Chapter Four – Time doesn't set
The darkness had enveloped him but Owen didn't care. He was suspended in a vast vacuum of nothing but he felt no fear, only pain and acute grief. He wandered if this was death; Suzie had said that it was just darkness and that it was just you...and a presence in the shadows.
Owen felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and his body tense as his body unconsciously sensed something in the dark. But even the survival instincts of his body failed to cut through the complete dejection in his heart. He just hung there making no attempt to move accepting his fate. He was dead and he'd lost Toshiko yet again. He shut his eyes. He'd never thought death would be like this. He'd never been religious and had no delusions of a heaven in the clouds with pearly gates. But he'd always imagined that it was like slipping unconscious you would be totally unaware of it. It would be blackness sure, but you wouldn't know it, you wouldn't be hanging there totally aware, able to feel, able to remember.
Owen shut his eyes tighter hoping to will it all away. Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe there was such a thing as hell. This was it being stuck forever in nothing and haunted by everything you'd done and able to play it over and over in his head. Pure agony shuddered through Owen and he let a cry into the never ending dark of shattering pain.
"You're not dead" said a calm almost gentle voice.
Owen was so startled by it that for the first time he made an attempt to move. He found it was almost impossible to move, the feeling was like trying to move through jelly. There was nothing to grab onto, there was nothing under his feet for him to walk on. In the end he was just flailing around helplessly.
"It's all right Owen, calm down, you're OK" came the soothing voice again.
"What are you?" shouted Owen into the darkness.
"It's me, Natasha" replied the disembodied voice.
Owen strained his neck trying in vain to look around him for the small petite woman but he could discern no other shapes in the dark.
"Where are you?" he screamed, his panic rising.
"I'm here Owen it's OK. You can't see me because we are in the Void, and I haven't quite mastered retaining a human shape outside of the Earth dimensions. So I'm back to my natural state."
"Then what...forget it, I don't care, but what the hell is this place and how did we get here?" replied Owen who had now relapsed back into weary apathy.
"I pulled us into the Void from the timeline we were in, the combined effect of the amnesia pills together with the fluctuating instability of that cowboy Rift Manipulator of yours was gonna do to us what it did to that parasite if we didn't remove ourselves quickly."
"Natasha?" said Owen wearily
"Yes"
"Just shut up and leave me alone" he sighed.
"But don't you want to know how..."
"No, alright, no. I just don't care anymore, what's the point it's not like me can change anything. Tosh is still dead...so I might as well be."
There was silence in the inky black void for one moment, then another until Owen felt that Natasha for once had actually listened to him and did what he asked. Left him alone to ponder an eternity without Toshiko he would be his own personal torturer in this private hell by replaying every minute of his life with Tosh over in his head.
"Yeah but it doesn't have to be like that…" Natasha suddenly started off again as if nothing had happened.
"…I was about to explain that now I know what happened I can fix it. I can save her."
Owen lifted his head up at this and instinctively turned it to look towards the voice but only finding eternal darkness.
"Are you serious?" Owen asked tentatively.
"Of course I am, I have to fix this or I am in serious trouble back with my bosses. If they find out that I've managed to let a parasite contaminate and totally wreck a timeline then they are going to go right ahead and stick me back on Fate Watch with all the other wannabe guardians. Let me tell you Fate Watch is deadly dull, you literally spend years watching paint dry among other equally inconsequential events just to make sure they happen so they perform their function in the role of the pre-ordained time continuum. So stop lounging around feeling sorry for yourself and help me fix this mess and get Toshiko's life back on the track it was meant to."
Owen realised that he hadn't followed most of what Natasha had been saying. It had all gone right over his head but he picked up the last bit clear enough and clung to it avidly like a drowning man grabbing onto a life raft.
"You...can bring Tosh back?" he whispered.
"Yes but it's all down to you whether you fix the timeline, let events run the way they were meant to."
"I'll do anything please...just bring her back."
The incandescence was crippling and disorientating. From impenetrable black he was engulfed in eye shattering white and hurtled through an unseen vortex at nauseating speed. But before Owen's brain could fully register this wide array of sensations he felt himself come to a halt.
He was standing. In the hub, to be precise he was standing at the plasma screens behind his work station. His vision was still fuzzy from the sharp ride but as the focus was slowly returning he started making sense of the images and information in front of him. It was the last thing they had all been working on until the impromptu arrival of the desperate asylum seeker who had emerged through the rift. The one the team had been forced to run after and neutralise it and had ended in tragedy.
Owen quickly flicked his eyes to the time in the corner of the plasma screen. Only ten minutes before the energy spike would alert the system and they would all be hurtling out of the door without a second thought. Owen felt a painful stab of panic jolt through him, what was he going to do?
Relax Owen, I've dealt with it.
"Natasha?" Owen whispered incredulously.
Shush, they'll hear you talking and think you've gone crazy. Just keep staring at the screen and listen.
"Did you say something Owen?" called Gwen from the gangway leading out of Jack's office. She'd obviously had her head buried in some file and looked up as she walked overhead of Owen.
"Nah, nothing" he replied jovially.
"You want to be careful you, talking to yourself – first sign of madness" she said as she walked off.
Owen smiled to himself. Oh I'm well past the first sign believe me, he thought to himself.
I can hear your thoughts you know, so stop messing around and listen to me and respond through your thoughts.
Nice to see your charming approachable nature hasn't disappeared even though the rest of you has, Owen thought as he returned his eyes, though not his attention, to the screen in front of him.
Oh yes and your wonderful side-splitting cynical satire wit is still intact too, how marvellous. Now listen, now we know what happened I was able to remove the parasite properly. Jack's disastrous attempt to spell him out of your universe forced his fractured being to take refuge in your infernal rift-manipulator. In so doing his ebbing powers of reality manipulation were absorbed and then pumped out across the parallel universes through the rift opening up seams, tears and cracks which allowed a multitude of possibilities to exist where they had no right to.
That's fascinating, replied Owen, but how does this all affect Tosh?
Oh I am so not gonna miss your constant interruptions you annoying twerp. It affects her like this; one of the things that were altered thanks to the parasite's contamination of the rift manipulator was for the rift to be momentarily opened to allow that alien through in the next few minutes. The first event in the chain that links to Toshiko's untimely death. It will now not happen.
So everything will play out not like it was meant to?
That is entirely up to you. I can only fix the external interferences of the timelines, but you're inside. You're living this reality. You have the ability to affect Toshiko's life in ways I can never dream of. You have the power of Toshiko's destiny in your hands.
Don't let her down.
Natasha's last words were branded into Owen's brain as he felt her presence disappear. He was left alone, finally and everything just felt so...normal again. It was like he'd woken up from one long endless nightmare. Everything was back to what it should be. Except now he felt a powerful weight upon him. It was up to him what the future would be, what her future would be. He sighed and slumped his head over and leaned against the screen. No one, least of him should have such a responsibility he thought.
He felt a gentle, tentative hand touch the back of his shoulder and he turned around slowly. Toshiko stood looking up at him concern etched into her face and smiling timidly held up in front of her an offering of a sandwich.
"Hey, I thought you might..." she began but was cut off.
On seeing her suddenly before him, alive and real, his soul cried out to touch her, to hold her to him. He flung himself towards her and caught her up in a vice like hug. He felt himself nearly sucking the breath out of her but he still held on tight trying almost to imprint her onto himself, to test that she really was alive in his arms and not dead on a floor somewhere.
"OK...can't...breathe..." gasped Toshiko
All of a sudden Owen released her and she fell back panting heavily and staring at Owen as if he'd gone mad.
"Oh Tosh, I'm sorry, "Owen replied quickly "I just...I don't know...felt like a hug" and gave one of his lopsided cheeky boy grins.
"Um...OK" said Tosh, who Owen could see was squirming under a mixture of elation and embarrassment.
"But er...you might have wanted to wait till after I put the food down" she said and indicated with her eyes to look down.
Owen had his eyes trace down from Tosh's flushing face until they fell onto the huge stain spread over her chest. When Owen had grabbed her he'd forgotten about the sandwich she was holding out to him and now he realised that he must have forced the plate back up and pressed it into her chest. The remains of the sandwich were now splattered all over her top.
"Oh my god Tosh I'm so sorry, I didn't...oh I'm such an idiot" said Owen.
"No, no really it's alright, I'm sure I can get it out," rushed out Tosh who was now walking over to her station, trying to wipe the food and stain off her top.
"Tosh I'm so sorry, look I'll make it up to you, I'll buy you a new top."
"That's really sweet Owen, but seriously it's fine."
"No it's not fine, I'm buying you a new top. No wait, I'll buy you a new dress instead much better."
"A dress? Oh come on Owen there's no need to go all dramatic, I'll wash this and it'll be fine. Let's just get forget about it OK" replied Tosh who just wanted the conversation to end so she could crawl off somewhere and die of embarrassment. Owen was clearly just trying to be nice in order to stop being guilty and she really wished he'd stop.
"What day is it today?" Owen suddenly asked which caught Tosh completely by surprise.
"Um it's Saturday, why?"
"Saturday...brilliant" Owen spun around grabbed his leather jacket off his chair and his keys off his desk and headed over to Toshiko, "Then we can go into Town, come on Tosh put on your coat" he said as he held it out for her.
"Are you serious?" she said
"What? The others can handle it all till we get back, besides we are entitled to a lunch break."
There was the lopsided grin again and sparks of excitement rushed through Toshiko. She had no idea what had come over him but she decided to go with this good mood of his until it ran out. She shrugged on her coat and grabbed her bag and followed Owen over to the huge revolving cog door.
"Hey, where you kids off to" called Jack from just outside his office.
"Lunch" called back Owen without stopping and without looking round "See you in a couple of hours."
Over an hour later and Owen and Tosh were sitting opposite each other at a table in the heaving Cardiff shopping centre food court. Trays of discarded junk food wrappers lay between them and Tosh was engrossed in her strawberry milkshake which for some reason Owen found he couldn't stop smiling at.
"What are you 12?" he laughed
"Shut up, it was your idea – after all this is a perfect Saturday afternoon activity for a teenager, I'm just playing along" grinned Toshiko as she twiddled the straw of her milkshake in her hand.
To think that in another life Owen had watched Tosh die not far from this spot at this exact moment. And now look at her, her face was lit up with laughter and her eyes sparkled with mischief. She looked adorable, he thought. Why had he never seen it before?
"Yeah well I must admit it's not the usual place I bring people on first date but I'm afraid this is all I could manage at the moment" he said.
Toshiko looked at him dumbstruck. "What?"
"First date – I'm usually a lot more classy, though I thought I bought back a few points with the dress" he said, his eyebrows flicking up suggestively.
As soon as they had arrived Owen insisted on marching Tosh to the one of the most expensive clothes shops and all but holding her hostage in the shop till she had tried on something. In the end after much arguing on both sides Tosh had reluctantly agreed to let Owen buy her a sedate, moderate though ultimately gorgeous black silk blouse dress on the age old argument that she would be able to use it for work as well.
"Look Owen if this is about the dress then really that more than enough, really way more. Don't feel like you have to ask me out simply because you accidently spilled something on me. Please, I'd rather you didn't."
"Tosh I'm not asking you because of that, I'm asking you because I want to."
"No you don't, you're just being polite."
"Tosh when have you ever known me to be polite?" laughed Owen "Come on Tosh, all I'm asking for is a chance. One date. A proper one this time, I promise."
Tosh smiled but was still hesitant.
"It'll give you a chance to wear the dress" he said suggestively.
"Fine. One date that's all" she replied firmly, though her heart was almost leaping out her chest.
"Let's get back to the hub before they come looking for us" she said, mustering all her self control in order to appear calm when all she really wanted to do was shout from the roof in exultation.
Owen smiled as he led her away, back to the car and back to Torchwood.