Speaks asked for LadyNoir/Criminal, and while I know that this is not at all what she was expecting—it's what I came up with. I hope you guys enjoy it anyway.

Bridgette stumbled downstairs to the kitchen sleepily, rubbing her eyes and yawning. It was far too early to be up; even the sun wasn't up yet. But for whatever reason, she woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. The answer here?

Coffee.

She reached the bottom and absently flipped the light switch, only to freeze in shock at the large black cat crouched on the kitchen island, staring at her with wide green eyes.

"Wha—how did you get in here?"

Her voice must have startled it, because it jumped straight up into the air and then scuttled to the floor. Its sudden movement certainly startled her; she jumped out of her skin with a shriek fit to wake the dead. She pressed a hand to her thundering heart, telling herself to calm down.

"Here, kitty, kitty," she called softly, walking further into the kitchen.

There was a noise at the top of the stairs, and she turned to see Felix shuffling down towards her. "Bridgette? I heard you yell, is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. A cat got in here somehow, and it startled me."

He blinked. "A cat?"

"Yeah, a big black one."

He gestured behind her. "You mean that one?"

She turned and saw that the cat in question was peering at them from around the corner of the island. She crouched very slowly, and held her hand out. "Here, kitty. I'm not going to hurt you," she said soothingly.

It blinked its impossibly green eyes at her and tilted its head as if considering her words. Then it took a few tentative steps forward and meowed.

"Are you a talker, then? You certainly are a pretty chat noir, aren't you?"

"Don't even think about it, Bri."

"Oh, hush, Felix. I'm just saying hello. Why don't you start the coffee?"

He grumbled under his breath, but moved around the other side of the kitchen to do as she asked. "Well, I know how that mangy cat got in. He ripped out the screen in the window over the sink. He sighed theatrically. "As if I didn't have enough to do already. Stupid cat."

She smiled at his grumbling, and sat on the floor to wait for this Chat Noir to come closer. "So you broke in like a criminal, didn't you? I guess that makes you a cat burglar," she crooned.

"You're not as funny as you think you are, Bri."

The both ignored Felix.

The cat stood and flicked his long tail, and sauntered a few steps closer to her. He stopped just out of reach, and sat again. "Meow," he said, flicking his tail again.

"Come on, pretty. Will you please let me pet you?"

"Mrow!" He meandered a bit closer, and she held her hand out to him. He considered her for another moment, then deigned to sniff her delicately.

"Can I pet you?" She moved her hand slowly, but he still shied away. She froze, allowing him time to sniff her again, and he rubbed his face along the edge of her hand. Still moving slowly, she put her fingers to her ear and gave a light scratch. To her surprise, he bumped her hand again, and began to purr. "Oh, aren't you a sweet heart?"

She stroked her hand over his head and down his back, noting the absence of a collar. "What are you doing here, without a collar? You're obviously someone's pet."

"Meoow." He bumped her hand again, then moved to the door and looked back at her expectantly.

"You want out?"

"Mrow." He ran back to wind around her body, then padded back to the door and stretched up to paw at the handle. "Mrow!"

"Ok, ok, I can take a hint." She followed him and opened the door, smiling when he darted out. Strangely, though, he stopped only a few meters away, and looked back over his shoulder at her. "Go home, Chat Noir!"

"Mow." He came back and twined himself around her legs, making an unusual chirping sound.

"What? I opened the door for you, you should go home."

He moved a few meters away, and looked back at her again. "Meow!"

"Felix, I think he wants me to follow him."

"He's a cat, Bri. He's just being a cat."

She slid her feet into the old shoes by the door, and pecked him on the cheek. "Well, it can't hurt to see, right? It's not so dark out anymore. I'll be right back."

"If something happens to you, it'll be your own fault!" He called after her as the door closed.

"Ok, you've got me out here, now what?"

He darted away and she followed him, increasingly sure that that's what he wanted. He kept coming back again to rub at her ankles, as if making sure that she was staying with him. "Where in the world are you taking me, cat?"

"Meow!" He led her to another town house several buildings up the street, ran right up to the front door, and pawed at the door, crying.

"I can't go in there, cat, that's not my house!"

"Mrooow!"

Bridgette approached the house, and noticed the stained glass ladybugs in the window just to the right of the front door. "Oh, I know who lives here. It's the older lady with the red and black Volkswagon. The one with the pretty garden out back."

"MROW!" He circled her legs again and returned to the door, reaching up again to paw at the door knob. This time, though, he leaned his weight against it and it pushed open, showing that it hadn't been latched properly. He darted through.

"Oh. Well, that's not good." Bridgette walked up to the door and knocked gently, but there was no answer. "Hello? Is everything ok, here?"

"Mow!" The cat came back out, bumped his head into her shin, and then slipped back into the house.

"Uh, this is going to sound weird, but I think your cat wants me to come inside. Is that ok?" Still no answer. Hmm. "O-ok, I'm going to come in now, uh, Mme…uh, Mme Agreste!

She pushed at the door, but there was something on the other side, preventing it from opening all the way. Deep foreboding bloomed in her chest, and she pushed again, opening it just far enough for her to slip inside. The old woman was collapsed on the other side of the door, the cat pacing anxiously around her. Bridgette felt herself pale and knelt to check for a pulse with shaking fingers—and heaved a sigh of relief. It was thready, but it was there.

She put the call in to 112 and answered the dispatcher's questions as well as she was able to, and agreed to wait there until help could arrive. Then, sitting on the floor next to the woman, she called Felix to explain what had happened. The cat crawled into her lap almost immediately, and sat there purring as she stroked his head with one hand, and gently held the woman's fingers with her other.