a bartender would to a raging alcoholic, and set the wine bottle down without filling hers. "Let's-Let's see how you do after that, okay?"

"No." If this was going to happen, she might as well get a little buzzed.

Stark shook his head and moved the bottle out of her grasp. "I don't want you passed out within seconds, April. Besides, no reason to get hammered. You have surgery tomorrow. You don't need a hangover."

"If I'm fine in half an hour, can I have more?"

"I suppose. I just…Let's see how you do." He had seen many lightweight women in his time get hammered and not come out the other side unscathed; Stark didn't want that to happen to her, not when she needed to be focused and alert, not suffering from a terrible hangover.

Like that, they were on the couch; he had let her pick a television show or movie to watch, smiling when she selected the news—a safe topic to watch daily events unfold. She didn't want to accidentally stumble across a romance movie, because then she knew every once and while her gaze would travel to him and if she did that…She didn't want to think about what would happen other that. Right now all she wanted was that wine bottle to drown away her insecurities and nervousness about sex; moments like these, too, she silently berated herself. It wasn't common for her to become uncomfortable and flustered, and April hated this position. So far, however, he had made no moves, only smiled at her occasionally when a funny segment or commercial aired.

"You doing okay, April?"

"I'm fine, not at all buzzed." God she desperately wanted to be, especially as she found herself intoxicated by his cologne and close proximity. This friends thing was harder than she thought it would be. Suited her well, too, to be attracted to a man after she had flat out said she wasn't. His charm—and his self-control—was a huge selling point for. Maybe, she thought to herself as he stood and went to grab the wine bottle, that he wasn't so bad after all. Maybe, if she wanted to, she could see him as more than a friend.

It scared the hell out of her.

A few drinks later, and the buzz turned into something much more stronger; she found herself barely able to stand or control her thoughts. Stark seemed thoroughly amused her with her, however, as she relayed to him her life story, how she grew up on a farm, and he seemed to especially love her pig-slaughtering story because he laughed. "Something funny?"

"I can't see you slaughtering a pig."

"Why? I can delve around human organs all day. Makes sense that I should be able to slaughter a pig."

Stark reached forward and grabbed the empty glass from her hand, having to pry it away from her hard grip. "I think you've had enough of that."

"I don't."

He smiled and shook his head, setting it and the wine bottle on the coffee table. "April, why do you feel the need to drink? It's not like I'm expected you to get totally drunk."

"It calms me down."

Stark looked at her closely and scowled, wondering if he had made her uncomfortable. It wasn't like he had put the moves on her—or would, given her obviously vulnerable state. "April, I don't understand. What do you need to be calmed down from."

"You."

"Me? What did I do?"

"It's not you…necessarily."

"So…" He turned to her, confusion spreading across his face. "What is it?"

"It was a long time ago."

"April, if I am making you uncomfortable in any way, I…That was never my intention." He shook his head and scoffed at his own disbelief. "At least tell me what I'm doing."

"It's not you, Robert."

"So what is it?"

"It's me," she admitted softly, her voice barely audible as she looked down at her hands. "It's me and my insecurities and stupid, naive fears."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"Sex."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sex," April repeated, finally summoning the courage to look at him, his face a mixture of confused and surprised, as if that was the last thing she expected; immediately she felt uncomfortable, wondering if she had totally made the wrong decision. "I've…Never done it before."

"Never?"

April nodded slowly and laughed in her drunken stupor that was slowly starting to wane with the seriousness of their topic. "Never. Twenty-eight year old virgin. How do you like that?"

Stark looked away from her for a moment to allow her information to process; it all suddenly made miraculous sense, why she looked at the couch like it was a deathtrap or how she so suddenly had canceled on him the minute he suggest a movie date at his place. And with that realization that she was afraid he would push her, Stark shook his head and started to rub his temples from frustration. Finally, he looked at her and felt himself melt by the scared look in her eyes. The need to touch her in reassurance was strong, so he placed a gentle—yet firm—hand on her knee. "April, look at me."

She did as he requested, her eyes soft and scared like a baby deer. "What?"

"Is…Is that why you canceled that day? Because you were afraid that I would pressure you to have sex?"

April looked away from as soon as he had finished the question, embarrassed. "Everyone was saying how a movie date at your place meant that 'pants were coming off' and that…I just…It freaked me out, is all. I got scared."

"Who told you that?"

"Meredith, Cristina, Lexie, and Alex," April answered, waiting a second between each name. "At Arizona's baby shower and they said that…Well…"

Stark didn't know what to be more frustrated about: the fact that she had let them get to her or the fact that they had assumed a movie date meant sex. "April, just because we scheduled a movie date doesn't mean sex."

"They said—"

"And you're going to listen to people who have slept with everyone at this hospital?" Stark shook his head. "Just because they say that you have sex when you hang out with someone at their place doesn't mean that happens. It's different for everyone, April. It's your choice when to have sex, not just because that's when a lot of people have sex. I thought…I thought you understood that after waiting twenty-eight years. If you didn't, I guarantee we wouldn't be having this conversation."

April sighed and closed her eyes, the light from the room bothering her. "Are you mad?"

"Not at you," he answered with a sigh, giving her knee a gentle squeeze in encouragement. "I understand, April. I do. But what I don't understand is why you didn't say that to me. Why didn't you tell me what was really going on?"

"Fear," she answered softly. "Fear and naivety and…A hell of a lot of fear. I was afraid of how you'd react and if you'd freak out on me like Alex did."

That angered him more than anything she had just told him; she could see it in his eyes, the rage that he tried his best to keep hidden. He looked at her now like he had looked at him the moment she called him out on treating her badly, worse than the other residents, and the look scared her. Instead of his voice becoming angry, he remained calm as he asked, "In what strange, twisted, deranged universe am I anything like Alex Karev?"

"None."

"So what made you think I was going to freak out on you when you told me that you haven't had sex?"

"Well…he didn't freak out on me when I told him—more made of fun of me, then. It was more of when—"

"He made fun of you?"

"Yes, but that's my point." The angry look was back in his eyes again, like he had to use all his self-control not to break something. "My point is that…well, once we were close to that and I asked him to take it slow, you know my first time and all…and he kinda freaked out on me."

"What?"

"Robert, sit down, please." He didn't do as she asked, and instead remained standing, his body tense. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Obviously it was if you thought I would react the same way."

"Robert—"

"What do you mean by he freaked out on you?"

"Robert—"

"What did he do?" His tone was angry as he stressed every word; Stark forced himself to sit down, knowing if he remained standing he would start to pace or put his fist through a wall and then potentially never perform surgery again. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "It doesn't matter what he did, does it? Only that that he did and that it hurt you?"

She didn't answer.

"Just, um…Just tell me he didn't force you into anything that you didn't want to do."

"No," April answered firmly, watching the stress release itself from his body. "He didn't."

"But it was enough for you to think that I'd pressure you into sex and react the same way he did? To…Traumatize you in a way?"

"Yes."

Stark sighed and looked at her, honestly and openly for the first time since she had rejected his advances. "April, you need to understand that I would never pressure you into having sex with me or judge you for it. That's not who I am…It's not how I was raised by my parents. A girl says to you, 'I don't want to do this,' you don't do it. End of story."

"I'm sorry."

"I mean…A month! I waited a month, and didn't make one move! What makes you think I'd try to jump into bed with you after that?"

"I'm sorry."

He could see she was close to tears and took her hand gently in his own. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"I should have told you."

"I would have understood everything a lot better, that's for sure. Like why you bailed on me so suddenly or why…I get it now." He looked at her. "I do."

"You're mad, aren't you?"

"At people who think it's their jobs to dictate how you live your life and when you should be ready to do something, yes, but I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you, April."

"Does…Does this change anything between us?"

If anything, he thought to himself, he would treat her much more carefully. Stark wished he had known; then he wouldn't have been so direct with her. "No, it doesn't. We're good."

"I think I should be getting home."

"Did you drive here?"

April nodded.

"All right. Get your keys and I'll drive you home. I'll call a cab from there to take me back." He helped her to her feet, letting her put her weight against him as they walked to the door and out of his apartment.

Stark knew he wouldn't be sleeping tonight, not with the rage inside him that he needed to get out, anger at all the stupid people at the hospital who couldn't mind their own business and probably were the ones who had spoiled his chances at anything more than a friendship with her.

Tomorrow would prove to be an interesting day at the hospital should he decide to embark on the war path.