I was going to put something here to continue arguing my point, but I decided against it.
Please enjoy.
"You know, this song reminds me of you," Link's fingers motioned toward the car radio, and they worked on the volume knob, turning it up slightly before he looked at Amber, his eyebrows arched, his lips moving along with the song.
"Roses are red, my love," he sang along with the lyrics, never removing his eyes from her, the fire of alcohol's effect burning in his eyes as he did his best Bobby Vinton. "Violets are blue…sugar is sweet, my love, but not as sweet as you."
Amber swallowed the heavy lump of guilt in her throat, and slapped him on the arm playfully.
"Link," she chastised him, though it had been easy to smile at that moment, because he wasn't dead yet, because she wasn't being suffocated by guilt and pain. "You're terrible."
"What?" He asked, his voice shrill and slightly slurred from the drink, "I mean it, Amber. You're as sweet as sugar, darlin'."
"Oh, yes," she rolled her eyes dramatically at him as they cascaded down that twisting road in his car, "I bet everyone else would agree with you on that one."
He shrugged a little, snaking his arm around her and pulling her close; that one action that had inspired her to begin to whisper those words into his ear, the action that sealed both of their fates.
"I don't really care what everyone else says about you," his voice was serious and meaningful suddenly, and she lifted her head, their eyes meeting in the dark car, "None of them know you like I do."
She stared at him, silently for a moment. In reality, this had been the moment when she'd opened her mouth to tell him about Corny, and the games they'd been playing behind his back. She'd had every intention of doing it; telling him the whole truth and nothing but, except suddenly, and at the last moment, she stopped herself. Why should she ruin this perfect moment between them? In reality, this had been the moment when she'd let her hand sneak onto his leg, when she'd let her lips press to his ear, and promised him a special treat once they got to their destination.
However, this wasn't reality; this was a dream. Amber realized it suddenly, but she couldn't stop her dream-self from opening her mouth, and saying the words.
"I've been cheating on you, Link."
Dream-Link turned to her, his eyes narrowed into a look of pain and confusion, his arm slipping from around her. It happened almost in slow-motion; his other hand let go of the wheel, and it started to turn. Amber panicked, and reached out to steady it, but instead of straightening it out, her hands yanked it, and the car jerked. There was that deafening squeal again, and just before the sound of metal colliding with that tree, she heard his voice, though it was deep and unfamiliar.
"This is all your fault, Amber."
She started to scream at him, but it was too late. Just before the car smashed into the tree, she was jolted awake, and knew immediately that she'd been crying. Her face was hot and sticky, she was trembling. She sat up with a jolt, curling her legs against her chest and burying her face, letting herself cry for a moment.
It wasn't the first time she'd had a dream like that. In fact, it wasn't the first time she'd had that dream. She'd been having snippets of it for the last few nights, when she managed to fall asleep. The first time, it had lasted only long enough for her to hear Link sing that song to her. The second, it had gone only a few seconds longer. As she sat huddled on the couch, gasping for her breath, she realized it was the first time it had gone this far.
Of course that wasn't how it had actually happened. He had sang that song to her, and said those words, but when she'd opened her mouth, she'd used her voice to whisper dirty things into his ear, not confess her sins. He hadn't looked at her with such pain in his face, hadn't let go of the steering wheel. It was just her mind playing tricks on her when her dream-self had reached out and jerked that wheel, just a cruel trick when she'd heard him say, "This is all your fault, Amber."
Except, of course, it wasn't, because it was all her fault, whether Link had realized it or not.
There was a sudden, disorienting knock on the door, and she blinked, a quiet gasp escaping her as she tried to subdue her tears. She glanced at the clock, then peered outside through a window. It was dark already. Her mother must have still been at work. Ever since Amber had literally run off camera a little over a week ago, she'd been staying later at the studio, no doubt to audition new girls (and boys) to replace Amber and Link. Amber had tried to apologize, and though Velma had been slightly concerned about Amber's slight breakdown in front of the cameras, it had been the highest rated broadcast for some time, and even if she wouldn't admit it to Amber, that pleased Velma.
She used the back of her hand to wipe the tears and smeared make-up from her face, then pushed herself from the couch, letting her dress straighten itself as she walked to the front door, pulling it open.
He stood looking at her, his eyes narrowed when they fell upon her face. She swallowed, then crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at him in return.
"What are you doing here? I don't want to see you."
Corny shook his head, looking past her.
"Don't flatter yourself, Amber. I'm not looking for you. I'm looking for that slave-driver of a mother of yours. I've been ringing the house, and she hasn't answered."
That may have been because Amber had taken the phone off the hook before her disrupted nap. She shook her head, pursing her lips.
"She's not here." Her feet stayed planted on the ground, and he studied her for a moment.
"Fine. I'm leaving, then." He spun on his heels to go, and, just as she hadn't been able to stop her fingers in that dream, she could not stop the words that spilled from her mouth at that moment.
"How can you not even care that Link's dead?" Tears had began to prick at her eyes, and she blinked, staring at the back of his head before he turned slowly, watching her. He kept his eyes focused on her, but made no effort to move closer or further away. "Link admired you, Corny. You were his role-model."
He moved closer to her suddenly, dipping his head.
"You have no idea what's going on inside my head, Amber, so stop pretending you do." He leaned closer to her, then shook his head, "You're so wrapped up in your own self-pity that you don't ever think anyone else has feelings."
"Well, you've got a funny way of showing it," she challenged him.
"Oh, please. I went to his funeral, his memorial; I've kept his memory alive on the show. Don't tell me about what I haven't done."
He turned on his heels to go, and Amber crossed her arms over her chest, the tears burning her eyes now as they involuntarily began to slip down her cheeks. She wiped them away angrily and followed him onto the porch, stomping her foot. Yes, it was childlike and immature, but she was broken inside. She was so desperate for some sort of comfort that it was too late to keep herself from saying the words to him.
"You haven't comforted me!" And she knew it was a stupid, selfish thing to say. Link was dead and buried in the ground, and she was complaining because the man she'd been cheating on her boyfriend with hadn't so much as spoken a nice word to her in weeks. Still, if there was one thing Amber Von Tussle was, it was irrational.
He looked at her strangely for a moment, as if the idea had never crossed his mind, but made no attempt to move. She hugged herself, willing her tears to stay at bay.
"You haven't even tried to make me feel better about any of this! You know more than anyone why I feel so guilty, and you don't even care! I know Link's gone, and I know it's my fault, and I just-I can't deal with it! I don't know what to do, Corny. I just need somebody to shake me and tell me that I'm not the one to blame for his death. I-" she gasped, and cried silently for a moment, unable to look at him, "I need someone to love me."
He stood silently for what seemed like years, Amber looking away from him. He took a step closer to her, and Amber noticed that he was bunching his hands into fists at his side. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, though not necessarily kind.
"Amber…" he swallowed, then finally tilted her head up to his, watching her eyes. "I warned you about this when we first started." His face was serious, but her eyes stayed locked on his, "I told you not to get like this, remember? Not to expect more than I can give you?"
She nodded dumbly then, her face flushing, and she let her eyes close. She could imagine, just for a moment, that those fingers on her chin belonged to Link. That would make this so right; it would help her so much.
"And do you know why I told you that?" His voice was still low, but he was closer to her now. She shook her head, letting herself look at him again.
"Why?" Her voice was dry, littered with hope and guilt and remorse.
He studied her for another moment.
"Because there's only one way I know how to love you, Amber, and it's not with my heart." His brows were furrowed, and she looked up at him. Suddenly, she knew his words were an invitation; she could take this love, transform it into something else, and accept it. She could let herself be with him tonight, close her eyes, pretend it was Link, pretend that this was the way it was supposed to be.
And though she knew she should have smacked his hands away from her, she no longer had the strength, and she pushed herself onto her tip-toes, pressing her lips against his suddenly. His hands went to the small of her back as he kissed her.
She had begun the twisted game again, despite the fact that she knew she could not win.
Sometime in the next few minutes, he had carried her into the house, pushed her onto the couch. His mouth was on her neck, her lips, her shoulders. His fingers were dragging down the zipper of her dress, pushing the silky fabric from her thin frame, and she let herself rest against the couch, her eyes fluttering open only long enough to arch her back, to help him pull her dress off.
In a moment, she was down to her slip, and she felt his hands leave her body for only a moment, and she opened her eyes, watching as he began to work at the buttons of his own shirt. She knew she should have reached out and undone each one for him, but she wasn't interested. She wanted nothing more than to be held by him, and yet, she knew she would give him so much more than that tonight. Well, she had asked him for love, and he was obliging her the only way he knew how. She had led him to believe that this was okay, when she knew, more than anything, that it was not.
"Amber," he sighed her name as he kissed her skin, as his fingers began to push the straps of her slip down, and he kissed the creamy skin on her chest. She tilted her head back, sighed softly, but would not allow herself to say his name. That would make all of this too surreal, and would cement the fact that she was doing this with Link so fresh on her mind.
Link. Yes, that was it. She would pretend he was Link. This was Link's head dipping between her breasts, Link's hands running up the length of her legs, slowly pushing them apart, Link's breath in her ear. And then, just as she heard the sound of his zipper, the sensation of knowing that in just another second, he would literally be inside of her, there was another sound.
It took her a moment before she recognized it as the sound of keys in the door, and the creak of the door as it opened, but it was too late. Velma stood, her eyes large and damning as Corny pulled away from Amber quickly, attempting to fix himself. Velma, however, was no idiot. She had seen enough to know, and all three of them knew that. Any other woman may have been too stunned by this sudden and unwelcome surprise upon returning home, but Velma Von Tussle was not any other woman. Her feet carried her across the wooden floor quickly, her heels clipping the ground as she walked. Before even directing her attention to Corny, she bent, grabbed Amber's slip, and threw it to her. Amber pulled it over her head hurriedly, crossing her arms over her chest, her face flushed a deep crimson. Her mother had caught her making out with boys before, but not like this; completely naked.
She spun on Corny suddenly, glaring at him. His cheeks were pink, but he attempted to give her a self-satisfied smirk as she narrowed her icy blue gaze at him. Even as he tried to remain indignant, Amber could see in his eyes that he knew his career was over.
"I told you to dance with her, you ignorant asshole, not fuck her!"
"Velma, I-" Amber knew he was attempting to sell her out. She didn't blame him, not one bit, and also knew he would not get the chance to do so.
"Your words have no meaning here, Corny. You're fired, now get the hell out of my house, and stay away from my daughter. I swear to God, if you so much as look at her again, I'll have you for rape."
There was silence between the three of them for a moment. Corny's hard glare met Amber, but he turned away from her. She knew she should have said something. She should have told Velma that she was the one who had started it, that this wasn't the first time something like this had happened between them, but Velma couldn't possibly understand. She'd just caught Baltimore's biggest television personality standing in between the legs of her seventeen-year-old daughter. That spoke volumes to her.
Corny was gone a moment later, and Velma turned back to Amber, her eyes narrowed.
"What in God's name do you think you can find in him, Amber?" Her voice was shrill and high-pitched.
Amber watched her silently for a moment, then shook her head.
"I…I don't know."
Velma laughed a little, sardonically.
"Don't tell me you think he loves you."
"No," she replied, her voice quiet, "I know he doesn't."
"And you don't think you love him." Her words were not a question.
"No," Amber said again, knowing her words were true, "I don't love him."
Velma stood watching her, then sighed after a moment.
"You didn't let him, did you?"
Amber knew what she was referring to, and shook her head slowly.
"No, I didn't."
"Good," Velma said after a moment, "It would have been the biggest mistake of your life, Amber. Trust me." She swallowed, then turned to walk into her bedroom, her gaze slightly unaffected. "Straighten this room up and then get to bed."
Amber nodded obediently, her heart still pounding in her chest.
Velma began into her bedroom, then stopped, and turned.
"You miss Link." Velma's words were a statement, and Amber nodded, tears pricking her eyes.
"Terribly."
Velma nodded once, then held her head high.
"Well, you won't find him in Corny. I can assure you of that." She blinked, then continued her path to the bedroom, "Corny is out of our lives now, Amber. You won't allow yourself to be tempted by him any longer."
"No, I won't," Amber replied softly, listening as she heard her mother's bedroom door shut.
It was only later, after what may have been the most helpful conversation she'd ever had with Velma, that she realized the only path to her redemption was the one that led her out of Baltimore.