Sailor Lugosi

Chaos boiled and sputtered.

In it's high-backed chair, it watched buffalo stampede before it's 'face.' Then, it reached out and pulled an invisible rope.

"Pull the string!" it intoned dramatically.

"Pull the string!!"

It then leaned back in it's chair. "A mistake has been made. And you are reading it."

A pause, then it continued.

"A story must be told."

"It's time for the Monday Ratings Report," Sailor Mercury introduced. "What's it like today, Mimet?"

"Look at the chart," Mimet squeaked as the aforementioned chart appeared on the screen.

"Hmmm..." mused Sailor Iron Mouse. "35% love us, 25% hate us, and the rest voted to replace us with 'Prince Valiant." She glared at Mimet. "Who conducted this poll, anyway?"

"Umm," Mimet squeaked as she checked her notes. "I got this from the 'The Sailor Senshi Are Wimps' Foundation."

"I'll show them!" Sailor Jupiter yelled from offstage. "Call us wimps, will they?"

Sparkling Wide Pressure, Burning Mandela, Venus Love Me Chain, and the Pink Sugar Heart Attack was launched at Mimet.

"Um... Thank you, Mimet," Mercury concluded. "We'll look forward to next Monday's Rating Report."

"Owww, that hurt," Mimet whined.

Sailor Mars sat on the desk, with her eyes closed. Her face was straining in concentration.

"What's with her?" Mimet asked.

Iron Mouse smiled. "She's helping me find something."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

At that moment, Mars opened her dark eyes and sighed.

"What's the story?" asked Iron Mouse.

Mars shook her head, sending her dark hair flying. "Sorry. I couldn't sense any 'Mr. Mojo Rising' around here. if it is here, it's not showing itself to me."

"Oh, well, at least you tried," Iron Mouse answered with a slight grin. Neither noticed that Mimet had fallen on her chair.

Sailor Jupiter was leaning over something sprawled out on the desk. All her concentration was focused on it, with sweat pooling off her face.

"Hey!" Iron Mouse called. "What're you doing?"

Jupiter whipped the object off the desk in a flourish. It was a sweater with "I love Mako-chan."

"Very good, Sailor Stewart," Iron Mouse commented sarcastically.

Jupiter threw down the sweater, jumped on the desk, and pointed threateningly at Iron Mouse. "I pity the fool!!!"

Iron Mouse sweat dropped. "Sorry I said anything, Sailor T."

As the picture came up again, Sailor Venus sat at the desk staring out into space dreamily.

"Hey, Venus," Iron Mouse called, "What are you doing?"

"Thinking," Venus said dreamily.

"Oh, yeah? Of what?"

"Um... Private things."

"What kind of private things?"

"If I told you," Venus said snappily, "They wouldn't be private."

"Well, excuse me!" Iron Mouse countered in her best Steve Martin voice.

Silence reigned. Then, Venus let out a deep, long, sigh, and turned red.

"What's going on?" asked Mimet, who had returned from the commissary with a big bag of chips.

"Sailor Venus," Iron Mouse answered sarcastically, "is thinking private thoughts about a guy."

"Oh, well," Mimet nodded, tearing her chips opened. "Anything new?"