Petra remembered that night after she and the Corporal paid a visit to the training grounds was the longest that she had to go through. Her mind was clouded with all sorts of negative thoughts about herself, and her emotions were all stirred up. She was angry, sad and confused all at the same time. She just couldn't bring herself to see the Corporal again that night, so in the end she stayed in his office until dawn. Usually, she would pretend to sleep in his room or lurk around the kitchen. But tonight, it was a little bit different.
The clock sure was ticking slower when you're emotionally unstable—at least it was now for Petra. The night felt like it could go on forever, granting her an unnecessary freedom to sink in her thoughts. That's not what she wanted right now—but she couldn't stop thinking about it. What if the Corporal is angry because I'm dead? What about the rest of the Recon Corps? What about my dad? He must've been angry at my current state at some poin—
"Petra, are you there?" The Corporal's voice called out. "Come here for a second, please."
"I'm here! Oh, right…" Petra spontaneously replied. She was unaware for a second that her presence was visible to no one. Instantly, she went to his desk and wrote on any paper she found nearby.
"I'm here, Corporal. Since you're already awake, what are you going to do today?"
"I've given some thoughts about this, and I've decided that I'll visit Mr Ral today. I visited the other families already, and your father's the last one in the list."
Petra froze as she heard that name. Ral. By now, the sound of that name felt bizarre to her. No one had called her by that name for years, or even mentioned anything about the only family member she had left—her father. Back when in the early days as a soldier, she still wrote to her father almost every month. But when she got promoted, Petra found it difficult to keep up with the previous pace, so she ended up writing a lengthy letter once every six months.
Despite the lack of communication, she had always cared about her father. A photo of them together was always stored in a small wallet, tucked safely inside her pocket. Every day, she had never once forgotten to pray for his wellbeing back at home. After all, he was the only person that raised her since birth and loved her compassionately.
Sometimes during work, she had thought her father was rather crazy since he actually let her only daughter enrol to the army. It was a reckless decision from her father's side, but Petra was fully aware of the consequences on her side as well. That was why she had given all her best during training and missions—so that her father should not be the last person left in the Ral family.
But now, it was all for naught. Her wish had dissipated into the cold air for eternity, never able to see its proper end. A tear slid down again from her left eye, but she quickly wiped it away. I'm tired of crying, I really am.
With an added feeling of guilt in her heart, Petra boldly wrote her reply with a trembling arm. "C-corporal, you're going by yourself, right? I think that's none of my business, and plus your kitchen is getting dirty again. I need to clean up for you!"
Levi shot a glare at the standing mirror on his right, which was instantly reflected back to Petra. He crossed his arms and said, "What are you saying? Of course you have something to do with this, he is your father. Petra, this is an order. You have to come with me."
There was an urge for her to see her father again, but on the other hand the pang of guilt within her felt that it was overpowering that urge.
However, Levi didn't spare a second for his subordinate to think again. He had always known, once Petra said something that didn't make sense—something was wrong with her. It was perhaps a baseless intuition, but he could tell. And when that happens, he always had to pull her away from the pitfall, before screws started to loosen up.
"Petra, let's go. I'm telling you, it's an order." He called as he exited his room. "We shouldn't waste our time, right?"
He was fully aware that even if she didn't come along, he would not know. As of now, she's a spirit, after all. However, his intuition within told him to leave the house immediately—and so he did. Once he locked the door and set foot outside, he turned his head around unconsciously. Of course, he was only greeted with sight of the door rattling as the strong winds slammed against it. Her figure wasn't there as he imagined she would—well, that's a given.
Levi reached the pocket of his trousers for a pair of brown leather gloves, and swiftly wrapped his hands with them. The wind felt stronger than yesterday, and it seemed that his usual casual attire wasn't sufficient enough. He led out a sigh and thought to himself, "Maybe I should have worn that trench coat…"
Despite of those thoughts, he kept walking briskly along the wet market. Rows of stalls covered with colourful cloths on his left and right stretched to ends unknown, creating a rowdy ambience throughout. There was an orchestra of voices shouting, children laughing, jingles from tons of souvenirs and occasionally the squawks of birds. Levi initially hated the sound of birds, but after living here for years, he was gradually used to it.
After walking for a few minutes, Levi stopped abruptly in front of a stall filled with flowers. Once his eyes started scanning through them, he was immediately greeted by a male vendor.
"Good morning, mister! Are you looking for a particular flower?"
Levi was silent for a few seconds, before replying, "What is suitable for a man in his sixties?"
"Ooh, a man? Is he a friend, family or an acquaintance?"
Usually, Levi would feel irked if someone asked him unnecessary questions. But strangely, today was different from the rest. He was able to answer him calmly.
"I would say he's more of an acquaintance. The man lost his family member recently, so do you have anything appropriate?"
"Aah, I'm so sorry for his loss…" The vendor said, placing his hand on his cheeks. "However, I do have flowers for that. How about these blue orchids, mister? Blue orchids represent strength, you see."
Levi nodded and replied, "Hmm, I see. Do you have anything else?"
The vendor's face immediately lit up and he said excitedly, "Of course I do! I'm glad you asked, mister! You can choose these beautiful chrysanthemums which carry the meaning of 'strength in adversity' or maybe a general one for gifts like gerbera daisies, or perhaps…"
The babbles on flower went on and on, and not even the Corporal could keep up with that pace. He spaced out somewhere midway, before suddenly he felt something slipping into the pocket of his shirt. From the bottom of his eye, he caught the sight of a piece of folded note sticking out. It was barely made conspicuous, and the Corporal smiled.
"Don't give daisies to daddy; he is not fond of them. He really likes lilies." –that was the content of the note, written with a scribbly handwriting—which Levi knew too well whom it belonged to.
He then lead out a small cough and said, "Excuse me, I appreciate all your information… But I think I'll just go with a bouquet of white lilies."
"Eh, are you sure? Because white lilies represent—"
"It's okay; I just remembered that acquaintance of mine likes white lilies." Levi said, curtly interrupting the vendor. Puzzled, the vendor browsed through his display of flowers, took a bunch of lilies and covered it with a piece of blue-coloured clothing. For the finishing, a simple chocolate rope was tied circling the bouquet. When the Corporal held the bouquet in his hands, he was surprised at how radiant the colour of the white lilies seems to be against the blue cloth.
"Thank you, this is beautiful. How much should I pay?"
"3 gold is fine, mister. I'm giving you special discount today!" The vendor cheerfully replied. Once Levi handed him over the money, he immediately walked away and ignored all the hustles and bustles surrounding him. But this time, he left with a smile on a face. Not that same feeling of uncertainty he had when he stepped out from his house.
"I see that you have decided to come along, Petra." Levi said, as he glanced over his shoulders.
There she was, visible to no one, trailing behind the Corporal since he left home. Petra was already resolute on staying behind, but the thought of not seeing her father for the last time was too painful to bear. And the thought of being alone from her old squad and the Corporal—could make her implode anytime now.
Petra had so many things going on inside her mind, so she refused to respond to the Corporal. Nor it seemed that he was expecting any reply, after all. He just continued walking until he reached a group of small houses quite far away from the wet market. On the doors of these small, wooden houses were nameplates with their family names engraved on them. Petra immediately recognized which one was initially hers.
The words 'Ral' were sloppily carved on a wooden sign hanging loosely by the window of the house. She could barely see anything through the window, as it was fully covered with dust. When the Corporal knocked the door, for some reason a cloud of dust sprang out, causing him to cough uncontrollably. He had this angry look on this face after coughing, but soon enough it disappeared right after the door was opened.
"A-ah, it's you, Corporal Levi!" A tall, grey-haired man with a tattered cream sweater exclaimed. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to visit my house…"
"It's okay, I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand, Mr Ral." Levi curtly apologized.
Mr Ral shook his head and said, "I don't mind, I'm not doing anything at the moment. Please, come in! I'm so sorry my house is rather messy, I haven't cleaned up anything lately…"
Levi was welcomed into a house filled with one thing he hated the most—dust. Despite the size of this house, it was extremely dusty. An irked expression was clearly showing on his face as he scanned the kitchen, but thankfully it was overshadowed by the bouquet. Mr Ral pulled out a seat from a small dining table in the middle of the kitchen and requested Levi to sit there. The Corporal was aware that the seat should be filled with dust, but he decided to swallow all his feelings of discontent. Hang in there; hang in there for her, Levi.
"Corporal, would you like to have some tea?" Mr Ral offered, with an empty cup in his hands. Out of courtesy, Levi nodded in approval.
"Yes, please."
As Petra's father filled the cup with freshly brewed tea, Levi couldn't help it but to notice that her father was always glancing at the bouquet he placed on the table. Out of curiosity, he decided to start the conversation on his own accord. "Are these flowers to your liking, Mr Ral? I thought since I'm dropping by, I should give you something."
"Ah, indeed! White lilies are my favourite type of flower!" He replied with a big grin on his face. Seeing his weary face lit up again was indeed a big joy to Petra, who was watching him from the corner of the kitchen. The kitchen was actually really small, so perhaps she was only ten or twelve footsteps away from her father. It had been awhile since she last saw her father smile, and now she somehow didn't regret her decision to come along here.
Her father then placed down the teapot and continued, "If I may ask, how do you know I like white lilies?"
"Ah, recently I was told by Pet—" Levi stopped abruptly, recalling his words on the first day she came here. "Uhh, if I remembered correctly, Petra once told me about it. It's a pretty common thing amongst my former squad members to tell stories about their families, after all. Actually, I've been visiting each of their families recently."
"Oh? How are they faring?" Mr Ral asked, with a forced tone of curiosity.
Levi shrugged. "Their conditions are improving compared to the first time I visit them. I could say that some of them are now okay now."
"I see… That's good to hear." He replied weakly, and sat on the chair beside the Corporal. "I'm glad they're all not in my current state, it'd be sad if they are."
Petra grimaced as she heard those words. Slowly, she slid down against the wall and buried her face under her arms. With a muffled voice, she continuously muttered, "I'm sorry, daddy… I'm really, really sorry…"
"With all due respect, I think you're the luckiest one." Levi replied calmly, before sipping his cup of tea. "After all, your daughter is one of the best soldiers I have ever worked with. And as a person, she was one of the most honest and kind woman I knew. She should be living peacefully, somewhere up there."
"Ooh, you're a pretty observant one, Corporal." Mr Ral replied, and led out a chuckle afterwards. "You're right. She is really an angel, isn't she?"
"Well…" Levi's words trailed off, almost too hesitant to give him his honest reply.
Petra's father eyes drooped and he said with a trembling voice, "I guess angels have always belonged in the heavens, right? Now I can see your point, Corporal. They need their angel back, after all…"
The Corporal can barely give an answer to that. It was a sublime description of Petra Ral, but it felt like a stab in the heart as well. For a minute, there was an awkward silence between the two—before Mr Ral decided to break the ice.
"Say, Corporal Levi, do you know the meaning behind white lilies?"
At that moment, Petra's attention was immediately caught. She always had this sheer amount of curiosity deep within her, as to why her father was so fond of white lilies. As she lifted her head, she was in time to see what the Corporal's response was.
"I'm sorry, I don't." Levi said as he shook his head.
Slowly, Petra's father caressed the petals of a lily and replied, "In the flower language, they represent innocence and purity. Don't you think that suits Petra well, Corporal?"
"What…" Petra let out a gasp, which slowly broke into sobs. "What... Daddy, no… No…"
It was foolish of her to bear the thoughts of guilt, and the possibilities of her father getting angry because she left. She was aware it was foolish from the start—but little did she know he had always cared for her, even until her dying day.
When she wasn't able to hold back her feelings anymore, Petra ran towards her father and embraced him from behind. She could barely feel his warmth, as anything she touches at the moment felt as if it were at the edge of her fingertips. Basically, it felt airy.
"Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry…" Petra cried out loud as she burst into tears. "I wish I could return and become your angel again, I really do…"
Only the room was a silent witness to the sight of a late daughter embracing her father. As Petra continued to cry on her father's shoulder, Levi froze on spot as he wasn't able to say anything in return. His forlorn expression was inconspicuously shown on his face, with a crease appearing between his eyebrows.
"Uhh, Corporal? Are you… Okay?" Mr Ral asked, as he glanced directly at Levi.
All of a sudden, he fixed his gaze on Mr Ral's eyes. He crossed his arms, led out a sigh and said, "I'm sorry, Mr Ral, but throughout our whole conversation here—I actually am keeping a secret."
"Huh?"
"I will tell you right here and right now due to my own reasons… But please believe whatever I say. Can you trust me?"
Mr Ral shrugged. "I guess."
"Mr Ral, your daughter is here in this room." Levi announced, his words echoing throughout the room. "You can't see her, but she's here."
"What the?!" Petra exclaimed and jerked her head up. "I thought I'm supposed to keep that a secret!"
Clearly, Mr Ral was staggered after hearing that statement. His hands were trembling uncontrollably, and cold sweat began to trickle down his face. With quivering lips, he asked, "Are you… sure?"
"I am, Mr Ral." The Corporal answered confidently. "After all, I have been interacting with her for the past three days. And I can prove it—that Petra Ral is really here."
Author's Corner
Oh my goodness I think this is the most depressing chapter I have ever wrote so far in this series orz. I'm sorry if I'm not too good at writing sentimental talks and stuff, I'm still practicing how to write stories properly ;w; And I'm not so sure about the flower references it's a bit too cheesy sobs
Aaanyways in my headcanon, I always see Petra as daddy's little girl. And doesn't it make you sad when Petra had to leave her dad? It's just urggghh my feels
Speaking of which my friend almost smacked me with her earphones when reading this chapter HAHA she told me it was too depressing and made her broken hearted orz /sorry fren
Anyways I thank you to you all that are still following this series, and tune in for the next chapter! Please do leave in some comments/critiques in the review sections, as I will use them to improve my writing skills! Cheers /o/