Title: New Beginnings 4/?
Rating: PG
Author: woodrosegirl
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Derek and Addison talk, and Addison makes a decision.
She runs out of the house, unable to hear anymore of what Derek has to say. She sits on the cold sand, mind whirling, hand tapping nervously against the cold, long stem of her wine glass. She doesn't know what to think about the unexpected scene that played out to her this evening. She'd thought about a possible reconciliation between the two of them, but she never thought it would actually happen.
Never in a million years.
She thought that he was happy with Meredith. Apparently not. As much as she's never fallen out of love with Derek she doesn't know if she wants to get back together with him.
He hurt her, and she hurt him.
Too much hurt.
She doesn't want to get hurt again.
The wind chills her as she continues to remain on the beach, not wanting to go back inside and face Derek. She doesn't hear the footsteps on the soft sand that signal his arrival, she only feels the sand shift beside her as he takes his place alongside her.
"You have a lovely view" he says, trying to make conversation. She doesn't reply so he tries again. "You always did like the beach"
She breaks her silence. "Derek, what do you thinks going to happen here?"
Now it's his turn to be silent.
"We get back together, hurt Meredith and we'll be happy for what? A few months? Then you'll settle back into your old ways, you'll be distant, and I'll feel lonely. Then what? We break up, again and I'll end up getting hurt" She turns to face him. "Am I wrong?" He moves his hand over to hers and clasps it gently and she doesn't stop him.
"Addison" he pauses and squeezes her hand. "I've changed since New York. I'm not that person anymore, and I don't intend to be that person ever again" She takes a long drink of her wine.
"How can I believe that Derek? What happened in New York, and then Seattle was awful for me"
She starts to choke on her words as the tears threaten. He moves his second hand to her and wraps it round her shoulders as the tears fall. He pulls her close to him as she cries, the pain of the events from the past proving too much for her. "Ssssh Addie, its okay, its okay" he says as he softly rubs her back. She lets the tears fall, allowing her walls to crumble down in front of Derek.
It's not the first time she's cried like this over him. It's been difficult, trying to get over him during the past few months and a big part of her wants to believe that they can be Addison and Derek. However the cynical side of her has misgivings. Trusting Derek again, and in turn him being able to trust her would take a large part out of both of them. As the tears start to subside he continues to hold her until they stop completely.
"I'm sorry" she says quietly.
"Addie you never have to apologise to me" he says and continues to hold her tightly.
"You have to understand, and believe me Addie; I've changed since New York. I was lost when I was with Meredith. I thought that I loved her, but the only person I love is you Addison"
She wriggles out of his grasp and turns to face him.
"Derek are you sure? Are you sure you're not still in love with Meredith"
"I was never in love with her" he says gently. "It's always been you Addison"
Hands still entwined he moves forward to move her shorter hair away from her face and behind her ears. Gently he places his hand under her chin and tilts her face upward towards him. He moves in to kiss her and she responds, cautiously at first but with similar urgency that he himself feels. Slowly he opens his mouth and lets his tongue glide to find hers. She allows him too and their tongues circle and entwine with each other. She lets him lead the kiss and when it reaches its natural end she opens her eyes slowly and holds his gaze.
"Don't tell me you haven't missed that" he whispers to her. Her response to him to him is to pull him close to her, feeling his warm arms encircle her.
"I have missed that" she confesses. "And I have missed you"
"We can be Derek and Addison again" he says "If you're willing to give us a new start?"
She moves forward and kisses him softly.
"I'm willing"
He smiles broadly at her words and moves in to kiss her again. His tongue finds hers as he moves in her mouth. The kiss is soft and they move into each other as if they haven't done so in tears. She places her wine glass onto the cool sand and moves her arms around his back. He begins to kiss her with more urgency as desire takes over his mind and body and he moves her down onto the sand. The kisses are now fuelled with a passion that she hasn't felt in months. He shifts himself so that he's above her and lightly pins her wrists down onto the sand. She breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.
"Not here Derek"
As he releases her wrists she notices that he's breathing just as heavily as she is.
"Okay" he says and they stand up from the sand noticing the imprints that their bodies have left. As they brush the grains away from their clothes Derek takes Addison's hand and she leads him back into the house.