ever carried the weight of another? for how long? or walk as far as they need to recover? for how long?

A/N: Alright, so this would (finally) be the end of this elongated one-shot here, folks. I want to say 'thank you' to the people that stuck through this with me, and I'm sorry it took me so long to get this all out. As this was initially meant to be a one-shot, I did in fact at one point consider posting it as such, but since it's really long, I broke it up into four parts. Now I'm finally done, and this is the longest part (and a bit more light-hearted). I really wanted to cut it down, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. xD

I'm not done screwing over Ellis just yet, though. Because I took a break from finishing this (no, I didn't forget about it!) I started writing another story to mess with his head as well and so far it's all good.
No, I'm a good person, I swear. I'll make it up to you guys and post that bit o' Zoey/Ellis story I've been talking about. ...eventually. D:

That said, enjoy the conclusion of exploring the darker side of L4D2 with Nick piecing back together Ellis' broken mind and them being bros.
thanks guys. c:

Part [4/4]

I close my eyes for a while
And force from the world a patient smile

How can you say that your truth is better than ours?
Shoulder to shoulder, now brother, we carry no arms
The blind man sleeps in the doorway, his home
If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won

the tragedy seems to be over now.

Never before had Nick found Ellis' endless drawl soothing, but in that moment it was one of the only things he wanted to hear.

As Ellis regaled him with a tale of the cardboard box that Keith had managed to get himself trapped in and how he'd struggled to talk his way out of an arrest without cracking up too much in his own broken way, Nick lost himself in the words of a past life and cautiously dove into his own memories of being a trouble-making delinquent with a certain way with words that had practically coasted him through high school. His once suave manner had paid off as well—he was a gambler, not a cheater and had to talk his way out of what would have been a drunken one-night stand (she was plastered, he was buzzed) because he'd once upon a time been a nice guy that didn't want to hurt his girlfriend.

She'd been nice enough to begin with, but then the advice he'd once given Ellis about women after meeting that girl on the bridge was ringing in his ears. To be honest, Nick was surprised she hadn't killed him a month into their relationship.

As Ellis carried on with Keith complaining about their lack of beer when it came to their attempt at being homeless, Nick frowned idly to himself when it came to thoughts of his ex-wife.

Figured they'd manage to break up and then somehow cross paths again years later. He wouldn't have been surprised to learn that she'd been stalking him. But then it was the first two months of their former relationship all over again and for some God forsaken reason he found himself proposing without any good reason to. They'd been happy enough to begin with, but the damned honeymoon phase latest all of an hour before he was kicking himself in the ass.

God, was she a bitch!

"…then a cop pulls up 'n I figure they're jus' makin' rounds, righ'?" Nick was snapped out of his tormented memories of broken vows and screaming at Ellis' limp, throaty chuckle. "But then he pulls on over and we got one them 'oh shit' moments, y'know?"

It was clear that there something still off about Ellis—and it would presumably never be fully healed—but even more so that something about being able to talk and have someone other than himself hear his voice was helping him to cope with his tormented reality.

"'n then he starts gittin' outta the car 'n Keith tells me ta play it all cool and let 'im do the talkin' 'cause we didn' wanna get arrested 'n shit. Ta be honest I didn' even think 'bout tha fact that we was loiterin' until the cop was there 'n the last thing Ah wann'd was ta go ta jail 'cause I was stupid enough ta go 'long with it."

Ellis shook his head and Nick rolled his eyes, bringing his cigarette back to his mouth.

"Then Ah'm busy tryin' not ta freak out 'bout goin' ta jail 'n Keith was busting outta tha box he was stuck in when we see Paul standin' at the window of tha garage. Oh man, you shoula seen the look on his face when he recognized us! Oh man, I thought he was gonna shit bricks!" A dry laugh forced its way out of Ellis' mouth, and he closed his eyes at the thought.

"So Paul comes racin' out the door like his ass's on fire while the cop's comin' up ta us lookin' like he's 'bout ready to knock some shit inta sumbody when Keith opens his mouth 'n I jus' knew we was screwed. 'Afternoon, officer,' Keith says like they're sum ol' buddies. 'What kin Ah do ya for?' 'N even though I knew he was jus' tryin' to make things better it wasn't helpin' none, but then tha cop's rollin' his eyes 'cause he recognizes Keith! 'Ain't you that boy that was runnin' on the coaster tracks last week?' 'The very same!' Keith says with sum shit-eatin' grin like it's the best thing he's ever done in his entire life."

Nick quirked a 'brow as a sudden cough wracked Ellis' chest, and the boy thumped his fist heavily against it to clear it of phlegm. As much it may have bothered the con-man to admit it, there was something about finally hearing one of these stories in its entirety that was almost comforting. Strange really, how only earlier today he'd told the young mechanic to can it because no one cared to listen to some exaggerated tale of his best friend.

It was with a sudden inkling of dread that Nick realized these stories might have very well been all Ellis had left of Keith.

Maybe he didn't have anything but his memories.

Nick's heart didn't go out to the kid, but he respected him just a bit more.

"Man, I thought Paul was gonna kill us! Took us awhile to convince the cop that it was jus' sum stupid dare, 'n then he's laughin' so hard he looks like his stomach's 'bout to burst! Holy shit, I was laughin' so hard I could even see righ' 'cause I was so relieved we weren't gonna get arrested!" Ellis' story was interrupted when he started chuckling again, and even Nick had to snicker.

"We was left off with a warnin' 'n all, and Ah swear Paul ain't ever punched me so hard! I had a big ass bruise on my shoulder for a week!"

The laughter slowly died down into gasping sighs, and Ellis' attention was quietly drawn back to the moonlit bars protecting them from the outdoors. Nick smirked to himself and blew out a steady stream of smoke, leveling his gaze with the wall across from him again. They sat in silence for a few moments, and it took a couple of heartbeats for Nick to follow Ellis' gaze and realize that the younger man was slipping away again.

"That's a bit disappointing, you know."

Ellis tore his scowl away from the doorway to stare at his initially unwelcome company incredulously, not understanding what he meant in the slightest. A light smirk tugged at the corner of the con-man's mouth.

"I mean, the one time you come even remotely close to being a badass, and you only get let off with a warning? That's it?" He shook his head slowly, absently ridding his cigarette of some ash and letting it collect on the floor beside him. Ellis was about to glower at him for badmouthing his tale, but then he was too busy smirking himself, adding in the roll of his eyes for good measure.

''I am a badass, ya jackass."

"You are a jackass, I'll give you that." Nick sniggered, sticking the roll of tobacco back between his teeth, leaving Ellis to sputter with his words mutilated and thrown back at him.

The con-man was choking on his own spit at the next thing Ellis said.

"I've been almost arrested twice." He gave Nick a smug look that somehow carried a mixture of pride and embarrassment, earning a curious look with the subtle gesture of a hand that more or less demanded an explanation. Sighing, he twirled his unlit cigarette between his fingers and tore his blushing gaze away to his hand and said object.

"Well, it was this stupid dare, y'see. I was about eighteen at the time and I'd just graduated 'n all, so to celebrate I got dared by my buddies ta run through the park at the midnight. Now see, Ah didn' think much off it 'cause it was jus' runnin' through the park, so I…I…"

The Southerner trailed off with a gentle snigger, his face turn beet red and Nick's curiosity piqued, wanting to know what it was about this so-called 'stupid dare' that had Ellis so worked up.

"Turns out, they dared me ta run through tha park naked."

Much to his chagrin Nick burst into laughter, reminding himself to keep it down least he wake the other two after a few seconds of mirth. The sheer embarrassment in the kid's voice and face was just icing on the cake as he recalled his brush with a public indecency charge.

"Luckily it was too dark so they couldn't see my face 'n shit, and the hell if they're gonna take uh mug shot o' that 'n I didn' plan on flashin' the local police anytime soon, so Ah guess you could say I was lucky 'n got off the hook there."

"Holy shit, kid." Nick said through his chuckles. "I was expecting you to say something about J-walking or some stupid shit like that. I'm proud of you."

Ellis' confident look was back, and he sat up a bit straighter. He grinned and admittedly felt better about himself, if only a little.

"Nope. Go big or go home."

"You're a moron, Overalls." The older man shot back with another roll of his eyes, reaching up to shove the bill of Ellis' untouchable cap over his eyes. It was miracle it had survived this long without being lost and another one that its owner hadn't punched him for touching it.

"Aw, shut up, Nick."

They sat and elbowed one another for a bit, jostling each other and trying to fully break Ellis out of the shell encasing him that was just beginning to crack. With an unperturbed huff, the young ceased fire first, turning away with the shake of his capped head and a misty-eyed look. The duo sat in relative silence for an undisclosed period of time, only knowing that it was way past bedtime and that Ellis should have been asleep hours ago rather than spending who knew how many sleepless nights trapped in the misguided haze of his nightmares.

It wasn't until Nick was shifting that Ellis was suddenly afraid of being left alone again, too caught up in believing that the man next to him was about to ditch him and tell him to suck it up to notice that Nick was only moving to yank his mutilated jacket off of his shoulders. Ellis' breath audibly hitched and then continued in his throat as he became aware of this fact, but Nick made no comment about it otherwise.

It was in that same instant that Ellis realized that he knew absolutely nothing about the man he'd been spilling his guts and fears to.

It didn't bother him, exactly, but it didn't fully sit well either.

"What about you?"

He hadn't known how to really approach the topic of the con-man's blatantly unspoken past, and it took a lot of gumption to even think about venturing into that uncharted territory. He was half expecting Nick to level him with a steely glare and tell mind his own God damn business, Overalls.

What he didn't expect was for Nick to go along with it.

"What about me?" The gambler was genuinely curious, in all honesty. While he had a faint idea of what Ellis was about to get at, he still wanted to see how he'd perform dancing around the eggshells he was too afraid to step on. The boy sighed, clearly working up the nerve to reword his initially vague question.

"Everythin', I guess."

Something stilled in Nick at the one-shouldered shrug from Ellis, but his well-groomed poker face was displayed without hesitation as he regarded the sudden, flustered backtracking.

"Ah—Ah mean, well, it's just that I've been tellin' yew all 'bout me 'n my shit, and Ah don' know nothin' 'bout you." Ellis' exhaustion was much more obvious than his fear, if judging from the way he drawled his words more than usual was any hint. "Hell, none of us do. First thing y'said when ya tol' us yer name was tha' yew didn' plan on stickin' 'round long. Didn' think we was that bad, but then ya stayed with us so I figured things couldn't be that bad then, huh?"

His thinly veiled questions had still gone unasked, too nervous and fearful of rejection to really bring them up.

But Nick didn't like half-assing things and it would make the entire process of drudging up his past much less difficult if Ellis would just spit it out already.

"What do you want to know, Ellis?"

The Southerner watched him carefully, taking a breath and swallowing while piecing together the first most painless question he could think of.

"What's…yer real name?" He mentally slapped himself, but asked it all the same.

"Nicolas." Nick snorted and left it at that. Whatever victory Ellis may have had at that point was sent stumbling backwards onto its ass. He paused and glanced away, trying to think of something else to ask the grumpy older man.

"Well…what's yer favorite color?"

As much as Nick wanted to laugh and punch him, he chose to play along and did both.

"Green." He said to humor the younger man, only to be reminded of a rather rancid excrement of a similar hue that he'd practically been bathed in earlier that day. This response seemed to take a weight off of Ellis' shoulders, and he let out the breath he'd been holding. "You?"

"Uh," Ellis blinked, having to think for a second. "Blue. What's yer favorite movie?"

Nick combed his fingers through his slicked back, greasy hair with a smirk. "The Boondock Saints. First one; second one was shit."

The mechanic snickered and nodded in agreement. "I hear ya. I used ta like some of them zombie movies—the original stuff. The good ones, y'know? Used ta watch all kinds of horror movies with my brother when he'd get me outta bed late at night when ever'one else was asleep 'cause ma'd just about flip a shit if she found out he was sneakin' me these movies that she'd thought scar me fer life. Hell, my brother 'n Ah used ta love zombies, but now…I mean, with all this…"

"I don't blame you," Nick muttered, picking up where Ellis had left off. Something hardened in the kid's eyes, and then it was Nick's turn to come up with questions. "You had a brother?"

"Two, actually." A grin broke across Ellis' face as he responded, looking for all the world at Nick like they suddenly shared some inseparably bond. "Had a sister, too. All older 'en me, o'course. Got me the short end of the stick too, if y'know what I mean." He playfully poked at their height difference sarcastically and wordlessly waited to hear all about the siblings Nick did or didn't have.

He made no mention of whether or not his brothers and sister were alive, but Nick didn't push it.

"Lucky you," Nick muttered, absently scratching the edge of his jaw. "I didn't have any siblings except for a couple of asshole cousins. Guess that runs in the family."

He might as well have said that he had an entire army of God damn horses locked away for the way Ellis' eyes widened.

"Shit, that's cool! I mean, kinda sucks, yeah, but 'least ya didn't git any crappy hand-me-downs and had all the teachers know yer name five years before ya even had them." The kid shrugged. "I mean, I guess it wasn't all that bad, but it still kinda sucked when none uh my clothes even fit me." He blushed, and Nick would have found it amusing had he not been so tired. "But uh, sorry, you were talkin' 'bout bein' an only child?"

Nick shrugged, brushing the dirt and stains on his ruined jacket covering his knee. "I guess it wasn't too bad. Boring as shit sometimes, but I guess that's how I got to being where I am now."

"Whaddya mean?" Ellis sniffed, wrapping an arm around his bent knees and tightly clutching his unused cigarette between his fingers. The way he cocked his head to the side was just an added bonus.

"The hell if I know," Nick muttered, beginning to withdraw back into himself to adopt the persona that Ellis had grown so used to over the past few weeks. However, as much as he hated to get personal and all of that sap, it would be nice to have someone know who he was if he were to die anytime soon. Surely Ellis wouldn't care if he was just very vague—hell, Nick could lie and pretend and talk about some other person and the kid wouldn't mind just so long as someone else was talking to him other than himself.

Maybe it was just the fact that he was exceedingly tired, but Ellis was really confused. That said, he decided to try a different tactic and tackle the metaphorical beast head-on.

"What were you like…" He paused for a moment, wanting to take back his words but then plowed through the rest of his question. "Before all o' this shit?"

Nick didn't know how to answer that. He really, truly didn't.

But he could try.

"Sarcastic, cynical, an ass." The con-man hummed thoughtfully to himself. "Pretty much the same as I am now, just with less of my own blood on my clothes."

He smirked at Ellis' grimace but chose to divulge no further information. There really wasn't much else that he could think to say to the kid because life after school had just been one big fantastic blur with a few hiccups in it that had been punched in the face by the zombie apocalypse. Besides, perhaps some things were better left unsaid.

"Uh, okay." Part of Nick wanted the hick to drop the conversation and leave it at that; part of him wanted to continue it, just to see how they'd both react. "Um, well, uh, look, this might be personal and you don' hafta answer it 'n all, but, uh…"

"Today, Overalls."

'Overalls' swallowed. "Have you ever been ta prison? I mean, 'cause ya said before that yew weren't legally allowed to own a gun, 'n Ah was jus', I mean—"

He didn't mean to, but Nick let out a bark of laughter. This threw Ellis for a loop, partially afraid that the man next to him was about to wring his neck for asking such a question. The snickering died down as Nick's facial features abruptly adopted a darker look, sending Ellis' fingers itching for his long forgotten shotgun.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

The mechanic visibly paled in the moonlight.

"Don't worry," There was another chuckle. "It wasn't anything as bad as late night streaking."

Ellis let out a heavy sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Holy shit man, you me goin' there! Damn!"

The ensuing remnants of the conversation were composed of bits and fragments, each learning pieces of the other's past—entire short stories, in Ellis' case—and quirks of personalities and habits along with general facts. The first thing Ellis did in the morning was put on his cap, Nick always shuffled and then reshuffled a deck of cards (Nick promised to teach Ellis how to play poker after being asked repeatedly). The first time Ellis had ever eaten steak he'd choked on it, and Nick had burned his. Ellis was two years younger than Keith and Nick was the third oldest out of all of his cousins. Ellis had never been married, Nick had.

Nick flushed and regretted having even said anything.

It was a delicate subject, but Ellis approached it nonetheless, a bundle of caution and nerves and offering a hand he didn't know would be sought after.

"Oh yeah, you've got an ex-wife, dun ya?" Came the tired, drawled words. The gambler only nodded—how else was he supposed to respond? Suddenly Ellis was stumbling over eggshells again and trying to pick up the pieces at the same time. "What, uh…what happened?"

Nick, what are you doing? Nick, listen to me. Nick, who the hell do you think you are? Nick, don't give me that bullshit. Nick, don't lie to me! You're an asshole, Nicolas!

The hand that wasn't holding what remained of his cigarette ran down his face.

"You get a, um, you get one of them dee-vorces?" It might not have been the place for questions, but Ellis sincerely couldn't help it. Nick didn't seem to mind.

This isn't working. I'm leaving, Nick. I'm sorry, Nick, I really truly am. I love you, I swear. I just…I don't, right now.

Divorced? Yes. But Nick was a liar, and he was pretty damn good one at that.

(We can still be friends, right?

Bull. Shit. Bitch.)

"She died."

Nicky, sweetie, I didn't mean it. Nicky please, I need your help. Oh God, Nick help me, please, Nick I feel like I'm dying. Nick please, baby, please…

Ellis gulped and with shaking hands reached up to remove his ever present cap to nervously run them through his hair. "Shit, I'm sorry, man."

"Don't be. She was a bitch." Nick sniffed indifferently and was met with an incredulous stare.

"Nick tha's jus' disrespectful. Bitch er not she's still dead and ya can't make fun uh them." He inwardly groaned at the insanity of his own words and waited for the con-man to slap him upside the head because of them. (The latter could have cared less, really. She'd been a bitch, taken all of his money, ditched him, and then had started crawling back toward him the moment the Flu struck. She was just lucky that he hadn't had the chance to pull the trigger before darting off to Savannah because damn that would have just been bittersweet karma there.)

"Whatever," The older man grumbled, single-handedly ending the conversation there and making it clear that any more attempts to continue it down that road would result in heavy consequences—none of which Ellis was eager to learn of.

They'd spent a solid five minutes sitting in silence when something rustled somewhere outside the barred window of the door and Ellis jerked, one hand flying for the shotgun resting idly at his side and the other curling into a fist. Nick reached out at the last second, grabbing a shoulder and giving it a quick yank in order to fling the younger back into their once calm bubble that didn't include any zombies and gave Ellis the chance to get all of this shit off of his chest that had been building up for days. The kid flinched against his grasp, but Nick failed to let that deter him.

There was the sound of more movement (the con-man hoped more so for the sake of the other's mental health that it was just the wind) and Ellis curled into himself, effectively curling into Nick as well.

"Sorry, sorry," He was mumbling as he tried to pull away from the man with the bewildered expression, shaking all over as if he was six again and his older brother had just showed him The Exorcist for the first time. "Sorry, sorry, shit, 'm sorry—"

"Ellis!" Nick hissed, cutting in on said man's apologetic chant. "Ellis, calm the hell down."

A few muttered apologies later and the mechanic was staring at the other man with the blankest look he had. Nick let out a sigh, withdrawing his hand from the body that went back to slumping against the wall.

"Shit, you're tired."

"No, no 'm not…" Began the boy's weak protest, but it trailed off before it managed to even reach a head. Even though he wanted so desperately to sleep and do nothing but sleep Ellis was still too damn terrified to, not knowing what he would see.

"Yes, Ellis, yes you are." The con-man shot back, with a glare that wasn't as heated as most of his others. Maybe he was just too tired or too honest. "You really need to sleep."

Said man went to shake his head but found it too heavy to do so.

Nick was trying to think of something else to say but then suddenly Ellis was shaking and shivering with his exhaustion eating at him, leaving them both trapped in a shaft of moonlight trying so desperately hard not to trip and stumble back to their starting point. Damn if the kid wasn't stubborn, though. He failed miserably in attempting to convince the other that the drowsiness was just a phase and that he'd be perfectly fine in just a few minutes.

He was given a hard look that clearly stated it was time to drop the machismo.

"Ellis, I'm not joking." The older man's voice had taken an edge to it—not enough to send the kid reeling, but enough to tell him that there was no room for argument. He flinched once and only once, slowly and steadily giving in to the elder's demands but looking non-too thrilled about it. It wasn't until the former mechanic shivered again that Nick finally noticed the draft sliding its way through the iron bars protecting them to snake around else.

Last week Nick wouldn't have been caught dead (ah, so funny to think now, wasn't it?) even considering the offer he was about to make, but present day Nick had been forced to endure a shit load of, well, shit, and he wasn't about to force anyone else into having to deal with the same thing—or even more than usual, in Ellis' case.

Even so, there he was with a sigh accompanied by the pinching of the bridge of his nose and telling himself to just buck up and do it already.

"Look, I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep. And I'll stay here while you sleep too, if it makes you feel any better." He groaned audibly. "...I promise."

Having initially been watching him with lidded eyes plagued by the bags beneath them, Ellis' eyes widened both at Nick words and as he watched him slowly reach for his formerly white jacket draped across his knees, following by a somewhat disgruntled, "Here," as he extended it toward the young man.

The latter shook his head slowly, much too shocked and confused in his poor, tired state to do much else. He was about to give another timid shake of his head when he paused, eying the extended offering as if asking the con-man what he wanted him to do next. The green-eyed pessimist rewarded him with a careful glare.

"You're not going to make me do it for you, are you?"

Ellis glowered, snatching the bunched fabric and holding it loosely before him, staring down at it as if it were some diseased beast he'd been charged with executing. He hadn't planned on doing much else with it, but finding himself under the watchful eye of the man next to him he bit back an embarrassed whimper, slinging the sports jacket around his weighted shoulders. The jacket was much too big for him, but not enough that he was uncomfortable in it. With an uneasy fidget he adjusted it around his torso, wrapping himself in it with something akin to silent gratitude.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

Shrugging one shoulder as if attempting to brush off the exchange as nothing much, Nick proceeded to roll down his sleeves. As he did so the Southerner took note of all of the bruises and scraps dotted with dried blood, but failed to comment on it. His arms looked roughly the same, only one was lined with the tattoo that the man with the slicked back hair didn't have.

Which reminded him...

"'Ey, Nick, does this mean we're bros now?"

("I'm going to get a tattoo that says 'NO,' Ellis.")

Said man froze at his words, choosing instead to engage in a staring contest with a button on his cuff rather than answer the boy immediately. His cigarette burned listlessly between two of his fingers.

"Go to sleep, Ellis."

As per usual, the hick was undeterred, shrugging to himself and turning away from Nick. The finer traces of his trademark grin—the ghost of Rochelle and the other two men had been seeing for the past few days—tugged idly at the corners of his mouth as he did the same with the article of clothing that was just about familiar as it was alien. A hand slid out of the discolored cocoon to rub the heel of its palm against a closed blue eye and then retracted as Ellis leaned against the wall behind him once more, albeit gingerly in his newest possession.

"I'mma take that as a 'yes.'"

Nick snorted with the roll of his eyes.

"Whatever."

Ellis released a yawn in that moment, his gaze slipping to the shotgun laying forgotten beside him and then to the barred window giving him a partial view of the inky sky beyond it. Rather than grimace this time around, he gave a small smile, turning his attention away from it and shifting around again.

"G'night, Nick."

He said nothing, and unsurprisingly it was within minutes of ducking his chin into his chest that the mechanic was asleep—a bit fitfully at first, but soon dead to the world (not quite to such a dark extent) at the light brush of blue cotton against his now clothed arm and Nick moved around himself, trying to maintain some feeling in his ass if he were to stay here for the remainder of the night. It was with an apathetic grimace that he watched the remnants of cigarette burn down to the filter before he flung it into the space where the wall met the floor.

"Night, El,"

It served as a shock more to Nick than to the unconscious form next to him that he didn't flinched or throw a fit when Ellis' sleeping head lolled to the side to rest upon his shoulder.

"Bro,"

Ellis smiled in his sleep.

Nick didn't even look mildly ashamed when Rochelle came whirling around the corner in her flustered state during her erratic search for the young Savannah native, having recently awoken only to find her couch-mate inexplicably absent, he simply nodded and left their exchange at that.

Ellis slept peacefully for the first time in a week, later awaking to the sleeping form of his older brother wearing a light grin.