Chapter 4- Loosing

This sucks!

First, I have no wood around, so no stake.

Second, no way to defend myself, with me being tired and moody, doesn't help out either, and I'm not going to mention my stupid broken hand.

I wonder why she hasn't risen yet?

Maybe its to soon?

I mean it must have happened recently, I think it takes a day at least for the blood to mix or something.

Damn! I knew I should have listened to Giles more.

A pang of regret fills me when I think of him.

I wish he was here, at least just to tell me how many hours it will be before she get's wakes up and gets hungry.

I always thought it was 24 hours.

That must mean there are vampires who were here recently, probably snacking on townspeople.

Crap, I'm even more screwed.

I'm in no shape to defend anyone right now.

I should get out of here, but if I leave what if she smells me and decides to go looking for some slayer blood?

We can't be neighbors, her killing random people in the next crypt down from mine.

What if she wants to borrow my candles?

No, I can't take the chance, I'll have to kill her.

I need to look for a weapon.

Well they do have trees, but then I would need a knife.

Looking around, there was nothing but some flowers, candles, and coffin.

Wait a minute, a coffin.

Laughing to myself I start think about all the vampires I've killed and never thought of using their own wood from their coffins before.

Now I just need a way to cut off a piece.

Leads me back to needing a knife.

Maybe I could just brake a part off, with my foot.

Yeah, that could work. It's not like I'll be in pain.

Snapping off a piece was actually easier than I thought, I guess coffin making wasn't very good back in 1901.

Now with a weapon in hand, I opened the lid.

Looking at her now, she reminded me of Dawn, which made me feel guilty.

What is she going to do without me?

I remember she was the one screaming my name.

Poor Dawn, she's really alone now too, especially with mom gone.

More guilt fills me, well at least I can feel guilt.

I can't think about her now, this girl is not my sister, and I have a job to do.

Her family probably loved her, the dress they put her in looks nice, all beige and all that lace, it probably took forever to make.

Wait a minute, I need a dress.

Okay, so stealing a dress from a vampire/corpse may sound wrong, but I'm desperate, and her dress is a nice color. Not a black witchy color like mine, I wonder why they dress dead people in white and not black?

Hopefully she won't wake up to me taking off her clothes, that would be hard to explain. I'm here to stake you, but first, I need your dress.

She doesn't even move, as I take off her dress.

Whoever made her must have done a really sucky job, or the vampires in this place are more resistant?

I feel like a doctor, looking at a corpse.

Did I feel this sort of detachment to the dead before?

No, there it is again, this feeling of loss.

I won't focus on it, I need to get dressed.

Wow, they don't wear underwear here do they?

Or, maybe they don't put them on the corpses?

Waste of fabric?

I'll give her mine, that way she won't be naked.

I can't stake a naked corpse, it would just feel weird.

I gather my courage, and slowly strike down.

It goes in, and nothing happens.

No yelling, no fighting, not even an eye opened.

Just nothing.

For some reason this just depresses me more, I just stole a dress off a dead girl and I'm depressed because she wouldn't fight me.

Some part of me just wanted her to wake up and look at me, just to make me feel more alive than a ghost.

Which is what being numb partially feels like. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't want her to have fought me.

It would only have ended badly for me, there was a very good chance she would have won.

Why doesn't that produce the required fear, it used to have on me?

Why do I sort of wish it had happened that way instead?

I quickly get out of there with my water tins and a small lit candle.

Perhaps I should have kept the stake, but I didn't.

Getting back into my own crypt made me feel better.

I lit some of the candles and the crypt emitted a small glow, there now I won't feel so vampish.

I settle down on the ground again, near the staircase. Maybe the sun will wake me up this time.

I smile to myself thinking, who would've thought a vampire slayer would sleep in a crypt?

The next morning...

I realize how dirty I am. Why haven't I cared? Usually I would be throwing a fit to try and get clean somehow.

From what I remember not being clean is generally looked down in 1900's... maybe if I was magically transported to the 1970's, I wouldn't look so out of place.

I get up and take a drink out of my water tin. Well I can at least wash my hands and face with some of this water.

I slowly start to rinse the dirt off my face and realize I have to wash my hair too, if I ever wanted to go out into civilization again.

So I sacrificed the rest of my lovely greenish looking water for a sort of cold water hair rinse.

All of this would probably go smoother if I didn't just have one hand to work with, since the other one can't grip anything. I must have hurt worse than I thought?

Shaking the last bits of water out of my hair and combing it with my fingers.

To bad there was no blow dryer. Of course there was no comb and nothing to hold my hair up.

Its funny how you don't miss the things you had, until they're gone.

Authors Note:

Hi, I just wanted to tell you I appreciate ya'll reading this! I just want to make some things a little clearer.

I have never written anything before, and I'm therefore searching for a Beta. I am going to work on proofreading, but to tell you the truth, I'm really just trying to put this story down somewhere, so I thought what better way than to go to so that other people can see my lovely writing skills first hand and judge it (haha).

Obviously its not going to be a perfect piece of writing, maybe later on into the story I will fix all the grammatical and spelling errors, but as for right now, I just wanted to get some chapters off, and I hope it won't bother you all too much. I am aware it annoying though so I really will try a little more on the whole beta thing. I don't suppose any of you have any great skills in being a beta (I don't mean fighting fish haha...). If you do, you can PM me.

I will warn you that Buffy will be a bit different than on the original show, the reason is that this is an Alternate Universe story, which means she's doing the whole depressed out of grave buffy thing by herself and not being with her friends is going to make her act/think a little differently. Also as you can see, Spike is going to take a while before he shows up in my story, I should put that out there for all of you Spuffy fans. If you guys have any constructive comments feel free to tell me what I'm doing wrong/right. Again newbie here I don't want it to be perfect but I would like to know what to work on in the future. So all comments are welcome! I do intend to make this story more darker than what it is right now, and I might change the rating, but that won't be for awhile. Thanks for reading!