A/N: Hello all! Thanks for all of the follows and faves and reviews! I really really appreciate it! I'm sorry its been so long since Ive updated, Ive been very busy! I hope you enjoy, and Lemme know what you think! Alot of very important plot twists are revealed in this chapter. Song is "so far away" by Red.
~*~I am right here with you~*~
~*~I couldn't be more close~*~
The taste of her skin was enough to shock his system like a lightning bolt. The way her flesh felt beneath his made his mind swim with thoughts he had never thought he would ever experience. A sliver of moonlight fell across her and revealed her to him, stark and exposed beneath him.
His eyes fell across every inch of her, and he felt his heart fall into his stomach. His mind wandered back to that first night. The night in the corridor when they had been discovered. Zero tried hard not to think of it, but seeing the pearly white scars on the side of her neck brought the memories back every time he saw her. He would rather see her and suffer through the guilt than stay away from her to spare himself the pain.
Yet every time he saw her, all he could think about was Yuuki. Why was he doing this? Were these feelings for Kivia, or was he trying to purge himself of thoughts of his former life? His life with Yuuki...
~*~Pretending that I'm in this moment,~*~
~*~When I'm only a ghost~*~
He brought himself back to the present when he felt her hands upon him, pulling him closer to her. Silken tendrils of coal black hair laid across her pillow like a midnight waterfall, in perfect contrast to her ghostly pale skin. His eyes fell across her face as she looked up at him, seeing the depths of her soul through her shadowed eyes. Almost every night for nearly a month he had come to her room at night, careful not to give away their secret, and yet he still found himself trapped in the depths of her fathomless eyes. When she spoke, he found himself pulled back to reality, almost as if her words had broken a powerful hypnosis.
"Zero..."
"Yea?"
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, not saying a word. Instead, he leaned over her and down to her, pressing into her until they became one. Kivia let out a moaning gasp, arching to meet him. With barely a moment of rest, he began to move, and her breath came faster. She wrapped her arms around him, her fingers entwined behind his neck, pulling him down until he was pressed into her body.
~*~I listen to the words you're saying~*~
~*~Words I'm fighting to believe~*~
"Zero...I"
He looked up quickly, his breath catching in his throat. He felt his heart begin to pound, faster and harder against his ribcage until he felt the adrenaline burning like fire in his veins. He knew what she was about to say. He had heard it before, and the words coming from her mouth terrified him. He would give anything not to hear her say it again, but before he could stop her, she blurted out a phrase that nearly made his blood run cold.
"I love you, Zero"
Without a second thought he smashed his lips against hers, desperate to silence her. His mind was a tangled web of pain and lies. His heart hurt, shattered to pieces on the jagged rocks of betrayal. After everything that had happened, everything Yuuki had done, he was terrified of Kivias feelings.
~*~It's like I'm living from a distance~*~
~*~When you're out of reach~*~
She protested against his kiss momentarily, but when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in to him, she relaxed in his arms. Guilt spread like a wildfire in his soul, and it took all of his willpower to push it down. Though this wasn't the first time she had told him of her feelings, he couldn't help the war that raged inside of him.
Though he knew he cared for her deeply, his idea of love was terribly broken and stitched together from shattered pieces of what he used to know. Everything he thought he had ever felt or known had been torn from him when Yuuki left as she did, though that seemed like so long ago now. Closing his eyes, he pulled away from her mouth and buried his nose in her neck, breathing deeply the sweet scent of her hair.
Everything inside of him screamed at him to release his walls. Let her in, and stop pushing her away, but his fear held him still. He didn't know if he would survive pain like that again...
~*~I wanna feel it,~*~
~*~Want to mean it When I say it,~*~
~*~Can you hear me at all?~*~
Pulling away from her, he pushed himself up until he could look at her. Her eyes fluttered behind closed lids, her mouth falling open as if in a silent scream, and he took in every inch of her. His eyes fell over her clavicle, down to her heaving breasts, and back up the taut lines of muscle and sinew in her neck. She seemed so angelic, innocent and fragile.
So...Human.
Zero felt a jab to the chest like a dagger to his heart, and he allowed his eyes to slide closed. Who was he kidding? Even if he did allow himself to get closer to his true emotions, this could never happen. He was dark, evil...a monster. She was so pure. All he would do was decimate her, tear her down like a paper effigy, and ruin her soul. He couldn't do it again.
He would not break her, as he himself had been broken.
~*~And I feel so far away, far away from everything~*~
~*~Outside wondering when I got lost~*~
~*~I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear~*~
~*~How can your love be so close~*~
~*~When I'm so far away?~*~
"Zero...Zero, harder"
His eyes snapped open and he looked down at her again. The intensity in her eyes broke his will, and he released a strangled cry from deep in his throat. Forcing any thought of pain from his mind, he melted into her, finding a quick pace, pushing harder until she let out a muffled cry. Feeling her body quiver beneath him drove him to a place of pure insanity, until he spilled his soul into her, every muscle tensing.
Spent and shivering from a combination of his fear and his exhaustion, he pulled away from her and watched her as she pulled back, wrapping herself around the sheet. She sighed, the unmarred whiteness of the sheet surrounding her a deep contrast to her sparkling twilight locks.
Momentarily he turned away from her, swinging his legs from the bed and attempting to stand. Fumbling in the blackness, he reached down to find his pants, crumpled in a pile on the floor beside the bed. Still shaking, his breath coming in gasps, he yanked them on and sat on the edge of the bed facing the window. He stared though the smudged glass to the forest beyond, the moon barely hidden behind a cluster of branches. He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and slowly he turned.
~*~Remember when you found me drowning~*~
~*~You pulled me from the deepest end~*~
Without a word, she beckoned him towards her with a glimmer in her megawatt eyes. He smiled at her, though he felt nothing but sorrow in the pit of his stomach. She deserved all of him, though he was too afraid to even give her a piece of his heart. Crawling towards her, he leaned down to her on the bed, watching her eyes as she smiled. Her happiness was a genuine, uplifting emotion that he knew was the truth, and it only made him feel worse.
"Zero, stay"
"I cant, you know that..."
She shook her head, strands of black hair flying, "just until I fall asleep. I'm afraid to be alone..."
Feeling a tug at his heart, Zero nodded. There was no way he could deny her the comfort he himself had searched for his entire life. her grin widened with her joy, and she grabbed his hand, pulling him towards her. Rolling onto her side, she faced the wall, pulling Zero towards her. Carefully, he lay beside her, one arm draped over her waist, his free hand twisting a piece of her hair between his lithe fingers.
His eyes fell from her mass of onyx tendrils, down the soft curves of her shoulder and down to her hip. As he watched, her entangled her fingers in his, pulling him closer to her.
Her voice was only a whisper, but her words met his ears easily, "Don't leave me..."
"I'm here"
~*~I promised that I'll never leave you~*~
~*~Now I'm drowning again~*~
After a short time, he felt her breathing grow shallow, her muscles relax against him. She had drifted off to sleep. Releasing her strands of hair, Zero moved away from her. He allowed her hand to fall from his grip as he pushed himself up onto all fours.
"Kivia...I am so sorry"
Though barely audible, his words broke the stillness like a hammer on glass. Just as he spoke, something within him broke and he felt a tidal wave of emotions rising like bile in his throat.
"I don't deserve you..."
Kivia sighed in her slumber, and the sound of it broke him. Taking in a quivering breath, Zero felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes. His mind raced through a never ending library of thoughts.
He hated himself inside, hated his inability to get over his past and the people who had broken him. He despised his weakness and the pain it would cause her in the end.
~*~It's killing me with every breath~*~
~*~Witnessing the life I lived~*~
His head fell into his hands, his hands tugging at fistfuls of his own hair in his frustration. He couldn't do this anymore, couldn't take this. He replayed every meeting with Kivia and the tears ran faster, until his face was a mask of his pain. His inability to control his emotions had caused this entire mess.
His inability to fight his feelings had caused Kivia's world to crumble, and he couldn't get past the fact that he had hurt her. She wouldn't admit it, and every time he brought it up she disagreed, but he knew in his heart of hearts that she was suffering, and he had been the one to cause it. Silently, he allowed his sobs to overtake him, and he broke. Through his rain of tears, he turned his head to look at her. He would hurt her, and he knew it. The thought hit his heart like a thousand stabs.
He forced himself closer to her, his face buried in her hair, desperate for the scent of her. Breathing in her essence, he silently dissolved into her, wrapping his body around her's as he sobbed. Before he knew it, the world was falling away from him, and darkness took over his mind.
~*~Only you know who I am~*~
~*~I'm reaching out my hand~*~
"ZERO!"
The young vampire was jerked from sleep as the door flew open, and a voice full of malice screamed his name in the close confines of the room. He jolted upright, his eyes wide and searching. Standing in the doorway, Kaien Cross looked less than amused.
"Zero, what are you doing?!"
Kivia jumped up beside him, clutching the sheet to her chest. Her eyes were electrified, full of confusion and fear. Her lower lip quivering, she dropped her head, turning away from the intruder, shaking in what Zero could only guess was a mix of apprehension and fear. Zero jumped to his feet, reaching down to scoop his shirt and jacket from their place on the floor. His mind was racing, his heart pounding. He could only imagine the trouble he would be in. He had never meant to fall asleep.
~*~I wanna feel it,~*~
~*~Want to I mean it When I say it,~*~
~*~Can you hear me at all?~*~
His eyes a smouldering fire of anger, the headmaster rushed forward, reaching out to grab Zeros wrist in a death grip.
"Do you have ANY idea what you've done, Zero?! How long has this been going on?"
Wrenching his arm from his fathers grasp, Zero swatted him away. In his rush, his nail raked across the retired vampire hunters flesh, drawing a bead of blood. Though he noticed it immediately, he could only hope he could fight his urges.
"Why is she locked in this room?!" He shouted at the headmaster, his hands balled into shaking fists. "I'm the one who fucked up, not her!"
In his anger, he had failed to notice that the older man was not even listening. Kaien Cross stood statue-still, barely moving or even breathing. Zero took in a deep breath, forcing himself to come down from his mountain of anger. Following his headmasters eyes, he turned to look at Kivia. What he saw there nearly knocked him flat.
~*~And I feel so far away, far away from everything~*~
~*~Outside wondering when I got lost~*~
~*~I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear?~*~
~*~How can your love be so close,~*~
~*~When I'm so far away?~*~
Kivia was shaking, facing away from them, her back to the door. The sheet still clung to her Lilly-white flesh, but it had slipped down her back, pooling around the curve of her hips. Her hair hung in her face, hiding her face from them, but it was the symbol on her back that stopped Zero in his tracks.
On her right shoulder, just below the curve of her shoulder blade, a swatch of black ink was surprising in not only its contrast to her flesh, but because of its shape. A vampire hunters mark.
Absentmindedly, Zero clapped his hand against the side of his neck, hiding his own tattoo from view, his mind running in rapid circles until he felt lightheaded and weak.
~*~And I don't wanna waste time~*~
~*~Living a half-life~*~
~*~Are you listening?~*~
~*~Now give it back to me!~*~
"Shes...a vampire?"
Though it sounded like Zero's voice, his hadn't even felt himself speak. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Facing the window, she shook, her arms wrapped around herself as if protecting from the cold. Slowly, Kaien Cross placed a hand on Zeros shoulder, though he never took his eyes from the young woman on the bed.
"Zero...we need to leave"
Zero opened his mouth to speak, but it was another's voice that rang throughout the room instead. Though he recognized the musical sound of her, he didn't believe the words.
"I...can smell...your blood"
Zero felt his stomach tie itself in a squirming, painful knot, and he swallowed dryly. How could he have not known? After all this time she had not bitten him, had not even attempted it. With his thoughts far away, he barely noticed when she began to rise from her knees.
The headmaster pulled him back, yanking him towards the door, their only escape from the room. He couldn't look away from her, a mixture of fear and curiosity drove him, and he pushed the headmasters hand away.
"Zero! We have to leave! NOW!"
Slowly, without a word or even a sign of emotion, Zero shook his head. He could not leave her now. At this moment, this sliver in time, she understood his struggles, and he understood her pain, and he felt himself being drawn to her.
~*~I remember everything~*~
~*~The way it used to be.~*~
~*~Yeah give it back to me~*~
~*~I hear your voice~*~
~*~But inside I'm lost.~*~
Kivia turned, slowly and gracefully stepping off of the bed and onto the hard, wooden floor beneath. Finally, she raised her eyes to look at them, and what Zero saw there made his heart ache.
Her eyes, her deep, understanding eyes, had changed to a deep cherry-red, glowing and pulsing. These eyes, these sinister, hollow eyes, were not the eyes he had looked into during the night before. These eyes did not belong to the girl who had confessed her love to him in the throes of passion.
These eyes were dead. These were the eyes of a demon.
"Kivia..."
He spoke her name slowly, and she cocked her head to one side at the sound of his voice. Kaien Cross took a step back beside him, and Zero watched Kivia's eyes pulse like a viper about to strike.
"Kivia, don't do this!" Zero was practically begging, pleading with her to come out of her trance like state, but when she took a step forward, he knew she could not obey him.
"get away from her!" Came a voice from the hall behind them, and that's when Kivia pounced, the sheet, though still clinging to her frame, flying out behind her like a cape as she ran.
~*~And I feel so far away, far away from everything~*~
~*~Outside wondering when I got lost~*~
~*~I threw my arms up in the air, why do I disappear~*~
~*~How can your love be so close,~*~
~*~When I'm so far away?~*~
Zero felt himself being pushed, and he was knocked to the ground as a figure stepped around him, intersecting Kivia before she could close the gap between herself and her intended prey. Zero hit the ground with the palms of his shaking hands, and let out a cry of pain as he landed.
A sound filled the room, frighteningly loud and otherworldly, and when Zero looked up, Kivia was on the ground.
"Toga! Don't hurt her!" Kaien Cross called to his colleague from his place on the floor.
Zero watched as his former master pinned the small girl to the ground, twisting an arm behind her back. She bucked and writhed beneath him, growling deep in her throat in protest. Breathing heavily, Yagari reached inside of his jacket, fishing for something deep in one of his pockets. Unable to think, or even breathe, Zero pushed himself onto his knees, falling back against the door frame as he watched.
Everything had changed to drastically and so suddenly that he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Pressing his back against the hard wood of the door frame, he brought his hands up to run through his hair. As his hands passed his eyes, he was reminded of that night almost a month ago, when he had sat alone in his room with her blood caked to his fingers.
Yagari finally yanked his hand from within a pocket in his long coat, and what he revealed had Zero confused and afraid. A long silver chain wrapped around his fist, a glimmering diamond of silver hanging from between his fingers.
Zero pulled in a deep shivering breath, his mind numb and his heart pounding. Everything had gone so wrong so quickly, and he felt responsible.
Without a word, Yagari pressed her down to the floor, using his forearm against the back of her neck to force her down. Still growling, she fought him, but it was in vein. With steady hands, Yagari pressed the chain against the mark in the flesh of her shoulder, and her struggling ceased.
~*~I'm so far away~*~
Breathing heavily, Toga Yagari got to his feet, the glittering silver chain disappearing back into the pocket it had come from. Thought he had never seen him stand, Zero noticed the headmaster had gotten to his feet. Slowly, Zero watched his father approach the girl on the floor, now still and calm as if asleep.
"Toga..."
The vampire hunter said nothing, gave no explanation as he crouched beside Kivia. Careful to drape the sheet across her to cover her, he wrapped it over her hips and chest carefully, covering her to keep her decent.
"Toga...this girl...I didn't know she was a vampire"
With a sigh, Yagari shook his head. "I knew..."
Zero heard his father gasp, and it was all he could do to keep from releasing a sound of surprise of his own.
Carefully, gently, Toga Yagari inched his hand beneath Kivia's knees, his other hand coming up to scoop her shoulders towards him. He stood, holding her carefully in his arms, clutched almost lovingly to his chest.
"We need to take her to your office, Kaien"
The headmaster nodded in agreement as Yagari made his way through the door. With a sad smile, Kaien Cross turned towards his adopted son.
"Zero, you need to come with us"
~*~I'm so far away~*~