Chapter 4: Delirious
"Renji…Renji, wake up…"
Rukia's voice was oddly distorted and annoying as hell so early in the morning, Renji thought.
"Renji?"
He opened his eyes and glared up at her.
"What th'fuck are you doing waking me up in th'middle of th'night?" he groaned, his voice sounding thick and oddly guttural.
"Idiot," Rukia said, shaking her head, "It's late morning already! We're going ice…"
She stopped and stared down at him, frowning.
"Renji…you don't look so good," she said, starting to sound concerned, I know you were up late last night, but…"
"I'm fine," he said, trying to shake off the dizziness.
He sat up, then immediately wished he hadn't. Rukia's form wiggled and flickered in front of his eyes. He tried to stagger to his feet, but dropped onto the floor.
"Renji!" yelled Rukia, "Renji, what's wrong?"
"Hey…" he groaned, his teeth chattering, "You wanna keep it down? S-some p-people n-need to…sleep…"
"But you're lying on the floor!" she objected, trying to pull him up onto the bed.
"Get th'fuck away…" he moaned, pushing back weakly, "I feel like hell and I want you to leave me alone, Kuchiki!"
Suddenly, Rukia gave a soft gasp and Renji felt strong arms wrap around him and lift him. His vision was so distorted that he couldn't see the man's face, but the light, sweet smell of sakura fell over his senses and the skin that touched his was deliciously soft.
"C-captain," he said dizzily, "Don't mean t'be a bother…"
"Don't be ridiculous, Renji," Byakuya's voice said quietly as the redhead felt himself being carried out of the room.
"H-hey…ah…where are y'takin' me?" he mumbled.
"A warmer room," the noble said simply.
Moments later, he was deposited in an achingly soft and warm bed and wrapped comfortably in blankets. Byakuya left his side for a moment and he heard distorted voices coming in from just outside the room.
"Torio, bring my personal healer…and be quick about it. He seems quite ill."
"Hai, Lord Kuchiki."
Byakuya re-entered the room and moved into the bathroom for several minutes, returning to Renji's side with a bowl of water and a cool cloth. Despite the fact that his teeth were still chattering uncontrollably, it felt like someone had drowned his face in sake and set it on fire. He moaned softly at the comforting coolness of the cloth as Byakuya gently bathed his face and throat, and he tried not to shiver. He coughed, and cringed at how much it hurt inside his chest when he did. And unfortunately for Renji, the one cough set off more, making his chest rattle and leaving him gasping for a good breath. A cool hand touched his face and then moved on to curve around his hand.
"Do you know what this is?" he heard the noble ask someone whose presence Renji had completely missed.
"I believe he is suffering from pneumonia," said a second voice.
"Oh…kami, it's my fault!" Byakuya said, his voice pained, "It's my fault he went out in the cold…"
"This was not caused by exposure to the weather, Lord Kuchiki…and indeed, the infection would have initially occurred several days ago."
"He looked pale the last couple of days, but I thought he was all right. So…what will you do? Will he be all right?"
"I am giving him an antibiotic injection…and he will need to rest after that…several days…"
Renji opened his mouth to complain and pushed away the hand that held the syringe. Then Byakuya's hands took hold of his and the noble's voice sounded softly in his ear.
"Hold still, Abarai. Stop being difficult."
"Ungh," Renji groaned, "No fucking shots…"
"Shut up, Abarai," Byakuya said, an odd warmth to the rebuke, "Let the healer do his job."
He moaned unhappily as the needle bit into his skin.
"There now," said the healer, patting his arm, "Try to rest."
He did try to drop off after that, but kept shifting back in forth between shivering with cold and sweltering heat. He continued to hear occasional voices and sensed Rukia coming and going several times. But mostly, he just sensed the close proximity of his captain, the watchful gray eyes always there when he rose out of the darkness and sat up to take sips of soup or tea. It was always Byakuya who tended to him…and at some point, Renji's hazed mind connected with the fact that the bed he had been placed in was Byakuya's…and his captain had spent several nights either sleepless at his side or curled up for short naps in the attendant's recess in the corner of the room.
He tried to surface, to tell Byakuya it wasn't necessary to play nursemaid to him like that, but he had to admit, he enjoyed the coolness and softness of the noble's hands as they touched him to wash away the sweat from his fever or to touch his face to wake him to eat or take medicine. The only thing that wasn't pleasant was being sick…and also how his being sick seemed to make Byakuya look so much paler…and so worried.
He thought about it as he drifted on the edges of sleep…
I wonder why he's so worried…I mean, I heard the healer say I would be fine. But he sits there with such emotion in his eyes…
Then, a thought struck him.
Maybe it's more than just the fact I'm sick. He sat with his wife like this while she was so ill…and Hisana never got well. Damn…I think he's actually afraid.
He couldn't imagine Byakuya fearing anything…especially what happened to his…
That's what it is…we've become more than a captain and his subordinate. We've become friends. And he worries about losing that…
Renji felt the warmth of that realization spread all through him, leaving him feeling light-headed and weaker than a kitten. He felt a tissue brush against his cheek and realized that a tear of happiness had leaked onto his face. His eyes blinked open and he looked dizzily into the curious gray eyes of the man who leaned over him.
"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
Renji managed a soft laugh.
"I need a fucking shower…that's what I need. But I don't suppose…"
He stopped talking as the blankets were drawn back and he was lifted out of bed and carried into the dressing area. Byakuya set him on his feet, keeping an arm around him as he removed the limp yukata and dropped it into the laundry bin. He shrugged out of his own yukata, then set the redhead against his shoulder and helped him into the bathroom. He started the shower, waited for the water to warm, then helped Renji in and followed after.
As strange as it felt to be so close to Byakuya's bared body, he had to admit that the rush of water and the feel of his captain's hands washing away the annoying layer of sweat was heavenly. He couldn't help but lean back slightly into that strong body and close his eyes.
"I'm sorry I'm bein' such a bother to you, Captain," he mumbled, "but s'nice to t'be clean again, y'know?"
"Stop, Renji," Byakuya said in an oddly soft voice, "You aren't a bother…and it's the least I can do considering I took you out into the freezing cold while you were likely already ill. I may not be responsible for your illness, but I certainly didn't help anything by dragging you out into the cold like that."
"What're you talking about?" Renji asked, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, "I thought it was…really…it was…amazing attending you like that. I've never seen anything so…beautiful like that, y'know? You're a hell of a sexy guy, Captain…"
He felt the sudden tension in Byakuya's body and bit his lip, realizing suddenly, exactly what he had just confessed. He let his body sag in Byakuya's arms and released a jumble of unintelligible words.
Smooth move, dumbass! Just take something sacred like that and turn it into something pornographic…I'm sure that's exactly what he was thinking, including me in that ritual!
Byakuya's body relaxed and the noble fell to gently washing Renji's tangled hair, then combing the knots out and leaving it as long and silken as Byakuya's own. Renji bit his lip harder to keep himself silent while deeply enjoying every minute to the point of not wanting the shower to end. But finally, Byakuya reached over and turned off the water, then helped him back out into the steamy bathroom.
He took one of the soft, thick towels and gave Renji's fevered body the same respectful treatment that Renji had given his the night of the moon chamber ritual. He dried himself more hastily, then helped Renji out to the dressing area and wrapped a fresh yukata around him, smiling at the contented sigh Renji gave when the soft material touched his skin. He dressed himself, then lifted the redhead and carried him back to bed, setting him down and wrapping him in fresh linens and blankets that had been changed as they showered.
"Are you more comfortable now, Renji?" Byakuya inquired.
Renji answered with a light contented snore and with a sigh and a small smile, Byakuya moved over to his desk and worked quietly as Renji slept.
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji woke the next morning with the feeling of coming out of a black tunnel and finding himself suddenly in fresh air and sunlight. Byakuya was gone from the room and the garden doors had been opened to let in the light breeze. He stretched lazily, sitting up slowly and breathing more deeply to clear the fog from his head. A tray with still hot tea sat at his bedside and the scent of sakura hung lightly in the air all around.
Kami, I'm spoiled forever! How am I supposed to go back to my shitty little apartment after this!
He tried to imagine living as Byakuya did, surrounded by servants and everything brought to him and done for him.
But he pays for that, Renji reminded himself, He pays by having to follow their rules and working his ass off leading his squad and managing the clan. No…even waking up in a place like this wouldn't be a substitute for freedom…
Byakuya's voice floated in on the breeze and Renji could hear the discontent immediately.
"Council has no right to decide, first, to invade my privacy within my own home and second, to decide who shall attend me for any ritual. I know the letter of the clan law and there is no provision that says I cannot choose my attendant. Torio had been working without rest for much of the day, as had my other servants. Seeing how busy they were, Vice Captain Abarai volunteered to assist me, as is his right as my vice captain."
"And is it also his right to have our clan leader pine away over him and keep him within his own bedroom during his illness? You could as easily have left it to the healers to care for him. Lord Byakuya, my intent here is not to nitpick about your individual decisions, but to point out a pattern of disturbing behavior."
"What? That I view him as my right hand? He is, Nori! That man has more to say about my personal safety than anyone! He is my vice captain. I would do no one any good if I neglected his well-being."
"Be that as it may, Lord Byakuya. The elders feel that you are on the verge of impropriety and we feel we have to warn you of our awareness of that. You have already defied this council several times, causing great amounts of unpleasantness. It is enough that you married a peasant female. To have you give such attentions to someone who is both peasant and male is unseemly and…"
"You can stop right there," Renji said, stepping out into the garden and approaching the patio table where they sat, "Don't you dare accuse my captain of doing anything wrong!"
"Renji," Byakuya began.
"Captain Kuchiki takes his position as leader of your clan very seriously…so seriously that he supported the execution of his own sister simply because the law demanded it. Do you honestly think someone like him would waste his time trying to get into the pants of someone like me? I am his vice captain and I am his friend and if there's anything wrong with that, it's just too damned bad. We care about each other and we watch out for each other. I'm the one whose job it is to see that your clan leader comes back from his missions all in one piece."
"No one questioned your dedication to your job, Vice Captain," Nori said shortly, "but the elders are concerned about…"
"You're concerned about the way things look. Well…no one was around to 'look' as I attended Captain Kuchiki with his research and in the moon chamber and no one was around to 'look' when he took care of me during my illness. There is no impropriety in taking care of someone who is ill. Watching out for your friends is an honorable thing to do…not something to be badgered about."
He turned to Byakuya.
"Captain, I am sorry that my being here has upset your elders. I am well enough to return home and will do so immediately."
"Renji…" Byakuya began, but stopped as Nori set a hand on his arm.
"He is well enough. Let him go. We have other issues to discuss."
Byakuya gave Renji's departing form one last look, then turned and followed Head Councilor Nori out of the gardens.
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji shook his head in disgust as he walked back to the guestroom where he had been staying and picked up his belongings. He shoved everything into his pack, threw it over his shoulder and left the manor, frowning as he made his way through the icy streets and back to his apartment. He climbed the stairs slowly, still feeling the dregs of the fever he had suffered. By the time he reached his room, he felt sore and shaky.
He dropped his pack on the floor and fell onto his cold, unmade bed, groaning as he realized that the heat was not working…again. As he dropped onto his stomach and rested his face on his crossed arms, he caught sight of a small package that had fallen out of his pack. His brow furrowing with curiosity, he opened it and found a small ivy plant. A smile came to his lips as his fingers touched the tiny, fragile looking leaves and stems. Looking back into the box, he found a typed message.
This plant, though fragile looking and small has its own unique strength. Watch as it grows and spreads and wraps itself around the structure it is given. What is between us is yet fragile and there are many things that could cause it to wither. But like ivy, you and I are made to be entwined with each other. We will always alternate and change, one providing the necessary strength while the other clings. No one is always strong, but even in our weakness, we will have what we need to grow. Take this symbol of my affection and treat it with yours. Love given is never wasted and never lost.
He set the message down on his table and looked around for the warmest spot he could find for the plant. Sighing in annoyance as he realized that there was no really warm spot in the whole damned apartment, he took the ivy plant and his pack and walked several blocks to the sixth division. He unlocked the front door and walked in, and was surprised to find Byakuya at his desk, working.
"I uh, thought you had to talk more to that elder…Nori."
"I concluded my business with him and had work to catch up on. What brings you here? You are still on sick leave."
"Ah, the heat is out in my building…again…so I'm staying here."
Byakuya's head tilted slightly and his brow furrowed as he noticed the ivy plant.
"What is that?" he asked softly.
"Oh…an ivy plant…a gift from…well, I guess you'd say, a secret admirer."
"I see. A telling gift…ivy, I mean."
"Yeah…it is. I think this person really likes me. And it kind of worries me."
"Why is that?" the noble asked, looking back at his work.
"Well…" said, stopping and sighing, "I'm not sure…but…I may already be interested in somebody. I just know if that's what it is yet. And if it is serious, well then, I don't want to give someone else the wrong idea, you know?"
"Hmmm…" Byakuya said, glancing up at him, "I think you need to give the matter some thought."
"Ah…probably not…cause the person I'm interested in isn't really…'available.' Perhaps I should just let it go. It might the wiser thing to do."
"That's unusual, coming from you," Byakuya commented, his eyes unreadable, "Usually, you are one who responds to his heart. I would advise that you listen carefully to it. It most often leads you correctly…Renji."
"Yeah…well, I'm off to get some more rest."
He set the ivy plant on his desk and left the office. Byakuya continued working for several minutes after he left, then rose and walked to Renji's desk. His fingers lightly touched the delicate plant and as he did, the dainty end stretched up and wrapped lightly around his fingertip. He stroked the slender limb gently, then returned to his desk and buried himself in his work to stifle the pangs of doubt that threatened to overwhelm him.