Here's chapter 4. The story is still very much AU and of course B&B call themselves by their given names. I know I'm entering a new territory here, suffering and suspense being what really challenges me at the moment. And of course, I want to dig a little deeper into B&B's feelings. I hope you'll like it. There's still more to come... Thanks for reading.
A/N: I do not own any of these characters.
PAIN
Brennan felt the blood turn into ice in her veins and her heart heavy like a stone. Her breath stopped and she was numb in his arms. Booth felt her slip from his embrace and simply released her knowing she needed to get away from him. He had not expected a different reaction from her. He turned around to follow her as she let herself drop on the couch eyes staring at the void. He sank in the armchair facing her.
Brennan tried to recover from the unexpected blow.
A son. His son.
But then who was she to judge? - she told herself. - What could possibly be wrong with that? He was married, he had a child. End of the story.
She suddenly felt so sorry for him, seeing him so helpless before her and she had to swallow hard not to break down again. She was strong, had always be strong. And he needed her help. That's why she had come all the way to Quebec. She took a deep breath and looked at him with querying eyes.
"He's been missing for so long... you know... the first hours after an abduction are the most crucial... it's been almost five days now ... I … don't know what to do... and I don't think I'll be able to survive if..." he confessed flopping back.
"Don't do that Seeley. Don't torture yourself." she said her eyes filling.
"He's only three years old ..." he paused his eyes lost in space. "I got a phone call last night... from the police... they've found a body by a lake near Trois Rivières... a small child. They wanted me to go and take a look at the remains but I couldn't do it, not by myself. I just buried my face in the pillow and cried my eyes out... that's when I called you Temperance."
"Where's the body?" she inquired her brain already switching into full function mode.
"At the M.E.'s lab."
"I need to shower and change. Then we'll go together."
"Thank you." - He said truthfully – " Take all the time you need. I'll wait for you downstairs..."
"I won't be long Seeley."
She let the hot water run on the upper part her body to release the tension she had accumulated on her shoulders. She quickly dried herself, put on some clean clothes then took her cell phone out of her purse quickly going through the numbers until she found the one she was looking for.
They drove in silence. The snow covered landscape surrounding them in its hushed atmosphere. She didn't ask for explanations, he wasn't ready to give her any. Not yet. There would be time for that. Both of them were lost in thoughts too personal and too painful to share.
Brennan relived the horror she'd experienced less than a year before in Guatemala. She had been called to identify a whole class who had been burned alive in a village. The little corpses almost glued together in the final attempt to escape one of the most horrible deaths ever. And then she had worked on some mass graves in Rwanda. Layers of bodies dumped casually into enormous holes it had taken her weeks of hard work to sort everything out. And weeks of convincing herself that that was not the worst thing she would ever see in her life. Still... when children were involved even her proverbial ability to compartmentalize weakened. And now the kid she was going to look at could be his son. How was she going to cope with that? How was she going to tell him?
Booth kept his eyes fixed on the road ahead. He had glanced at the navigator only once well aware that as time went on he got nearer to the moment he was terrified to face, hoping to procrastinate the final fit of pain which was going to tear him apart. She was silent next to him. He knew that she was very conscious of the terrible task she was about to accomplish. Neither of them dared to look nor speak to the other. The stillness of silence almost deafening them.
When the road sign announced they were entering Montreal she turned to look at him.
"They're moving the remains to the forensics lab of the Quebec Institute of Anthropology Seeley."
"How do you know?" he inquired.
"Because I asked them to do so."
"You did?" he was puzzled.
"I made a phone call before we left, to my Canadian colleague, Dr. Levallois. We've worked together on several occasions. He's the best forensic anthropologist in Canada. I told him to also make full x-rays of the body so we won't waist too much time once we get there and... – she paused – we might need your blood sample just in case we have to run a DNA test."
Booth stiffened in his driver's seat. She sounded so professional and detached he felt his heart chill. But then he realized that by speaking in her cold, matter-of-fact way she was preserving herself from losing the grip with impartiality. No matter how smart or kick-ass she was about to examine some kid's remains, looking for an answer she must be dead scared to give to him.
"Thank you Temperance. I really appreciate what you're going through to help me."
The answer he got was her best smile.
Brennan and Levallois had been working on the boy' s remains for what seemed like a lifetime to Booth. She had pulled her hair up and the blue lab coat she wore clung perfectly to her body revealing the soft curves of her breasts. Her hands covered in latex gloves moved gently over the body lying on the metal table and he was mesmerized by how comfortable and self assured she was at her job. He couldn't help but think about the striking contrast between the sweet yet naive teenager coming apart in his arms and the full-blossomed woman he was now looking at and his whole being felt driven toward her. His body aching to feel every single inch of her creamy skin again. She talked confidently to her male colleague holding his gaze as they went through every bone below them. From time to time she moved to the light board where the x-rays had been placed and she lingered there. Booth could almost sense her brain process rapidly the data she was getting from the examination.
Her facial expression had not revealed the slightest emotion during the whole procedure . So when he saw her remove her gloves and shake Levallois' hand with a smile he jumped up to walk towards her.
"We have examined these remains quite thoroughly and we have come to the conclusion that this is not your son Seeley. This poor boy was at least four years old and his bone structure shows severe malnutrition. And he's been dead for at least ten days by the state of his decomposition."
"Clandestine immigrants?"
"Probably. It's up to the police to find out."
"What happened to him?" he asked terrified to know considering how small the corpse looked on that table.
"He suffered a great deal before dying... we've discovered several fractures, his ribcage has been violently crashed thus causing perforation of both lungs and heavy hemorrhage. Somebody knelt on his chest and finally strangled him."
"Any sign of... sexual assault?" he inquired his voice lowering.
"None. We can confirm what the M.E. wrote on the autopsy report. Still..." - she paused drilling her now darker blue eyes into his – he was so young and unaware of what was coming... he didn't even try to defense himself from the blows..." Her eyes filled and he saw a tear slip down her cheek. He reached out and gently captured it with his fingers. Then he took her hands and brought them to his lips placing a warm, long kiss on her palms.
"I will never be able to pay you back Temperance."
"Don't even think about that Seeley. Now we have to find your son."
"You hungry?" he asked looking at the way she was devouring her Asian tofu salad.
"Very!"
"You are a hell of a woman Temperance Brennan. You know that, don't you?
"Well, I've heard that before actually." she replied smiling.
He looked at her in awe. She was so beautiful, so brilliant and so desirable his whole body shivered.
He loved the way her eyes sparkled when he paid her a compliment the color slightly changing on her cheeks as if she was still the young girl who had changed his life.
"Where's your wife?" she dared to ask.
"Straight to the point eh?" he said holding her gaze. "I... am not married. She never wanted to marry me."
"And you? Did you want to marry her?"
"Yes, I thought I had to... though..." he paused and lowered his eyes. Then looking at her again he added "...I didn't love her."
She didn't have to ask why. She already knew their brief encounter had ruined them forever.
"You? Are you married?"
"No. I've never believed in long lasting commitment. Marriage is an absurd way of binding people for life thus preventing them to experience what nature has provided. And I have no kids. I guess I'm quite satisfied with the life I chose for myself. Freedom has allowed me to travel, study, engage myself in the most amazing activities a human being can ever think of."
"And are you happy Temperance?"
Was she? She asked herself.
"I don't need anything more than I have..." she stated knowing that what really hurt was lying to herself.
There was a long pause then he moved his hand on hers.
"Temperance I..."
"Please Seeley don't. Not now." and she felt her heart shrink.
"I'm sorry." - he apologized - "you're right."
"It's late, we should get some sleep." she suggested.
"Yeah... it's been a hard day for both of us."
They were silent once again as he led her to her room.
"Good night Seeley." she said placing a tender kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes inhaling her scent.
"Sleep tight Temperance. I'll see you tomorrow."
He went to his room and switched on the TV. He was heading for the bathroom to have a shower when he heard Brennan's name and stopped. Turning around he saw her picture on the screen. They were saying that thanks to her cooperation with Dr. Levallois earlier that morning the police had been able to identify the poor boy, who, just like Brennan had told him, had been missing for ten days. Like the previous two young boys who had been found dead in the area this unlucky victim had been abducted from a crowded playground. The police were now narrowing their researches to the surroundings of Trois Rivières.
He switched off the TV and leaned on the bathroom door. Then he slowly let himself slip on the floor curling up. He felt the warmth of his tears flow down on his cheeks and buried his head between his thighs.
"Oh please God. I beg you... bring him back to me."
Booth woke up to a sunny day after the first decent night's sleep in a week. His mind felt lighter and his body ready to face another painful day looking for his son. He knocked at her door to invite her to have breakfast together before setting off. He got no answer so he knocked again. He tried to reach her on her cell phone but he couldn't get through. So he went to the reception.
"Excuse me - he asked the young woman behind the desk - "I'm looking for Dr. Brennan, has she left any messages for me?"
"She has. She left quite early this morning. She said she was going jogging in the park and would be back in half an hour." the receptionist looked at her watch then back at Booth's worried face.
"But that was two hours ago and I haven't seen her come back. Her key is still here." she said pointing at the wooden board behind her.
"Damn it Temperance!" snapped Booth feeling something was terribly wrong. He ran outside and crossed the street to enter the park. The place was huge how could he possibly find her? Even if she had stuck to the paths it would take him ages to search the whole place. He scanned carefully around himself and on the ground as he walked along the park.
Then he saw it, shining in the morning sun. It was the necklace she wore the day before.
A/N: so how do you like this new twist? too cruel for Booth? please do not be upset... as I said before, still more to come