This chapter is a direct continuation of the last scene we had with Sophie-Anne in True Blood. The one she kisses Eric and says he sucks.
There wasn't a beta for this, I reviewed it like 10 times, there shouldn't be any mistakes. But if there is, who cares.
Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.
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You gasp in surprise when the queen launches herself over Eric. You've never seen her do something so predatory. But when she leans down and kisses him, your heart shatters. You dry swallow and face away from them. It's not enough, though, because the image is already glued to your mind.
The queen goes back to her seat like nothing happened. She doesn't look at you, and even if she did you wouldn't notice, because you are staring at your paper intensely. You feel like you've been punched in the guts and you take deep breaths as you repeat "She's not yours" like a mantra over and over in your head, just so you won't break down in the middle of playing Yahtzee.
"Your turn to make Yahtzee" Ludis says to the vampire. Eric throws the dices on the table and her majesty says he sucks. He is slight disrelished comparing to how he first came in. You wish the queen had taken off his fangs, and you try not to stare at him too much 'cause it would give out that you'd stake him with your pencil if you could.
Your hold on your pencil is so tight that it snaps it in two in your hand. Six eyes turn to you and you can feel your cheeks burning. "May I be excused for the restroom, your highness?" you ask. She eyes you with suspicion. You've never called her 'highness' before
"You may" she answers and you quickly walk out of the room. Once you're outside you take deep breathes but the tears fall anyway, and you walk to your bedroom to pull yourself together. There was no way in hell you're going back to the day room. The queen will be angry for sure, but this time you're going to stand your ground.
You take your clothes off and jump in the shower to calm down. Tears are still falling down from your eyes. You love her too much and seeing her kissing someone else was heartbreaking. She never did it in front of you before, but you know she's not monogamous with you. Even if you are her favorite, there are other ones that she enjoys.
The hot water makes you feel better and your shoulders relax. After the shower, you blow dry your hair and wrap yourself in a towel. As you look yourself in the mirror, the red eyes calls your attention. It's always like that, when you cry your eyes get so red in the corners that it's pathetic. Everyone knows that you've been crying when they see them. That's why you always work your best not to cry.
You leave the bathroom and almost jump out of your skin when you enter your bedroom. The queen is sat at your bed, her legs swinging as she hummers some unknown song. She eyes you but continues humming. Since it looks like she's not going to kill you yet, you walk over to your closet and put some clothes on. After that there is nothing else to do, so you sit by the queen's side and wait until she says something.
"When you asked to go to the restroom I didn't know you were going to take a shower. I wouldn't have excused you" she says, not looking at you. Her tone is light, like this is a mediocre conversation.
"I know. I changed my mind on the way" you lie. Fuck this. If she's going to punish you she can do so, and you can do nothing.
"You're lying" she says, turning her head to look at you. You can't stand you look at her, because the scene on the day room is glued to your mind, so you look away, glancing intensely at your closet.
"Yes, I am" you answer.
You two stay in silence for long minutes. The queen breaks it. "You asked about your grandmother today even though you know she's dead."
"When I think about cousin Sookie I remember Gran. She was a good woman" you reply. You don't know where she's going with this conversation, so you'll just keep the flow.
"I was the one who told you your grandmother died. Was this why you left the room?" she asks.
You feel like you've slapped in the face because she doesn't have a clue why you left. You were wishing she knew and that she came to apologize and that you'd kiss and make up. But the way she's talking now assures you that she didn't notice you are fucking jealous and it hurts.
You start crying all over again. You're sobbing too much so you gasp for air but you feel like your drowning and you can't breathe. The queen watches your breakdown with curious eyes and it hurts you even more.
"Why are you crying?" she asks. You laugh between sobs and it makes you choke. You take deep breaths but it doesn't help much. Her hand goes up and caresses your back and the spot she first touches feels like it's on fire. It's always like that when she touches you.
Your breakdown weakens and as you take deep breaths it gets easier to try to speak. "I'm crying" you start and take another breath to say the rest "because I'm jealous" you finish, turning to look at her. She frowns. "Seeing you kiss someone else made me feel jealous. It's a common feeling in us humans" you explain. Your pain is slowly turning to anger. Why haven't she fucking noticed?
"I know what jealousy means, Hadley" she answers with a roll of her blue eyes. "I just don't understand why you had a breakdown because I kissed a vampire. He does an important work to me, and if he responded the kiss it would mean that he is still loyal. It wasn't because I wanted, really."
You snort at that. Yeah, right. Dozen of flashes of what you want to do to her run in your mind: you kicking her in the head, you staking Eric while she watches, you fucking Ludis at her bed, you staking her, you running back to Bon Temps. It goes on and you stare at her angrily and get up. Fuck all of this.
"I'm crying because I love you, damnit!" you scream. "I fucking love you and when you love someone it hurts to see them with someone else, no matter what motive they have" she doesn't look angry that you're screaming at her so you continue. "I love you! I love you and it kills me!" Your knees feel like jelly so you sit back in the bed and fall down in your back. "Sometimes I wonder if loving you is the best or worse thing that ever happened to me" you say, now in a normal tone. "Loving you saved me from drugs. But it hurts as if I'm still taking them. And loving you will probably kill me just like drugs would. You'll be the death of me in any way".
She doesn't say a thing, but since you've started pouring out your heart, you continue speaking. "Sometimes I think about leaving here and going back to Bon Temps to have a peaceful life. But I don't like peace, that's why I left Bon Temps in the first place, but I still think of taking off one day and running away from you to a place so far that you'd never catch me. But I love you and it keeps me here."
"I would find you" she says with a hard voice. She turns so she's able to see you. She sits in Indian style. "No matter where you go, I would always find you. It's foolish to try to leave me"
You chuckle between tears. "Yes, I know that. And since I know that, the only option I have is death. I did say you'd be the death of me. But I love you too much, and it keeps me here."
She's over me in a flash. It reminds you of the move she made on Eric and it hurts you all over again. "You will never leave me" she says, looking deep into my eyes. I try to look away but one of her hands holds the side of my face and forces me to look at her. "Are you listening? You will never leave me". You nod. The hold she has in your face is hurting, but her words are making you hopeful. Is she talking just out of possession or did she really care about you?
"Why do you think I spend my days with you, Hadley?" she asks. You shrug because you really don't know. "Can't you see? I'm killing loneliness with you."
Killing loneliness. So she sees you like a toy she can use in her boring life. That was it. You try to get up but she holds you down. "What are you thinking about? Answer me". Well fuck her.
"I'm thinking that you are a bitch. That you made me love you this much just to enlighten you. Is this it, majesty? What do you think of me? What are your plans to me?" She said you could speak your mind and you do so.
"My plans are to keep you with me forever" she says without hesitation. "I'll turn you"
Ok, what? "What?"
"Every vampire has a gift. Some can fly and etcetera. My gift is to keep my children with me forever. So I'll turn you and you'll always be mine" she says.
You want to stay with her forever. You want to, but will it hurt like this forever? You can't imagine a life with so much pain. "And why would you do that?"
"Because I love you, too" she says. You barely have time to process her words because she launches to your neck and bites it. Pain and pleasure overwhelm you, you feel so happy that she feels the same that the high of being bitten makes the world fade away.
The next time you open your eyes, the room is dark but you can see everything. You sit down and just then you notice that the queen is sat right be your side. She's smiling. "I told you I would keep you forever" she says before kissing you.