Okay, this is so weird. I came up with this idea in the shower. Strange? Yes... because it has nothing to do with showering...
This one's for Romantically Loveless. Cynds, I'd like you to know that I tried 3 times before I finally settled for one idea for your one shot. That's how amazing you are :) Which by the way, dearest readers, have you checked out Alice Times yet? There's a link in my profile! You should subscribe :)
But anyway, this is just a silly little one-shot. I think it's my shortest one ever.
Chalk Markers
"Because no matter how hard chalk tries, it will never be as cool as dry erase markers."
--Heartbroken Confession--
You would think that a simple debate whether the school should keep to using chalk or switch to dry erase markers would be simple and easy. But no, it can't be. After all, this is Alice Academy and our student council president is Hyuuga Natsume and his VP is Sakura Mikan. Chaos ensues when you throw two people mad at each other into a school-wide debate. Fantastic, isn't it?
"And now, I'd like to call school president Hyuuga Natsume and VP Sakura Mikan to the stage to debate the the Chalk vs Dry Erase Marker issues." Amusement was present in the student's voice. But, the student was oblivious to the horror that was about to ensue. The senior class squirmed in their seats nervously as the couple took the stage. The tension between the two was present as the two glared at each other.
"I am Sakura Mikan and I am representing the Chalk." Mikan cleared her throat before speaking.
Natsume quirked a brow at her and leaned into the mic. "This isn't a court case."
Mikan turned to him, "Well, just because it doesn't seem important to you, Natsume, doesn't mean it's unimportant in general. The world doesn't revolve around you, so I'd like to take this matter seriously."
Natsume scoffed and made his opening statement. "I'm Hyuuga Natsume and I'm representing the Dry Erase Marker." He shot her a "Satisfied?" look. She ignored him and continued.
"Chalk is clearly a much better option for Alice Academy. We have been using it for the past 100 years and it has been working out fine for us. Why go through the bother to change it now?"
"On the contrary," Natsume retorted, "That's exactly the point. In the last 100 years, chalk has become outdated. It's not practical anymore."
"And it what ways is it not practical? It writes. That's the chalk's duty! It writes! It does what it's supposed to and promises to." She glared at him.
"Well then, dry erase markers are more innovative. They do what they're supposed to and more. Anyone who can't appreciate and realize what dry erase markers do for them probably don't deserve them."
"Well, maybe dry erase markers shouldn't be so full of themselves, because they really aren't all that and a bag of chips."
"Hardly, chalk is messy and disorganized and it's so easy to misplace. Dry erase markers on the other hand is clean, easy to use, and easy to keep track of."
"That's ironic, coming from you of all people." Mikan laughed malevolently. "Clearly, chalk is the better point. Chalk is more affordable than unnecessarily expensive makrers. Besides chalk, unlike dry erase markers, isn't full of shit."
The audience cringed.
"Well, at least dry erase markers aren't in over their heads. Because no matter how hard chalk tries, it will never be as cool as dry erase markers."
"Is this even about chalk or dry erase markers anymore?" The moderator asked but was ignored.
"Now dry erase markers are just being bitter."
"Chalk is just being unnecessarily jealous and untrustworthy."
"Only because Dry Erase Markers started it! I'm sure Chalk would have known if Dry Erase Markers was really doing it's mission, Chalk would have known seeing that Chalk is supposed to be Dry Erase Marker's partner and Chalk asked Eraseboard Marker where Dry Erase Markers was and he had no clue!"
"Chalk should have had more faith then, in Dry Erase Markers and not automatically assume that Dry Erase Markers was cheating on her with Overhead Lights!"
"What else is Chalk supposed to believe? That Dry Erase Markers was helping a teacher teach a lesson? Please! No one actually uses those things to teach!"
"Maybe Chalk should have realized that Dry Erase Marker was out buying Chalk a present for their anniversary!"
"Dry Era-- Aww! Dry Erase Marker bought Chalk an anniversary present?"
"Yes. And if Chalk hadn't jumped to conclusions, Chalk would have gotten it's new blackboard by now."
"Awww! Chalk is very sorry because Chalk jumped to conclusions then! But she only forgives Dry Erase Marker when she sees this present he speaks of..."
Natsume rolled his eyes. "It's in Dry Erase Marker's car."
"Let's go!" Seemingly oblivious to the everyone else, the two exited the auditorium.
In a daze, the moderator stood awkwardly trying to piece things together. Clearing his throat he concluded the speech. "Um. Dry erase marker wins for... having a car."
Awkward silence.
"Right. Next topic!"
"You know what would be the perfect solution?"
"What, Polka?"
"Chalk Markers."
"..."
"It's brilliant! It solves everything!"
"... Just stick to being cute."
"Aw, Natsume called me cute!"
"Just shut up."
Totally lame, but in my mind it was cute. Review? :)
Yours Truly,
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Jai :)