Chapter 4: Boy

Almost a week had gone by. Every day after a quick lunch I would go out to the lake, sit in the tree and think. Looking at the lake calmed me down. I could relax my tense, sore muscles and try to pretend I was a normal girl.

I leaned my head against the back of the trunk and closed my eyes, ready to fall asleep when a voice from above me caused me to jump in shock.

"You've been coming here for eight days strait every lunch break, haven't you?" the voice belonged to a boy.

I looked up and saw Sirius Black crouched on a branch, his hand against the trunk to balance himself. He looked down at me with his brown eyes, mostly hidden by his long hair. The hood of a blue and black hoodie was pulled over his head

I wiped the tears that had been previously trickling down my face and replied, "So what?" How embarrassing! Had he seen been watched me cry and sulk for eight whole days? But then talking to someone for the first time in a long time made me feel like my old self.

He shrugged and stepped onto a branch just above mine. "Why?"

"It's none of your business," I told him. I felt my heart start to beat faster every second he looked into my eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked.

I had to think for half a second. "Jillian. Locke."

He smiled. He looked like he liked hearing the sound of another human's name. As though it relieved him. "I'm Sirius Black."

"Uh- nice to meet you," I said.

The bell rang and I swung down from the branch and grabbed my school bag. Sirius jumped down and landed beside me. "What's your next class, Jillian?"

"Um... I think I have Defence or something," I answered. My palms were starting to sweat and I was starting to lose my memory. I tried swallowing the emotions back down. "Well... see you around."

"I'm counting on it," he smiled. We joined the large group of students heading into the West Door and then Sirius and I went down our different corridors.

I couldn't help but stare after him, my face feeling hot and my feet feeling like they could lift off the ground. The door to the classroom was open and our teacher was waiting for us.

On October twelfth, Sirius Black caught up with me a I was on the way to the Great Hall for dinner. He looked especially cute today with black skinny jeans and Converse shoes with a black v-neck shirt and a purple hoodie.

"Are you any good at Charms?" he asked.

"I guess so," I shrugged.

"Great," he grinned. "Then meet me in the library after dinner, okay?"

Before I could say anything in return, he was on his to the Gryffindor table on the other side of the Great Hall. I had a study date.

"Jillian!" Trace called a few seats away from me. He waved for me to sit by him. I pretended to be excited to see him and set my bag down by my feet where I sat.

"Hey," he said as if nothing had ever happened.

"Hi." I replied, helping myself to some food.

"So how have you been lately?" he asked as he took a bite of lasagna.

I lied, "Good. Uh... yeah. Good. What about you?"

"Same as usual," he answered. "Do you think you could help me with some homework after dinner?"

I remembered I had already agreed to help Sirius. "Uh... I'd love to," that was a lie, "But I'm already busy after dinner. Sorry."

He shrugged. "That's fine. I'm sure I can ask someone else. Maybe another time."

"Definitely!" I lied again. Why didn't I just say maybe instead of lie to make him happy?

I ate my dinner and listened to him as he told me about how his band was going to try to make an album when he got back nodding and saying yes or no every once and a while.

"Well it was nice talking to you, Trace, but I have to go now," I told him after I was finished dinner and he was taking a breath in between a sentence.

"Oh," he looked disappointed. "Well... see you later."

"Sure, sure," I said, not really listening as I picked up my bag and headed to the library. I saw Sirius sitting at a table with an Charms textbook and parchment, quill, and ink.

He grinned when he saw me. I sat down across from him and pulled out my textbook.

"You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to," he told me.

"It's okay. It gives me something to do in the evening," I replied. And I actually kind of meant it. "So what is it that you need help with?"

"Uh... just these two questions here," he showed me his assignment.

I frowned. "Dude, these are second year spells."

He laughed and his face turned red with embarrassment. "Yeah, I know. I'm not your brightest wizard."

"That's okay. Page 244, paragraph 4," I told him.

He nodded and opened the old ratty textbook and flipped to the right page. "So, Jillian, if I'm not being intrusive, can you tell me why you sat in that exact tree at the exact time for exactly eight days? And... why were you crying?"

I thought my heart stopped beating. I avoided his gaze. "Uh... well... during the summer someone broke into our house and killed my... my brother. And my house got set on fire as well so... I was just... you know. Thinking. About how it used to be."

Sirius looked really sad for me. "Wow... I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

"So am I," I said. I really was.

How it used to be. How I used to be. I used to be happy. I used to smile and laugh all the time. Now I hadn't smiled in over a month.

Sirius had finished his homework. I didn't leave, though, and neither did he.

Finally, he said softly, "You know... if you ever need to be around someone, you can hang out with me."

I looked into his deep brown hopeful eyes.

What came out of my mouth next was something I really deeply meant: "I'd like that."

He smiled. I wished I knew how to smile. How to laugh. How to be a normal sixteen year old. How to enjoy life.

"Thanks for helping me and everything," Sirius told me.

"Thanks for giving me something to do," I returned.

"Anytime," he smiled. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Sirius Black picked up his books and with one last smile, walked out of the library.

I gazed after his back and then finally took my bag and began to walk to the Ravenclaw Common Room.

As I slipped under my bed covers, I thought that maybe I had found a real friend. Someone who could help me become a regular person again. Regular. Normal. Ordinary. Words I had never cared for yet now yearned for more than anything in the world.

I don't know why, but I cried that night. Probably just my hormones acting up but it was weird crying and not knowing what you were crying about.

I took my pills, just to be safe.

"Are you going to your tree today?" Sirius appeared at my shoulder as soon as I reached the door of the Great Hall.

"I don't have any specific plans," I answered.

"Come with me, then. If you want," he offered.

"Were are you going?" I asked.

"You'll see," he led me up so many flights of stairs I lost count and then opened a door on the top of a tower.

"It's really nice up here," I remarked.

"I took one of my girlfriends here once," Sirius said.

Hanging out with Sirius became a regular thing. I soon found out that his mother found him a disgrace to the family since he was a Gryffindor, he two sisters and a younger brother, he hated his family more than anything in the world, and he knew every hidden passage way in the school.

He knew I wasn't happy and he was always there when I cried. He always comforted me and told me it was going to be okay.

November got colder and colder each day until on December first, it began to snow, lightly and softly. I woke up to see the delicate white flakes fall from the bright blue sky.

Then, something happened. The muscles at the corner of my lips pulled up. I was smiling! I was smiling! I ran to the bathroom before it faded. My whole face looked lit up. I might have actually looked normal. I felt a strange emotion stir around my heart. But it was gone before I knew what it was.

Astounded, I got dressed and ready for the day. It was Saturday which meant a full day with Sirius. He was waiting for me, smiling, at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my Common Room.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he replied. "Follow me, I wanna show you something."

He walked down the corridor and I fell into stride beside him. Once he reached a huge tapestry on the wall, he stopped.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He grinned and lifted up the big painting. There was a hole, large enough for someone our size to fit through.

The grin that came to my face seemed unfamiliar and foreign but it managed to stay on my face long enough for Sirius to see it.

"You're smiling." he remarked.

"I know." I replied.

"Ladies first?"

"No way. I don't know what's down there!"

Sirius grinned and hoisted himself through the hole feet first when he was sure there was no one else in the corridor. After waiting a few seconds, I did what he had did and found myself sliding down a long, dark, tunnel.

I bit my lip to keep in my scream. Before I knew what was happening, I had landed in Sirius's arms. He was strong for someone his size.

I felt all jittery and nervous inside. I was going to say something all romantic and smooth but instead ended up stammering. "Thanks."

I couldn't see but I could tell that was grinning.

"I can't see a thing! Where are we?" I asked.

"Somewhere special. Or, special enough that you're the first girl I've ever brought in here." Sirius answered. "Follow me."

"I can't see a thing!" I pointed out.

"Right, it's your first time here."

It wasn't until a second later that I realized he had slipped his hand through mine. I got butterflies in my stomach. It was almost a happy feeling. Happy... the word sounded so foreign and strange... Maybe I was falling hopelessly in love with this boy.