I cried as I wrote this. In my head, this happens when Dean is about forty-five. He is no longer the fit young hunter he once was. He and Cas are an item, and have been for several years. Sorry if he's a bit OOC, I got carried away.
Dean was going to die. He knew that. And he'd probably die soon. His job was, after all, not without its hazards. Hazards that he was utterly sick of. He wanted it over.
Dean jumped when he felt Cas' arms sliding around him.
"What's wrong?" His angel whispered into the darkness of their room. Dean looked at his beautiful, worried eyes and knew that this was a conversation that they needed to have, sooner rather than later.
"Cas… I'm going to die soon. I know it. And, to be absolutely honest, I'd rather it happened sooner than later. Sam's gone. Heaven don't need me anymore. I'm done." As he said it, Dean realised why he'd been putting this off. He wanted to die, sure, but…
"Cas?" he said after a minute of silence.
"Yes, Dean?"
"If I die… Will I ever see you again?" He felt Cas sigh behind him and realised that this probably wouldn't be a positive answer. Cas' next words didn't surprise him.
"I don't know."
Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind.
I'll follow you into the dark.
No blinding light
Or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of the spark.
"But let me promise you that, if there is any way at all, I will follow you. Wherever you may go, into the light or the dark. I will be with you."
"What's it like?"
"To die? I don't know. There's no bright light, or gates to Heaven that I know of."
"Would you hold me?"
"Always."
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
"What if Heaven doesn't want me? I've been an evil son of a bitch in my time."
"But you have the purest soul of anyone I know. I will not allow you to go to Hell."
"Where else is there?"
"I don't know, but I will follow you into the unknown."
In catholic school,
As vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised
By a lady in black
And I held my tongue
As she told me "Son
Fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
"Cas… I'm scared."
"I know. But you're okay. I'm here, I'll always be here. Fear is the heart of love, after all."
"Thank you, Mr Poetry."
You and me
Have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down.
The time for sleep is now
But it's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
"Cas?"
"Yes?"
"I'm ready to die, if you'll do that for me."
"Shhh, Dean, don't cry. Every traveller's journey ends. There's nothing to cry about, we'll hold each other soon."
"I wonder what my heaven will be like if I get in."
"Somewhere with plenty of alcoholic beverages I expect."
"And you. It wouldn't be Heaven without my angel."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Cas."
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
And I'll follow you into the dark.
Cas placed his fingers on Dean's forehead. The effect was almost instantaneous, Dean breathed out in a huge sigh and his heart fluttered to a halt. Castiel leant over him and kissed his lips quickly.
Lying down with his hands clasped around Dean's Cas closed his eyes and cast out his grace. Time to follow that beautiful soul into the dark.