Longest chapter yet at over five thousand words! Enjoy and please review!

Note: All of the desserts that Annie talks about in this chapter are real and I definitely recommend them if you have the chance to try them. Also, I don't live in Washington so I'm not sure how familiar they are with the concept of pecan pie for Christmas (since it is primarily a southern cuisine,) which is why I put it into this chapter.

Chapter 4:

"I have found the paradox: that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." – Mother Teresa

Swan Residence, Forks, Washington:

I had said from the very beginning that this dinner was going to be a bad idea, and I had been proven completely right. Personally, I don't think I have ever attended a function that was so painstakingly awkward and unsettling.

On one side of the table sat Eli and Charlie Swan, who were quietly conversing about a murder that had taken place in Seattle without any regard to anyone else in the room. Next to Eli was Charlotte, who was struggling to keep up with the grownup conversation while popping Sue's homemade French fries into her mouth.

I sat next to Charlotte, eyes stuck on my plate of fried fish that I begrudgingly admitted was delicious. Rounding out the table were the three Clearwater's: Seth (who blatantly stared at me throughout the entire meal for no apparent reason), Leah (who was a bit threatening and kept glancing back and forth between her mother and brother with an exasperated expression on her face), and finally on Charlie's other side was Sue (whose body seemed about ready to fall out of her chair in her bouncing excitement.)

I had only one thought throughout the entire meal as I nibbled on my food: these people are freaking crazy.

Of course, I seemed to be the only one who noticed. My traitorous siblings seemed perfectly content sitting at the cramped kitchen table, and were apparently oblivious to the tense atmosphere.

I shifted in my spot, just wishing that Seth would stop his staring.

"So," started Sue, once the dessert had been served. "Are you going to be attending Forks High School this year, Annie?"

"Um…" I glanced at Seth, who was still staring intently as if the future of his entire world depended on my answer. I turned back to Sue and answered, "Yes, I'll be starting my final year."

"Me too!" blurted Seth excitedly. "Well, actually I go to school on the reservation, but I'm graduating this year, too!"

"Oh, brother," murmured Leah quietly, rolling her eyes.

"Uh…" I resisted the urge to put myself ten miles away from Seth's over-excitement. "Cool?"

"Seth," Sue added, "Annie made the pie; isn't it delicious? Apparently she loves to cook; something else you two have in common."

I didn't see how much we had in common besides the fact that we were both graduating and had a fondness for food, but I had a feeling that I knew what Sue was trying to do. It wouldn't work, no matter how gorgeous and slightly intriguing (albeit, weird) her son was.

Seth, on the other hand, looked as if he had died and gone to heaven. "You like to cook?"

"Yeah, I do," I answered, my pale cheeks turning slightly pink. "Especially baking."

It was at this point that Eli and Charlie had started listening in on the conversation. "She's always baking something or other," Eli told the group, "Her pecan pie is to die for."

Sue cocked her head to the side. "I don't think I've ever had pecan pie before. I don't think any of us have, actually."

My siblings and I looked positively horrified.

Charlotte looked slightly awed as she spoke, her voice high-pitched. "You've never had pecan pie for Christmas before?"

The people around the table shook their heads.

"Now that's just crazy," Eli burst in. "It's really popular down south. If it's one thing I can say about Louisiana residents, it's that they take their food seriously. Especially things like pecan pies, crawfish, beignets, pralines –"

"Half of the words you're saying sound like absolute gibberish," Leah said, inserting herself into the conversation for the first time.

"Annie could probably explain it better than I could."

Thanks for throwing me under the bus, Eli. I gulped as the group turned to me expectantly. "Pralines are pretty big back home. It's a French dessert with pecans, cream, and buttermilk… stuff like that. It's kind of like a really thick and creamy fudge, but harder and smooth."

"And what about the other one?" Sue asked. "Bennets?"

"Beignets," I corrected. "Ben-yays. They're basically God's gift to mankind; the most delicious dessert ever."

"Your favorite?" Seth asked curiously.

"Oh, by far," I answered immediately, my eyes lighting up with a sudden passion and adrenaline. "The best you can get are from this restaurant back home called Café du Monde." I sighed dreamily. "I can never make them like they make them there, though. It's like heaven in your mouth, and I'm never able to make them correctly."

"What is it? A type of cookie or something?"

I was slightly appalled at the very thought. "Oh, definitely not. It's a special kind of deep-fried dough; a bit like a donut but a bit crunchier, square, and without any holes. And it's topped with piles of powdered sugar."

"That good, huh?" Charlie asked.

"To die for," I answered, biting my lip. "We used to go there a lot; my friends and I, I mean. My best friend Georgia and I would go down to the café in the French Quarter in the city, eat our desserts with coffee, and just sit out and people watch while listening to musicians playing jazz music on the street corners. It was wonderful."

The entire table had gone silent, and the simple conversation had suddenly turned tense.

Sue was the first one to speak and break the silence. "You know, I think you would get along wonderfully with my niece Emily. She's always talking about finding new desserts to make; she basically has to feed a little army with all of the people going in and out of her house on a daily basis," she stated. "And you'll most certainly have to make a pecan pie for us," Sue added. "I'm kind of curious about how it tastes now!"

I forced a smile on my face and nodded, not really in the mood to sit through polite conversation anymore. Twirling my fork around on my plate, I looked down at my lap. The thought of the best friend that I had left behind had taken me down an unbidden trip through memory lane, and all I wanted to do was go back to our new house and cry.

"It's usually a dessert for the holidays, but I'll definitely make one for you," I explained politely, my tone stating that I wasn't in the mood to talk anymore.

But Sue was determined not to let the conversation die. "How are you all liking Forks so far?"

"I like the beach," Charlotte chimed in, putting the last bit of pie on her plate into her mouth.

"La Push has lots of nice beaches," Sue agreed, "Especially every once in a while when the sun is shining."

I couldn't help myself; I snorted. My cheeks went bright red when I realized what I did. "Sorry, but I haven't seen the sun since we got here. I was starting to think it had disappeared completely."

Sue just laughed. "Sunny days are few and far between, but the constant drizzling makes you more grateful when the sun does come out."

"And even when it's raining," Seth rushed out, "they're always doing something out there on the beach. There's going to be a bonfire in the next few days; probably next week. Would you like to go?"

His invitation was extended to my whole family, but it was clear to everyone at the table who he was really talking to.

Narrowing his eyes, Eli pushed his chair back from the table. "Well, it's getting kind of late, Charlie, so I think we'll be going."

I frowned at my older brother as the light in Seth's eyes dimmed. Not really thinking it was a good idea to go to a bonfire but finding that I didn't want to hurt his feelings, I admitted, "I don't know, I'm not really a big beach person. I only went the other day because Eli wanted to bring Charlotte."

"Oh." My rejection didn't faze him in the slightest. "Well there are lots of other things to do. Are you busy Saturday?"

"Annie," Eli cut in, "Time to go."

Even if I did want to go and hang out Seth – which I kind of did, though I wasn't sure why and I would never admit it out loud – I knew that I couldn't. I bit my lip regretfully and nodded, "Actually I have something kind of important to do this weekend." Seeing the pain in his eyes, I pushed back my chair and added, "Maybe another time."

"Yeah! Definitely!" He agreed, his voice cheerful. "Another time."

Clearwater Residence, La Push, Washington:

"You are literally the most pathetic person in the history of mankind."

Seth opened his eyes and looked right into the face of his sister, his dopey grin still not having left his face. "What?"

"You probably terrified that poor girl tonight, you realize that, don't you?" Leah asked. "You acted like a complete psychopath. Maybe it would be a good idea to take it down a notch next time, Casanova."

He couldn't bring himself to frown. "I didn't act like a psychopath."

Leah snorted. "Yeah, you kinda did. I was waiting for her to call 911 to bring you to the mental ward."

This time, Seth did frown. "You think I was too overbearing?"

"And it didn't help that mom all but gave the two of you a blessing of marriage."

"Oh shush, Leah," Sue called, walking from the direction of her back bedroom already in her pajamas. She came to stand beside her daughter, and the two of them looked down at Seth's reclining form on the couch. "I'm just excited. My baby boy," she sniffled teasingly, "all grown up!"

"Here we go," groaned Leah.

Seth ignored his sister. "So what did you think about her?"

Sue ruffled her son's hair. "I think she's lovely, sweetie. Pretty and very kind. She was a bit thin though," Sue mused thoughtfully, "and she barely touched any of her food, even the dessert."

"I noticed that, too," Leah piped in her opinion. "She was really skinny. Mom, you're a nurse. You don't think she's…" She gave a glance at her brother, "anorexic or something, do you?"

Seth glared, and opened her mouth to give a snappy retort, but Leah cut him off.

"I'm not saying it to be teasing," she reassured, "it's just that being that skinny isn't really healthy."

He couldn't deny that he had noticed something strange about her, too, when it came to her weight. She truly was skinny, and she barely ate any of her food, despite her claims that it was delicious. Everyone except for Annie had also eaten the dessert she brought ravenously.

"Maybe she just wasn't hungry," Seth shrugged.

He knew that probably wasn't the case, despite how much he wished it to be. He hadn't noticed it when they first met, but having been close to her for more than a few minutes had been truly eye opening. There was something about the way she smelled – warm and comforting like sugar cookies and vanilla. But underneath that smell was something else, though Seth couldn't place what it was.

It was subtle, but potent, and he spent the better part of the night trying to identify the smell. It had been almost a… bitter scent; something rusty and toxic, like a household cleaner.

"Did you smell anything off about her?" he asked his sister.

Leah raised an eyebrow. "About her smell? No, not really. She smelled like cookies or something. Why? Did you smell something?"

"I thought I did," he said slowly. "It was kind of subtle. It smelled almost like poison."

"I honestly have no idea," Leah admitted, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "I didn't smell anything off about her."

"She might not have been feeling well," Sue pointed out. "I'm sure she was probably nervous about meeting new people, so that might have been why she didn't eat or smelled strange."

"Yeah, maybe," Seth murmured.

"Well, all I know is that you need to get to bed." Sue snapped her fingers, pointing toward Seth's room. "Don't think I don't know you haven't been sleeping lately, Mister."

"Yeah, yeah," he yawned, standing and stretching his arms in the air. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

His mother stopped him when he was hallway up the stairs. "Seth?"

He turned around expectantly. "Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you found her."

Seth smiled. "So am I."

Stratford Residence, Forks, Washington:

I woke up from a deep sleep as a result of my ringing cell phone. Letting out a loud groan, I felt blindly for the phone on my bedside table, knocking over a box of tissues in the process. "Hello?" I asked, my voice muffled from where my head was still smothered in my pillow.

"W-What's up, biotch?" a happy high-pitched voice asked. "You'll n-never g-guess what I found out t-t-today from Shannon."

Georgia Hathaway had a hell of a track record with horrible timing.

I moaned, flipping over onto my back. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"It's l-like 8:30!" Georgia said, exasperated. "Usually you're up at the – at the cr-crack of dawn!"

"Time zones, genius. It's only like 6 AM here."

"Oh, sh-shit, I for-forgot," she apologized. "Sorry, b-babe."

I sighed. Out of all the friends that I had back home, Georgia was the only one who hadn't treated me any different. As a result, the friendship we had nurtured for years had grown stronger than ever and I was eternally grateful for all of the support she had given me.

She was a strange soul, Georgia Hathaway. She never had a lot of friends – neither did I, really – because of her stutter. It was one of the traits that had originally intrigued me about her, and once I had beaten past her painfully shy outer shell I knew that I had found a friend for life. "You're an idiot."

"B-But you lo-love me anyway. So t-t-tell me: how is For-Forks?"

"S'fine," I yawned. "We haven't really done much."

"Are y-you f-feeling okay?"

"As good as I'll ever get. I start my treatment on Saturday, so I'll probably be out of commission all day, and Sunday."

"Let me kn-know how it g-go-goes, okay?" she responded. "You kn-know my m-mom is all worried si-sick about you."

"You and your mom are always worried." Beth Hathaway was the epitome of worrywarts, a trait that she had given to her daughter. They meant well though, and I didn't complain since the pair had been there for me for a very long time. They both had their quirks and little eccentricities, but they were slightly endearing. I was grateful to have two people like Georgia and Beth Hathaway in my life, and wouldn't trade them for the world. "So what were you saying about what you found out from Shannon?"

"Oh!" Lucy shouted. "You'll n-n-never g-guess who's preg-pregnant."

"It's too early for the gossip train to have started," I sighed, untangling myself from my blankets. "Who?"

"Heather N-Nichols."

I gasped. "No! Seriously?" Heather Nichols had spent the better part of our high school years tormenting Georgia for her shyness whenever she had the chance. "Karma exists, apparently. Who's the baby daddy?"

"N-No idea. I d-don't think s-she kn-knows, either. That wit-witch; serves her r-right. After all the t-t-time she spent call-calling me stu-stupid because of my st-st-stutter, and t-torturing me to no ex-extent in front – in front of the en-entire sc-school on a d-d-daily basis, now she fin-finally g-gets her come-comeuppance. It's b-b-beautiful; I-I could c-cry. Think I should send her a Th-Thank You c-card?"

I laughed, covering my mouth with my hand. "I would love to see her face if you did that."

"Y-You and me b-both," Georgia sighed. "B-But what about y-you?"

"What about me?"

"Any n-new re-rela-relationships I sh-should know about?"

"No, not really." My mind briefly shot over to Seth Clearwater, who I hadn't seen in two days since the dinner at Charlie Swan's house. I found myself craving his company – even though I was pretty sure he was partially mentally unstable – but wasn't sure why I had the sudden urge to be near him. "Most of the people here are kind of crazy. Small town weirdness and all that."

"Uh, have you seen the p-people tha-that live near us? They're all nuts, so I doubt a few small t-t-town people are really a su-surprise."

"If you could meet these people," I said, "you'd understand."

"Sooner or l-later I'll co-come up th-there and visit, I sw-swear. Have you m-m-met anyone n-new?"

I fell back against my pillows again, drumming my fingers against my leg and seriously debating whether or not to reveal to Georgia about my meeting with Seth. I knew that she would probably get the wrong idea, but I would still feel bad about keeping it from her. "I met a few people. I met Eli's boss and we had dinner at his house with his friend and her kids." I snorted. "That was basically a disaster."

"Why?" she asked.

"Like I said, these people are strange. Sue – that's Eli's boss's girlfriend – has two kids, right? A girl and a boy. The girl was slightly intimidating, and then the boy couldn't stop staring at me."

"W-Wow. How old are th-they?"

I sighed. "The girl was a few years older than me, and then the guy was my age. Cute, but strange."

"D-Details?"

"His name is Seth," I responded. "Tall, really tan; he's native, so he lives up on the reservation. Kind eyes, nice smile."

"Do you – do you like h-him?" she asked suspiciously.

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Suddenly, she laughed. "Oh, m-my gosh, you d-do!"

"I do not!"

"Wow, g-g-girl, you move fa-fast. You've only b-been there for w-w-what? A we-week and a half?"

"Georgia –"

"Are you g-g-going to hang – hang out with him ag-again soon?"

"Probably not," I said honestly. I felt a pang in her chest at my words, but ignored it and gently rubbed the skin over my heart.

"Why n-not?"

"Because. Why should I try to start a friendship or relationship when I know it isn't going to last?"

Georgia's tone quickly turned sharp and angry. "How m-many time-times do I have to tell- tell you t-t-to stop saying sh-shit like that? You c-can't put the… the re-rest of your l-life on hold just b-because you're si-sick."

This had been a sore subject between Georgia and I for quite a long time, so I believed that my best chance of avoiding an argument was evasion. "That's not what I'm saying," I replied. "If the treatment takes effect – if – I highly doubt that I'll end up staying in Forks forever, so what's the point when I know that I'm just going to leave?"

"Nothing wrong – wrong w-with having a b-bit of f-fun with the lo-locals," she pointed out, huffing under her breath. "Who kn-knows? It m-m-might work out. He c-could be – he could b-be your s-soul mate and y-you would have n-no idea."

"You've lost your mind. I'm hanging up on you so I can go back to sleep," I chuckled, finger hovering over the 'End Call' button.

"Yeah, y-yeah, ok-okay. My m-mom's call-calling for me, anyway. I'll t-t-talk to you again s-soon, and m-m-make sure you l-let me know how y-your t-t-treatment goes, okay?"

"Okay, I will. Tell your mom I said hello."

"Will do. L-Love you!"

"Love you, too."

Long after Georgia had hung up the phone, I had stayed awake watching as the sun slowly rose behind the sheer curtains of my window. I wanted to hear the telltale signs of my siblings rising from their slumber. First was Eli, accompanied by the sound of rushing water as he got ready for work, and then the creaking of the stairs as he headed toward the kitchen to no doubt leave a note of where he had gone and when he'd be home.

About an hour later was Charlotte, loudly stumbling out of bed, tripping on some stray object that she had left on her floor and accidentally slamming open her bedroom door as she made her way out and into the hallway.

Then, the knock – "Annie, are you awake? Can we make breakfast?"

Finally, I rose, stretching out my arms as I pushed off my blankets. "Yeah, I'm awake. Why don't you go and get the pancake mix out of the cabinet and we'll have a nice big breakfast today?"

The younger girl nodded and smiled at me before rushing towards the kitchen.

I stayed in her bed for several seconds more, looking at the substance of what my life had become. Would everything be this monotonous from now on? Was my whole life planned out ahead for me?

I didn't even want to think about the answer.

By the time I got downstairs – taking a lot longer than I had originally expected and being completely winded from the experience – Charlotte was waiting patiently at the kitchen table. In the time it took me to reach the bottom step, she had already gotten out a pan and the pancake mix from the pantry.

"Do you want plain pancakes?"

"Choco-chips?"

"Chocolate chips?" I skimmed the shelves of the open pantry. "I don't think we have any; I'll get Eli to pick up a bag when he goes to the store. What about blueberry pancakes? Do those sound good?"

"Yummy!" she cheered.

"Did you wash your hands?"

Charlotte looked down sheepishly. "Not yet."

"Well hop to it," I ordered, pointing toward the downstairs bathroom.

I waited until I heard the hall bathroom open and the water rushing in the sink before I started making the pancakes. Cooking had always been a wonderful hobby for me; stress-free, fun, and a wonderful outlet for me to get creative and experiment. Acting in the mindset of a professional chef, I vigorously mixed the pancake batter, added fresh blueberries from the fridge, and poured it in the pan to cook.

I was finally stirred out of my reverie by a knock at the door.

Immediately, I was suspicious. We were new in a small town, our only adult figure that had a key to the house had gone to work, and now we were alone with a potential serial killer knocking politely on the front door. It was like the beginning of a bad horror movie.

Even knowing that I wouldn't be strong enough to fight off anyone who wanted to get in the house, I made my way towards the window next to the front door and pushed aside the curtain to see who had arrived for a visit.

"What the –" Frowning, I unlocked the door and pulled it open. "What are you doing here?"

Seth Clearwater just gave me a lopsided grin. "I was in the neighborhood dropping off something to Charlie for my mom and wanted to see how you were doing."

I blinked, glancing out at the empty driveway. "And you walked here? Shirtless?"

"Uh," he looked down at his bare chest. "Yeah, it wasn't really that far, so I figured I would get a nice jog out of it."

"Uh huh." I crossed my arms over my chest. Seth could tell that I didn't believe him.

"So… how –" he paused, smelling the air. "Is something burning?"

"Burni- OH SHIT!" I pushed away from the doorframe and ran towards the kitchen, turning off the burner over the now blackened pancake. "Damn it," I mumbled, only vaguely aware of the fact that Seth had followed her into the room, glancing around curiously. I pushed the pan towards the back burner only to burn my hand slightly on the hot stove. "Ow!"

"What happened? Are you okay?" And suddenly Seth was in front of me, grabbing my hand to examine my injury.

"It's nothing, my hand just brushed against the hot pan; no big deal," I reassured, flattered and slightly freaked out at the same time.

"It is a big deal," he corrected, staring at me sternly and gently pushing my reddening hand under the cold water from the kitchen sink. "You need to be more careful."

My eyes narrowed. Did he really think so little of me? Did he really think I was that helpless? "I know my way around a kitchen; it's not like I burnt myself on purpose, it was just an accident. Relax."

Seth looked down at me from his tall height with a raised eyebrow, and I glared right back up at him stubbornly. I felt a chill run up my spine at his intense gaze, and for the first time I noticed the color of his eyes – light cedar with random flecks of gold lined around the pupil.

"Annie?" Charlotte's voice broke us out of our staring. "What happened to your hand?"

I jumped, my eyes flickering down to Seth's bare chest as I took a large step away. I pulled my hand out from under the water from Seth's strong and warm grasp; a sudden surge of longing went through me at the loss of his touch. I turned back to Charlotte and attempted to get my heart under control as I spoke, "Nothing, I just burnt it on the stove."

"Oh. Hi, Seth."

"Hi," he told her, giving his trademark bright and cheery smile.

"Annie, what about the pancakes?" Charlotte asked.

"Oh, well…" I looked toward the stove, where the pathetic excuse for a pancake was sitting. I grimaced. "I'll make you another one."

"I can make them," Seth offered. Seeing the look on my face, he added, "Because of your hand. It's the least I could do, since you wouldn't have even burnt your breakfast if I hadn't shown up."

Well I couldn't argue with that.

I took a seat at the table next to my sister, and we both watched as Seth made his way around the kitchen as if he owned the place. He scraped off the old pancake into the garbage, opened the window above the sink to air out the smell, and skillfully made the pancakes, even going so far as to toss it up in the air and catch it in the pan like a professional. Charlotte clapped her hands at his antics, laughing in amusement.

"Impressed?" he asked, eyes locked on mine as he served a pancake to my sister and me before starting on one for himself.

I was impressed, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him that. "You wish."

The rest of the morning continued similarly, and Seth left not long after doing the dishes despite my protests that he could leave them where they were.

"I'm really sorry that I dropped in on you like this," he had commented when I walked him toward the door.

"No, it… it's fine." I rubbed my cold arms as the sudden outside chill hit my body. "You're pretty good company."

"You're not too bad yourself," he responded, giving a small laugh. "So about this weekend…"

I bit my lip. I actually wanted to spend more time with Seth. Being with him was easy, almost effortless. I felt… good when he was around. "I wasn't lying when I said I had plans this weekend."

"Just making sure," he winked. "Sometimes plans change."

"These plans won't be changing," I insisted. "Trust me on that."

"Oh? What are you doing?" His tone wasn't menacing or sarcastic – it was more curious than anything else.

I knew that the truth would probably scare him away, and I wasn't quite ready for him to know, so I said what I could without lying. "I'm going to Port Angeles."

"Shopping?"

"You know, you are being very nosy for someone I just met a few days ago," I pointed out, leaning against the door.

His eyes were twinkling as he responded with, "I would call it being intuitive, not nosiness."

"Of course you would," I replied, surprised to find that I was smiling back at him.

His eyes were bright and adoring as he stared forward, bluntly stating, "You have a pretty smile."

I blushed, "Thank you."

Seth looked toward the woods then, and frowned. "Sorry, but I really need to go. Still have a bunch of errands I need to run."

I squeaked as he pulled me forward into a warm hug, much more intimate and warm than the one we had shared in the kitchen of Charlie Swan's home. His skin was hot but extremely soft, and he smelled like the ground after a fresh rain – absolutely enticing. The hug lasted only a few seconds, but left my entire body tingling. I watched him as he walked away towards the forest, turning back only once to give a wave and a smile before he took off through the trees.

I was still thinking about that hug several hours later.

"I like Seth," Charlotte commented from the living room floor where she was coloring a picture. "He makes good pancakes. And he's nice."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I like Seth, too."

I knew that I shouldn't, but I felt some sort of attraction to him, both physically and emotionally. It was not hard in the slightest for me to understand why I was attracted to him physically; I mean, the guy was basically beautiful with his mature but slightly boyish face, wise eyes, and contagious smile. Emotionally, however, I was stumped. It was as if some sort of invisible thread was gently pulling me toward wherever he was, and when he was close by he never ceased to make my heart race.

I was going against everything I had ever told myself to do: go through the day; keep all people at arm's length.

But with Seth Clearwater, I just couldn't bring myself to stay away.

Let me know what you think of the chapter by leaving a review!