okay, sorry about the wait. i kept thinking there was more that i could put on this chapter, but then i realised it doesn't need to be any longer! :P

bit of an angsty piece this time, but then again, so was the last!

you may have heard by now, but in case you haven't, i will warn you now, the next chapter may be a bit delayed as my laptop internet is going mad and i have managed to loose my USB pen! so i appologise about that, but i will still be trying to get chapters uploaded as often as i can!

please REVIEW! thanks! enjoy! x

"Rose?… Rose?…" the Doctor called, walking slowly through the house after her, "Rose come on!" eventually he found her curled up in a little ball on one of the sofa's in the large lounge, "Oh Rose!" the Doctor walked over to her and sat down on the sofa by her side, "Rose, I'm sorry," he whispered, his head hung low.

If Rose heard him, she made no sign. The Doctor sighed and slipped his arm around the back of Rose's chair, almost, but not quite, brushing the skin on the back of her neck. Rose's new body tightened slightly, but she didn't move away from him, and the Doctor took this as a good sign, "I didn't mean…it's just… I missed you Rose, I shouldn't have left you here," he finally forced out, at last making the words do his bidding – at least for a little.

Rose tightened at his words, and then stood up, bringing herself to her full height (she was quite a bit taller than she used to be in this new regeneration), the Doctor looked at her, quite calm considering what was going through his head at that moment.

"How dare you?!" she whispered, her voice hard, "I've lived here for more than 60 years of my life. I've been married and have had a daughter… I've watched my mother and my father grow old and die… and I have had a fantastic life doing things I once thought I never could… and you come here and wish you'd never left me here…"

"I didn't… I didn't mean like that!" the Doctor gushed, standing up as well.

"My husband died Doctor! Just like my mum and just like Pete! And I had to watch!" tears began to fall down Rose's soft cheeks,

"I'm sorry," he whispered, trying to make up for the harshness in which Rose had taken his words. As the tears continued to fall, the Doctor wanted nothing more than to reach out to her, to wipe those tears away, but he didn't. He knew she wouldn't thank him for it.

"You're sorry…" she repeated, turning away from his unfamiliar form, "What are you sorry for, eh, Doctor? You sorry that he's dead? You sorry that I'm alive? You sorry that I regenerated? Cuz I am. I don't want this! I don't want to live! I want to die! I want to be with him! The curse of the Time Lords? Well, you can take it back! It's not worth it! It's not… it's not worth it…" she trailed off, tears coming back to her eyes. The Doctor moved towards her but she stepped back, away from him, "It's not worth it," and then she turned and ran out of the room, leaving a confused Doctor wondering what he had done now.

.o0o0o

"Rose, please!" he stood at the bottom of the stairs, unsure whether or not to follow her up to her room or to stay at the bottom of the house.

"No, Doctor! Just go! I know it's hurting you to be here, and I don't want you here anyway!" Rose yelled down at him, slamming her bedroom door like a teenager. He winced as the door hitting the frame wafted down to him. He didn't say a word after that, he just turned and walked out of the house, pausing slightly as he reached the end of the long driveway and looking up to the grand house. If he squinted, he was sure he could just make out a tall, slim, brunette figure, standing by her bedroom window, watching him go. He nodded to the form that he knew must be Rose before turning and letting himself out, walking away from the closest he had ever got to a family since Gallifrey.

.o0o0o

Rose slammed the door, confident that he would be able to hear her from his place by the stairs. After that, she threw herself on the bed, her pillow over her ears. She was acting like a stroppy teenager and she felt like one too.

From far away, Rose heard the front door open and close and she knew it was the Doctor. He didn't slam it, he had just opened and closed it, as if in defeat. Leaving her bed, Rose rushed to her window, looking out over the driveway of the extensive Tyler mansion. From a distance, she saw the Doctor unlock the gate and step out into the road. She watched as he looked back up to the house, and she could swear he looked straight at her. He bowed his head, just slightly, acknowledging her and then he was gone, and Rose was left staring out at him, as though she couldn't quite believe he had just walked away.

.o0o0o

Groggily, Rose reached over to her bedside table, her fingers searching the space, running them around her lamp and over the digital, glow-in-the-dark alarm clock. Nothing. He wasn't up yet.

Keeping her eyes tightly closed, Rose rolled onto her other side, "Babes, I'll love you forever if you get me a cup of tea." She poked the space next to her on the large, king-sized bed.

After that she lay still, waiting for a familiar you don't love me already?! or a forever's a long time, you sure you wanna waste it all on a cuppa tea? or something along those lines, but nothing came. No voice. No sharp poke in the ribs. No stupid joke mumbled through lips still half asleep. Nothing.

Slowly, Rose opened her eyes and allowed herself access to the cold truth. He wasn't there. And he never would be there. Ever. Again.

She shut her eyes quickly, but not quickly enough. The sunlight burned through her scrunched up lids, and, even as she put her head furiously under the pillow, holding it tight to her ears, snippets of bird-song still managed to break into her hollow or despair, trying with all its might to pull her out of her reverie.

Rose shook her head harshly, willing thoughts and memories out. She stretched, but not all the way. Somehow, she managed not to let any of her limbs slip onto his side. If I don't touch him, she thought desperately, he'll be here when I open my eyes. Cautiously, she peeked through one, little eye, taking in the empty space next to her. In her head, she howled like a wolf when she realised there was no-one.

"Mum?" a little voice broke into Rose's thoughts, "Mum, are you awake?"

Rose considered not answering for a moment, just pretending to be asleep, but her daughter's unsure presence by the door and last night's memories fresh in her head made her answer, "I'm getting there."

Sophie smiled and came to sit on the edge of her mum's bed, fiddling with the duvet as she did so, "You and the Doctor fought last night." It wasn't a question.

Rose nodded, she didn't trust herself to speak.

"What happened?"

"…I think he left," it wasn't the answer Sophie had been looking for, and Rose knew it, but to Rose, this fact was far more important. He left you. He left you. The words were tapping out a tattoo on her skull. He came back for you, but you sent him away. He's gone. He's gone. He's left you. He's not coming back. Rose buried her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry." Sorry for what? Why is everyone always sorry?

"Me too."

And that was that.

.o0o0o

"He's not coming back, is he?" Sophie asked as she was finishing her beans-on-toast-breakfast and Rose was washing up her own cereal.

Suddenly, Rose threw the bowl she had just cleaned at the wall, allowing it to bounce and smash on the harsh, unforgiving, tiled floor, scattering millions of tiny pieces across the kitchen.

Both women just stood and sat there for what felt like an eternity, just staring at the pieces of smashed china that had once been a beautiful, blue bowl.

Eventually, Rose tore her gaze away from the segments to look at her daughter, who was already looking at her, knowing without Rose having to say it, what was coming next.

"I'm sorry," Rose whispered, "I can't loose him again," and then she was running out the room, pausing only for a second to grab her keys as she disappeared down the drive, only one thought on her mind – TARIDS.

.o0o0o

Still in some kind of shock, Sophie watched as her mum fled the room. Last night, the idea of a new Doctor confused and scared her, but now, she realised her mother needed this. Needed him.

So she didn't try to stop her. In fact, Sophie didn't even rise from her chair as her mum flew past the kitchen window and down the drive.

Only once Rose had completely vanished from view did Sophie stand. Slowly, as if in a dream, Sophie walked over to the cupboard and fished out a dustpan and brush and began to clear up the mess of china. As if in a dream, she thought to herself, maybe I'm still in one.

.o0o0o

By the time Rose got to the hospital, she was a mess, she could barely tell up from down and the only thing running through her head was Doctor. She skidded to a walk as she made her way into reception, but didn't pause. She kept walking towards the ward she knew the TARDIS to be in. The ward her husband died in.

"Hello, can I help you?" a large man came up to Rose as she made to walk through the double doors out of reception and into the main hospital.

"Um, yes, I'm looking for the Doctor… is he still here? Please tell me he's still here," Rose gushed, without really thinking about what she was saying.

"Um, I'm sure he'll still be here, why don't you come with me?" he took her by the arm and gently lead her towards the main desk, "Which doctor did you want, and I'll ask behind the desk to check if he's here," at Rose's blank expression, he tried again, "What's his name?"

Rose shook her head, as if waking from a dream, "Sorry. Sorry. It's just… my husband died here, and I was wondering if I could go and see the room he died in…" she brought her hands up to her head and rested them there, sobbing gently.

"There, there, it's alright," the man said, somewhat a little awkward in the presence of someone who had lost so much, "The good always die young, so they say… what was it he died of?"

"Well, he was getting on quite old, but it was the cancer that got him in the end," Rose told him, deciding she may as well be honest with the bloke. He looked slightly taken aback when Rose mentioned old age, but she had come to expect that by now, after all, she still looked only around her mid-30s and she had spent most of her life looking 21.

"Well… um… yes…" he stuttered, unsure what to say to this young, heart broken girl, who's husband must've been WAY older than her. He'd be surprised, Rose thought to herself, hiding a grin successfully, and she considered telling him that old age nearly had her, I wonder what he would've said then, she thought, "Of course, you can go right ahead… if you just give me the number of the ward and I'll check that no-one's in it. Would be terrible if you walked in to find another bloke dying in the same bed, now, wouldn't it?!" he chuckled slightly to himself, and then, seeing Rose's expression, he realised what he had just said and sobered instantly, "No, no, of course not, that, that wasn't funny, no."

Rose had to try really hard not to show the grin that was tempting the muscles around her mouth as she noted the man's obvious discomfort and embarrassment. I wonder why he works here, Rose thought as she gave him the number of the ward her husband had spent his last hours in, when death obviously causes him such pain.

"My mother died here. I wanted to give something back to the place that took such good care of her in her final moments," he explained, as if hearing her thoughts, "There, no-one's in it. The room should be unlocked, but just in case…" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a large key, which he handed to Rose.

She thanked him, and told him she was sorry to hear about his mother, something he deflected with a wave of his hand, "It was a long time ago, don't be sorry," Rose smiled then, and patted his arm gently. She wished she could feel that way about her Doctor, but she knew it would be a while before that sort of thinking came to her.

Then she turned, and moved on down the long room, pushing open the doors and stepping into the corridor.

Oh, so many times had she walked through those doors, each time wondering if it would be her last, each time hoping that the next, he would be with her. But this time, it really would be the last, she couldn't come here again. She couldn't live her life in the past, filling her head with memories of how things used to be. She had to move on. But first, she had to go back.

.o0o0o

He twisted the final dial and the TARDIS beeped at him, unimpressed. You're giving up too soon, she said, you've come all this way, and now you're giving up?!

"I have no choice," he spoke out loud, although the words didn't really need to leave his head for his ship to hear them, but for some reason, today he needed the comfort of sound, "She doesn't want me, why would she? When she's had a life with him…" the TARDIS continued to hum, don't leave it like this, she needs time, all she needs is time.

"But that's just it, isn't it? I can't give her time. That's always been our downfall. I'm a Time Lord without enough time. And I've got to lat her go someday…" does that day have to be today? The Doctor bowed his head, he couldn't answer that one, "You already know…" and then he returned to his machine, making the finishing touches so she could get them through the void. He had waited all last night and most of today, putting off leaving as long as he possibly could, always hoping she would come. But now he couldn't delay any longer, there was only so much he could find to fix on a ship as brilliant and as amazing as his, and he had run out. Once, the TARDIS would make parts of herself break, just so he had stuff to fiddle with when he was upset, but not anymore. She couldn't carry on like that, and one day, the Doctor would have to face up to his thoughts rather than burry them at the bottom of the TARDIS, along with wires and memories he no longer wanted.

The TARDIS hummed, all ready, she told him, are you? his fingers hovered over the button that would take them home. Back to their universe. It was a mistake to come here in the first place. He knew it would just hurt him, but he had wanted to say goodbye. Now he had to leave. Forever. And this time, there would be no, forever is impossible, there's always a way, this was the last chance. The last time the walls of the bridge could open. This time it really would be goodbye forever.

But was he ready?…

.o0o0o

Please let it still be there, please let it still be there! Rose raced around a corner, nearly knocking over a trolley filled with food for the patents that was being wheeled by a nurse along the corridor. She just had time to shout a quick "sorry!" over her shoulder before she rounded the next. Moving faster than she had done for years.

Please let it be there, I don't know what I'll do if it's not there… she pushed open the door, slowing herself down as she turned into the ward she was moving towards. She slowly walked down, his bed and the TARDIS were right at the end. She paused as she past his bed, a tear slipping from her eye as she remembered her husbands last words to her 'we love you'. We.

She trailed her finger along his crisp, white bed sheets. Are they the same ones? she wondered. She sat down next to the bed, in the very same chair she had sat in as her Doctor had died. She closed her eyes half way, squinting through the light, she found, if she turned her head partly around and kept her eyes exactly half way she could just about imagine her husband, still lying there, still insisting he was fine and everyone was just making a big fuss over nothing.

She remembered what he had said when Sophie had first come to visit him there, "Oh my god!" he had declared, as Sophie had walked in, clutching the hand of her own Doctor tightly, "Sophie and the Doctor! I must be ill!" Rose had laughed at that, but Sophie and her Doctor had remained quiet. Sophie had gone over to her father and crouched next to him,

"You be strong now dad, you fight it… I know you can beat this!" and then she had turned to Rose and declared, "It's not fair!"

Rose had held her close and whispered, "I know," but she knew it for a different reason. 83, looking 21, and he husband was dying.

Something blue in the corner of her eye brought Rose back to the present. The TARDIS.

She rose from her place by the bed, and slowly made her way to the very end of the corridor. When she reached it, she stretched out a nervous hand and rested it on the cool, blue wood. The TARDIS seemed aggravated about something, and it was vibrating slightly against Rose's touch. Rose leant forward and pressed her cheek against the ship, breathing in the smell that she could find nowhere else in the universe than lingering on the outside of the TARDIS.

The TARIDS hummed angrily and Rose quickly moved away. Slowly, she moved over to the door, her fingers fiddling with the small key on a chain around her neck. Now Rose, do it, quickly! Rose started as a calm, female voice intruded her mind, but she didn't pause to think about it. In one fluent movement she snapped the thin chain around her neck and whipped the key into the hole. It fitted same as always, and Rose found herself releasing a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding.

Good, good, now open the door! the voice was in her head again, but this time, Rose knew who it belonged to. The TARDIS had spoken to her before, after all. But this was the clearest the machine had ever been.

Rose closed her eyes and twisted the key in the lock, pushing the door open.

"Doctor…" she breathed. He looked up, startled, as Rose flung herself into the open room of the TARDIS control centre. He didn't even stop and think about it before he was running towards her and she was in his arms, "I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling herself even tighter into the embrace.

Reluctantly, the Doctor set her back on the ground and held her at arms length, "Don't be sorry, Rose, you've had it tough. Things that should never have happened to anyone have happened to you, and I am so sorry," he wished he could make it better with those words. Wished he could take away all her pain just by apologising for it having happened to her in the first place. It was his fault. All his fault. And there was nothing he could do about it. Not now.

"I thought you were going to leave," she whispered, strands of pale-brunette hair falling in her eyes. He reached forward and brushed them back behind her ear.

"No," he replied, pulling her into him for another hug. Casting a guilty look over his shoulder where the TARDIS controls were all set and ready to return him to his universe, in scarcely even a whisper, he added, "Not yet…" he lifted Rose's head to look at him, "Cuppa tea?" he offered, and smiled when she nodded.

.o0o0o

"There was one gap… Well, it wasn't really a gap – more like a tiny split, in the universe. It was just minuscule, a little, insignificant, diminutive scratch on the surface of reality. Brilliant! Impossible to spot, unless you're as clever as me of course, so it posed absolutely no danger at all. Not even air could get through it!"

"But you did?" Rose pointed out, making the Doctor pause in his explanation.

"I always knew it was there. Even with the universal retro closure, these two universes were just to wrapped up in the other's destiny that it wouldn't be possible for them to close completely," he paused, a huge grin on his face, "But I knew it was there! I always planned to come back, you know. I just… didn't know when," his grin faded slightly, "And then I realised. I could only come back once. Sure, if I came back I could stay, with no damage to either universe, but as soon as I left, that would be it. Cuz I had to open the gap, I had to make it big enough for me and the TARDIS to pass safely through, and there was no way I could do that at the size it was! But it means, that when I leave, I'm gone. Forever. And this time, there'll be no second chances. No impossible. It really will be. The end."

Rose stopped listening as the Doctor rambled on, and she was pretty sure he was aware of this. He was going to go, she thought. She knew. He would've left me. Without even saying goodbye.

"I wouldn't left," he said, softly, as though reading her mind, "Yes, I had the settings ready to leave, but I wouldn't have gone without saying goodbye."

Rose blinked back tears while the Doctor pulled her into a hug. They were hugging a lot these days, but, she supposed, after what we've been through, it's not that unreasonable. Not really.

"We should go… I left Sophie on her own and god knows what she could get up to!" the Doctor nodded slowly.

"Are you okay, though? I mean, I don't have to be there, I can wait, in the TARDIS, if you prefer. If you would rather be on your own with Sophie for a little?" he offered, knocking Rose's broken smile a little.

"You're always welcome at the Tyler mansion," she replied, her smile returning, "You never know when you could need a doctor!" he grinned and pulled her into another hug, "I missed you," she whispered into his chest. The Doctor pretended not to hear, but inside, he was sure his hearts were breaking.