Jordan Intro: Moon Podcast Escalation! Sailor Mooooooooonnnnn… oooooo….ooooooo….. Sailor Moooon… ooooooo… oooooooo… oooooooo… Sailor Moon…

Jordan: Hello everyone, my name is Jordan D White.

Chris: My name is Chris Sims and this is Sailor Business. It's the podcast where we sit down with a friend each and every week and watch every single episode of the classic 1992 Sailor Moon anime and talk about just why it is that we love it so much. And this one I'm really excited about!

Jordan: Yes, we have a great show for you this week.

Chris (super excited): A lot better than last week, which was crap. You can skip that one, but this one is really good.

Jordan: Yeah, I really like this episode too. And to help us talk about this episode we have a special guest that we've been trying to get-

Chris: Can I introduce her?

Jordan: Go ahead; I'm sure you are better equipped to do so.

Chris: Thank you, now you've heard us talk about our guest a lot on the show before in great detail, but if you're not familiar with her she is a Virgo, her blood type is A, her favorite gemstone is sapphire, her favorite school subject is math, (whispers) she's secretly in love with Sailor Jupiter.

Jordan (groans): oh no, not now.

Chris: She is the kind hearted girl genius herself, Ami Mizuno.

(silence)

Chris: Ami Mizuno…

Jordan (confused): Sailor Mercury are you there?

Chris: Um is there something wrong with skype? Ami can you hear us?

Jordan: Wait let me check. Oh wait I've got the video up. Ah… She's reading book.

Chris: Oh brother, well I guess we should have expected that. (yells) Ami can you hear us? We are beginning the show.

Ami: Oh I'm sorry, I was reading and I didn't want to lose my place. I was at a very fascinating chapter.

Chris: What were you reading there advanced algebra?

Ami: Actually it is advanced geometry. I need to study for the big test for cram school tomorrow. Although the test is supposed to be on trigonometry it always a good idea to study ahead in case the teacher decides to try to surprise you.

Jordan: That is so smart of you to always be thinking ahead.

Chris: Yeah, but not as smart as Fourza.

Ami: Who?

Chris: Kamon Rider Fourza; let me fill you in. He is a superhero like you, but he drives a motorcycle and has an IQ of 600 while you have an IQ 300. Which don't get me wrong is still very impressive. The average human has an IQ of around 100, so you are three times smarter than the average person, but Fourza is twice as smart by you.

Ami: You are correct. Although I must point out that the Intelligence Quotient doesn't exactly measure how smart you are, but how well you can apply knowledge to problem solving and one's potential to learn more.

Chris: Yeah, yeah I get it your smart. You're just trying to distract me with mumble jumble like you do with your bubble attacks which are completely harmless. Bubbles never hurt anyone.

Ami: Um actually, carbon dioxide bubbles have been known to come up from lakes and suffocate and kill people.

Chris: Whoa, did you just um actually me? No one um actually me. I'm the king of um actuallys. So… um actually despite the potential for natural bubbles to kill people you've never used bubbles to hurt monsters only disorient them so that they may be defeated by one of the other sailor scouts.

Ami: I can't bear harming a soul which why I am going to Germany to go to school to become a doctor.

Jordan: Wait, what is so special about Germany? Why can't you just stay in Japan? Also I don't mean to crush you dreams, but it is rather selfish to leave you responsibilities of being a sailor scout to be a doctor.

Ami: Well I'm not going to be a sailor scout much longer anyway. As soon as we defeat the Black Moon Clan Crystal Tokyo and the Moon Kingdom will be safe and there will be no reason for me to become Sailor Mercury. I will be free to leave Japan and do whatever I want.

Jordan: Oh ah hmmm… are you sure about that? You know maybe…

Chris: Jordan, allow me. Ami, sorry to break it to you kid. I mean spoiler warning; you're going to be Sailor Mercury for a long time. Although I haven't seen beyond R, I know that you have at least a hundred more episodes and several more groups of villains that you will have to fight. Sorry for stomping on your dreams of becoming a doctor, but the Sailor Scouts are going to be needing your help. Again sorry, but you know with great power comes great responsibility.

Ami: What? No, The Dark Kingdom was the only threat to the Moon Kingdom and The Black Moon Clan is the only threat to Crystal Tokyo. And Ail and An where… whatever. But what else could there be for us to fight? If we had any other villains Luna or Chibiusa would tell us right? You know Luna seems to know everything about the Moon Kingdom and Chibiusa is from the future and she would know if we had to fight anymore villains.

Jordan: You would think but you know Luna has lied to you before right? She did keep the fact that Usagi was the Moon Princess a secret for quite a while and you know recent events have shown that Chibiusa isn't a very reliable source.

Ami (confused): What? No, this cannot be. But they… I mean… How could this be?

Chris: Sorry again, but Chibi actually becomes a villain and Luna hasn't told you yet, but there is even more Sailor Scouts.

Ami: More scouts? How?

Chris: Yeah, four more. Like you know all nine planets. Did the thought never occur to you that if there is a Sailor Mercury then why isn't there a Sailor Neptune?

Ami: Really? Four more? And Chibiusa a villain. How? What? I've been lied to! Everything Luna has told me has been one big lie! (Becomes more frantic) Wait Ail and An? Ail and An! What are Ail and An?

Chris: Well the animators had to fill in thirteen more episodes.

Ami: Well there more villains, okay. We'll just defeat them all right? I'm only fourteen now right? By the time I'm twenty they will all be gone and then I can go to college in Germany and finally become a doctor.

Jordan: No sorry, but you know how Chibiusa is from the future. Well she's seen that one thousand years in the future you're still Sailor Mercury and a teenager.

Ami (hysterical): What? No! I was supposed to become a doctor like my mother. Now I can't! All of the studying, all of the classes. Was it all a waste? I could have spent all of that time training. I could have developed a better attack! (crying) All I do is shoot bubbles! I am useless! WWWWAAAAAAHHHHH!

Chris: Oh shit, what did we do?

Jordan: Mercury, it's okay. I mean you know it's not that bad.

Chris: Yeah, like the world already has enough doctors and you would still be a valued member of the senshi. If it wasn't for you who else will distract the monsters so that Sailor Moon can use Moon Healing Escalation. Well there's also Tuxedo Mask, but you make it all bubbly.

Jordan: Come on, Ami cheer up.

Ami: Wahhh! I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Chris: Oh crap, we really dropped the ball there.

Jordan: Do you think she'll be okay?

Chris: I think so. Like she would have found out sooner or later right?

Jordan: I guess so, but I just feel bad about this. Like we could have told her in a nicer way or let her find out on her own, but in the course of five minutes we just destroyed her life. Are bad people?

Chris: I don't know. Maybe?

The End