I'm feeling Marauder era, so here goes.
Story originally april-babe16's
Dear Fanfiction,
I'd like to say I've had enough of you. Stop writing about me dating Lily! Not only is it becoming a cliché, but it's actually quite offensive! Lily was a friend, nothing the Potter's deaths, I didn't meet Harry until his third year, so how on earth could I have adopted him? I didn't have two girls with Sirius either, I'm not gay. Tonks is actually emitting steam in anger, now.
Teddy Tonks was my son, and no, we didn't have a hybrid daughter called Vitamins. What sane person names their child Vitamins?
I was a werewolf, yes. I died, yes. I'd like to take a moment to point out that werewolves are not immortal, like vampires, so stop bringing me back to life, and rubbing it in my face that I'm a werewolf. I never took pride in that, you know!
Yours Quite-Angrily,
Remus Lupin