Change of Heart

Ch. 4

AN 1: Well, here be chapter four! I like to think that this is where things really noticeably split from 'Love Addict', so thank you to the people who have kept up with this story. It really does mean a lot, and the interest/feedback that I have received is amazing! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed; you guys are awesome. I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, since it is shorter than all the others, but I have a pretty lengthy chapter coming up, so I suppose it all works out. Once again, I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. Now onto the story. Enjoy guys.

Mitchie's POV

What the hell? I asked myself, staring at Alex's retreating back. I chased after her. "What do you mean, 'you can't do this'? Alex?"

She stopped at the exit, and in her eyes I saw an emotion I couldn't place. I caught glimpses of hurt, pain, and regret swirling around in her dark eyes before her walls slammed up and left me locked out of her mind. "What the fuck, Alex? I unload all my problems, and you run away?" I was more than slightly hurt at her reaction, hence the cursing. I thought we were connecting before she pulled away so abruptly.

"You're right, okay? We're taking this way too fast. In fact, I'm not taking this anywhere." She said in a low tone, turning for the door again. I caught her wrist and gripped it firmly, not allowing her to walk away. Briefly, I wondered what I was doing. Why should it matter to me so much if she walked away? We weren't dating or anything. She looked at me, long and hard. Finally, she said, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I replied instantly. My answer surprised both of us, for I could see her shock written on her face and in those eyes. Those dark, expressive eyes that seemed to pull at my soul. We had known each other for a day. How could I trust her as much as I did already?

"Don't," she stated grimly, trying to unwrap my fingers from around her wrist as she did so. I gave her a confused look, not understanding what she meant, but refused to let go of her wrist. Her skin was warm under my hand, and I felt a tingly feeling spread through my body as I continued to hold her wrist. Hastily, I wrenched my attention back to what she was saying.

"It's not you, it's me," she explained, her face scrunching in frustration. I arched my eyebrow, giving her a look that said, 'that is the lamest thing I've ever heard'. Her eyes seemed to agree with me, replying silently, 'I know.' She ran her free hand over her face and through her hair in a clear sign of exasperation. Whether it was directed at me or at herself, I was unsure of. "Ugh, I'm serious, Mitchie. You shouldn't get too close, because that's what my completely fucked-up brain lives for: an excuse; a way to get in, and then get out before things turn serious. I'm not a relationship kind of person."

It felt like a knife had been plunged into my heart, and I let go of her wrist as if it burned me. "If that's how you feel," I said tonelessly, shrugging as I did so. I was trying not to allow her to see how I was feeling inside, so I avoided her gaze. So that's it, I thought. She doesn't want me. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but I was hurt nonetheless. I really liked her. I looked back into her eyes and couldn't help but add, somewhat hopefully, "But that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

She smiled softly. "Friends is a great place to be," she admitted sadly. However, her tone also sounded somewhat hopeful to me, and I wondered if I had imagined that simply to keep the hope I had in my chest alive.

My heart broke, but I knew that I'd rather just be friends than not talk to her at all. I resisted the urge to grab her hand. "Okay," I said. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness course through my body. It was more powerful than anything I had felt before; even stronger than the thought of my last breakup, which had haunted me for months after it had occurred.

This time, I knew I could see the sadness in her eyes as she repeated my words softly, "Okay."

Alex's POV

I didn't sleep that night. My head was too full of thoughts concerning Mitchie to allow me to go to sleep. Just friends, I repeated to myself. I glanced at the alarm clock propped up on my bedside table. 1:30 A.M., it read. Stifling a groan, I kicked my sheets back. Sleep just wouldn't find me tonight. I sneaked a quick glance at Mitchie's sleeping form as I crept outside.

After what seemed like forever, but was in reality only a few minutes, I was standing outside Justin's window. Glancing around, I found a couple of rocks. Stooping, I scooped them up. This was just so cliché, and more than a little weird. How many other teenage girls could say that they had tossed rocks at their brother's window like all the 80's movies show?

"Justin!" I hissed, tossing the rocks so that they bounced off the window frame.

"Alex?" he said sleepily. "Is that you? And if it is, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I needed to talk," I confessed, bouncing on the balls of my feet anxiously. There were just some moments that I needed my big brother, and this was definitely one of them.

"And you had to do it at…1:35 in the morning?!" he asked incredulously.

"Sorry…I couldn't sleep," I confessed.

I heard him groan softly, before his bed creaked and he slipped out the door. I smiled triumphantly and moved around to the front of the cabin.

"A lot on your mind, huh?" he asked, sitting down on the cabin step and gesturing for me to sit next to him. Whatever Justin's faults were, he was always there when I really needed him, and I felt a near-overwhelming sense of gratitude towards him. I really don't thank him enough, I realized as I sat down on the worn wooden step.

I blew out a breath. "Yeah, I guess. " I looked at him. "I couldn't do it, Justin," I admitted. His face showed his confusion, and I continued softly. "She was willing to…to be with me, and I walked away. I don't want to hurt her." I locked eyes with him. He looked at me in surprise. "Mitchie, she's just so different than anyone else I've ever been attracted to. With her, I don't feel a drive just to get in and get out. And that scares me more than anything."

He didn't say anything; just pulled me into a warm hug. We sat staring at the moon until I fell into sleep's deep embrace.

AN 2: So here it is...I hope that this chapter was enjoyed despite it being a little shorter than the previous chapters. Feedback is always welcome...Mitchie and Alex are making a go of just being friends. How does everyone feel about that? Review pretty please, and I will be back with an update as soon as I can. I have finals this week and will need to devote the majority of my time to that, but if I get, say, five reviews between the rest of today and tomorrow morning, I will post another chapter as soon as I am notified about the fifth review. If not, well, I'll be back after the week is just about up. And again, thanks for continuing to read this story, I really appreciate it.