MEANWHILE….
"And So, Perry the platypus," Doofenschmirtz said grandly to an annoyed Agent P, "I shall now shoot 9 EXPLODABLE nets of spray-cheese at the mayor's conference in front of the town hall!" he bent down to press the button, but, then, out of nowhere…
A platypus tail smacked him in the face, sending him flying into the side of the machine. The machine was knocked off course now pointing to the suburban part of Danville. Unfortunately, Dr. D's foot hit the button anyway, and 9 nets shot out of the cannon.
"Perry the platypus! How did you escape?" Doof exclaimed, apparently amazed at Perry's ability to yet again foil his plans, "Oh, you ate yourself out? Well, I suppose that is the obvious thing to do. I wonder why I didn't think of that? I should probably do something to fix that, make the spray-cheese taste of … tripe or something. Or perhaps-"
He was cut short as Perry threw him off the cheese-inator and reached for the self-destruct button. Having pressed it, he pulled out a jet pack and flew off the balcony.
"Curse you Perry the platypus!" screeched Heinz, shaking his fist at Agent P. The cheese-inator exploded, the countdown having ended. There was a pause, then a warbly German voice said, "Hey, this spray-cheese tastes better than I remember it tasting!"
Now, being Phineas and Ferb fans yourselves, I probably don't have to tell you where those nets ended up, so I won't.
The random people who were playing the games in Phineas and Ferb's backyard were very surprised to see giant nets of spray-cheese land on the games then blow up. First, they were shocked, then they were aghast, then they almost became angry, but then they shrugged and walked away to watch the last surviving boardgame being played. Except for one man who had a mortal fear of giant snakes and ladders boards mysteriously exploding: he went mad. One asks why he came in the first place, as this is Phineas and Ferb and things routinely blow up in their backyard. Perhaps he was new to the area and therefore hadn't witnessed – ok, going off on a tangent there, not relevant.
The only boardgame that hadn't exploded was the Mastermind, which was being played by Juniper and Buford.
If you are not familiar with the game of Mastermind, I shall now explain it to you. Mastermind is played with a plastic board with several holes in. The holes come in two sizes, a larger and smaller variety. The small holes are arranged in a column of 10 squares, and the large holes are in 10 lines of 4 adjacent to each of the squares. An extra row of 4 large holes is at the head of the board and has a plastic guard so only one player can see. There is also a series of pegs used in play. Like the holes, pegs are separated into small and large varieties. The small pegs come in black and white, while the large pegs come in black, white, yellow, red, green and blue. There are two players, the coder and the de-coder. The coder arranges four large pegs of any available colour on the guarded row of large holes. The de-coder has to guess the code on the first row of large holes on the opposite side of the board. The coder then 'marks' the guess placing a small black peg for a large peg in the right colour, but wrong place, in one of the small holes and a small white peg for a large peg in the right place and right colour in another small hole, and nothing if both are wrong. The position of the small pegs in the square should not be relevant to the place in the row of the large peg it is describing. Then the de-coder guesses again on the next row, and again and again until he/she 'gets it'.
Juniper was the de-coder in this game, and Buford was the coder. She had had 4 guesses, and was pretty sure she knew what the code was, but was too scared to put it down. You see, Juniper was rather easily intimidated, and Buford being Buford, he petrified her. She was curled in a ball at her end of the board, staring at her feet and rocking backwards and forwards as Buford taunted her.
"Is the little girly to scared to challenge big Buford?" He teased, "Everybody, Juni's too scared of Buford to win the game!"
Juniper slowly rose to her feet, her head still lowered. Then she raised her face. Everyone could see her eyes were burning. She walked up to Buford.
"Never, EVER call me that again," she said. She didn't shout, but there was an edge to her voice that made the crowd gathered shrink with fear.
"Why not?" snickered Buford. He still acted cocksure, but you could tell he was nervous.
"You Will Not," she replied. The words had capital letters in the way which she spoke them. "You Will Not, because," she started to shake, "because…" she sat on the edge of the board, positioned so she could not see Buford's code, and broke down into tears. The crowds watched this ten-year-old girl cry into her hands with long hard sobs.
Phineas came and sat next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Do you want to tell me? If you get it off your chest you'll feel better…" Phineas suggested. Juniper shook her head firmly. "Are you sure? You know, when you're running from something, sometimes the best thing to do is turn around and face it in the face, after that, you're free to move on."
Juniper stopped sobbing. She sat up and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.
"Can I have a tissue?" she asked. About a hundred tissues were thrusted at her. She took one and blew her nose, and wiped her eyes again. "Thanks," she said, "Well its like this…"
"My dad, he was called James Appleton. He married a woman called Delia Golding. They were so in love. They had a daughter, called Wisteria. She's my sister, and she's 19.
"When Wisteria was 4, Delia died of cancer. My dad was shattered. He became a wreck and Wisteria had to care for him and herself. She didn't mind, because she loved him. Eventually, he got better, and when Wisty was 8, he married my mom, Emma. They had me, and for nearly 10 years we functioned as a perfectly happy family.
"Then, 3 months ago, my parents died in a car crash. We were driving from the airport to here to move into our new house, next door. It was dark. A car without its headlamps on crashed into us, and they both died.
"Sometimes I think its worse for Wisteria. First, her mom dies, and at 4 years old she has to care for her dad and herself (he kept going to work, but at home he was useless). Then her dad marries again, everything is happy. It wasn't as though she resented my mom being there, she really loved her, because she made dad happy again. But then both die, and again, she has to be the carer, this time for me.
"Anyway, we moved in here after everything was sorted out regarding wills and such. I don't like people calling me that because my parents and Wisty called me that before the accident, and it just reminds me…" she trailed off. Phineas nodded his head.
"I know what you mean," he said quietly. "But," he added, brightening up, "You can't mope around all your life. Things like that you just have to come to terms with. You gotta shake the dust off your feet, hold your head up high and, Ferb?" he asked turning to his brother, "What's that saying you British have?"
"Which one? Keep Calm and Carry On?" replied Ferb.
"No, not that one, the one with the song."
"Oh," Ferb answered knowingly, "You mean…" as he stopped speaking he was raised on a wooden cross which seemed to come from the ground. He raised both arms to horizontal level and a microphone also rose out of the ground in front of him.
"Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle
This will help things turn out for the best
And…
Always look on the bright side of life If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten And…
Always look on the light side of life
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly, chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word
You must always face the curtain, with a bow
Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin,
Enjoy yourself, it's your last chance, anyhow
So, always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a counterfeit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You see, it's all a show, keep them laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And….
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life!"
By the second verse the entire crowd was dancing and singing along to the song. Juniper looked considerably cheered up.
"Yes, that's the one, good job Ferb," Phineas smiled at his brother, who gave him a thumbs up, "Now," he said, turning to Juniper, "Are you going to win against Buford?" She grinned at him.
"You bet!" She affirmed. Phineas went back into the crowd as she turned to the board. Picking up blue, yellow, black and green large pegs, she placed them in that order on the row. Buford moved over to the adjacent square. He already had 4 white small pegs in his hands. He placed the pegs and revealed his identical code.
"Yes!" said Juniper. The crowd cheered, and Isabella and the fireside girls began to usher them out.
"Alright, everyone, move along, nothing more to see here," she said in a commanding tone.
Phineas and Ferb walked over to under the tree and sat down. Baljeet began to walk over to Buford, but then saw his face and joined Phineas and Ferb under the tree.
"Look, Juniper, I'm really sorry for teasing you, I didn't know it would affect you that badly," Buford was saying apologetically.
"Buford, its ok, I forgive you," Juniper replied.
"You do? That's great!" He enthused.
"Good game?" She asked, proffering her hand.
He hesitated before shaking it, "Good Game," he replied. They went and sat under the tree with the others. The fireside girls had gone home, but Isabella stayed.
Candace was staring at the Mastermind board.
"It's still there, this might be my chance!" she muttered to herself.
"Candace?" her mom called from in front of the house.
"Oh, mom! Mom!" Candace shouted, running out of the backyard.
MEANWHILE, IN ORBIT…
Two aliens were arguing in a space ship. One was fat, orange and was sitting on a chair in front of a screen showing earth, and a load of buttons. The other was skinny and purple and had a bulbous head. He was standing up.
"Graga-groga-ga!" exclaimed orange.
"Gak-graga-gronog!" replied purple.
Orange pushed purple slightly, and then purple pushed orange sending him flying. Purple then sat in orange's chair.
"Groo-Gra," he said, before pressing a large red button, which launched a small missile, headed straight towards earth.
BACK IN DANVILLE….
"MOM," Candace shouted, "there's a giant mastermind board Phineas and Ferb made in the backyard.
"Ok Candace, show me," Linda sighed. While they walked round the side of the house, the missile hit the mastermind board, mysteriously leaving no trace of it having been there.
"See, Candace, no mastermind," She said to her daughter. Candace was left gaping at the spot where the mastermind had been as Linda went to greet the boys, "Hey boys, who's your friend?"
"Mom, this is Juniper," introduced Phineas, "She just moved in next door."
"Hi Juniper, do you want to stay for pie?" she asked kindly.
"Yes please, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," Juniper replied.
"Come on inside then kids," Linda said to them. Candace was still staring at the same place. Her mom poked her head round the door.
"Candace, come, or someone else will eat your pie!"
"C-coming Mom!" Candace replied. She followed the rest into the house, and closed the door behind her. But then she opened it again, to stick her head out and say to the platypus just outside the door, "Oh, there you are Perry."
"Krrrrrrrr," Perry answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ha, I bet you thought that was the end right? Well, you'd be wrong. This is the end:
Buford sat a little way away from the rest of the kids, eating his pie. Every so often he would glance up to where Juniper sat, chatting with Isabella. Baljeet walked over to him.
"You like her don't you?" he asked Buford, who sniffed.
"She's alright I suppose," he admitted.
"No, I mean, you like like her don't you?" Baljeet smirked a little. Buford froze. He stood up, towering over Baljeet.
"Do you want a wedgie nerd?" he asked Baljeet, colour returning to his cheeks.
"N-no," Baljeet replied, turning slowly.
"Well, too bad, 'cos you're gonna get one!" Buford said, raising his voice.
"Aaaaaaaaaargh!" screamed Baljeet, running out the kitchen.
Buford went after him, saying, "Heh, you scream like a girl!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~REAL FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~