Mute Swan
Pain.
Sharp, excruciating pain sliced through Lukas' body, leaving the Norwegian whimpering in tears. Curled into the fetal position, Lukas used both hands to apply pressure to his temples in attempt to alleviate this unbearable sensation. Slowly opening his eyes, Lukas was relieved to find the room barely lit. Just the thought of having to deal with a light source while in this condition sent shivers down his spine. Eventually the pain faded, or maybe he got used to it, who knows? Lukas shifted in the covers to lie on his back with an arm over his forehead, and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling fan above.
Wait. Ceiling fan?
Lukas sat up in a panic, and studied his surroundings. This wasn't his room. Why wasn't he in his room? That means this isn't his bed. Whose bed is it? How did he get here? This room was quite a bit larger than his own, equipped with a double bed and what looked to be a walk-in closet. Lukas quickly removed the blankets and jumped to his feet. Orange pajamas? He doesn't own a pair of orange pajamas. A dresser opposite of the bed caught his eye, the top of it was lined with picture frames and various nick-knacks. He fumbled over to the dresser, discovering his legs to be still a bit unresponsive, yet determined to find some kind of clue to his whereabouts. He grabbed onto one of the drawer handles, lightly knocking the dresser into the wall in doing so. Frames rocked as Lukas balanced himself, and glanced at the images of the past trapped behind glass, or maybe it was plastic. It didn't matter. What happened to him? Why were his legs so weak? Lukas scanned the faces in the photographs, stopping at a small golden frame. A man with a familiar obnoxious smile stood, a roll of paper in hand, with three other blonds. A graduation?
Mathias. Lukas was with Mathias. That was Mathias in the picture. They went out last night. Drinking. Drinking? Lukas doesn't drink. No, but Mathias had him order something. Strawberry soda.
Lukas furrowed his brows, bringing a hand to rub his forehead. His memory was foggy, and his headache was returning. He tried to think back on last night's events. He needed to remember. Mathias had him order a drink. Then the feeling of falling overwhelmed him. His grip tighten on the drawer handle to keep himself upright. What was this vision? Ceiling lights being blocked by something, the world spinning. That's right, he was drugged. Drugged. Something wet dripped onto his face; water? Sweat?
Mathias.
It was Mathias above him. What was Mathias doing above him? His hair was a mess... and wet? Sweat? Oh.
Oh.
No.
Mathias wouldn't. Would he?
"I don't know if I can control myself if we keep this up..."
Lukas covered his mouth as a sharp gasp escaped him. He stumbled backwards, landing on the floor beside the bed. Mathias' words from the previous day echoed through his mind. No. Mathias drugged him! What else did he do? Tears began to flow without Lukas realizing it. What was this? Obviously fear, but something else. Betrayal. Heartbreak? Lukas' breath hitched in his throat as heavy sobs shook his body. Mathias took advantage of him! He couldn't control himself after all. Lukas wanted to scream, but his voice wouldn't come. He pulled his knees into his chest, burying his head in his arms. He felt so small, so alone, so defenseless.
"Lukas?" Lukas' eyes widened and the sobs stopped. He didn't notice the door opening. He slowly lifted his head towards the voice. Over the top of the bed, Lukas could see Mathias. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of the Dane dressed in a nice black button-up tucked into dark red slacks, a red vest and tie on top. No, stop thinking he's attractive, he betrayed your trust! Mathias stared at him with a raised eyebrow, "You're awake. Are you okay? What are you doing on the ground?" He took a step forward, causing Lukas to panic.
"St-stay the fuck away from me!" Lukas forced the words out, voice cracking. Mathias flinched. Lukas crawled backwards in attempt to get away, only to find himself pressed against a nightstand. Crap.
"Wh-what?" Mathias looked taken aback. "Lukas... I... I see," Mathias glanced away with a thoughtful look, "You're probably just waking up and remembering what happened to-"
"Ja jeg husker!" Lukas spat, forgetting the English words as distress was quickly replaced with anger. How dare he just stand there? His nonchalant behavior infuriated him. "Jeg husker nok, drittsekk!" Lukas reached up to the top of the nightstand, using it as leverage to pull himself to his feet. He needed to get away, to get help, to get as far away from this pain as possible. But Mathias was in his way, standing as solid as a statue.
"Drittsekk...? Me?" Mathias' sharp blue eyes burned into Lukas as he shook his head slightly. "I'm not the asshole, Lukas, I promise." Mathias started towards him again, hand outstretched as if Lukas were a stray cat to be coaxed out from hiding. No. He needed to get away from him.
"Løgner! Jeg så deg på toppen av meg! Jeg husker!" Lukas screeched at Mathias, his vision becoming blurry as tears formed yet again. He had to get past Mathias. How? Mathias could out run him even on a good day. His legs hit against something as he tried to back away. He glanced down behind him. The nightstand. That's it. He looked back up to find Mathias staring at him, wide-eyed and jaw dropped.
"Me... On top of..." Mathias whispered as he shook his head again, and Lukas was relieved to see him stop in his tracks. "No... No, Lukas you have it all wrong." It was now or never. Lukas quickly reached behind him, grabbing a bronze lamp off of the nightstand. On shaky legs, he took a step forward, reaching out and grabbing Mathias by the tie. Shocked by this sudden movement, Mathias stumbled backwards. Lukas raised the lamp above his head, and Mathias gasped as he realized what was happening. Mathias moved his arms to defend himself, but Lukas was faster, and the base of the lamp met the side of Mathias' face with one heavy swing. Lukas lost his grip on the tie, and Mathias went flying sideways, hitting the ground with a thud. Lukas' knees buckled as he fought for breath. He did it, now he can get away. His victory was short lived, however, as Mathias stirred with a groan. He placed a groggy hand on his face where the lamp struck, then quickly pulled it away. "Fuck. I'm bleeding."
Lukas brought his attention to Mathias. A large bruise was forming on his cheek, and in the center was an open gash. Mathias looked at Lukas, fear in his eyes, and Lukas felt a wave of satisfaction. The roles were reversed, and now it was Mathias's turn to hurt, to feel pain. Lukas felt himself become overwhelmed with rage once more, and started stalking towards Mathias, knuckles white from his grip on the lamp."Gjorde det betyr noe for deg? Var det bare en løgn?" Lukas began shouting, his voice growing higher pitched as he went. Lukas took a deep, shuttering breath. His world was spinning again, and all he could think of was their kiss just days before. His heart shattered."Blø, drittsekk..."
"Wait! Lukas!" Mathias wailed, dragging himself backwards on the ground with one arm extended in attempt to hold off the fuming Norwegian. "Before you decided to murder me, let me explain!"
"Hold kjeft!" Lukas cried, lifting the lamp once more."Du trenger ikke å ta meg med makt, ville jeg ha gitt det til deg hvis du bare hadde bedt!" He tried to bring the lamp down on the man before him, but nothing happened. Confused, Lukas turned his gaze to his arm, and found a pair of blue-violet eyes staring back at him, wild with concern. Matthew's face was contorted in fear as he clung to Lukas' wrist.
"Lukas what the hell!?" Matthew snapped, taking his eyes off of Lukas and directed his attention to Mathias. He let out a sharp gasp at the slight of Mathias' bloody face and hand. "Oh my god. What did you do?"
"La meg gå, Matthew!" Lukas growled as he struggled to remove himself from Matthew's grasp, but the strawberry blond held firm.
"I, What? No." Matthew furrowed his brows, a slightly shocked look on his face at how similar that phrase was to its English equivalent. "Why are you attacking Mathias?"
"Han fortjener det! Han tok fordel av kroppen min!" Lukas began crying, loosening his grip on the lamp enough for Matthew to take it from him and quickly toss it onto the bed out of his reach.
"I have no idea what you just said, but please stop." Matthew begged with a quivering voice
"He..." A shaking sob grabbed Matthew's attention, and he looked down towards Mathias, who seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. The color was gone from his face, and he was trembling. "He thinks I-I-I-I-I-I r-r-raped him." Mathias' shoulders shook violently as silent tears erupted from within him.
"What!?" Matthew yelped, turning once more towards Lukas and planting his hands on his shoulders. "Mathias did no such thing! He saved you, Lukas. I swear!"
"Nei..." Lukas sobbed, falling face first into Matthew's shoulder. The twin moved to hold Lukas in a protective embrace as Lukas' knees gave out, forcing the pair to the ground. Several moments passed, with the only sound being that of Lukas' sobs.
"Mat..." Matthew placed his cheek on Lukas' head as he whispered as to avoid agitating Lukas, "You should go clean yourself up." Mathias stared at Matthew, unable to speak. "Go to that interview, you need that income. I'll take care of things here." Reluctantly, Mathias nodded and struggled to his feet, leaving the distraught Lukas in Matthew's care.
Mathias arrived home after a surprisingly successful interview, all things considering. He landed the job, and would start that upcoming Monday. He did have to awkwardly explain the bruise and patch on his face, but luckily he would not be directly interacting with customers. He stood nervously beside his front door, unsure about what was waiting for him on the other side. When he had left earlier that morning, Matthew had assured him that everything would be fine. That he would explain everything to Lukas after he calmed down. That had been five hours ago. Surely that was enough time? Maybe he should take another walk about the complex? No. He had to confront this and get it over with.
Mathias took a deep breath, and inserted the key into the lock, slowly turning it and pushing the door open. He stepped inside, cautiously checking the area for anything that may come flying at him. Without turning, he slowly closed the door, and placed his keys on the hook. He left the entry way and turned the corner into the living room, where his breath caught at the sight of Lukas sitting on the couch, still in his pajamas. Lukas looked over his shoulder at the sound of Mathias entering, and immediately adverted his gaze. And awkward silence fell between them. Mathias shifted on his feet, unsure of what to do. Lukas' accusation still fresh in his mind.
You don't have to take me by force, I would have given it to you if you had just asked!
He deserves it! He took advantage of my body!
Mathias shuttered, and ran a hand down his arm in attempt to flatten his goosebumps. He wondered if Matthew had managed to properly explain what really happened, and if Lukas would even believe him. What would he do if he didn't? Would they even still be friends? The thought of losing Lukas sent spikes of fear throughout him, and he felt as if his heart was being ripped from his body. He had to know, he had to break this silence.
"Did you-"
"Mathias-"
Both men stopped short, surprised to have spoken at the same moment. Lukas looked away, pink beginning to stain his skin. "You... you go ahead."
Mathias left go of his breath, and relaxed his shoulders. "Oh. I just... I just wanted to ask if you had eaten anything yet..." Mathias quickly brought his gaze to the hallway, away from Lukas. Another long pause passed between them, and Mathias was certain that Lukas could hear the heavy beating of his heart.
"How can you possibly think about that right now?" Lukas' voice cracked, and Mathias immediately turned towards him. Lukas was sitting, faced backwards on the couch towards Mathias. He was looking directly at him, eyes seemingly clouded over with way too many emotions.
"I'm concerned about you." Mathias sighed, "You've had a real shitty past twenty-four hours."
"So have you..." Lukas murmured, almost too soft for Mathias to catch.
"No, don't you think that." Before he realized what he was doing, Mathias made his way over the couch, and sat on the floor in front of Lukas. "I'm so sorry. If I hadn't left you alone, none of this would have happened." Mathias paused and braced himself, expecting some sort of physical response. This was his fault, and he had just approached Lukas suddenly yet again. But nothing happened. He opened one eye to peak up at Lukas, who was sitting quietly, staring at him with an exhausted expression. Eventually, Lukas let out a sigh, and reached out a hand towards the injury he inflicted upon Mathias. Out of reflex, Mathias flinched at the movement, causing Lukas to pull back. His eyes held distress and panic as he glanced down at his own hand.
"I hurt you." Lukas held his hands close to his chest, avoiding eye contact. "And not just physically. I can't be forgiven. And... to answer your question, yes I have eaten. Alfred brought something when he came to pick up Matthew."
"I see. Good." Mathias sighed, inwardly cursing himself for flinching. "I was wondering where Mattie was... Although, you could've had them take you home. Why did you stay? I thought you would hate me now..."
"I don't think I could ever hate you." Again, Lukas whispered almost too softly. "Even when I thought... I shouldn't have thought..." Lukas' breath hitched, but he forced himself to continue. "After Matthew explained, it all came back. Clearly this time. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, no." Mathias shifted to a more comfortable sitting position, "Don't ever apologize for protecting yourself. You even warned me when we first started dating that you've had issues trusting people, so I should've known better than to come near you right away." Mathias gave a small smirk, "But I'm glad you did what you thought you had to do."
"I shouldn't have thought I needed to do that!" Lukas wailed, desperation heavy in his voice, "I was so devastated when I thought... I couldn't handle it..." Lukas paused, as a sob caught in his throat. Mathias took the moment to lift himself off the floor and take the spot on the couch next to Lukas, who didn't seem to mind, "I've never had someone who meant this much to me, I completely panicked!"
"What about Emil?" Mathias mentally slapped himself as soon as the words came out of his mouth.
"That... He's different, obviously. This isn't the same." Lukas shuttered, "Mathias, I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified. I don't know what to do." For what was quite possibly the fourth time in the past day, time seemed to stop around Mathias. His jaw dropped in surprise as he stared at the beautiful, yet confusing Norwegian sitting in front of him.
"I... I'm sorry I didn't catch..." Mathias let out a breath, "Could you repeat that?"
Lukas' eyes widened as he realized what he said, "I-I-I don't know what to do..."
"No, before that."
"He's different, this isn't the same." Lukas gave Mathias a glare, which caused Mathias to grin uncontrollably.
"Nah, after that."
Lukas blushed, and turned to face away from Mathias. "I... think I'm in love with you..." Lukas was startled as Mathias slapped both hands onto his own face, apparently not caring about the pain from the gash on his cheek as he giggled to himself.
"Yes! That! Oh thank the gods I heard that right!" Mathias squealed and squirmed in what one might describe to be a happy dance, "That's the best damn thing I've ever heard! And here I thought I'd be the one to give in and say it first!" Mathias quickly grabbed Lukas' hands before he had time to protest, "I love you too."
Ja jeg husker!: - Yes I remember!
Jeg husker nok, drittsekk!: - I remember enough, asshole!
Drittsekk: - Asshole
Løgner! Jeg så deg på toppen av meg! Jeg husker!: - Liar! I saw you on top of me! I remember!
Gjorde det betyr noe for deg? Var det bare en løgn?: - Did it mean anything to you? Was it just a lie?
Blø, drittsekk...: - Bleed, asshole...
Hold kjeft!: - Shut up!
Du trenger ikke å ta meg med makt, ville jeg ha gitt det til deg hvis du bare hadde bedt!: - You do not have to take me by force, I would have given it to you if you had just asked!
La meg gå, Matthew!: - Let me go, Matthew!
Han fortjener det! Han tok fordel av kroppen min!: - He deserves it! He took advantage of my body!
Nei: - No