AN: Thanks for reading! I have finished writing this story, it's 9 chapters long, so I hope you continue to enjoy it! And if you want to review, that'd be cool too… :)
Sunday, July 17th, 10 a.m.
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
Oh God. I feel like I'm going to die.
I have NEVER been so drunk before. Never. Not in my lifetime.
You know how drunk I was? I don't even remember most of the night. That's right, I blacked out.
Princess Mia partied blacked out drunk a week before her wedding.
PRINCESSES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET BLACK OUT DRUNK!
I woke up at seven in the morning to throw up. After doing so, I knocked on the door to Francois's room, which is right next to mine. He answered the door very crankily. "Yes, princess?" he grumbled in French.
"Francois," I asked, "I barely remember anything from last night. Please tell me nothing awful happened to make me be labeled as the new royal party girl."
He shook his head. "You were fine," he said. "You are a very sleepy drunk."
Wow. I blacked out and it turns out I was sleepy. I am so boring.
"I did lose you at one point," he added very guiltily.
Now here was juice. "Really?" I said. In high school, I'd always been trying to ditch Lars in some way but never could. I outgrew that once I reached college-age and by the time I was in Genovia and Francois was my permanent bodyguard, I was used to it. I'd never tried to lose him, but of course my blacked out drunk self was able to. The only time I manage to lose my bodyguard and I can't even remember it. "What happened?"
"One minute you were half passed-out at the bar and the next you were outside hailing a cab. I barely had time to realize you were gone before you were inside and already down the block. I gathered your friends and asked if they knew where you were headed, and Tina said you mentioned Michael, so we all got into the limo and went to Michael's apartment, calling your cell phone every two seconds."
"I went to Michael's?" I said, surprised. I hadn't even really been thinking about him last night. I mean, not any more than I usually do.
He nodded. "We were only a few minutes behind you; we arrived as you were leaving his building."
"Leaving?" I said. Also strange. My drunken self probably just wanted to smell his neck. How embarrassing. "Well. Thank you, Francois. Go back to sleep."
"Where are you going?" he asked suspiciously. He's probably going to be extra careful from now on.
"Back to bed," I grumbled as I held my hand to my pounding head. I shuffled down the hall and back into my bedroom, where I've been since. I don't want to get up, even though my ladies-in-waiting keep trying to. At seven-thirty, I told them there was no way in hell I could eat breakfast, unless they wanted me to throw it up all over Grandmère. They keep coming by every half hour to check on me. You know, it's pretty embarrassing when everyone knows you're totally hungover.
Someone's knocking on my door. Really loudly. Don't they KNOW what it's like to have a hangover?
Uh oh.
It's dad and Grandmère.
Sunday, July 17th, 3 p.m.
Royal Genovian Library
This is the only place that I can find some peace and quiet. You'd think my father would be more sympathetic, but noooooo. He says that me being so hungover is very un-princess-like and that I need to get up and act like nothing is wrong. Grandmère said the same, launching into the story about how she had a hundred-and-two degree fever on her wedding, but did that stop her from standing through an hour-long ceremony and blah blah blah.
Whatever. They so don't get it.
After they practically dragged me out of bed and my ladies-in-waiting helped me get dressed, I shuffled after them into the Royal Genovian Dining Hall, where my mom, Mr. G, Rocky, Lana, Rachelle, Lilly, and Tina were waiting. Thankfully there was no food on the table or I would've hurled again.
Lana and Rachelle looked a little droopy-eyed, but Lilly and Tina were fine. Lilly drank nothing last night and Tina just had a couple weak margaritas.
"There's our champ," Lana said as soon as I walked in. Geez, has her voice always been this loud? "I can't believe you're even standing after what you consumed last –"
"Enough," Dad said irritably from behind me. WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING? "We just want to go over some wedding stuff."
I barely listened. I didn't even care. I just kept thinking about my bed and how soft and warm it was and how much better my head would feel resting on my pillow instead of my hand.
"Amelia!"
I nearly jumped out of my skin. "What?" I snapped.
Grandmère gave me an evil look. "I was just explaining to your maid-of-honor her duties and I noticed you looked about ready to fall asleep."
"Well," I said grumpily, "I did only get like four hours of sleep last night…"
"And whose fault is that?" she growled.
She said all this in French, so only my dad and I understood. Well, Tina and Lana understood a little, I think, because they took French in high school, but Grandmère talks really fast.
I rolled my eyes. I know this isn't princess-like at all and that I was acting like a brat, but my head hurt SO MUCH! I just wanted to lie down but they were forcing me to sit here to talk about stuff I already knew.
At the look my dad gave me, I sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Grandmère."
We went through wedding details for another hour, mostly the procession stuff. The ceremony starts at five, but the procession starts at four. The Royal Genovian Chapel is across town, so the procession starts here and ends there. We were to be taken in horse-driven carriages; when Lilly heard this, she shot me an accusing look, no doubt thinking that I sold out because I've always hated the ones in New York City because I thought the horses were mistreated. But I'd already met with the horses and their trainers, and they are treated exceptionally well. I didn't feel like explaining any of this to Lilly, though.
Since Lana and Rachelle aren't in the bridal party, they aren't a part of the procession. Tina rides in one of the two carriages for the bridesmaids. Lilly is in it, too – she'll be riding with her parents. Not with Michael, though – he rides separately with his best man, this guy named Jeremiah Lee that he works with. His is the first carriage to arrive at the chapel; mine is the last.
That's when I realized Michael wasn't there.
"Wait, where's Michael?" I asked, interrupting someone.
Grandmère shot me a look. "Your beau had some emergency with that silly company of his."
I frowned, disappointed. I want to know how embarrassing I'd been last night.
Or maybe I don't.
Anyway, I patiently listened to this wedding nonsense until lunch was served. Grandmère was about to force me to eat, but Dad took pity on me and said if I didn't want to eat, I didn't have to. Although now I am beginning to think it was some kind of reverse psychology or something, because now my head barely hurts and I'm starving but dinner isn't until eight and the Royal Genovian Chefs are very staunch about no eating between meals.
So after the wedding talk I went back to Lana and Rachelle's room with Tina (Lilly stayed in her own room) to ask them what happened last night.
"You were so wasted!" Lana laughed shrilly. "I cannot believe how much you drank!"
"Yeah," said Rachelle, "but you were really tired."
God, why am I so lame?
"Did I say or do anything embarrassing?" I asked them. "I mean, besides ditching you guys for Michael's."
"You kept talking about wanting to smell his neck," Lana said and I felt my face burn. GOD, I can never drink again!
"And also about losing something," Tina chimed in.
"Losing what?" I asked, bewildered.
They all shrugged. "We have no idea."
That was, unfortunately, all I found out from them. I'm hiding out in the Royal Genovian Library, hoping that no one will find me here. It's nice and quiet.
I'm pretty sure I didn't lose anything last night. I mean, my clothes and everything that I wore last night have already been returned, washed and folded, care of one of the Royal Genovian Palace maids. I've already seen my wallet and used my cell phone today, so those are safe. What else could it –
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
I JUST REMEMBERED.
I NEVER TOOK MICHAEL'S MOM'S EARRINGS OUT OF MY BAG FROM THE NIGHT HE GAVE THEM TO ME!
Sunday, July 17th, 4 p.m.
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
That's it. I'm dead.
Why am I dead? Because there is no way Michael is going to marry me now. None. Nada. Not after I lost the diamond earrings that his mother gave to him to give to me to wear as my something old for my wedding.
This is quite possibly the WORST thing I have ever done. Seriously. The absolute worst. Worse than the time I freaked out at Michael for not telling me that he had sex with Judith Gershner. Worse than the time I dated J.P. even though I was still in love with Michael. Even worse than the time I made out with Michael while still dating J.P.
No, this tops ALL of that. I am the worst fiancé to ever walk this earth.
I can't BELIEVE I didn't take the earrings out of my bag. What is WRONG with me?
Not that I did it consciously, I just forgot! I know, that doesn't make it right, but after Michael gave them to me and I put them in my purse, I was so tired that I fell asleep right when I got back to my room and then the next day I was so excited about everyone coming that I just didn't even think about it!
OH MY GOD! Did I tell Michael about losing the earrings? Is that why I went to his place last night?
No. My blacked out drunk self couldn't be that stupid, could it?
Besides, we're clearly still planning this wedding, and if I'd told Michael about losing the earrings that definitely would have been called off.
What am I going to do! I know Michael's a boy and all, but he would TOTALLY notice if I showed up next to him at the altar wearing different earrings. And even if he was too much of a boy to notice, his mom so would!
Maybe I'll retrace our steps. Take Francois and go to every single restaurant/bar/club that we went to last night and see if they found any diamond earrings.
Oh yeah, that'll totally work. I am so sure. Because if anyone found a pair of beautiful diamond earrings, they would totally NOT TAKE THEM.
I know that, as a princess, I should have more faith in the morality of my people (even though I remember everything we did in Genovia, it's when we got into Italy that my memory goes blank) but COME ON. Unless it was found by some employee, people would totally take them for themselves.
Or… they SAW that it was me that lost them and are planning to auction the earrings off on eBay for millions of dollars.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
I know what I have to do: avoid Michael at all costs. Because if I see him, I'll just start crying and confess and I can't do that because if and when he dumps me I will DIE because he is my one true love and my sole reason for existence.
Hey, I'm not just thinking of myself, here. If I die, then there will be no heir to the throne of Genovia (because Michael and I, unlike my parents, are CAREFUL) and the country will cease to exist as we know it. So, really, I am thinking of my countrymen and women in all of this.
HERE IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO:
1. Avoid Michael
2. Tell no one about missing earrings
3. Re-trace steps to find missing earrings/search online for identical pair/check eBay
4. Find way to stop televising of wedding (aside from cancelling said wedding)
5. Buy Fat Louie new chew toy
6. Go to wedding dress fitting
7. Make up with Lilly
8. Go to maid-of-honor fitting with Tina
9. Double-check that Grandmère did not get rid of vegetarian meal option
10. GET MARRIED! (hopefully)
Sunday, July 17th, 11:30 p.m.
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
Finally, something is going my way!
Well, kind of. It's not like I found the earrings or anything.
BUT Pavlov Surgical had some kind of emergency and Michael has to go to Portugal until Wednesday to deal with it, which buys me TWO AND A HALF WHOLE DAYS of avoidance from him so as not to spill the beans about the missing earrings. It also gives me time to find the earrings (as if I have the time).
I have it all figured out, though. With the wedding day rapidly approaching (SIX DAYS!) I am getting progressively busier. So, I decided that tomorrow, when I am lunching with the Pope that will be presiding over my wedding ceremony, as well as the chef who will be cooking dinner for my reception (make sure vegetarian option is still there!), the baker who is creating the wedding cake, Vigo, the head of the security team, and various other very important people who have a large role in making sure my wedding runs smoothly (yes, I fully do appreciate them all, I just can't remember all of them right now!), Francois will be retracing the steps that we took last night to see if anyone found a pair of diamond earrings.
Oh please, please, PLEASE FIND THEM!
Also, I was totally awkward when Michael called me a few hours ago to tell me that he had to go to Portugal. Synopsis of conversation below:
Me: Hello?
Michael: Hey Mia, it's me.
Me: Oh. Uh. Hello Michael. How are you?
Michael: Great, but something's happened.
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Michael: Whoa, calm down. It's nothing bad, just something with Pavlov Surgical. I have to be in Portugal by tonight and won't be back until Wednesday.
Me: Oh. Pavlov Surgical. Right.
Michael: Mia, is everything okay?
Me: What? Everything's okay with me. Why do you ask? Are you okay? Is everything okay with you?
Michael: Okay. I'm just going to attribute your jumpiness to wedding stress. Are you sure you're okay?
Me: Wedding stress. Right. Because we're getting married in six days.
Michael: Is there something you want to tell me?
Me: GOD, JUST GET OFF MY CASE!
Michael: I can't wait for this wedding to be over so you can get back to normal again.
Me: Um.
Michael: Okay, well, I love you and I'll call you tomorrow.
Me: Um, that's okay, you don't have to call me. I'll just see you on Wednesday.
Michael: Uh… you sure?
Me: Of course I'm sure!
Michael: Um, okay then. Bye.
I suck at life, really.
I so almost told him, which is why I don't want him to call me again. Because if I tell him, he'll call off the wedding, but my plan is that if he doesn't find out until, like, Friday, he can't POSSIBLY call off the wedding because it'll be too late.
Good plan, right?
I just want it to be one week from now so this nightmare will be over.