*Yet another week of no clue what I'm doing. It's hard to keep writing, and wonder if anyone is reading it still. Also I have absolutely zero time to write due to my lacrosse season starting, so I'll try to update every Sunday if possible. I just have writer's block or think what I'm writing is stupid usually. Thanks for your reviews and support though!*
Shit. That's me isn't it? Am I dead? I don't feel dead. The heart monitor continued to beep, which was another indication that I was indeed alive. If I wasn't dead, then why was I here? Not here, on the hospital bed here, but as a ghost. I mean I don't think I'm a ghost really, because ghosts aren't real. And to be a ghost I would have to be dead. Dr. Cox wouldn't be hanging around still if I was dead. I don't even know why he is around; he doesn't give a rat's ass about me any other time. For instance this morning, he was being a real jerk to me, and I hadn't done anything wrong. I helped him save one of his OWN patients. All I got for a thanks was an eff' off Newbie. How very sweet. I had been bitter about it, but I guess it was the past, and I couldn't hold it against him. He had been working way too long the last couple weeks. But that fact also confused me. He hates me and he's beyond tired, so why was he here?
I was starting to feel so tired. This was all too much for me. I took a seat in the family chair, because honestly, no one was coming for me. My dad was dead, my mum sure didn't care about me, and Dan was either to drunk or busy to come. My family had been so broken, and I knew this, so I had no right to disappointed about it. If it mattered, I still had Turk and Carla. They were family to me. Turk was my brother, my black brotha! And Carla, oh Carla was like the mother I always wanted. So overprotective and helpful, I couldn't help but smile thinking about her. I wonder where Turk was, because I knew Carla was at the nurse's station bawling. Oh yeah Turk was on-call tonight…..which meant he would be my surgeon. Oh goodness I hope he had it in him to do it. I shouldn't worry, Turk is an amazing surgeon, I should know!
The fatigue was starting to finally hit me. I slowly closed my eyes, hoping that maybe this was all a dream. One…Two….Three…. The heart monitor blared. My heart stopped. My eyes felt so heavy.
"Oh hell no Newbie, you can't die on me now," Doctor Cox practically screamed, as he rushed to the crash cart. There was no one around, but he still said clear each time.
"Clear."
"Clear."
"Clear" he was slowly becoming more panicked.
"Come on. Clear!"
"Clear!"
"Come on. Come on. God God God" there was desperation in his voice. He sounded like he was going to cry. The great Perry Cox crying over me. What a horrible thought. Despite all he had done, I couldn't let this happen.
"Time of death 7.." He began. I couldn't just die and not see if Cox was crying or not. My god, that sounds so horrible. I willed my eyes to open, if only once more. Cox was on the verge of tears. Then a miracle. A slow but steady rhythm could be heard throughout the room. The monitor showed a heartbeat. My heart had started again. I wouldn't die this time.
Cox's face was in pure awe. He stood in shock for a moment or two, wondering what the hell had just happened. Then he went into action. He paged someone quite quickly, and then stood impatient and worried. If I was him, I'd be scared shitless right now. Any patient in such a situation as mine could quite possibly die, and at random too.
"Kid what the hell took so long?" Cox yelled at the new intern, who merely raised an eyebrow at him. Good for you Kid, you'll make it far in this hospital if you can put up with this old grump.
"Oh whatever, is Dr. Turk ready?" Cox asked.
"Yeah, he's down in the OR getting prepped. He told me to tell you that an anesthesiologist would be coming up to start induction." The intern replied calmly.
"Good, now get out of my site. NOW"
He stood there staring where the intern had walked out. Something really must be eating him; maybe I shouldn't have been such a jerk to him earlier. Maybe he's secretly mad at me for what happened. Oh dear that would be horrible.
"Newbie you gotta make it. Right now, it appears this is your golden hour. You can't die on me, not when I was so horrible to you. This hospital needs you, heck I need you." Dr. Cox muttered.
Oh my gosh. He just said something so nice to me, and I can't even respond or hug him. He was quite right though about the golden hour. Due to the trauma, it didn't look so good, and my chances were slowly dropping. Especially due that brief period of time when my heart had already stopped.
Once one of our anesthesiologists arrived, Cox rounded up Carla and got her to help get me down to the OR. He left her to get my body in there, while he went to talk to Turk.
"What have we got?" Turk asked casually.
"Male. Early thirties. Hit and run. Major trauma to head, possible skull fracture, with deep laceration. Dislocated or fractured shoulder, arm completely torn open, and a severe break in the ankle. Also broken ribs that have quite possibly scratched his heart."
"Oh jeez, this is a risky Dr. Cox"
"Kid, it is. But you better try your best, or you'll forever hate yourself. By the way, keep your head. This guy needs it, he's always counted on you, but now his life depends on it" Cox replied, and then walked away.
Turk was confused as he walked into the OR. Then he saw who he had to save. Me.
"Oh shit Vanilla Bear" he muttered under his breath.
Oh shit is right Chocolate Bear.