Title: The Joys of Catnip
Summary: After educating Ulquiorra about catnip, Orihime only makes matters worse for herself when she tries to intervene with his plans. Another one that got away with me ... I guess I'm in a real WAFF mood atm.
Word Count: 4254
Warnings: Lemony stuff, of course, and a fair amount of lingo.
Genre: Romance / Humour
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the amazing characters; all credit goes to the brilliant Tite Kubo. Nor do I make any money from these ridiculous plots.
* * * *
In a world as bleak as this, the dazed ramblings of the small blond Arrancar made me smile. In fact – all the time the pure intent to kill didn't encompass the slighter Hollow – the presence of the child-like being became much more preferable than the bitter loneliness the alternative offered. Don't get me wrong, Ulquiorra visited more often than previously, and he'd talk more than he did at first, but his stoic conversation didn't hold much next to the endless chatter and games Wonderweiss and I shared.
When I first introduced the game of tag to him, it had taken both Ulquiorra and Ichimaru Samas' efforts to remove Wonderweiss from the room. Of course, my laughter only encouraged him, as did the former Soul Reaper's sarcastic scolding. Only the unemotional Ulquiorra had meant business, reminding the diminutive Arrancar of his place.
Today started like no other: my unlocked door invited my playmate in and by mid morning, he had me pinned, tickling my sides like there was no tomorrow. In a fit, I knocked one of my hairpins out of place, causing it to fly across the room. Distracted by the sparkling light, Wonderweiss ceased his hold upon my ribs before lunging after the glittering object. Hairpin in hand, he became fascinated by the rainbow of colours reflected from the stones under the artificial light of Aizen's moon.
Never before had I witnessed Wonderweiss's interest in ... well, shiny things. As it happened, the Espada positioned as my carer entered as I giggled endlessly at the Arrancar's study of my hairpin. Ulquiorra merely stood in the doorway and observed as I approached Wonderweiss in an attempt to peel my accessory away from his small hands. He posed no struggle but instead watched with undivided concentration as I slid it in place.
I stood up to bow at the Espada in the doorway before sitting down to eat the breakfast that followed Ulquiorra's entrance. Wonderweiss sat happily in my lap as I ate, all the while reaching for the still glimmering hair slide. Although I could never grow agitated with such an adorable creature, his increasingly energetic movements gradually became tiresome.
"Wonderweiss, please, let me eat," I asked the Hollow politely, it sometimes worked. Not today, however. Sighing, I grabbed hold of his wrists before forcing them to his sides. "I said give it a rest," I didn't like raising my voice to him, but much like a toddler, he learnt from my harsher words. If I didn't know any better, the blonde's expression that followed resembled a pout more than anything.
As soon as I set my chop sticks down, the jumpy boy was already after the sparkly metal slides. Rolling my eyes, I took one out and set it on the arm of my couch before placing my breakfast things on the tray.
"Thank you, Ulquiorra Sama. Are there any meetings planned for today?" I asked the silent Espada conversationally.
"No," He replied with finality, however he remained in the doorway, green eyes following my movements. I smiled uncomfortably before turning to the smaller Arrancar.
"You're like a little magpie when it comes to shiny things, aren't you?" I joked as I approached Wonderweiss.
His violet eyes met mine as he tentatively replaced the hair slide, "'Hime-chan," He mumbled cutely as he did so. His calm character reverted to his hyperactive self so quickly it startled me and sent me flying onto the couch. A fluttering moth had flown into my room and the Hollow was following it as though his life depended on it.
"Nope, you're more like a child on caffeine! You're just so hyperactive." I commented more to myself. "Or a monkey on sugar, or a cat on catnip." I stood when the moth escaped through the bars of my window, leaving Wonderweiss staring into the expanse of desert. I picked up his motionless form, knowing that something would distract him from the few seconds of sadness sooner or later.
I was right, the child in my arms perked up having felt the spiritual pressure of Tousen Sama nearby. He was gone within another moment, probably already following the footfalls of the ex-Shinigami.
I only then realised that Ulquiorra was still in my room.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Ulquiorra?" (As if), I asked the powerful Hollow. His cold green stare was answer enough.
"What was that you compared Wonderweiss to?" He abruptly demanded flatly.
The question caught me off guard, "Umm, a child on caffeine?" No response, "Umm, a cat on catnip?" Ulquiorra nodded affirmative. "Well, Wonderweiss acts quite hyperactive, much like a cat would under the influence of catnip." I saw the curiosity briefly flash behind the lifeless emeralds.
"Catnip is a special herb that can have ... interesting ... effects on cats. Like a unique cat drug," That made me laugh.
"Go on," His monotone voice held more interest than I had ever heard in it before. I found it odd that catnip concerned him at all; oh well.
"Well, umm, it has similar affects to anti-depressants you could say, like a cat on caffeine ... or drugs such as cannabis." I sounded like a text book, but that was better than letting the questions in my voice become known.
Ulquiorra simply breathed out, but momentarily looked as though he was about to ... scoff? "Where does this even occur?"
"Umm, I guess most herb gardens grow it but I always remembered there being a pretty rich patch on my walk home from school," The fond memories took over and before I knew it, I was rambling for Japan, "On my way home from middle school, whenever I walked by the woodland by one of the kiddy-parks I'd see a few housecats rolling around in the hedges. They were so cute and funny – hyperactive even," I cut myself short: the Espada had already left; although, to be honest, I would have bored even myself.
* * * *
I tried to keep my glances subtle, but I'm sure Ulquiorra knew I was watching him. Nothing about him had changed, not really; he insulted fracción just as much as normal, and essentially ignored all those beneath him. Nnoitra and Grimmjow both bugged him similarly as normal, Ulquiorra paying neither much attention – nothing new there either. Well, perhaps he insulted the latter less, which only served to provoke the destructive Arrancar.
It wasn't until three days later, when I was forced to endure another meeting that I began to piece things together. I was either very dense for not working it out sooner, or for being completely off my rocker.
At first I simply followed the faint smirk from green eyes to blue. Grimmjow didn't notice to begin with before he felt that he obstructed both our lines of sight. His frown met Ulquiorra's scheming stare and his anger grew more evident on his expression. Seeing Ulquiorra's growing sneer to this, Grimmjow forcefully shrugged off his glare, blocking out the Fourth's presence.
I never would have thought that Ulquiorra would have been one to sink so low, but after seeing such a contrast to his normally flat outlook, I instantly rethought my theory. I didn't have to have seen the Sexta's resurrecćion form to know his feline lineage: I could already tell so much from his movements; what his fracción spoke of his form before he became an Arrancar; the name of his sword and even the name 'Jaegerjaques'.
Ulquiorra was going to get him; and he was going to get him good too. Although the idea of Grimmjow under the affects of catnip was highly amusing, this Espada was one of the most violent of them all. He didn't need any more energy! This was going to get dangerous!
I should have explained more clearly to Ulquiorra how violent the cats could get, or at least toned down how cute they were. I'd practically told him where to get the wretched stuff from. Dang, this was entirely my fault, and there wasn't a lot I could do.
It's not like I could just ask Ulquiorra to back off, the only time he had ever really listened to me was when I started this whole mess. But then again, I could give the other party a heads up. A dangerous task, maybe, but it could work. Chances were Grimmjow didn't have a clue about catnip and its effects – unless he had a secret stash and got high from time to time; unlikely – so the least I could do was tell him what I'd told Ulquiorra.
After the assembly, I chose a detour as I left the hall, following Grimmjow along the many hallways. Every time I nearly spoke, I backed out. Although not the strongest Espada, Grimmjow was the rudest. I received enough criticisms in this place without looking for them here.
"The fuck d'ya want, girl?" He demanded suddenly.
"Ah, umm," He could have given me a countdown with hand signals and he still would have caught me off guard. "Ulquiorra's going to set you on catnip," I blurted. Better to get this over with.
"Catnip, huh? What the hell's that?" Grimmjow asked, slightly calmer than before.
"Well, it's a herb that makes cats act ... differently." I answered carefully.
"And how the fuck would Ulquiorra know about something like that?" I heard the accusation in his voice. Darn it.
"Umm, I may have ... mentioned it ... accidentally," I stammered. Great, I do my good deed for the day and I'm most likely going to end up skewered on this Hollow's arms.
"Che, whatever girl," Grimmjow shrugged before turning away.
"Just be aware of what it is, that's all. That if you smell something really, really, nice, that it's probably catnip." I called after his retreating form but he was directly in front of me before I could blink.
His azure eyes bored down at me condescendingly, "It may surprise you, girl, but I am more man than cat." With his sarcastic comment, Grimmjow made his way down the rest of the hallway.
Before I could start to worry as to where in Las Noches I was, Ulquiorra approached me from the opposite end of the hallway. Brilliant, he'd probably heard everything. Yup, his jade glare said it all.
"Even with a notice board warning him, trash like him wouldn't know what had hit him until it was too late," the Fourth Espada stated coolly. "Nice try, girl, but don't try to interfere again." His threat sent shivers running up and down my spine and I still hadn't calmed down even by the time I was tucked up in my comfy bed. Tonight was going to be a long night.
* * * *
I felt better when I woke up: I'd tried to help but it wasn't my fault that the Sixth Espada was too arrogant for his own good. That's just his bad luck. I had a shower and washed my hair, as per usual, before I felt the surge of Aizen's spiritual pressure spread through his palace, informing all he was planning a meeting in the near future.
I was on time to the meeting but my clean hair was still marginally damp. Throughout most of the meeting, I tried to comb my hair through with my fingers to avoid it knotting while I drank my tea, while of course giving Aizen Sama my undivided attention. Even if I had intended to listen to every word the once Soul Reaper said, Ulquiorra's constant watch distracted me greatly.
What was he waiting for? Normally bored eyes were today impatient, a very slight alteration which I could only just notice. I fidgeted more than necessary under his cold stare, playing with my now mostly-dry hair self consciously. An unexpected glimmer behind the green orbs told me that his wait was over.
I was suddenly no longer under the Fourth's scrutinising observation but instead, Grimmjow was the object of his study. I too watched with mild interest as the cerulean haired Espada caught scent of something new in the air. Had I not felt overly cautious from the potential danger, I would have found the Sixth Espada's reaction very funny.
At first, blue eyes simply widened before his sensitive nose twitched while trying to identify the source of the strange smell. His more animalistic instincts caused his ears to respond to every minute sound and I'm sure he didn't normally scratch the back of his neck so much before. Why did Ulquiorra's faint knowing smirk make me believe that Grimmjow's fidgeting would in no way be the worst of this?
Before the table's other occupants became aware of Grimmjow's abnormal behaviour, the gathering was dismissed, although how many had actually paid attention to much else besides 'and that is all for today's update' was debatable.
I didn't leave immediately; instead I lingered to see if either Ulquiorra or Grimmjow would move first. However, Grimmjow's eyes merely darted about the hall, no doubt searching for the cause of the scent while Ulquiorra just sat monitoring the situation.
A few moments passed without change before I decided to vacate the vicinity. I didn't get far before I heard a second pair of footsteps close behind me. I made it to my door, the stalker following still, but not much further before Grimmjow suddenly stepped in front of me, irritation – or confusion – mapped across his features. Oh, what had I done wrong now?
I was about to ask what he wanted but I was startled as he unexpectedly buried his nose in my hair, pulling my body close to his as he drew in the scent of it. I heard his vague hum of approval as he lent down, making his way to my neck where he continued sniffing my skin. Even if I'd had the courage to question his actions, somewhere along the line I lost the ability to use my voice.
All this time I had been worried about the Espada becoming more psychotically dangerous, and yet I found myself having difficulty remembering just how to use my legs to keep myself upright when I felt his searching tongue caress my throat. In an attempt to remain stable, I clung to Grimmjow's shoulders while his strong grip on my waist held me tighter against his chest.
I didn't even realise I was moaning into his ear until a playful bite to my collar bone elicited a louder gasp, and at the same time I noticed for the first time that the Sixth Arrancar was purring against me. Despite my moans of pleasure and Grimmjow's constant hum of enjoyment, I still managed to detect the slight footfalls of Ulquiorra's approach; and even in the wake of my distracted and blurred vision, I could still note the minor smirk that graced the Fourth's stoic mask.
"What did you ... oohhh ... do?" I managed to hiss at the other Arrancar, but not without my excited sigh.
I don't know if Ulquiorra responded or not: Grimmjow had forced me against my door before it burst open, resulting in the strangely – and wonderfully – affectionate Espada pinning me to the cold floor while he ravaged the bare skin of my neck.
I dimly remember Grimmjow kicking the door closed, but my mind was preoccupied as he pulled my collar out of his way, freeing his path lower down. His hurried hands fumbled with my white bodice but he eventually removed the offending garment.
The cold marble floor against my spine woke me from my delightful trance and I forced myself to sit up slightly, shying away from the freezing surface. The Espada above didn't seem to mind, he simply leant up with me, still eradicating all articles of clothing from my body.
Soon enough, I found myself naked and shivering against the chilled floor but melting beneath Grimmjow's amazing ministrations. Either sensing my discomfort or desiring a change of location, the blue haired Arrancar lifted my body easily and immediately placed me haphazardly upon my bed, not once abandoning my apparently addictive flesh.
His tongue was everywhere: lazily lapping at my shoulders; eagerly sucking on my pressure-points; teasingly working its way across my breasts. I felt the strong Arrancar lie in between my legs as he kissed his way closer and closer to the darkened tip of my left breast.
I didn't need to latch onto his hair once his lips had made contact with my nipple to keep him there: evidently Grimmjow was happy to remain exactly where he was for some time, sucking intently on my sensitive skin. My long string of moans turned into a mantra of bliss as one of the Espada's hands rose to please my otherwise neglected breast.
I was in heaven. No coherent thoughts could pass through my cloudy mind as the dangerous Hollow caused my body to experience the most erotic and sinful pleasures I'd ever felt. Having little control over my limbs, I eventually clung to Grimmjow's shoulders, desperately trying to relieve some of the mind blowing tension he was building up. My legs wrapped themselves around his still clothed person and I subconsciously began to grind myself against his hips in an attempt to alleviate the growing need.
The need was becoming unbearable but it seemed the Arrancar was quite content to simply lick my skin until the cows came home, which did absolutely nothing to help my growing frustration. I didn't understand why Grimmjow was so utterly distracted, but that worried me less and less as the minutes ticked by and the tension in the pit of my stomach only grew.
I could feel the Espada's appreciation of the situation rubbing against the apex of my thighs, creating marvellous friction that I wanted more of. I knew what I needed; I could almost feel the heat emanating from his arousal and every time I moved myself against the hard length, his attentions to my neck and chest intensified.
I was scared; Grimmjow was in no way a friendly creature and despite his current behaviour, he had never been anything but rude to me. Although I knew he could have been a lot worse, he still didn't fill the criteria of the character that should be in my arms. But despite this, no one had ever made my heart race like he apparently could and if I didn't do something about my increasing desire, I might have imploded right then and there.
Anxiety caused my hands to shake as they pushed away his jacket, revealing more of the tanned, toned skin I was already memorising. He shifted his body briefly to allow me to remove the clothing and he adjusted accordingly as I pulled his hakamas lower after removing the black sash from his body.
I didn't know where to look; he knew what I wanted now and it embarrassed me somewhat. I needn't have worried because my troubled eyes were met with a surprisingly calming blue gaze. The look was brief: his talented tongue soon resumed its incredible caress of my sensitive skin, reminding me of what I needed so badly.
Moaning with desire, I rubbed myself against him again, this time without the barrier of his clothing. The sensation of his heated member against my wet core was exhilarating and without another thought, I altered my position slightly to lie beneath the Espada more comfortably.
Grimmjow startled me by unexpectedly capturing my lips with his. I only then realised that I hadn't kissed him before just then, in fact I had never actually kissed anyone before that hungry moment of passion, directly before I felt the Espada thrust into me.
I could not stop myself from biting down on his tongue when I felt the sharp pain of his intrusion. I found the sting too sudden to cry but as soon as I felt the soothing and now familiar touches of his tongue and lips against my throat, the pain quickly dissipated.
The burning desire returned full throttle and I moved against his hips experimentally. Grimmjow's answering purr told me to continue but after only two rotations, my actions slowed. It was my turn to hum my pleasure when the Espada began to move in and out of my body, slowly at first. My moans of pleasure increased respectively as his thrusts accelerated gradually.
I tried to keep up with his motion, but in the end I could only tug on his shoulders and hold his body as close to my figure as possible. My hands glided over his back until they tangled themselves in the messy teal hair that was one of his most defining characteristics.
I accidentally tugged on the cerulean strands as I felt the burning desire suddenly rise exponentially, causing my body to shake under his warm skin. I began moaning his name repeatedly as the need continued to grow, beyond what I thought my body could handle. I think I screamed his name when the desire suddenly uncoiled, an explosion of pleasure surging through my body as I struggled to remain conscious after my first orgasm.
Grimmjow's constant purr displayed his approval as the volume of his delighted hum augmented while my core quivered around him, his hot length still pumping in and out of my body.
I don't know how long he brought such pleasure to my body; days may have drifted by without our notice or his release of my neck; I lost count of how many times he caused my body to convulse around him. Although some details may be lost to my dim memory, I know that when I finally did sleep, I slept better than I ever had before.
I woke up resting atop Grimmjow's gently rising and falling chest, my legs lost in the mess of limbs beneath the sheets. Had I owned a clock, I wouldn't have checked the time: I didn't want to have to wake up; I didn't want to have to leave his side.
But life wasn't that kind. Before long, nature called and I untangled myself from knot that we had formed and I eventually reached my bathroom. While I was there I decided a shower was a good idea: my body felt sweaty and sticky.
Under the scalding water, I deftly fumbled for my shower gel on the shelf before I squeezed a globe of the fruity gel onto my hand. The bottle needed some shaking and I opened my eyes to find it nearly empty. I sighed, knowing that it wouldn't be easy persuading Ulquiorra to let me go home briefly to stock up on supplies again, while I took a closer look at the tube, calculating how many showers I had left.
It was under that greater inspection I noticed the tiny flecks suspended in the liquid that I was sure weren't there before. After scrutinizing the bottle as though its contents held the answer to life, I concluded the minute particles were fine shreds of herbs. Wide-eyed, I realised exactly what Ulquiorra had done. He'd spiked my shampoo with catnip!
Not to mention, he'd gone to a lot of trouble to do so.
Still considerably flabbergasted, I set the bottle to the side without using the gel to wash before I stepped out of the shower, hoping my wash bag still held some form of soap. My luck made a turn for the better and I cleansed myself of all traces of the plant.
Only then did I realise what my discovery meant. Last night had been nothing more than a drug-induced high. Ulquiorra probably hadn't intended things to turn out the way they did, but I suddenly blamed him for all the hurt and rejection that came crashing down upon me. I felt so played; my emotions just got caught up in his game!
I hoped Grimmjow would wake up and go before I had to re-emerge from my bathroom: I didn't want him to see how the recent events had affected me. I clambered out of the shower again and, this time, wrapped myself in my fluffy pink towel, trying to keep myself from crying in the corner.
I mentally cringed when the bathroom door suddenly opened. I occupied myself with drying my body, refusing to turn around. The Arrancar caught me off guard – no longer a first – by pulling my towel-covered body close to his while he leant his chin against my shoulder. I was unsure of what to expect but his gentle kisses and licks to my clean skin was not the reaction I anticipated at all.
Had I not washed the godforsaken stuff off? I didn't need this!
"Am I still covered in catnip?" I tried to make my voice light, but I'm sure he heard my distaste plainly.
"Nope," Grimmjow replied assuredly, but still distracted. "You just taste real good."
I'm positive he heard my reaction that time. That one little sentence that told me he actually wanted me was enough to have my heart fluttering uncontrollably. He scoffed at my increased pulse rate before he kissed my neck again prior to getting in the shower.
I was still feeling giddy as I turned to exit the bathroom and I yelped in shock when I felt Grimmjow's strong grasp pull me back into the shower, flush against his body. Maybe he was more man than cat than I previously thought.