Potions class had already begun by the time Remus slid into the dungeon room. He quietly took a seat near the back of the class, avoiding eye contact with the class. He sat through the class, not paying attention. He had much bigger things to think about. Countless scenarios poured through his mind. Sirius finding out, laughing in his face, Peter and James joining in. Them telling the whole school. His parents discovering what he was, and throwing him out to the streets. Him telling Sirius, then Sirus being too disgusted to even look at him again. All these cases involved Remus losing his best friend. However, a lingering thought stayed with Remus. What if Sirius felt the same way? What if in telling Sirius he was in love with him, their marvelous friendship could become something more? This was tearing him apart. He didn't want to raise hope in fear of being greatly disappointed, yet the ideas of being rejected made Remus sick.
"Oy! Snap ou' of it!" James slapped his broad hand on Remus's desk. He blinked, disturbed from his deep thoughts. "We're off to play exploding snap with Nearly Headless," referring to the ghost of Gryffindor that the Marauders often enjoyed company with. Remus bent to get his books from below the desk, and bumped hands with Sirius who had also gone down to help. A look passed from one boy to the other as they glanced up to each other, and as a moment turned into longer that look turned into more. As they all made their way up to the Gryffindor commons room, Remus couldn't help but think that him and Sirius had shared something back there. Remus could only hope Sirus had the same thought as he watched that head of black hair walk ahead of him through the corridor.
A taller boy walking by Remus's side nudged him. "Look, there's Lily Evans. Should I go bother her again?"
"C'mon James cut it out. You're not going to win her over by this harassment."
"No she likes it, I can tell. I think I'm going to ask her out for the next Hogsmeade next trip."
"I've heard that before. You need to figure out a new game plan mate."
"What bout you? Who're you looking to snog?"
His heart beat fast as Sirius's face appeared in his mind. "Er, I haven't given anyone here much thought. That girl over the summer gave me enough trouble." In August on the train ride, when the boys were catching up from each of their summers, Remus had come to realize he was the only one without a first kiss. Even Peter managed to snog Mildred Pierce, a desperate girl a year younger. Remus wove together a fictional tale of a Muggle girl who shared with him a few lakeside moments around their nearby country houses. He told the boys how she soon became too much, becoming clingy and too attached. They had sympathized, assuring him this year would be a good one. And it had been. Remus and Sirius were closer then ever. Sirius had even confided in him his troublesome relationship with his family, which he hadn't even told James. Sirius revealing such a fear was a big deal, because for him, any sign of vulnerability was a sign of weakness.
With that reassurance of the trust they had with each other, Remus began to feel slightly more comfortable with coming clean with his true feelings. The guilt that had been riding him for keeping this secret from his closest friend was so overwhelming. In a final surge of confidence, he made the decision that this had to be done. Tonight, he would tell him.