Another oneshot, I'm on a ROLL!
This one was based on Project Mouthwash's Bleach Abridged series. It's amazing, I must have watched the Diamond Dust Rebellion abridged they did at least five times, lol. I love it.
As a heads up, a LOT of Hitsugaya's quotes are from said series.
Nadiexs: ¡Gracias para tú comentario! Tengo ideas para una segunda parte, en la película segundo (Diamond Dust Rebellion) con Kusaka. Casi todo de mis ideas son para esto película. (Lo siento si mi Español es malo. No tengo mucho practica para dos o tres años.)
Prompt: Abridged
Characters: Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Unohana
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None
They genuinely had no idea what was going on. They would guess Aizen, but that would mean that he was not only being extremely obvious, but also apparently extremely bored, for him to do something like this.
...
"Rangiku, what the hell happened to your voice?!"
"What do you mean Captain? ...And why are you calling me Rangiku?"
"Your voice is way too high! What'd you do, inhale helium?! And since when did I call you anything else!?"
"...Captain, I think you need to go visit Unohana-taicho…"
The normally frigid, controlled, and mature Hitsugaya Toshiro had been replaced with an extremely vocal, rebellious adolescent.
"Hitsugaya-taicho, I'd like you to tell me how you're feeling right now."
"What? Upset I don't observe your commercial holidays, you corporate lapdog?! Society says it's a crime, but I think I'd be a crime to sit back, and let The Man tell me what I can and can not do! … Also, why's your voice different? Why's everyone acting weird today?"
...
One that had absolutely no qualms breaking the rules if he decided that they were stupid. One that frequently insulted his fellow Shinigami, and seemed to think everyone should act and sound different than they did.
...
"Could you explain to me what you mean?"
"Yamamoto's not senile and threatening to set someone on fire every three seconds as what is apparently according to law; Soi-fong is actually pretty similar, but usually she's at least mentioned Yoruichi by now; you're actually pretty much the same; Byakuya isn't spouting out depressing poetry and haikus everytime he speaks; Komamura doesn't have an accent and seems way more civilized; Kyouraku is still a drunk, but doesn't talk about it twenty-four seven, and hasn't been acting like an old drunk; Kenpachi doesn't have senin-itis, and I haven't heard even the smallest scrap of music; Ukitake isn't always in the fourth and is less blunt; and Mayuri is still a creepy mad scientist."
"...I see. And what of the Third, Fifth and Ninth Captains?"
"You mean those traitors? They're reasons Society is such a problem! Gin is a weirdo that vocalizes his periods; it's impossible to understand what Tousen's saying, and Josh Groban is the worst! He pretended to be a famous musician from the Living world! He sends his idiot hollow lap dogs to do his dirty work and tries to kill all of us; except for that one time when we called ceasefire with for Christmas."
"... I see. And who is this 'Josh Groban'?"
"The former Fifth Division Captain."
"Ah, you mean Aizen."
"Yeah, Josh Groban—OH MY GOD YOU CAN ACTUALLY SAY JOSH GROBAN'S NAME! ...What are you writing on that paper?"
"Oh, nothing important."
...
He also detested society. To a ridiculous amount. And blamed absolutely everything on it.
...
"Tell me, since you mentioned it before, what do you think of Society?"
"Obviously, everything that happened was Society's fault! Like all problems, this all stems from a bunch of old men who have no idea what they're doing. Soul Society should be run by the YOUTH, man! We're in touch with ourselves."
"So, you believe that everything that happened with… Josh Groban and the other traitors was because of…"
"SOCIETY! Josh Groban and the others are the byproducts of an unfortunately corrupt and blind Society!"
"Surely it cannot be that bad."
"Our government is ruled through force. We serve a lofty, untouchable King that doesn't give a damn about us, and our highest authorities contain a ruthless madman and a mad scientist!"
"..."
"That's why I swore to change it! Yes—on that day, I made my vow…"
"And what was that vow?"
"..."
"Hitsugaya-taicho? ...Hitsugaya?"
"Shhh... I'm having a flashback…"
"I… see…"
"You may want to reschedule lunch…"
...
Someone was going to die for this. Painfully. End of story.
...
"Hey! What are you doing here, Non-Union soul reaper?!"
"The hell are you talking about?"
"Oh boy…"
OMAKE
Hyourinmaru had also changed, in a way that baffled many shinigami alike.
...
"Sit apon the frozen heavens, Hyourinmaru!'
"DRAGOOOON! DRAAAGOOON! I'M A DRAGOOOON!"
"THE F***S UP WITH HYOURINMARU?!"
I'm not super happy with the format, but meh, what can ya do? Hope you guys liked this! Tell me, have any of YOU seen Bleach Abridged? What do you think about it?
Well, the usual, read, review, like and follow!
Hope to see you guys soon!
Yue