Around 0300 hours the Doctor meandered into the mess hall, which was completely empty, and looked at the List. His own entry, at least so far, seemed to be working fairly well.

28. Do not use threat of decompilation or deletion of subroutines to get your way with the Doctor.

Someone had added their own expression of support for that.

Come on, he doesn't threaten to mess with our memories!

It had been B'Elanna who had prompted the latest posting. She had mentioned decompilation too many times in a month (although, in her defense, she did have a lot of hormones running amok) and the Doctor had finally reached his limit. He was very pleased with the addendum to his original item. Truth be told, he wished he'd thought of it himself.

29. You may not plot a "true communist revolution" aboard ship, even if you're off duty.

This was an interesting piece of news, and the Doctor resolved to learn more about it. He'd ask Mr. Paris, who was an inexhaustible source of information about the goings-on among the crew.

Tom had established a routine of making a beeline for the List when he entered the mess hall. The List had been quite the success, and he was rather proud of the idea.

30. References to science fiction and fantasy have their place, but that place is not away mission reports.

He sighed. Apparently Captain Janeway had read his latest report and was not amused. The comparison was too great to ignore, though. Nothing anyone said would convince him that the B'Rasi weren't just like hobbits.

It was a good thing the UT hadn't said 'elevensies,' or he never would've finished that first contact with a straight face.

Meanwhile, transporting the Tanar had prompted some rather interesting contributions. Even with the cargo bays full of makeshift beds, the crew had to double up in their rooms to make room for everyone. The arrangement was only for a week, but a week was more than enough. Harry, for one, was tired of sleeping on Tom and B'Elanna's couch, and Tom had heard the captain muttering something about Ready Rooms not being designed to sleep in.

31. When doubling up in rooms, screen potential roommates for snoring if you're a light sleeper.

Well, that was one way to go.

32. Don't complain about a person getting up early when they're the one cooking your breakfast.

That had to have been Neelix. It probably didn't help that he was bunking with Chernovich, who worked beta shift. This time, Tuvok had taken the preventative measure of inviting Vorik to share his room; Vorik found it a logical arrangement as well. While not ideal, Tuvok evidently found Vorik far less disruptive than Neelix. Chernovich was probably jealous.

33. Do not complain about someone singing in the sonic shower when it's their own shower, they outrank you, and they have not had coffee yet.

34. Or two out of the three.

And there were four more days before they reached the Tanar homeworld.

Chakotay sighed. He'd just managed to forget about Mink's debacle when the List reminded him.

35. You are not the youngest son of the King of Earth. Do not tell visiting aliens that you are.

To which someone had helpfully added:

36. Drunkenness is no excuse.

And then his own addition:

37. This also applies to all planets, moons, asteroids, and any other potentially habitable place I may have forgotten to mention.

That story was making the rounds. Crewman Mink overindulged in vodka with one of the Tanar, and woke up with a drinking buddy (who happened to have a far higher alcohol tolerance) convinced he was royalty. To say that Captain Janeway was unhappy was the understatement of the century.

38. Arriving early so that someone thinks they're late for their shift is not funny.

"Actually," piped up Hausen, "from what I heard, it was."

"I doubt Ensign Kim would agree with you." Poor Harry spent three minutes apologizing and wondering why the turbolift took so long before he thought to ask the computer what time it was. As a matter of fact, he arrived two minutes before his night stint in the captain's chair started. The night watch crew had been extraordinarily pleased with themselves.

Chakotay felt bad for Harry, but he filed the information away as potentially useful the next time Tom needed to be taken down a peg.