A/n Hi everyone! So sorry for how long this took. After Winter Break, school got really crazy and I literally had zero time to sit down and write. Anyways, here's chapter four!
Y/n's POV
You pant, the run having left you completely spent and out of breath. Taking a look, you see vaguely familiar surroundings and try to remember where you are. The peeling, light blue paint jolts your brain and the pieces connect: you're at Bucky's house. You furrow your brows, confused. Seeing as you've only been to Bucky's once or twice, it's a tad odd that you would remember the way. You contemplate going back home. But you came all this way...biting your lip, you walk up the three stairs and knock on the front door. It creaks open without much preamble, and you're met with the wide blue eyes of a young girl.
She scrunches up her face, and, despite your mood, you have to hold in a laugh when you realize that this has to be Bucky's little sister because she scrunches up her face just like he does. "Who are you?"
"I-" you start, but she cuts you off.
"Bucky! Some girl is here for you." Her voice is tinged with disdain.
A boy about the age of eleven appears behind the girl. You met him one of the times you visited Bucky at his home-he's Jack, one of Bucky's brothers.
"That's not some girl, dummy," Jack criticizes, "It's Y/n, Bucky's girlfriend."
"Oh, I'm not-" you hurry to correct, but Bucky appears behind the two, his eyes meeting yours in surprise and the rest of the sentence falls away.
"Lila, what have we told you about opening the door?" He looks at the young girl sternly.
She, Lila, shrugs. "Not to." She doesn't seem very concerned, and you bite back a smile.
Bucky rolls his eyes fondly. "Yeah, you should try that sometime, then."
Lila just smiles and skips into the living room with Jack trailing behind her. Bucky gestures for you to come in.
"Sorry for just showing up, I don't mean to intrude," you begin your apology, but Bucky shakes his head with a gleam in his eyes.
"Don't worry about it. It's only right after all the times I've barged into your home dragging a beat-up Steve behind me."
You smile, but don't really feel it. Bucky can tell. "What's wrong?"
You let out a breath, suddenly second-guessing your decision to bother Bucky with your problems.
He grabs your hand and gives it a little squeeze. "Let's go outside and talk." You nod, feeling a little better from his reassurance. "Jack, Lila," Bucky stops into the living room to talk to his siblings, "Y/n and I will be out back. Come get me if the baby wakes up and starts to cry."
The two nod absently, engaged in a game of swords. Bucky grabs a blanket and his coat before leading you through the tiny house and holding the back door open for you. The backyard is small but well-cared for, with a large tree that you're sure looks lovely in spring. Under the tree sits a small wooden swinging chair, and you and Bucky take a seat. It's chilly but not horrible for early December, but you're grateful for the thick blanket and your sweater. Bucky looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to speak. Instead, you fiddle with the edge of the blanket, trying to figure out what exactly you want to tell Bucky, and how. The silence weighs on you. Finally, it all becomes too much and you blurt it out.
"My dad's going to war, Buck." Your voice breaks and tears enter your eyes. This is the first time you've said those words, and you know the meaning behind them. Your dad could die.
Pain enters Bucky's eyes and he pulls you into a hug you gratefully accept. As you cry, you concentrate on the feel of his arms around you and the pull of the muscles in his back in an effort to ground yourself. Using his foot, he rocks the swing back and forth.
"That's...that's no good, Y/n, I'm sorry."
You sniffle. "I-I just don't understand why. He fought in the last one, he should've been safe!"
"Well hey, they're saying that the war shouldn't last longer than six months, he should be home in no time!" His voice is tinged with false positivity.
"If he doesn't die first." Your voice is grim.
Bucky doesn't have a response, so he just holds you tighter.
The combination of Bucky's arms around you and the gentle rocking of the swing slowly calm you down. When all that's left are sniffles, you sit up straight.
"I'm sorry for dumping all this on you." Your face feels hot.
He smiles and you feel just a tiny bit better. "Don't be. That's what best friends are for. Do you want to go inside? I think-and I'm making no promises here but I think-that there may be some cake left over from Ma's party the other day."
You grin, which feels strange after the crying. "Oh, Bucky, you know just how to treat a gal."
The two of you laugh at yourself and head inside.
"Bingo!" Proudly, Bucky presents you with a slice of chocolate cake.
Just then, the baby begins to cry. Bucky starts towards the stairs, but you wave him off.
"Nuh-uh, you're on cake duty, mister. I'll get the baby."
Bucky nods and searches for a knife. "Charlie."
You nod and climb the stairs. There are four bedrooms, but the sound of the crying makes it easy enough to guess where Charlie is.
"Hey there, little guy." The minute Charlie's been picked up, he begins to calm. Carefully, you descend the stairs and meet Bucky at the kitchen table.
"Well, look who's awake," Bucky grins and leans in to kiss Charlie's forehead. You sit down and shift Charlie to one arm so you can have the other free to eat, but Bucky shakes his head.
"I'll handle the cake, you handle the baby. Now open."
Rolling your eyes, you do as he says and he pops a piece of cake into your mouth.
"Oh, that's good!" You exclaim.
He nods, taking a bite of his own. "Right?"
Displeased with the lack of attention, Charlie begins to cry. As you bounce him in your arms, Bucky feeds you another piece of cake. The whole thing feels very domestic, and you can't help the feeling of warmth and peace that spreads through your body. This is good. For the first time in basically forever, you feel the pull of the typical, expected future. Suddenly, in this moment with Bucky, the whole thing actually has appeal.
The sound of the front door opening interrupts your thoughts. You shoot up, knowing it's not great for a parent to come home to find a man and woman unaccompanied.
Bucky grabs your hand. "Don't worry about it, it's just Ma."
Relief floods through you. You met Bucky's mother both times you visited, and she's always been incredibly nice and laid back. Once she's done greeting Lila and Jack, Mrs. Barnes enters the kitchen.
"Oh, hi, Y/n! Bucky didn't tell me you were coming over."
A sheepish look crosses your face. "That's because he didn't know. I just kind of barged in."
Mrs. Barnes smiles sweetly. "Well, I'm glad you did. Bucky needs more consistent friendships, anyway."
Neither of you misses her meaning. You busy yourself with bouncing Charlie while Bucky responds.
"Awh, come on, Ma. You know I'm a good guy."
Mrs. Barnes' face softens. "I know. You kids enjoy that cake. It's about time Charlie eats, too." Smiling, Mrs. Barnes happily swings Charlie from your arms, rubbing noes affectionately with her child. "He seems to like you, Y/n. Even Bucky can barely get him to stop crying."
"Hey, I try," Bucky defends himself with a laugh.
"Yes, you do." Mrs. Barnes ruffles his hair. With one last smile for you, she carries Charlie upstairs.
You sigh. "Your mom is so great."
"So's yours," Bucky responds with an easy shrug.
"Yeah but," you huff, "she's just not as warm and kind as yours."
Bucky chuckles ruefully. "You just wait. I can get her really fired up and angry."
"Bucky!" You chide.
He puts his hands in the air with a winning grin. "It's not like I try! Just sorta happens sometimes."
Your chuckles die down and you glance at the clock. With reluctance, you stand. "I should be getting back...I kind of just darted out on my parents, and they've got to be worried."
Bucky stands as well. "I'll walk with you. Probably time I paid Steve a visit, anyway."
Steve. Steve...who lives right next door to you. Who would have been happy to hug you and let you cry. But you ran to Bucky instead...uh oh.
Bucky furrows his eyebrows and looks at you intently. "You good?"
"Yeah," you smile in hopes of making up for your shaky voice.
"Well then, Doll," he grins and offers you his arm. "Let's get going."
{***}
Two days later, you're surprised to see Bucky sans Steve at your front door.
"Hey, I wanna ask you something. Can I come in?"
Confused and a little worried, you step back so he can enter. He's smiling, so it's obviously not a bad something he needs to ask. You both sit at the kitchen table.
"What is it, Buck?"
"You know how work has been making my dad take on crazy hours, right?" You nod, well aware of the story. "Well my job is starting to do the same thing, so I'll be home less to help Ma out. So she was wondering, since you're so good with the kids and all, if you wouldn't mind helping her out a few days a week? She'd pay you, of course, and you would be responsible for helping her care for the kids, cleaning up, and running errands. She really likes you, so she wanted to make sure she offered the job to you before asking anyone else. Whaddya think?"
Bucky just looks so pleased that you can't help but beam, too. "I'd love to! I love your family, and gosh, it would be great to make the money."
Bucky nods emphatically. "Plus, you can probably find time to study for your nursing school when the kids are napping. And," he grins widely, "I'll get to see you more often, since it's only natural that I'll be walking you home every night."
"Bucky, this is great! Thank you." You're sincerely grateful for this opportunity, and getting to see Bucky more often is a huge bonus.
{***}
Late December 1941
The wind bites your face and your heels sink into the snow. Winter has not been kind to Brooklyn. Two weeks ago, your father left for Japan. The goodbye was horrible. Your mother sobbed and you had bitten a cut into your cheek in your effort to stay strong. Afterward, your mother locked herself in her room for two days. You spent that night sobbing into your pillow but haven't cried since. You've been too busy. The hospital asked your mother to work longer hours, so more of the household duties have fallen to you. In addition to that, you spend three days a week at Bucky's and every ounce of free time studying to be a nurse. Your exam is next week, and while you feel prepared, the nerves eat at your insides.
"Careful there, buddy." Bucky reaches out and grabs Steve by the shirt in time to stop him from falling face-first into the snow.
"Ah, thanks, Buck." Steve wipes his snow-covered hands on his pants before tucking them back into the pockets of his coat. You're all tired from a long day of work, but the silence is weighing on you so you try to make conversation.
"We got a letter from my father today." Both men smile at you. "Dad's settled in Japan, although he can't tell us exactly where. He's flying, I know that much."
"I wonder where you'll go," Steve muses.
You chuckle. "I'm not going anywhere, silly. I'll work in the same hospital as...my mom…" Your voice trails off as realization dawns on you.
Steve is looking at Bucky...meaning the question was directed towards him. Your heart begins to burn. You stop walking.
Bucky is glaring daggers at Steve, who now looks sheepish.
You do your best to keep your voice sounding tight and controlled. "What's going on?" But you already know. And you hate it.
Bucky offers you a half, sad smile. "I haven't even gotten my orders yet."
You breathe in a shaky breath. "But you'll get them eventually."
He nods, giving you a level stare. "Yes."
You turn to Steve. "You too?"
He scowls. "No. They won't take me, I've tried five times."
Bucky sighs and wraps an arm around you. "Don't worry, Doll. The war will be over in no time, and then the three of us will all be together again."
You swallow tears and pray he's right.