Chapter 4: Hoods, Headaches and Hugs

When Tiedoll had told Ruri of their return to the walls, she had been elated, having imagined her reunion with Levi countless times. Needless to say, waking up in a supply cart with the worst headache since her first hangover wasn't what she had in mind. Her hands and feet had been bound and she was lying on her side, the rough wood of the supply cart pressing into her cheek through the cloth of her hood. Strangely, they hadn't removed her hood when they applied the restraints, probably because they had been pressed for time, thinking that they would deal with the hooded stranger later. She had expected Levi to be suspicious of her identity, obviously, she just hadn't expected him to knock her out so soon; she had planned to reveal herself once they were safely out of the forest. But even then, a part of her had known that it had been a risky plan.

I'm such an idiot.

Who was she kidding? She had made such a big blunder back there; the moment she saw Levi sprain his ankle, something in her just… snapped, it was as simple as that, she had been won over her emotions in that split second, hell, she didn't even try to fight them, she just jumped straight into the fray, formulating a plan as she flew. All the caution she had exercised to keep her cover… gone, just like that. But it was still alright, wasn't it? She was going to see Levi soon, finally, after five years, and this time she wouldn't get socked in the head. A part of her remained obstinate, a little voice in her muddled head. She had made the right choice, she had chosen what she believed in. Had she done anything else, she would be feeling even worse. She had managed to help Levi, and that itself made it worth it…right?

She felt her stomach lurch as the cart went over a bump in the ground, her body temporarily lifted off the hard wood. Although all she could see were the sides of the cart, she figured that they were probably in transit, between the forest of giant trees and the walls. A fresh surge of pain in her brain had her wincing, fighting the strong desire to massage her temples. Of course, her blades had been confiscated, the empty sheathes a clear reminder that there were no means for her to cut her restraints. Closing her eyes, she shrank further into her cloak, regretting, questioning and anticipating.

…

Levi was having difficulty keeping track of what Erwin was saying, they were currently taking a break to discuss the expedition's route with the rest of the squad leaders. Usually, he would be able to recite Erwin's instructions word for word, but at the moment, he couldn't even remember the position of his squad in the formation. In fact, he didn't even know where the remainder of his squad was, which was why half of his mind wasn't paying attention. The other half just wouldn't stop thinking about the mysterious hooded figure he had encountered in the forest. He hadn't had time to take a proper look at the stranger's face, but from the glimpses he managed, he figured the said individual was female. What really bothered him though, wasn't the person's sudden appearance, nor was it the absence of her 3DMG, heck, it wasn't even the fact that she literally kicked away a titan's hand. There was just something so familiar about her, the stance she took when she flew, the way she had angled her body when she brought her hand up to block his blow when he knocked her out… NO. It wasn't her, it was just his mind playing tricks on him. The practical side of his brain screamed in protest. He was not going to dwell on the pains of the past, hadn't he already learned his lesson? All the pain, all the sorrow should be forgotten, had to be forgotten, and swallowed by the chasm. They would never leave him alone, yes, they would haunt him forever, but at least he wouldn't have to face them, face their reminders of past grief, he would just let them throb in a corner of his soul indefinitely. Pain would weaken him, he knew that, and he also knew that he had to remain strong, to avenge his friends. So he would bury the past, bury her, until he had done everything he could for his comrades. Yes, that was what he needed to do…

"Heichou!"

All thoughts of the stranger left his mind when Oluo stumbled into the tent, bloody and battered, but alive nonetheless. Levi rose immediately to meet his squad member, completely forgetting to get Erwin's permission.

"Where's Petra?" The words left his lips a bit too quickly, the anxiety evident.

"Sh-She's at the first aid tent, she injured her ankle when we fought the enemy. We were attacked by the enemy in the forest, sir, the enemy killed Erd and Gunther. But then w-we were saved by this hooded person and-."

"Levi."

Levi looked back at Erwin's expectant stare, having completely forgotten about the meeting. He nodded in understanding, quickly resuming his place at the table. Erwin signaled for Oluo to leave.

"We'll deal with this later," Erwin said, although he seemed to be slightly uncomfortable with the new information.

"Now back to our route… Levi, which route should we take around this ridge?"

Oh shit.

…

When Ruri had been dragged off the cart and dumped on the grass, she had held in her complaints about her manhandling. What she couldn't hold in, was the laughter that burst forth when she saw who she had been dumped next to. A very disgruntled Lavi Bookman glared at her, while a murderous Kanda Yuu sat next to him. Both of them had been tied up as well, although Lavi's hood had fallen back to reveal his bright red hair. The soldiers who were guarding them seemed to have realized that they were acquainted, probably grouping Ruri with the other two for them to be interrogated as a group later on. From under her hood, Ruri recognized Nanaba, a soldier who had also been in the same batch as her. She was in charge of the squad which was guarding Lavi.

"Fancy meeting you here," Ruri held her laughter in behind an innocent smile.

Lavi's derisive snort was cut short as he winced, nursing a swollen cheek.

"Woah… that looks bad, I suppose they didn't respond very well to you too."

"Damn right," Kanda grunted, he seemed to be alright, except for the fact that he was tied up.

"Yeah… that guy was really tough, socked me real hard. Brilliant thanks for helping them kill ten titans I daresay," Lavi's said dryly, jerking his head towards Nanaba, who was instructing some cadets a distance away.

"Um… Lavi that's a woman."

Oh. There was a silence as the redhead froze, green eyes widening. He looked from Ruri to Nanaba in disbelief, before the truth finally sank in and his shoulders slumped. Oh.

Ruri looked at Lavi's distraught profile, unsure of how to comfort her friend.

"Wait… So you're telling me the rabbit got his ass handed to him by a girl?" Kanda had been quiet for some time, but suddenly seemed interested in his comrades' conversation.

"Kanda… When you say it like that…"

"Hey! At least I'm not the one who looks like a girl."

Lavi was desperately trying to defend his masculinity.

"Cut it out guys. Don't you find it strange that no one has come to interrogate us yet?" Ruri cut in quickly, trying to change the subject. She had noticed the strange looks from the soldiers around them and realized that no one was approaching them.

"They're probably intending to interrogate us back at the HQ. This is an emergency break anyway, apparently, they can't use their original route and they're altering the plan now," Kanda spared himself a small break from the argument.

"Well they wouldn't see a very pretty look on your face if they interrogated us now, Kanda," Lavi remarked; he was really asking for it.

Kanda's hand twitched noticeably, unable to draw his blade.

Sighing, Ruri averted her gaze from her comrades, glad that they were restrained, unable to murder each other. It was going to be quite some time before she saw Levi again.

Or was it?

Because what she didn't know, was that she would be seeing Levi much earlier than she expected.

…

Petra's hug had caught Levi off guard when he entered the first aid tent. The ginger-haired soldier was sobbing convulsively, relief, sadness and a strange excitement flashing through amber eyes. The normally demure woman had wrenched herself free of a medic's grasp upon seeing the corporal, practically flying into his arms, although her bloodied ankle proved a bit of a hindrance. It disturbed the said corporal slightly; Petra was usually rather shy about acting familiarly in public, even though their close relationship was already quite well known within the legion. But if that had been a surprise, there was nothing that could prepare him for what came next.

"Levi, you're not going to believe this. Ruri is alive. She saved us from the titan back in the forest. Oluo and I were kind of suspicious of her at first, but when she revealed herself, I just couldn't believe it, and she doesn't use 3DMG, I don't know how but she just flies and-"

The rest of Petra's excited rambling was muffled as Levi struggled to process the information.

Ruri was alive.

Levi repeated the information in his head.

Ruri was alive.

He repeated it again.

Ruri was not alive.

His mind had finally began functioning, and it knew, much better than his heart, that Nadeshiko Ruri was not alive, and that she had been dead for five years. Honestly, where had his mind been about to take him? He was being weak, he was letting his emotions mislead his mind when the answer was so obviously wrong. He was falling for the same trick over and over again, allowing himself to be so vulnerable, going for the deviously convincing bait of hope…But not this time. Ruri was gone, she would never come back to him and he knew it. Petra had just watched her comrades die before her and had been injured in the battle, she was clearly in no position to be logical; she had probably seen someone who vaguely resembled Ruri and that was all. It was just a big misunderstanding….

But who was this hooded stranger and where did Ruri come in? A part of Levi continued to believe that this was all linked. Well, he would have to change that. He would confirm this stranger's identity for himself, then the answer would be crystal clear; that this was all a misunderstanding, a sick joke by fate…Yes, this was exactly what he needed.

Petra had thought it strange when Levi remained quiet throughout her rambling. She was disturbed when his shoulders started shaking. She looked absolutely bewildered when he laughed out loud. This was Levi, he almost never laughed.

"Petra, you need to rest, clearly you've been seeing things," Levi patted her shoulder the way a patronizing parent did to an indignant child.

"But, Levi-"

"Hush, darling," Levi was already making his way to the exit of the first aid tent.

Petra blushed, her unfinished sentence abandoned, watching her captain leave the tent.

Levi hadn't really cared much for his use of the endearing nickname, he didn't even think twice about it; he had something much bigger to do now. Because he was going to prove that Ruri was gone, once and for all.

…

Ruri was starting to get edgy, her sharpened soldier's instinct kicking in. She was alone now; the squad she was with had been forced to relocate after a titan sighting. Without her bickering comrades to distract her, she was especially alert. The break was dragging on too much for her liking, the longer they stayed out here, the greater the possibility of titans attacking them, and there was no way she would let herself die just because she was restrained by her own kind.

"If a titan attacks now…" she muttered under her breath, fiddling with the ropes around her wrists.

"I'll kill it," a cool, calm voice finished her sentence.

She looked up, seeing a teenage girl, probably a cadet, with short black hair. A red scarf was obscuring the lower half of her face, her grey eyes the most prominent feature visible. Her face was a calm mask; unreadable, but not hostile.

"Why did you help us back there?" Ruri recognized her now; this cadet had been with Levi when she saved Eren.

Ruri blinked, surprised. She had expected the first question she was asked to be more of a demand or threat. Furthermore, the teen seemed to have some sort of respect for her, lowering herself to Ruri's height and resting on her haunches. But even then, it was best not to push her luck and tell the truth.

"I wanted to get you guys away from the titan and out of danger as soon as possible," she replied calmly, truthfully.

"I see…" the cadet looked thoughtful.

"I honestly thought you would have asked who I was first," Ruri phrased her words carefully, the question implied. Why didn't you?

" I believe your objective determines which side you're on better than your identity," the girl looked straight at her, "I'm Mikasa Ackerman, by the way."

"Oh? The top of the 104th?" Ruri's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs, not that Mikasa could see under her hood anyway. She was impressed to say the least; the kid had the battle skills, the brains and manners.

So this was why she was rumoured to be a genius.

Mikasa shrugged.

"But since we're on the topic, who are you anyway?"

"Nadeshiko Ruri, ex-Lance corporal of the Survey Corps, I've been thought to be dead for five years," Ruri looked at Mikasa, trying to predict her reaction.

The teen didn't even bat an eyelid.

"Sounds like quite the story."

"It is, but let's face it, we both know that you can't believe anything from this conversation until Erwin says so," Ruri was beginning to get more comfortable around the girl.

"I'll believe what I want to. As long as you won't hurt Eren I'll trust you," Mikasa's expression barely changed, but her voice now beheld a hard edge.

"And how do you know I won't?" Ruri knew she was asking a daring question, but something told her Mikasa wouldn't be so easily shaken.

"Back in the forest, there was no incentive for you to act as our ally, unless you aren't an enemy. There was no one around to see us and help us, so you're biggest threat would have been corporal Levi, and if there had been any ideal moment for you to strike, it would have been the moment where corporal Levi was injured. But it was exactly at that moment that you chose to help," She paused, " plus, this question you just asked me is rather risky for an enemy to ask."

Ruri smiled, a genuine one, her face looking much younger than it usually did. This kid reminded her too much of herself when she was a cadet, smart, capable and most of all, naïve.

"That's a fair judgement in theory, Mikasa, but I'm telling you, you're never going to find the true enemy like that," she looked at the girl dead in the eye.

"Trust me."

The girl was silent. Something in Ruri's eyes told her that she knew much more than she let on. But before she could say anything, a familiar voice had her on her feet and at attention.

"Ackerman! I thought I told you to remain on stand-by until further orders," Levi didn't look too happy. He was approaching them together with Erwin, the latter as serious as ever.

Ruri felt a shiver up her spine, from excitement or apprehension, she wasn't sure.

I thought Kanda said that interrogation would be at the HQ?

Now that the moment of truth was here, she didn't know why she was so jittery all of a sudden, this was what she had been waiting for these five years, she was excited, elated… wasn't she? Of course she was. This was Levi after all, the person she trusted the most, the person who understood her better than anyone else, the one person she dared to love. Five years was a short time compared to how long they had known each other, the bond between them had been deeper than words, beyond the understanding of logic.

Keyword: had been. What if he wasn't the same Levi she knew anymore? No matter how you looked at it, five years was a long time, plenty of time to find someone new, to move on, to think things through, to have a change of heart. One thing led to another and Ruri realized, what if… what if he blamed her for abandoning him five years ago, what if, god forbid, he hated her?

"Oi, what are you zoning out for?"

It took Ruri a split second to realize that Levi was talking to her. She tried to say something, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own, her throat clamped shut.

"Hey, I'm talking to you, you know," Levi was right in front of her, she could see the tips of his boots, impeccable, as always.

Maybe he hadn't changed after all. Why was she being so doubtful anyway?!

"So you aren't a talker, huh?" she could hear the frown in his voice. He was crouching now, the creases in the leather of his boots told her.

Ruri felt herself tense as a hand grasped the edge of her hood, yanking it back.

"No, don't-"

The sudden glare of the sun on her face nearly blinded her, but through the golden rays, his face was shockingly clear.

It was Levi's turn to be speechless now. The truth had hit him with full force, crushing all coherent thoughts. This was Ruri, undeniably, painfully, really Nadeshiko Ruri. Petra had been right, it was unbelievable; he wouldn't believe it. Logic was a feeble voice against the roar of hope in him. The hope he had watered down, suppressed, it all surged up in that instant. It burst forth, from the god forsaken depths of his being, eliminating everything, invading every cell of his being… Control, coherency, strategy, they were all lost. Because this wasn't just groundless hope anymore, it was backed by fact: a glorious truth.

Everything was strangely distant as he reached out for Ruri, his hand hesitant then desperate. It was like seeing things from under water, Erwin's smug smile, Mikasa's uncomprehending look, he saw them, yet he didn't. Then, everything was clear again, real, registered by his sensorium… Everything, including the person in his arms. She was warm against him, even in the heat of the afternoon sun.

Warmth: she was alive.

A breath against his shoulder: she was alive.

Her weight pressing onto him as she returned his hug, gentle, yet setting off fizzes of electricity: she was back.

A/N:

Disclaimer- I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or DGM

Good grief. This update is way overdue and i'm really sorry about that. Like I said, school's started and the number of projects I've got are killer. Don't worry I'm not dropping this fic, but do be prepared for slightly slower updates. I'll try my best to update every 2-3 weeks. To all of you who have been waiting so very patiently for this chapter thanks sooooo much, and I do hope this was worth the wait.

As usual, don't forget to favourite and review!:)