Author's Note: Hey, y'all! I know, I know, it's been a while... Camp... then school... dumped in homework... the usual...So, did ya miss me?

Far Away

Chapter 4

Once Upon The Wonder Years

I just stood there, watching her cry, knowing from past experience not to do any physical contact with her at any times. That's my Yardena. Even though she cried for the longest time, she never moved or made a sound. Never moved to wipe away tears, just stared onto the carpet, which wasn't too pretty if you ask me. Never moved to move her face away from me so I would stop staring at her. Never sniffed if her nose got sutffy. Just cried, and cried, until she couldn't cry anymore.

Still, she never moved or made a sound until she got hungry.

She got up, going out of the door, heading towards our suite's kitchen. I followed her.

Yardena never made a sound about me following her, even though I wasn't even close to being hungry. Never repoistioned her eyes, just kept staring at nothing, her body seeming to know that routine. I'm guessing she's always like this. Cry, silent, still. I'm hungry.

I stared. She ate, hardly knowing I was there I am sure.

In the middle of cutting little pieces of chocolate, she fell to her knees and sobbed. Sobbed so hard she was breathing slower and slower. This can't be good for the baby.

When it got to the point where I couldn't hear any breathing, I went to her to see, but only to see she had stopped making noise and just laid there, silently crying once again.

-:-

Switching to Yardena's POV

Casey. I have always hated that name. Just something about it has always struck me as a bad doing. Ugh. It just makes me shiver.

-:-

So, where I came from, downtown New York, there are plenty of Jews, so no one really asks how do you pronounce your name? As a kid, even though I went to a public school, we always got out for Yom Kippur and everyone I knew dressed up for Purim.

No one asked do you keep kosher? It was more of the question which kosher meat would you like?

No one at the deli asked do you want cheese on your chicken wrap? Everyone knew it. NO!

Never in my life have I had such Jewish difficulty until I came here, to this hell, this place so terrible I can't say words to describe all the shit I've been through here.

But if it wasn't for that special someone, I wouldn't be here. With Casey. With that, that thing in my stomach. With that background.

With him still in my life, still in me, still in my memory, haunting everything I do, making me what I have become today.

Oiy vey, that guy drives me crazy. If only. If only you knew him, knew him real good, you would say the same thing.

You see, this guy isn't any normal person. He's a backstabber. An attacker. A devil. A demon. The ruler of all things evil.

Now, this guy seems like the worst person on earth, but he wasn't always like that.

Back in the good ol' days, the Wonder Years, as my friend Chaya calls them, he wasn't too shabby.

He was trustworthy. Loving. Portective. Caring. All the good things in life. Including cute.

But, as I look at him today, he's the ugliest and most horrific thing I've ever seen.

In the Wonder Years, the Wonder Years of every year except this year, he was my best friend for life. The person I loved the most. The person I trusted the most. The person I knew best, and I was the person he knew best.

Even though he was a guy and I was a girl, he understood me, no matter what I went through, and he was always a shoulder to lean on.

But, he always said he wasn't going to live as long as most people.

He knew from a young age something would happen that make him so sad he would just die. Literally, DIE.

I never believed him, knowing someone with such good will would never die. Would never die not even when I was dead.

He would live as long as Abraham, 147 years, maybe longer.

He was me, he was my hero until it happened.

I was always willing to do anything with him. Anything. Anything if it made him happy as am I.

But it never accured to me how far I would go.

Apparently, that was too far.

A few months ago, he walked me home, as he always did since we lived on the same floor. There's a little alley, very blocked from the rest of the city, that we used to hang out as kids. We did so many things there- played tag, brought laptops to search the part of the net our parents would never think of us looking at. It was all fun and games, until that day- April 14th- that it happened. It has been the worst thing that could ever happen to me. The thing that ruined our relationship forever.

We walked past it and laughed, but something else happened. He put is hand on my shoulder as if he were losing balance, but he didn't. Instead, with quick movement, scooped me up from the legs and threw me into the alley, landing back first on the concrete floor.

He ran inside, and immediately laid above me and took out a roll of duck tape. He ripped off a piece and put it on my mouth so quick I didn't realize what he was doing.

He said these words so fiercely, I had to follow them. "Listen up, here, Yardena. All these years have taught me a valueble good lesson. Friends are for bitches- bitches like you Yardena. You never meant anything to me. You're just bait waiting for me to eat. And the time is now."

He ripped the piece of tape of my mouth so quick and hard it hurt. It hurt more than anything in the world. Had I really gotten my self into this?

Once the tape as off, he raped me.

-:-

That's what makes me, me. Don't ever say you're scarred for life, because be lucky that you aren't. Have you been raped?

-:-

-Ooohh... how'd y'all like that? Didn't it answer some questions? Did you know it was coming? Answer in a precious REVIEW, please!

Much love;;

Lili