Day 11

I woke up with that familiar ache in my heart. I felt like I was dying. Not only did Meg not have feelings for me, she most definitely hated me now.

I hate being a teenager.

I got up from the tangle of people crowding together in the tent. I looked around to see where Meg was, and I saw that we had been next to each other. A soft jolt went through my heart at the thought of being curled up next to her. A separate jolt went to a different part of my body at another, somewhat less innocent thought.

I groaned loudly and tried to hide what had just happened. If anyone saw, I would be ashamed of myself. Especially if Meg saw. I felt my breath hitch and I tried to stumble out of the crowded tent. I had to stop thinking like this. I didn't have a chance with her now, so I might as well get over her.

I got outside, still in that predicament, and realized we had bigger problems.

F29DWN

The reality of the fact that she absolutely, positively hated me hadn't hit yet, of course. I complained, loudly, in camp during the duration of the situation review. I was extremely annoyed at everything being tossed away in a giant storm. Daley took over in a flash, and that annoyed me as well. Being ruled by Jackson was one thing, but Daley was quite another.

When I made a giant exclamation of how I was so sick of this teamwork thing, they all yelled at me in protest. But, to be frank, I cared less than I cared about anything else. I went off on my own, separate from the group, ready to build my own hut or bungalow or whatever one would call it. I wanted to be alone.

Building was painstaking work. There were many branches and logs that I had to cut down and carry over to my work area, where I would live from now on. I continued to saw, cut, and attempt to string together all of these random materials into a home I could have all to myself. After all, we only had one tent now.

I continued working, and wasn't approached by anyone all day. It was a nice feeling. I liked to be alone. At least, I normally do. But there was one person who I wanted there. She was tall, with long thick brown hair that I could probably loose myself in, and bright hazel eyes that constantly changed color. She wasn't the skinniest girl in the world, but for once I didn't really care about that. She was also ten times smarter than me, but again, I didn't really care for once. But she hated me now. She had barely liked me before, and now she hated me.

Well, I didn't know that for sure yet, of course. Part of my hopeful mind begged that she had forgiven me, like everyone else had. It was that hopeful mind that drove me to ask for her help whilst I dragged a huge log.

"Hey Meg, could you help me with something?"

"No. Right now I can't even stand to look at you, Eric," Meg spat at me, her eyes glaring horribly. She walked away from me, and I clung to the last thread of hope I had left.

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" I gasped, pleading for her to take it back.

"I hate you, Eric! I kept that secret for a reason! Now everyone's asking me for advice, and I have to be the level-headed one, and… things just don't feel the same! You're such a jerk! And to think, I might have actually liked you," she roared, and before I could realize what she meant she was gone, and I realized that my mistake was bigger than I could have imagined.

F29DWN

She did like me. She just didn't say it on her video diary. I was so fricking stupid. I could have her, I could have had her, and I could be with her right now if I wasn't such a jealous pig. I ruined everything. I was completely, devotedly in love with her, and I had ruined any chances I had with her. It was all over.

Desperately, I tried to save everything one last time.

"Listen, Meg," I walked up to her, tender in my voice and movements, trying to salvage everything I had.

"I don't want to see you right now," she growled at me, not even looking at me, and walked away from my private area. I desperately followed her, this wasn't going well.

"Meg, listen! I'm really sorry, alright? I am a jerk!" I called after her, pleading. She, in an amazing turn of events, turned around and kissed me softly.

Just kidding. That's what I wish had happened. Instead, she turned around to me and snapped, "Obviously. And I don't' give jerks the time of day." She then continued to walk away from me.

"Meg!" I tried again, "I made a mistake, okay?" I was so hurt and so desperate I was pathetic.

"No. You hurt me, Eric. And frankly, I don't want to see your face or hear your voice ever again, because that hurts too much too," she snarled menacingly. She continued to walk away from me, and I, in complete desperation, followed her through the dense jungle. I didn't have enough vocal power to call out her name, and soon I lost her.

Both then and forever.

F29DWN

After my shelter was destroyed, Lex showed us his magical plants and I was forced to return to camp, I attempted to confront Meg again, but this time without approaching her.

I went into the tent where we all were crowding now, and sat down to write a small note. I had a piece of paper to write on, and a pen.

Dear Meg,

Please forgive me for being a jerk. I don't know why I did the things I did. What I should have done was not show anyone the tape and accept the whole thing, but I didn't. I was an idiot. If you forgive me I'll do whatever you wish, you realize. I love you, Meg, even if you don't realize it, I'll do anything for you.

Love,

Eric

I took the piece of paper, tore it up, crumpled it, and threw it into the ocean.

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