This is for eve997 and also inspired by a website about drunk texting. (sorry about the weird story alert update if you got one, where the chapter might not have shown up. My internet kept dropping and it messed the story up when I uploaded so I had to delete it and re upload)
It's all in text messages. Hope it's not too annoying to read. It's long and gets silly but I couldn't stop imagining Sherlock getting a little silly if he drinks. And the typos are on purpose, even the German typos. Translations are in the brackets.
That one time Sherlock drunk texted John.
John I'm Bored!
-But you just got there
Yes I'm aware of that thank you
-Work on the case
Already solved, hence my being Bored
-how? you only got off the plane two hours ago
FBI met me at airport, read the case file in the car
-but you read it before you left
They had withheld important details
-that probably didn't go over well did it
No not really
-what did you do ?
Might have called them morons
-might?
And might had told them to sod off for wasting my time.
-you'll never get another case from them will you?
This is why I needed you to be here
-I can see that. Where are you now?
The hotel. I booked an earlier flight to come home. Ill be back tomorrow
-ok I'm going to lay down again
Not feeling any better?
-not really
You should go see a doctor
-cute
.. ..
John it's so boring here
-go watch some telly
Fine. Go back to sleep
.. ..
American tv is strange
-is it?
Yes more strange than the nonsense you watch
-its not nonsense
If you say so
.. ..
I cant watch this without you
-why
It's no fun when you're not telling me to shut up
-shut up and let me sleep
much better
.. ..
Are you still trying to sleep?
-no, thats not going to be possible is it?
what you are doing?
-reading and feeling like shit, instead of sleeping. you?
Sampling everything in the little frig
-the mini bar?
Yes that
-you know you have to pay for whatever you open
Oh
.. ..
the hotel has a jacuzzi
-then go use it
want me to send you pictures of me all wet in just my pants?
-Did you drink the alcohol in the minibar?
if i'm paying for it might as well do more than sample
-How much did you drink?
want me to send those pictures or not?
-yes
.. ..
john have you ever done karaoke?
-where are you?
the hotel has a pub
-I thought you were going to the jacuzzi
apparently pants is not the proper attire for a hot tub
-so you went to the pub?
yes i just said that didnt i
-are you drinking?
no
-are you lying?
maybe.
only one pint
-you hate beer
yes i certainly do
but im trying to be not bored like you suggested
so i dont bother you and you can sleep
-i didn't suggest drinking and please tell me your not singing.
no but i think i know what to get u for your birthday
.. ..
ive been told its a bar not a pub
-are you still drinking?
i stopped drinking the beer
-that doesnt answer my question
i thought you were trying to sleep
.. ..
long island ice tea doesnt taste like tea
-stop drinking and go to your room
its boring in my room
.. ..
im getting flirted on john
-thats great sherlock
the ladies love my accent . thats what they keep saying
-really? are you sure it not your witty charm
are you jealous?
-how many iced teas have you had?
only 1, kathy told me to try a amareddo thing.
-who is kathy?
ameretto sour
amaretto. they taste like candy. better than the tea
-how many of those have you had?
more than 1
-who is kathy?
my new lady friend. u are jeolous.
-no im not
.. ..
ive showed everyone pictures of you
-why?
so you wont be jealous. there calling you my boytoy
-How much have you had to drink
have to go, my turn to sing
.. ..
john ive discovered something
-what?
drinkng makes me horny
-everything makes you horny
hornier, ur lucky im not into women their all over me
-Please go to your room
.. ..
pam is teaching me german
-who is pam?
pam kathys friend she knows germain
-you already know German
ich wil dich guess what that means [I want you]
-i know what that means
you speak german?
.. ..
john are you there?
-yes
the hot tub is very hot
-you need to go back to your room
i'm gonna send you those picutes now
-just go to bed
there i sent one, guess what that is
-oh my god
guess
-put your pants back on!
-Now!
.. ..
your lovely john
are you mad john
john?
your cute when ur mad
Du bis sehr sexy [You're so sexy]
john! i want u
-please go to bed
ur mad arent you
.. ..
kathy said i can stay up as late as i want
im a grown man
-Go to bed
she sayd that your being a bad boyfriend and ur not the boss of me
-sherlock your drunk!
she says your being a ass
-I dont care what kathy says
dont be a ass
-Go to Bed!
not the boss of me!
-Sherlock please
ass
.. ..
john?
are you mad? im in bed npw
sorry i called u a ass
jon? its not my fault
First off, im drunk.
2 u arent a bad boyfriend
drei thats 3 in german
4 to hell with katy for saying your a bad boyfriend
jon?
-yes
ur a wondrful boy friend
john
-yes
i miss u
-i miss you too
are you mad/
-no. now go to sleep
ok thanks for being not mad
-goodnight sherlock
jon?
-yes
ich lieb dish thats german for i love u jon
-I love you too Sherlock. Now sleep
ok
.. ..
John I think I'm hung over
-I'm not surprised. Have you looked through your sent texts yet?
No. Why?
-Enjoy your flight
.. ..
Are you feeling any better?
-A little
It's unpleasant to fly with a hangover by the way.
-I'll have aspirin waiting for you when you get home
Also have some amaretto waiting. I've thought of a new experiment
Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading. Feedback/reviews/critiques are greatly appreciated.